Distorted Hope (2 page)

“Is that your boyfriend?” Dark-Eyed Man asked as I stopped next to their table. His eyes were so dark they almost looked black.

“What?” I exclaimed, stopping midway through putting a soda in front of him to stare. I blinked several times and finished placing the cup on the table. “No,” I shook my head and gave a mix of a sigh and nervous giggle. “No, definitely not a boyfriend.”
I wish.

“Why do you say that?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I—” I looked down at myself then over at Jason with longing and shook my head again. “I don’t think I’m his type. Have you decided what you’d like?” I asked, changing the subject.

He gave me an amused smile and ordered a BLT, handing the menu back to me. The rest of the men gave their orders and I went back to the computer, avoiding looking at Jason’s table. When Jason and Steve’s sandwiches came up, I almost asked Maria to deliver them. I was certain Jason had overheard the conversation and I was thoroughly embarrassed. But Maria had gone in the back and I couldn’t avoid them. I took a deep breath and picked up the plates.

“Hey, Kyra,” Jason said as I placed their sandwiches in front of them. He cleared his throat and looked nervous. “I, uh, was wondering… Um, are you doing anything tomorrow night?”

More than a little surprised by the question, I fell back on my usual ‘evade and deflect’ response. “No. I mean, nothing other than my normal Friday night stuff,” I added quickly with a casual shrug. I didn’t want to admit my usual ‘Friday night stuff’ involved hanging out at my apartment watching a movie… or reading a book. After a moment to think about it, I tilted my head, trying to understand why he was asking me that question. “Why do you ask?” I apparently wanted to torture myself. How could he possibly have a vested interest in my Friday night activities?

Jason ran his hand through his hair, looking sheepish. “I was just wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me, but if you’re busy… I understand.”

My heart pounded as I stared at him, not quite sure I’d heard him correctly.
He’s asking me out to dinner? With him? Me?
I realized I was gawking at him and quickly looked at the ground. “Oh. Well…”
How do I back out of what I said without looking like a complete idiot?
“I mean, my usual stuff isn’t concrete or anything… nothing formally planned… that might be nice… to go out to dinner… with you.”
God, I sound stupid
.
Might? Really?

His eyes brightened. “Really?”

I was stunned by the happiness in his eyes. That couldn’t possibly be from what I said. “You really want to take me out to dinner?”

Jason laughed. “Well, that
is
why I asked. It would be kinda stupid to ask you if I didn’t want to.”

“Yeah,” I smiled shyly, “I guess.”

“How does seven o’clock sound?” He actually sounded eager.

Am I dreaming?
“That sounds great,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

He grinned. “Cool. Give me your phone number and I’ll text you and then you can text me your address.”

“My phone’s in the back.”

“No prob. Text me when you get off work.”

I gave him my number and he typed it into his smartphone. “There. Text me when you have a chance.”

“Okay.” I smiled shyly and then walked back to the counter, staring wide-eyed at Maria.

“Did he ask you out?” she asked in an excited whisper.

“Yeah, he did.” I was certain I had a stupid grin on my face. “I can’t believe it!” I shook my head and glanced at my new table to see if they needed anything. The dark-eyed man was looking at Jason’s table. Was he studying them? “What do you think of those guys?” I whispered to Maria. There was something… scary about them.

“Cute.” Maria grinned and pulled the plates for one of her tables. “Why, you want a date with them, too?” She winked and walked away.

I looked back at Dark-Eyed Man. Something seemed… off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but he seemed dangerous.

The men’s food appeared in the window and I delivered it. Dark-Eyed Man shifted in his seat as I put his plate in front of him and I saw something under his jacket.
Omigod! Is that a gun?
I froze and looked at him with wide eyes. He met my gaze and smiled calmly. “Nothing to worry about, Kyra,” he said—his voice quiet but firm—and motioned to the counter. “Go back to work. You didn’t see anything.”

The other men chuckled as I nodded and walked away, stunned. It was legal to carry guns in Arizona but not many did around here. I tried to not shake as I cleaned the counter but noticed Dark-Eyed Man watching Jason and Steve several times. Was he going to do something to them? The man caught my eye and I looked away quickly, willing myself to not look again.

The lunch rush began and I got busy. Jason found me before he left and reminded me to text him my address. Dark-Eyed Man and his friends left a few minutes later.

I’m just imagining things. I read too many books. It’s just a coincidence.
I pushed the questions out of my mind and concentrated on being a good server so I could make my share of rent this month.

Stacey, my roommate, sat on my bed and watched as I attempted to pick an outfit for my dinner date with Jason. Stacey had lunch at the diner a couple times a month and had seen Jason. She, like Maria, had tried to convince me to ask him out many times, but I didn’t like the idea of asking guys out. That and I really didn’t want to be rejected.

“What about this?” I asked, pulling a blue, cotton skirt and white sweater out of the closet.

Stacey shook my head and made a face. “It’s your first date, Kyra. You need something… special.”

“I don’t have anything special. I never go anywhere.”

“Well, that’s your first problem.” Stacey laughed. “If we had more time, I’d take you shopping, but you didn’t tell me yesterday.”

“Stace, you know I don’t have the money to go out shopping like you do.” Stacey worked downtown as a paralegal. She had a steady paycheck. I didn’t.

Stacey rolled her eyes. “You do, you just don’t want to spend it.”

