Distraction: The Distraction Trilogy #1 (32 page)

Fuck.

Fuck!

I wait for him to leave before doing the same, my mind burning with vicious thoughts of planting my fist straight through his fat fucking head. If anybody finds out this would shame the school. He’d lose his job, his wife, his kids… that’s if she doesn’t forgive him. Even if she did, what would he do then? He wouldn’t be able to teach elsewhere; he’d lose his license.

I can’t just sit back and let him do this to her.

I should talk to Shannon.

No… I should get a friend to talk to her.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

Eloise

It’s lunchtime so I head to Isaac’s classroom to pick up my History book.

I can’t wait to see him… not.

Yesterday was torture; it was so awkward. I couldn’t stop picturing him naked. I barely stopped myself from getting on my hands and knees and begging for him to come back to me.

I’ve been trying to stay strong. I’ve been trying to keep busy, but it hasn’t worked in keeping him from my mind.

I yelp when my arm is grabbed and I’m pulled into the classroom. I notice immediately how the blinds on the windows are closed.

“I need to talk to you,” Isaac says, his eyes frantic.

“Okay.” I wonder what has him so worked up. He doesn’t look as if he’s slept at all. “Are you keeping on top of your laundry?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I mean yes, but…”

“Seriously, you’re wearing odd socks.”

He grabs my shoulders, his pupils tiny, and for a second I think he’s high but then mentally laugh that off. Isaac doesn’t do drugs; he despises them as far as I’m aware. “Will you please listen to me?”

Okay, he’s serious. I need to focus. “What’s wrong?”

“Diplock.”

“My English teacher?”

“Yes.” He rolls his eyes before snapping them back to mine, his warm hands still gripping my shoulders. “He’s sleeping with Shannon.”

Oh. “Okay?” I’m not sure why he’s telling me. “And?”

“I need you to tell my dad.” He finally releases my shoulders and takes a step back as I gape at him.

“Me? Why the hell would I do that?”

“It’ll look better coming from you.”

I retract what I thought earlier about him despising drugs. I’m pretty sure he’s on them. “And how do you know they’re sleeping together?”

“I saw them in the storage closet when I was getting that book for you.” He winces. “Remind me to get you that later.”

“Isaac,” I whine, frowning deeply. “I need that. Your essay is due tomorrow.”

“I’ll dismiss it until Monday.”

“Really? Yay.”

He growls and flicks my chin. “Will you focus? Please?”

“I’m not getting involved. It’s none of my business.” I hold my hands up defensively when his face darkens with anger. “Well it isn’t! I’d be such a hypocrite.” My voice lowers. “What we were doing…”

“Is different.”

Eye roll. “How is it different exactly?”

“It just is!” I can see he’s getting frustrated with me, but I stand by what I’m saying.

“Nobody else will see it that way if they find out. Just leave it, Isaac.” I go to turn, but he grabs my bicep and keeps me facing him.

“I can’t do that. He’s taking advantage of her.”

Sigh. “Were you taking advantage of me?” He glares at my words, clearly resenting the fact I’d even ask, but I’m only trying to prove a point. “Exactly, so why would you think that about him? Isn’t he your friend or something?”

“He’s married.”

Yeah, it’s awful what he’s doing to his wife, but I still don’t see why I should get involved with this. “How many married men have affairs do you think? It’s horrible, I know, but it’s none of our fucking business. Just leave them be.”

“But he’s using her, Elle! Don’t you care about that?”

“I can’t prove that he’s using her any more than you can.”

“Please, just go and tell my dad. Speak to him; tell him Shannon confided in you. Maybe he’ll catch them in the act.”

“No.” I pull my arm free. “I’m not telling anyone anything.”

“You’re a coward.”

“Nope, I’m just giving them the same chance I hope somebody would have given to us. Besides, your dad can’t take this kind of pressure right now.”

He slams his hand on the table to my right, causing me to jump. “Fine, I’ll deal with it myself.”

“You do that and, when you march into that office and tell your Dad about Diplock, tell him about us too. Let’s see how he listens and feels.” I’m shouting now but I don’t care. I’m aggravated. “Because if you feel this way about Diplock, you must be feeling this way about what we had.”

“We were fucking different!”

“Right.” I roll my eyes again. “Of course we were. That’s why we had to sneak around and lie to everyone. I mean what did we do really other than watch movies, eat and have sex?”

“I wasn’t taking advantage of you.”

“Weren’t you? Are you sure? You seem to be thinking otherwise. Maybe your anger over the Diplock issue is misplaced anger that you really want to aim at yourself.” I prod him in the chest, forcing him back a step. “You don’t have a right to judge another teacher for doing what you did! I didn’t realise you looked at it like it was sordid and seedy.”

He runs his hand through his hair. “It’s not, Elle, and you know it.”

“I do? And why’s that? You’re both the same age. Shannon and I are the same age.”

His hands come back to my shoulders and my back hits the door. “You didn’t see the way he left that closet. He doesn’t love her and respect her like I do you. He’ll never love her and respect her the way I do with you. I know his type; he’ll get what he wants until he’s bored! She’ll go on in life with even bigger issues than she’s got now and you know she’s got issues. They aren’t in love. Is that what you want for her?”

We both freeze at his words. My mouth drops open and my body goes numb. I heard that correctly, right? He said he loves me.

“I’m done with this conversation.” His hands ball into fists and he rubs his eyes. “Go.”

“Wait…” I try, but he pulls the door open.

