Distraction (35 page)

The doors finally closed, separating us.

My stomach sank from the quick jolt as the elevator shot
upward. My legs weakened and I pressed my hands against the cold, steel wall
for balance and closed my eyes. Behind them, a repeat of Tristan
'
s warm golden
eyes, glossed and full of pain, haunted me.

Shit, why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn't life and
all its distractions just fade away?

I couldn't let the what-ifs get to me because the elevator
had made it back to the top floor, where Eric waited around the corner.
However, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think,
so was Tristan.
So was Tristan.

Chapter
23

Tristan

Elle disappeared behind the elevator doors, and still I
couldn't look away. She'd held me, trapped in some sort of fucked-up trance and
it really sucked. The light kiss only made shit worse. Torment and a fear like
nothing I
'
d ever experienced  hit me, hard. A cold sweat covered my
face, my stomach felt gutted, and my heart rate spiked one second, and then
bottomed out the next.

I remembered her saying how hard it
'
d been to watch
me be with other women, and at that moment, I understood more than I liked to.

The hint of indecision in her eyes just before the doors
closed produced a numbing ache in the pit of my stomach. Where would this lead
us in the end? I wanted to blame Green for every bit of splintered pain I
'
d taken on these
past few months but couldn't. He turned out to be a decent guy. I just didn
'
t want to accept
him. The look on his face when Elle walked into the room said it all. He cared,
and maybe even loved her. Again, I couldn't blame him. Who wouldn
'
t love
her?

Every bit of life drained out of me on my way back to the
car. As I drove away, I prayed for peace of mind, for patience, but mainly that
in the end Elle would choose...me.

I didn
'
t go home right away. Instead, I drove through town in
complete silence, afraid of what song they
'
d play on the
radio. Unfortunately, the silence was worse. One second I
'
d picture Elle
telling Green she loved me. The next I
'
d see him pressing her against him,
kissing and touching her in places I
'
d only dreamed of touching her. My mind
fabricated so many different scenarios, what little hope I clung to just about
vanished completely.

I turned the radio on in time to hear James Blunt, “You
're
Beautiful
."
Fuck. Me. I turned stations: Hoobastank
'
s, “The Reason."

"You
'
ve got to be fucking kidding me." I leaned forward and
turned the damn thing off. Silence. Again.

After a good hour drive, I felt beaten, tired, and deflated.
With nothing left to do, I drove home. Once inside, I didn
'
t bother turning
on the lights. I went straight to bed and waited for sleep to come.

* * *

Bang Bang Bang

My eyes shot open with a start. I didn
'
t remember
falling asleep, but didn’t complain about the escape it gave me. I raked my
hand over my face.
Bang
Bang Bang
I jumped out of bed and headed
for the front door.

Stumbling in the dark, I stubbed my toe on the coffee table.
Whoever decided to bang on my door had better be near fucking death. The noise
came again
, but louder.

"Yeah, I
'
m coming.
" I flipped the switches, turning the porch and living
room lights on. Brightness stung my eyes. When I opened the door, my mind
spaced out. I couldn't believe who graced my doorstep. Elle, still in the dress
she
'
d changed into tonight–or last night considering I didn't
know what time it was–stood in front of me. I looked from her crisp, spring
green eyes, down to her full, pouty lips. Damn. My eyes had a mind of their
own, absorbing every inch of her body. From the subtle cleavage peeking from
the top of her dress to her slim waist, I greedily took her in.

I knew when I picked out the dress seeing the thin piece of
material on her again would be a risk. God, back in high school at our prom,
she looked like an angel. So, when I found it on the hanger, I had to see her
in it again.

Wait? She was here...at my house...not with Green?

"What
'
s wrong?" Panic kicked in, and I stepped outside to look
around. I didn
'
t find anyone else there, including her car. I moved back and
stood in front of her. "Did something happen between you and Green?"
I looked her over more carefully, making sure no marks were found. When I didn
'
t find anything
out of place, I went on. "What
'
s going on?" I felt the same
numbness fall over me. I waited for her to answer. Finally she spoke.

"I couldn't do it. I didn
'
t want Eric. I
want to be with you. I
'
ve always wanted to be with you." Elle stopped and took
in a deep breath. Apart from the hammering in my chest, her words paralyzed me,
completely.

"When Eric kissed me all I could think about was you."

Like an idiot, I continued standing in silence. Was this shit
for real?

"Say something!"

I couldn't, though I did manage to make my feet move and
stepped closer.

I ran my thumb over her bottom lip, needing to be sure she
was really there and not a figment of my imagination. I didn
'
t wonder long.
Taking control, Elle grabbed my shirt and crashed her lips to mine.

Best. Fucking. Kiss. Ever. I skimmed her lip with the tip of
my tongue and she released a soft whimper. I damn near lost my shit. Her hands
moved under my shirt, sliding her fingers across the tight muscles along my
back. Without breaking apart, I scooped her up. Holding her tight against my
chest, I took a few steps back and closed the front door with a forceful slam.
At that point I could
'
ve cared less if the damn door broke. I needed her, and the
way her lips pressed firmer with mine, the way she rocked up and down against
me, I knew she wanted me just as badly.

