Divided: Brides of the Kindred 10 (17 page)

“He’s just got a lot of issues to work
out—you heard what he said,” Becca protested. “His father—
your
father—”

Far raked a hand through his long hair.

“I never should have brought him up. All
this time I’ve been so jealous, thinking that at least Truth got one true
parent to guide and guard and love him. I had no idea…”

“How could you?” Becca said softly. “How
could anyone? But it certainly explains a lot.”

“Such as why he wants nothing to do with
Twin Kindred culture and doesn’t wish to be near another male? Yes, of course.”
Far laughed bitterly. “You know, I thought it was simply that he was a product
of Rai’ku society. And now this…he’ll never come to me now.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Becca said, although
privately she was beginning to wonder if anything could heal the rift between
the brothers. “The two of you were beginning to get so close back, uh…” She
felt her cheeks heating. “Back before we had that vision, I mean.”

Far stopped and turned to her. “You mean
when you were allowing us to share you. Yes, I
did
think we were getting
close. Of course, that was before I pushed him too hard and made him admit that
our father was actually some kind of a…a
monster.”

“There’s no excuse for what he did to
Truth,” Becca said. “But he was probably traumatized. I didn’t even know that
Twin Kindred could survive the death of their twin.”

“They usually can’t,” Far said soberly.
“And even when the body survives, the mind is not always intact.”

“That’s probably part of what happened,
then,” Becca said. “But even if the grief of losing your mother and his brother
didn’t
make him crazy, that kind of loss changes people. It…it
breaks
something inside them.”

“You sound like you speak from
experience,” Far said softly. “Did you lose someone in the past,
mi’now?”

Becca shook her head and looked away.

“No one I want to talk about.”

“All right.” He cupped her cheek, turning
her face up to his. “I want to thank you for giving of yourself tonight. And
for helping me save Truth, though he wants nothing to do with me now.”

“Give him time,” Becca said again. “And
some space.”

Far shook his head sadly. “I will give him
both but it won’t do any good. I pushed too hard and now I’ve lost him. Lost
any chance I ever had with him forever.”

Becca felt a lump form in her throat at
the desolate look in his dark eyes.

“Oh, Far, honey,” she whispered but he
simply sighed and took her hand.

“Come. This part of the ship looks clear of
dust but let me take you to your suite to be sure you’re safe.”

“I’m
the one who’s supposed to be protecting
you
from
the dust, remember?” Becca reminded him.

A ghostly smile curved one corner of the
light twin’s sensual mouth.

“Indeed. But the dust is not the only
thing to worry about.” He looked suddenly serious. “I also wonder if Commander
Sylvan managed to contain all the possessed warriors behind the shield barrier
he erected around the Unmated Males area.”

Becca shivered and looked around the empty
corridor.

“I don’t
see
anyone with glowing
red eyes roaming around.”

“That’s the thing—you probably wouldn’t
see them until it was too late,” Far said. He took her hand and laced their
fingers together. “Come, let’s get safely back to our suites and we can worry
about everything else tomorrow.”

Chapter
Eighteen

Truth tossed on the sleeping platform but
sleep wouldn’t come. Instead he kept seeing the hurt look on Far’s face, the
desolation and rejection that he, Truth had put there.

He deserves it! He’s the one who spied on
me—the one who tried to seduce me into a life of perversion. The one who made
me admit what our rather was… what he did…

But he couldn’t finish the thought, even
to himself. How many years had he spent pushing down those memories? Pretending
they never happened? Feels Pain hadn’t struck him since he was fifteen cycles
old and had gotten his full growth. Not because Truth was getting too big to
beat, but because that was when his body began to shut down from years of
alcohol poisoning. He had lingered a few more years in a half-life of pain and
misery and then, finally, mercifully, had passed.

In the end, Truth had felt nothing but
relief.

Feels Pain had finally gotten what he
wanted—death. Kindred were incredibly tough and hard to kill but his father’s
constant drinking had been nothing less than slow, systematic suicide. Truth
had only wished it could have happened sooner. In fact, he had prayed for his
father’s death for years—a fact that haunted him.

Yet despite the beatings and the distance
between them, he had loved his father desperately. He could still remember
looking up to the tall male and feeling pride in his father’s strength. Wanting
to be like him. And then there were the rare gestures of affection—the few
times when Feels Pain had ruffled his hair when he thought no one was looking.
Once he had even put a hand on Truth’s shoulder and squeezed. It was an unheard
of gesture among the Rai’ku— Truth had replayed in his mind over and over.