“It doesn’t change anything,” he snarls and, with a hand to my back, he gently pushes me through the doorway and slams it shut afterwards.

I look both ways down the hall. A handful of students look my way, but only because they heard the door slam.

I shift my bag up my shoulder and walk away, my lips still parted as I try to figure out whether or not I just dreamed all of that.

He said he loves me. Not loved, but loves, as in present tense. He still fucking loves me and always did.

I don’t know why this brings me so much joy. It shouldn’t because he’s right; it doesn’t change anything. It still makes me run to my next class with the biggest grin on my face. If they turn off the lights, I swear I’ll be glowing.

A man like Isaac doesn’t admit his love easily and he may have said it by accident, but he still said it. He still meant it.

The unattainable male loves me… ME! I should be happy dancing.

Unfortunately I have to work. I bloody hate Tuesdays. Or I did until today.

Tuesday will forever be the day I remember as the day he told me how he felt… by accident.

Isaac

That didn’t go as planned.

What do I do now?

I should just listen to her and leave it. There’s no point in stirring up something. The girl is eighteen; she can make her own decisions.

I honestly can’t believe I said love. I don’t love Eloise… I care about her a lot, but this isn’t love. I think. It’s close to it, but it’s not quite.

I don’t know how to handle any of this.

I sit with my mum and dad, hating how frail she looks as my dad helps her eat her dinner. She’s even worse than she was last week. Her hands are trembling so badly she can’t even hold a fork between her fingers.

“Thirsty?” I ask her and she gives me the blankest, glassy eyed look I’ve ever seen.

My dad helps her bring a glass to her lips and she gulps it down faster than I’ve ever seen her gulp down a drink before.

She keeps forgetting to eat, so we now have her on a schedule. She’s lost so much weight. She forgets that she’s hungry and tips her food away. The progression is quick, too quick.

Dad picks up her almost empty plate and kisses her head as he stands.

She turns to the TV with the remote in hand and flicks through the channels. Lately she hasn’t wanted to be around us. When she’s not having a bad moment, she’s quiet, down and definitely depressed. According to Susanna she doesn’t want us to visit.

I’m not wasting any more time staying away.

“What’s he doing in there?” Mum hisses after a minute.

“He’s washing the dishes.”

Mum’s eyes shift to the doorway and narrow. “What are you doing in there?”

“Washing the dishes.” My dad walks back through with suds up to his elbows.

Mum looks away, her face a mask of suspicion and distrust. Sighing, my dad returns to the kitchen.

I take the remote from Mum, winking at her when she tries to take it back.

“Pain in the arse.”

I only laugh and pick a movie as she sulks. Dad would tell me off, but I honestly don’t think that smothering her and treating her like a spoilt child will make her last ounce of time with us any better.

I think what she needs is normality and me taking the remote is normality. It’s what I do.

I sat on the couch beside Elle, who held a large bowl of cinnamon flavoured cereal on her lap. She spooned a mouthful, her eyes on some reality show on the TV.

There was no way in hell I was watching that shit. She seemed glued to the TV so I didn’t think she’d notice me lean around her for the remote. I was wrong. The second my fingertips touched the plastic, I felt the metal curve of the spoon against my knuckles.

“Fuck! Ouch! What the hell?” She returned to eating, not even removing her eyes from the TV. “That hurt.” Again she didn’t acknowledge me.

I tried again a couple of times, getting the same result, before standing and walking to the fridge.

“Thirsty?” I asked, hearing her crunch her food.

“No.”

“No thank you,” I corrected, but again I got no response.

I snuck behind her, crouching low, feeling like the guy out of Mission Impossible.

I thought for sure she couldn’t hear me.

And again I was wrong. This time the spoon hit me on the head. “You’re not having it.”

Ouch. I rubbed the sore spot on my scalp and moved back to my seat. It was pointless. She was too quick.

So I stole her cereal and the spoon.

I think back to that moment and remember I didn’t actually want to change the channel. I just wanted her attention and I got it. The second I stole her cereal, she started shouting at me, telling me to get my own before she went to make herself another bowl.

I laughed the entire time.

Maybe I do love her.

I remember at that point in time having a warm feeling in my chest as she chastised me and stropped in the kitchen, slamming doors and angrily searching through the drawer for another spoon.

I guarded myself and shifted away just in case she decided to try and beat me again. It was strange because it hurt like hell but it was too cute for me to try and stop.

We made love that night.

I remember touching her slowly, admiring her body, kissing every inch of her. I remember lying back and letting her do the same.

Her sighs, whimpers and moans still float through my mind, the way she’d fall completely silent when in the middle of an orgasm.

Mum snatches the remote back, jolting me from my thoughts. It’s strange what random things trigger random memories.

I wonder if it’s like this between Diplock and Shannon. I wonder what I would do if I were married at this point. I’d like to think I’d be faithful and be able to resist Eloise’s charms and spirit, but I can’t imagine ever feeling so strongly for anyone else. I think if I were married my feelings towards Eloise would shadow every other feeling I ever had for my life partner.

She’s the worst kind of distraction and I’m not even sure she knows it.

That makes me sad, knowing I’ll never love on a level that will ever make another woman happy and I’m not sure why I’ve fallen this way for one of my students. It seems so unfair that I’m going to be plagued with knowing that I can’t have her, even though I want her so badly.

“What’s wrong?” My mum asks, seeming to snap back to normal all of a sudden.

I shake my head and bring her hand to my lips. “Nothing. I’m perfectly fine.”

If only I could talk to her about it.