“That is for emergencies.” My grandparents had left me a little bit of money when they died, which I put in a savings account as an emergency fund.

“Not having something to wear for a first date—”

“…does not constitute an emergency,” I finished for my friend.

Stacey sighed and dragged me into her room. Opening her overstuffed closet, she pulled out a fitted, sleeveless, lavender dress.

“That’s too short,” I protested.

“It’s not too short for normal people, Kyra. Besides, you’ve got great legs. You should show them off. Put it on, let me see.”

I rolled my eyes but put the dress on anyway. It stopped mid-thigh. “It’s still too short.”

“You look hot.” She handed me a pair of three-inch heels, which I put on reluctantly. “Now even hotter. Your legs look great.”

I frowned. “‘Hot’ doesn’t belong in a sentence referring to me.”

“It would if you’d let me help.”

“I let you once. It didn’t work out very well.”

“Ryan was an asshole. He still is.”

I swallowed. “This is a mistake. I shouldn’t have agreed to go out with Jason.” I pulled the dress over my head and dropped it on Stacey’s bed before stalking back to my room to get my phone. Canceling the date seemed like the sensible thing to do.

Stacey and I had been friends since we were matched as lab partners our sophomore year of high school. I had been teased mercilessly throughout elementary and middle school and played the role of the school nerd very well. To say I was flabbergasted when one of the most popular girls in school befriended me is putting it mildly. I didn’t believe her at first, but Stacey proved her loyalty by being my defender. She wouldn’t stand for anyone to make fun of me when she was around. It still happened, but the teasing occurred less often after our friendship began. Stacey even tried to get me to be accepted into the ‘cool’ group, but the other kids wouldn’t allow it and by that point, I was beyond wanting to fit in. Stacey refused to give up friendship with me and met me in my comfort zone, even while she remained popular.

Before our junior year began, I let Stacey give me a makeover to start the year off right. And it did. The popular kids accepted me into the group and I had a place to belong. I’d had a secret crush on this guy named Ryan for years and when he invited me to the homecoming dance, I walked on air for weeks. My grandmother had taken me shopping for a beautiful dress and I took my time getting ready and waited for Ryan to pick me up. And waited. And waited. And waited.

Stacey called me two hours after the dance started and told me Ryan had turned up with Crystal, another popular girl. It turned out he had been planning on taking Crystal the whole time. I yelled at Stacey, accusing her of being in on the joke. It had taken me months to accept that Stacey hadn’t been involved in the ‘plot to humiliate Kyra.’ However, I learned my lesson and swore I would never put myself out there again. I went back to my nerd status. It was safe. Lonely, but safe. Stacey was the only person my age I trusted and the only person I allowed into my life for a long time.

After we graduated high school, Stacey began her studies at Arizona State. I had planned on working for a couple of years to save some money before starting college, but when my grandparents died shortly after I finished high school, I never got around to starting. I moved in with Stacey and got a job working at the diner. I’d been there for three years. It was a good job with a good set of regular customers. It even helped me come out of my shell a little—helped me realize there really were nice people out in the world.

When Jason had come into the diner for the first time a few months ago and flashed that bright smile at me, I nearly melted. He was friendly and nice. Both he and Steve teased and flirted with me and I gradually began to look forward to their visits.

And now Jason had asked me out. I liked him, but was he another Ryan?

I picked up my phone and searched for Jason’s number.

“I’m not letting you chicken out,” Stacey said, snatching the phone out of my hands.

“Stacey!” I made a grab for my phone, but she pulled it out of my reach.

“He’s not Ryan. Ryan was a sixteen-year-old asshole. Jason is a grown man who likes you.” When I tried to protest, she shook her head. “I’ve seen him look at you, Kyra. He likes you. Please trust me.”

I fought within myself. Reason told me Jason wouldn’t do to me what Ryan had. My heart told me not to take the chance.

“If he treats you badly, spit in his food next time he comes in.”

I burst out laughing, relieving the tension and helping me listen to reason. I was being silly. I was twenty-two years old, not sixteen. “Alright,” I sighed.

I followed Stacey back into her room and let her help me with my hair and makeup. After I put the dress and shoes back on, Stacey grinned. “You look hot. The purple really brings out your green eyes.”

I rolled my eyes but when I looked in the mirror, I slowly admitted to myself that I looked pretty good. Those heels
really
did wonders for my calves.

She grinned. “Maybe you’ll finally get laid.”

“Stacey!” I exclaimed. “That’s not how I envision my first date with Jason.”

Stacey rolled her eyes. “One of these days you need to have sex, Ky. It’s not healthy being a virgin at twenty-two.”

I sighed. We’d had this conversation many times before. Stacey thought she couldn’t make it a week without sex. I had watched her go through boyfriends like socks, and it looked exhausting. I wanted my first time to be special, not just a one-night stand. “I’ll stick with my romance novels.”

It amazed me that we’d managed to stay friends all these years. We were so different. Stacey was tall and blonde, had legs for days, and drool-worthy cleavage. I was average height with average breasts and hips. For all Stacey had done in getting my brown, curly hair to shine and my green eyes to glow for my date, in my everyday life, I was just ordinary.

Stacey had dates every weekend or went clubbing if she didn’t. She dragged me to the club a few times but no one paid me any attention and I acted like a perfect wallflower. Maybe if I had let her dress me up as she wanted to it might have helped, but I was too afraid to try again.