He had desperately craved his father’s approval,
the touch of the big male’s hand, a few words of praise and once in a very
great while he got them. But mostly there was only terror in the dark. Hearing
the front door open with a thunk and close with a slam, wondering how much his
father had been drinking, praying to the Goddess that the big male wouldn’t
come tramping up the steps of their treetop lodge with that sour-sweet smell on
his breath, his huge hands clenched into fists and rage in his eyes…

Stop thinking these things! They serve no
purpose!

Truth tossed angrily again, punching his
pillow until a fine cloud of the soft stuffing inside it came spraying out. He
wished he could punch the bad memories out of his head as easily.

Giving up his abortive efforts to sleep,
he called for the lights, got up and sat on the edge of the sleeping platform.
So much had happened tonight and yet all he could seem to think about was his
father. Even though he had been dead for years, Feels Pain was always with him,
whether Truth wanted him to be or not.

What would he think of you if he could see
you now?
a mocking little voice in the back of his
head hissed.
Would he be proud to see how you’ve been acting? Betraying the
customs of your people and allowing yourself to be tempted by perversion?

No.
Truth wished he could push the voice out of his head but
it wouldn’t go. He knew exactly what Feels Pain would think if he could see
Truth now. He would think what a disappointment his one pure blooded Kindred
son was.

He would be shamed by you—by your actions.
By your desires,
whispered the little
voice.

Truth knew it was true. There was no
escaping it. No burying it. Feels Pain had embraced the Rai’ku ways and trained
Truth to do the same. The few times he’d broken with them, Truth had always
paid the price later. If his father ruffled his hair in the morning, he would
be certain to come home drunk and angry to beat him that night.

And I’m still paying the price now,
Truth thought angrily.
If I hadn’t allowed Far to get
close, to get under my skin, I wouldn’t be thinking of Feels Pain now. I would
be sleeping soundly, these thoughts and memories still buried where they
belong. Well, no more!

Rising quickly, he walked across the room
to the full length viewer against the wall. In its silvery, reflective surface
he stared at himself. He saw a male with a haggard face and haunted eyes. A
male whose unquiet past and uncertain future tormented him.
The future
doesn’t have to be uncertain,
the little voice whispered.
You know what
to do.

Indeed he did. Truth looked intently into
the viewer and made himself a promise.

“It won’t happen again. I won’t touch Far
or let him touch me and I will not allow him to entice me into sharing Rebecca
no matter how good it feels. I will remain true to the ways of the Rai’ku.”

He went back to bed and lay there,
sleepless, until morning.

Chapter
Nineteen

“The ship is secure—for now.” Commander
Sylvan ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. It was still early and Becca
knew he had been up all night in an emergency meeting with the rest of the
Kindred High Council. Still, he had been willing to make time for them when
they asked. The Council members were taking a short recess and she and Far had
begged to speak to him regarding their vision of the night before. They were
sitting in the small antechamber beside the Council room and Sylvan was
listening patiently though his pale blue eyes looked beyond tired.

“What happened to the dust?” she asked. “I
haven’t seen any of it floating around.”

“The shadow dust has been eliminated,”
Sylvan assured her. “I ordered the air cyclers working at double capacity so it
never reached further than a few corridors down from the Unmated Males area,
thank the Goddess. As for all unmated males who were affected by it—”

“Possessed, you mean,” Far said.

Sylvan nodded heavily. “Yes. Possessed.
Anyway, they have all been confined to the Unmated Males area.”

“Well that’s good news, right?” Becca
asked hesitantly.

“It is. Although I don’t know how long it
will be good. The Unmated Males who have been possessed cannot be kept confined
forever. They are restless—already there have been several attempts to break
down the shield barrier. There are many of them and they are strong—I don’t
know how long it will hold.”

Becca put a hand to her throat.

“And if it breaks…”

“If it breaks you’ll have a hoard of demon
possessed warriors determined to kill, rape, maim, murder and take over the
ship,” Far said flatly.

Sylvan nodded. “Unfortunately, you’re
right.”

“What happened to Kor?” Becca asked. “Did
he…make it?”

Sylvan rubbed a hand over his face. “It
was touch and go for a while but yes, we managed to save him. He’s lost a lot
of blood but he’s resting in the Med Center.”

