dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (24 page)

“Cool, so does this mean I’m like a groupie and I get to sit with the guys in the band’s girlfriends?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She backhanded me after putting the car in park. As she did she put her finger in the collar of my tee shirt and pulled me to her.

“Yes, you’re a groupie Blake Lawson. But you’re mine. I won’t hesitate to get alpha female on your ass,” she said with a laugh.

I laughed. “That’s fucking funny. I would gratefully allow it, Brecken.”

“Oh, there’s no allowing Blake. It is what it is.” She laughed as she pulled me in and kissed me.

Damn it when she spoke that way and took charge, it did do something to me. I wanted her to claim me as hers. It wasn’t that I wanted to submit or anything, I just wanted her to want me as hers as much as I wanted her as mine.

She broke our kiss and smiled at me. “We need to get inside.”

“Lead the way,” I said as I jumped from the car and turned to let her out the passenger side of the car right after me.

We had been doing that the last few days. She said it saved time for if I was insisting on letting her out of the car, I might as well just let her follow me out my side. It was a funny thing to do, but it was our thing.

We walked into the garage and there were, in fact, girlfriends sitting around waiting to watch the practice. I saw Mason and nodded to him. Brecken went to talk to her nephew and the guys in the band, so I decided Mason was a better option to speak to rather than the random chicks in the room.

“Hey Mason, how you doing?” I asked. “It’s been what, two hours since I saw you last?”

Mason laughed. “Yeah, I’m doing well. Scared shitless about this though,” he said.

“No need to freak. These guys are pretty cool from what I’ve heard. Plus, you know Conall right?” I asked.

“Yeah, I know him. I just don’t want to fuck up,” Mason said. “I don’t like messing up anything. My parents always told me it was going to catch up to me someday and I needed to remember I can’t succeed at everything.”

“That’s sound advice,” I said. “How are your parents?”

“Oh, they’re great. Pike and I visited with them last night. Did I tell you it turns out Pike knew them? Small world, I guess. He went to school with my Dad’s older brother. So I had to listen to them tell stories about the good old days. That was interesting.”

“I’m sure it was,” I said as I watched Brecken. She laughed at something Conall said and she looked fucking amazing..

“Did you even hear a word I said?” Mason asked on a laugh.

“Yes, Pike knows your Dad’s family. You are scared shitless. Also, you said something about liking My Little Pony right?” I asked with a smart ass grin.

“Fuck you dude. I’m not a brony,” Mason laughed. “My friend was though. I don’t judge. People can like what they like. I still have my Transformer Action Figures. But I left the ponies to my sisters.”

“Okay, you ready?” Brecken asked Mason as she walked toward us.

“I am,” he said as he gave her a nod.

Mason walked to the drum set and spoke with the guys before sitting down.

Brecken stepped near me and pulled me in for a hug. She rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me with a smile. “No funny business,” she said as she stepped onto her tiptoes to try and kiss my chin. I had to lower myself to her so she could reach it.

She patted the side of my face before turning to take the microphone.

I turned around and took a seat on a stool that was next to the wall. There were three girls standing on the other side of the room.

Mason became excited when he heard the song they were playing. I had never heard The Dead Weather before, but apparently everyone in the band thought them great.

Mason started in with an odd drumbeat that built up as more of the instruments joined in.

Then Brecken began to sing. Holy fuck, did she begin to sing.

Just like last weekend when she sang at the Böhme, she began to take on the song. It consumed her. The rest of the room disappeared as she let the music take control.

The rest of the band seemed to feed off of her energy. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.

The girls began to nod their head and one of them, a tall blonde, cheered loudly when Conall began to sing. Her arms dropped to her side and she let her head hang as she nodded then yelled, “Fuck. Yeah.” She lifted her hand to Conall and pointed at him with a smile.

Brecken kept her eyes on her nephew when she sang and they intensified their singing as the song progressed.

I started nodding to the song, but remained on the stool where I sat.

As Brecken kind of freaked at the end of the song, I let out a laugh of pride. Then the song ended and I yelled, “Hell. Yeah.” I clapped loudly and putting my fingers to my lips, whistled. Brecken shook her head and rolled her eyes at me, before a huge smile formed on her face.

Damn it.
I was a fucking groupie
.

__________

In movies there is usually a part where they need to show the transition of time, but not use up the precious amount of screen time allotted. It’s called a montage.

Music plays in the background and you see the main character or characters doing something—growing physically or mentally. Hollywood likes to show late night studying while drinking coffee as well as the occasional dude getting sweaty while lifting weights. Because that is what time looks like passing—just the everyday happenings playing out.

The montage shows progression in character without all the bullshit. But if the main characters are in a relationship, they fall deeper into infatuation with one another as they move forward. Soft music plays as they hold hands, run through a field of flowers, or sit on the couch cuddling.

That soft music isn’t playing when thinking of Brecken and me. It was a whirlwind and we were caught up in each other. The music was playing in the background and we were growing closer each day. The music blared around us and penetrated every aspect of our lives. We were inseparable. But it didn’t seem false like every other relationship I’d been in.

I never understood how false they were until I was with her. I never wanted to know another person as much as I did her. I understood the look I saw on Wynn’s face every time Hannah said his name, because I knew I wore the same one when Brecken said mine.

The first time I saw it on Wynn’s face was the night I went to his house with Abby for dinner. That was a horrible night that I want to forget happened, but in the end I guess it was good for all of us. I saw Abby’s true self and Hannah realized she did care about Wynn.