Her legs wrapped around my waist and she locked her ankles. I
held her thighs tighter, my fingers digging into the silk material, but the
contact wasn
'
t enough. I wanted more. I needed to feel her skin, touch her
body, feel her clench around me as I rocked into her over and over. I wanted to
watch her cheeks blush when she came. I wanted to make her lose control. I
wanted her begging for more.

I moved us back against a wall for better access. Her nails
dug into my back. She grabbed my shirt and tugged until it came up and over my
head.

"Tristan, I want you so bad," she said in a quick
pant, then urged me back to her swollen lips.

I
'
ve never wanted her more, but I realized not like this. I
wanted her to be sure. Son of a bitch. I pulled away, resting my forehead on
hers. Her hot breath blew across my face, increasing the pressure against my
zipper. Another second or so and the small amount of will power I clung to
would be gone.

"Elle, are you sure?" I looked up, and choked.
Kellie. Not Elle. I felt sick.

"I knew you were in love with her," Kellie shot
back.

My eyes flew open and I bolted straight up from my bed.
"Holy fucking shit!" My heart took off like a goddamned racehorse, my
head spun, and my sheets were soaked with sweat. I eyed my empty room. The
pressure against my boxers ached, and all from a dream. The thought of being
with Elle in reality only made the pulse worse.

"
A goddamn dream?
" I grunted, fed up with the constant empty pit in my
stomach when I thought of Elle. My phone buzzed on my dresser.

As if she knew what she
'
d done to me while sleeping, Elle
sent me a short and sweet text.
Thanks for last night.

The vein in my temple pulsed, my teeth gnashed together, and
I gripped my phone in my hand. I looked at the device, lost my cool and chucked
the thing across my room. Only my phone didn
'
t shatter.
Perfect. My phone buzzed again confirming it hadn
'
t broken.
Curiously, I headed over and picked it up.

Not recognizing the number, I opened the text.
Can
'
t wait for our hot
date. Be here at seven. XX, Ginger
What the fuck? I never gave Ginger my number.

The walls narrowed around me. I needed to get out. Fifteen
minutes later, I headed out for a jog and left my phone back home in case Elle
decided to text me again. I didn
'
t want or need any distractions.

An hour raced by. I didn
'
t feel any
better when I got back home. The hot shower helped a little, but not enough
to...forget.

When I got out, I called Bret. He'd dated Ginger a while
back. Maybe he could help me out with my suicide date. When he picked up, he
said he'd head over so I gave him my address. I needed a drink and headed to
the kitchen to grab a beer. I popped the top off and guzzled two down by the
time Bret showed up.

Problem one, when I told him my situation he couldn't stop
laughing. I should have known not to trust his goofy ass. The man liked Alyssa.

"Okay, dipshit. Can you stop laughing? You sound like a
fucking hyena."
I sat in the chair, brooding. I wasn
'
t the brooding
type.

"You
'
re gonna be sorry you switched dates with Green. Why the hell
did you trade anyway? You and Elle are friends; going out with her shouldn
'
t have been that
big of a deal."

I wanted to hit something, but didn
'
t want to take
my shit out on Bret. "I was trying to be nice." I turned, giving him
a threatening look, which only made him laugh again.

"Sorry, man," he said holding up his hands, but
continued to laugh, although now in spurts. "I
'
d say go for it,
but there
'
s no telling what you might pick up. She
'
s been with half
the team. I was glad Robbie made his move, saved me from having to stay with
her."

I sighed, he was right. What the hell was I thinking? Oh
yeah, I loved Elle and wanted her to choose me on her own terms.

Bret
'
s face perked up. "Hey, there
'
s a party
tonight at the house. Bring her to that, maybe she
'
ll sink her
claws into someone else?" He smiled.

"Best thing you
'
ve said, man."

So the plan seemed simple. I
'
d take Ginger
out to dinner, somewhere not too expensive, but not cheap, even though the idea
fit. Then we
'
d show up at the party. Perfect, I hoped.

Elle

I
'
d been bumming around all day, thinking. Last night was
great, wonderful, magical…but also, heartbreaking. No matter how nice being
with Eric was, my mind wouldn’t stop circling back to Tristan. Eric could tell
something was wrong. When he asked what was going on, I half told him the
truth.

I confessed that Tristan had kissed me in a desperate need
after he and Kellie had broken up. So, everything he
'
d done last
night had been his way of an apology. I left out the brief kiss in the
elevator. Eric remained quiet. When he finally did speak, he asked whom I
wanted. I blurted out the reasonable choice. “I want to be with you." That
had been the end of our talk.

I didn’t deserve his trust. I also didn't know what to do
about Tristan, but I didn
'
t want to end what Eric and I had either.

"So, you and Eric last night, huh." Alyssa walked in,
pulling my attention away from the book I'd been supposedly reading. She'd been
getting ready for the party tonight. I couldn't decide about going or not.

"Yeah it was nice." I'd read the same paragraph
about a million times and still didn
'
t know what the passage talked
about.