“Oh good!” Becca breathed a sigh of
relief. “I was so worried for Maggie. If something had happened to him…”

“He was very lucky,” Far said.

Sylvan nodded agreement.

“So what can you tell me—you said you
might have a way to help?”

“This may sound strange,” Becca said
hesitantly. “And it involves another vision…”

“Please, continue.” Sylvan looked at her
intently. “It is because of your previous vision that the entire ship isn’t
completely overrun. If we hadn’t put the shield barrier in place, the Mother
Ship would be in a state of civil war right now and we would have a lot more casualties.”

“How many did you have?” Far asked.

Sylvan looked sober. “Only fourteen. Three
mated males who were guarding the area and ten of the unmated who had been
possessed.”

Becca frowned. “You said fourteen. That’s
only thirteen.”

“The last one sustained serious head
trauma and is in a coma.”

“Did he have a family?” Far asked quietly.

“Sadly, no but it’s still a grave loss.
He’s Head Council member Terex—the Council is unbalanced without him and we
don’t know if he’ll wake up or not.” Sylvan shook his head. “And yet, it could
have been so much worse. Considering what you’ve done for us, the rest of the
Council is prepared to entertain any idea the three of you have.” He frowned.
“Speaking of which, where’s Truth?”

Far looked uncomfortable.

“We’re not sure if he’s coming or not. We
extended the invitation to this meeting…”

“But he wasn’t very receptive to it,”
Becca finished. Actually, he had slammed his door in their faces—as much as the
automatic
whooshing
doors on the Mother Ship could be slammed, anyway.
She still hoped that the dark twin might have a change of heart and show up,
though. After all, they needed him if they were going to go to Orthanx and try
to find Vashtar.

Sylvan shook his head. “But I thought
Truth—”

“I’m here.” As though he’d heard his name,
Truth appeared in the doorway of the small antechamber. He had the haggard look
of a man who’d been up all night but despite his obvious weariness, his gray
eyes were sharp, focused and very,
very
cold.

“Ah, Truth. Good, I’m glad you’re all
here.” Sylvan steepled his fingers on the small desk in front of him. “Now,
tell me about this vision.”

It only took a few moments to explain.
When they were done, Sylvan nodded.

“And you say this was a true vision, like
the last one?”

“I felt the veracity of it,” Truth
confirmed. “This male—this Vashtar—said the people of his world had fought
against the denizens of the Black Planet and won. They should be able to teach
us to do the same.”

“But he wouldn’t speak about it in detail
because he thought that U—that the demon who tried to take over Truth might
still be around,” Becca said.

Sylvan frowned. “What? What happened,
Truth?”

The dark twin shrugged uneasily. “It tried
to take me over and failed.”

“But why?” Sylvan asked. “Why were you successful
in casting it out and no one else was able? In fact…” He frowned. “Why is every
other unmated male on the ship possessed but you and Far?”

“I claimed Far and then we helped Truth
fight off the demon together,” Becca said. “We claimed him and we cast it out.
But it said it would go someplace else and wait.” She shivered. “It was
probably smart of Vashtar not to talk to us here.”

“You were fortunate, Truth, to have a
close enough bond to Far and Becca that they were able to help you regain
control,” Sylvan said soberly.

Truth scowled. “Yes, I was fortunate they
were there. But there is no bond between us.”

“None you’ll acknowledge, anyway,” Far
murmured bitterly.

“Enough bickering,” Sylvan said sternly
before they could get started. “So the three of you wish to go to this rogue
planet—this Orthanx—and see if you can bring back a cure?”

Becca nodded hesitantly. “If the Council
thinks it’s wise.”

“A fourth of our males are inhabited by
hostile spirits—they’ll try anything at this point,” Sylvan said. “So yes,
you’ll be granted permission to go and given a ship and provisions. All I ask
is that you try to hurry—as I said earlier, I’m not sure how long we can keep
the possessed males contained.”

Truth nodded. “Agreed.”

“Good.” Sylvan rose from behind the small
desk. “Then go get ready. I’ll speak to the Council but I’m sure they’ll want
you to leave immediately.”

He turned and went back into the Council
room. The connecting door slid shut with a
whoosh
behind him, leaving
the three of them together in a space which suddenly seemed much too small.

“So, Truth…” Becca said tentatively,
turning to face the dark twin. “I’m glad you decided to come after all. To the
meeting. And to Orthanx, too, of course.”