But before all the bullshit happened, I saw how Wynn looked at Hannah.

We were sitting at his table, eating the god awful meatloaf he always made, and Hannah said, “Wynn, this is amazing.” It was a simple sentence. But the pride he felt at the sound of his name on her lips was obvious. It was something I never saw on him before and I was jealous for a moment. I also wanted that, but I wanted it more for him. If anyone in the world deserved to feel pride for being who they were without expectation, it was Wynn.

Now I found myself wanting to see Brecken’s smile as she said my name. I wanted to always make her smile because it was the best feeling in the world. The conversations and jokes shared without the physical were something I wasn’t used to.

We spent almost a month together—every day. I was physically aching to say the least, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Yes, the last few weeks went by so fast it felt like a montage. But sometimes it felt like it was a torturous montage and not a pleasant one every time we would get so far together, only to pull back.

“This is fine,” Mason said, bringing my focus back onto the road as he pointed toward a bank.

Mason was becoming like a younger brother to me after he moved in with my parents. He took residence in my old room instead of on Pike’s couch and he seemed to be more relaxed now that he had settled in.

I was driving him to cash his check now and he sat next to me, deep in thought.

“What’s up Mason?” I asked. “You haven’t said much today—which is odd for you.”

He sighed as he pulled on some strings at the bottom of his jeans.

“Blake, can you help me with something?”

“Of course man, what’s up?” I said as I took a turn into the bank.

“I’m trying to find someone and I need a ride to this address just on the outskirts of town. Think you can take me there?” he asked.

“Sure—right now?” I asked. I knew Brecken was expecting me later, but I learned she wasn’t one to bitch about me being late.

“Well I guess we could now. It’s as good a time as any,” he said as he closed the door of my Jeep to go into the bank.

“Yeah, I can do that,” I said. I pulled out my phone to send a message to Brecken.

She responded right away.

Brecken: Sure, I have some things to get done before I see you later anyway, Birthday Boy. ;)

She made my chest hurt. That’s the only way to explain it. When she said stupid, cheesy-ass things like calling me Birthday Boy, I loved it. She and I became these people that I didn’t expect to become. It was easy with Brecken.

Me: Call me Birthday Boy in person and I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my promise.

I laughed at myself as I hit send and Mason climbed back in.

He looked at my phone and shook his head. “I swear, you keep that up, Brecken’s going to be writing ballads.”

I shook my head as I turned to reverse out of the parking spot. “How is the songwriting going?” I asked.

“I’ve met with the band a few times. We’re just waiting on Brecken to make it over more often, but it seems she’s been preoccupied,” Mason said as he turned to me with a raised brow. “May I?” he asked as he reached to the stereo to turn it up.

“May I?” I said with a mocking laugh. “Yes Mason, you may knock yourself out.”

“Go ahead and make fun of me, I’m used to it,” he said as he turned the stereo up.

That kid always took over the music every time he got in my Jeep, I didn’t know what made him ask permission this time.

We drove in silence for a time, just listening to the stereo. It was out of character for Mason though. Over the last few weeks, I’d learned that Mason rarely kept quiet. Today he was fidgeting in his seat and I figured this had something to do with where we were going. If he didn’t want to talk about it, I wasn’t going to push it.

We made it across town before the sun even set and ended up on a dirt road. 

“This is kind of out in the boonies, man,” I said on a laugh.

“Yeah it is, isn’t it?” he said. “It looks like the road is the next left.”

I turned on the road and drove about a half-mile before Mason directed me to turn down a driveway.

The driveway wove through trees and at the end of the drive we came to a small farmhouse with a barn that was twice the size of the house. There were cars propped up around the lawn. Some were old and rusty, while others looked newer.

“What kind of place is this, man?” I asked.

“It’s just a house; I guess the guy works on cars.” He leaned to open the door. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Mason said as he dried his hands across his legs.

“Do you need me to come in with you?” I asked.

“No, I’ll be okay. It shouldn’t take long. I just need to ask some questions—for my own sanity,” he said as he ran up to the door.

I decided to pass the time by calling Brecken.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” she said before the first ring even ended.

“Were you waiting for my call?” I asked as I felt my cheeks pull in the way they always did when I spoke with her. “I hope it was me you expected to call, otherwise I might have to kick some ass.”

She laughed. “That’d be a sight to see—Blake as an overprotective asshole. But yes, I knew it was you— caller ID, dorkus,” she said.

“Do you know how much I love hearing you call me an asshole? When I hear you say that, your tone of voice tells me what you really mean to say. I’ve heard you call people assholes, but it’s different when you say it to me,” I said and she began to laugh her throaty laugh. “But I’d rather hear you call me Birthday Boy.”

“Nope, that’s only in text. I can’t say that out loud and retain my dignity,” she said. “Are you going to be home soon?”

“I hope so. Mason just needed me to run him somewhere. He’s in there now and after he finishes up, I just need to drop him off and then I’ll be home. So what’s the plan for my birthday by the way?” I asked.

“Well, we have to celebrate,” she said with a seductive tone, drawing out the final
T
as she spoke.

“Really? But it’s still just been two weeks. I’m not sure what kind of celebrating you’re alluding to.”

“I think it’s about time, Blake,” she said.

“About time for what?” I asked coyly, trying to hide the hope that ached in my pants.

She laughed. “For me to make you a pineapple upside down cake, of course,” she said with even more laughter. “Your mom told me it’s your favorite. I’m going to make you one with veggies hidden in it,” she said.