Diva (23 page)

Amanda ever had any dreams
? I wonder if Mom did.

Opera_Grrrl's Online Journal

Subject: Dreams

Date: December 12

Time: 9:13 a.m.

Music: "O Mio Babbino Caro" ("Oh, My Beloved Daddy")(Have you noticed that there are never any

*mothers* in opera?)

Weight: 114 lbs.

When my mom was young, she wanted 2 be a fashion designer. She was going 2 regular college, but then

she got a scholarship offer at a big design school in NYC. She was going to transfer her sophomore year.

She wanted to go to Paris too.

Then she met my dad @ a frat party. They fell in love

("As in love as you can get at a frat party…which apparently isn't very," she said). She got pregnant and dropped out of college to get married. I already know the rest of the story.

Anyway, we talked abt. that & then we started talking abt. my dreams, abt. how I want to be a singer. And

now that she understands that I really *do* have talent, that I have a shot @ it, she's actually being nice

abt. it. "I just hope you don't get your heart broken like mine. They say there's a broken heart for every light on Broadway. Or wherever they sing opera."

But I told her my heart might break if I *don't* at least try. And she seemed to get that. We talked abt. the

opera program in New York, and once she found out it wouldn't cost a lot of $$, she said I can send an

audition tape. And I can go, if I get in! And I think she actually *wants* me to get in!

And I think I will!!! Can you believe it???

I sit by Sean and Gigi at lunch. "We've been talking about the cast party, which was pretty wild.

(Highlight: Rex declared his love for me and said he'd even learn to sing opera if 1 wanted him to. He's

been learning "Caro Mio Ben.") I'm eating a salad with chicken on it, and Gigi hasn't found it necessary to comment on that.

"I was hoping you could help me out with something," I tell them.

"I'm all ears," Sean says.

I tell them about the summer program. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to go, but now I think I do." I look at Sean. "I know you're super-busy getting ready for college auditions, but I was hoping maybe you could

help me practice."

Gigi has her leg in a cast. She told me it was a good thing because it kept her from kicking Misty's butt for

trying to get her solo. "That sounds incredible," she says. "Of course you have to

"I'll miss the choral camp," I say. "And I wish I could be with you guys."

"We'll be here in the fall," she says. "If I had an opportunity like this, I'd drop you so fast…"

I laugh. "At least you're honest."

And I realize that yeah. She really is. That's the thing about having real friends like Gigi and Sean. You

feel like you can tell them the truth about stuff in your life, and they won't rag on you or try and use it

against you, or try to talk you out of it because it doesn't fit with what they want. If I'd never come to this school, I wouldn't have ever had that.

Sean says, "The program sounds incredible"

"If I don't get in, I'll go to choral camp with you guys."

"You'll get in," Sean says. With a coach like me, you'll nail your auditions."

I grin at him. The lunchtime conga line is snaking around the cafeteria again. Gus, at its head, yells, "Hey, Diva! Nice job in Drama today."

Misty hits him on the shoulder, but he makes the line swirl around our table and comes back. "Are you

ever going to join us?" he asks me. "Conga-ing, I mean?"

"I don't… I…"

"
Anyone
can conga. It's just…" Gus mimes an exaggerated maraca shake as he dances away.

I look at Sean and Gigi. "How about it?"

Sean shrugs. "Why not?"

Gigi says, "I think my orthopedist would have some big reasons why not for me. But you two go."

I stand and hold out my hand to Sean. "Shall we?" He takes it, and we run to catch up with the conga line.

Lots of girls I know like to say they're divas. "I'm such a diva!" they say, while they're rubbing your nose in some five-hundred-dollar shoes their daddy bought them, or whatever. But a diva's a lot more than most

sixteen-year-old rich grrrls can comprehend. I plan to be a diva someday—the real kind who sings and

gets flowers thrown onstage. But first, I have to make the perfect audition tape.

So I do.

Opera_Grrrl's Online Journal

Subject: Summer Opera Program in New York—Accepted!

Date: April 10

Time: 2:13 p.m.

Listening to: "Brindisi" from La Traviata

Feeling: Ecstatic

Weight: 115 lbs.

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I! I! I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!l!!