He frowned. “I’m a male of honor. I couldn’t
allow my Kindred brethren to remain possessed when there is something I might
be able to do to free them.”

“That’s very noble of you, Brother,” Far
said, frowning. “But don’t forget Becca and I will be there too.”

“I haven’t forgotten. Your presence is a
necessary evil,” Truth said coolly. “And I’m more than willing to go to Orthanx
and do this as long as we have some rules.”

“Rules?” Becca didn’t like the sound of
that. “
What
rules?”

Truth ticked them off on his fingers.

“There is to be no more talk of bonding.
Also, no more invitations to “share” in any way. And I will not be touching
either of you—especially Far.” He glared at his twin. “Not only that but I
expect my brother to keep his distance from me as well.”

Far shook his head sadly. “Really,
Brother?
These
are your rules? That we go back to the beginning, go back
to acting as though a casual touch might burn us?”

Truth’s eyes narrowed. “This is the only
way I’ll go to Orthanx with you. Oh, and I almost forgot—no more talk about the
past. We dug enough of it up last night. I have no wish to discuss it further.”

“We can understand that,” Becca said
quietly. “Far and I are really sorry if we hurt you.”

“You didn’t inflict the pain in the first
place,” Truth said shortly. “All I ask now is that you restrain yourself from
poking it with a sharp stick. I would rather…” He cleared his throat. “Rather
forget it. And I would prefer for the two of you to forget I ever spoke of it
as well.”

“We will not speak of it,” Far said
quietly. “But, Brother, some things cannot be forgotten.”

“Or forgiven,” Truth snapped back
pointedly. “Enough of this,
Brother
, we’d all better go and pack.” He
looked at Becca. “Bring your warmest clothes. You can’t count on being able to
huddle between Far and myself to keep from freezing.”

“I…” Becca was taken aback by his level of
antipathy. “Truth, really, I said we were sorry. Do you have to be so…so
mean
about it?”

Truth gave her a cold look. “Apologies,
Rebecca. I’m not trying to be “mean,” I’m simply acting as I should have in the
first place—as a Rai’ku. I may have Kindred blood, but the heritage of my home
world is the one I wish to uphold.”

“Then why come at all?” Far demanded. “Why
all this talk about saving your “Kindred brethren” if you want nothing to do
with us?”

“Because I am not a monster,” Truth shot
back. “We three are the only ones who can do this. If there was anyone else who
could bring back the cure, I would let them. I would leave this moment and go
back to Pax and never see either of you again. But as it is, we’re stuck with
each other—at least for now.”

He left the small room without looking
back.

Becca let out a sigh.

“Wow. Guess he’s still upset.”

“I told you he wouldn’t come around,” Far
said bleakly. “Well, I suppose we’re lucky he’s willing to come with us at
all.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Gods, this trip is going to be hell.”

Becca was very much afraid he was right
but what could they do? Clearly Truth wasn’t prepared to forgive the emotional
intrusion of the night before, but they couldn’t just leave him behind—they
needed him. Vashtar had been very specific—the three of them were going to have
to work together even if Truth hated their guts.

“Well,” she said reluctantly. “I guess I’d
better go pack. Sounds like I might have to borrow some cold weather things
from some of the other girls. I never did get around to bringing my winter
clothes up to the Mother Ship.”

“You’ll probably be wearing protective
gear for most of the trip. A rogue planet has no atmosphere because it gets
stripped away when the planet is flung out of orbit.” Far looked thoughtful.
“Still, it might be wise to bring some warm clothes. Clearly the inhabitants
have some means of staying alive—maybe they have an atmosphere dome.”

“Would that keep us warm?” Becca asked.

“Warm enough to survive, maybe, but it
still might be uncomfortably cold. It takes a lot of power to heat a dome and
the citizens of Orthanx have been without an atmosphere for millennia. If I had
to bet, I’d guess that whatever controlled environment they’re living in is on
auxiliary power by now and putting out the bare minimum of heat and light.”

Becca nodded. “Okay, like I said, I’ll be
sure to bring something warm.”

Far nodded shortly. “That’s probably wise.
But don’t be too long—Sylvan is speaking to the Council even now. They’ll
probably want us gone within the hour.”

“See you soon, then,” Becca said and
hurried off. Who could she borrow some winter clothes from? Liv and Sophia were
out—they were too thin. Becca’s wide hips and full behind would never fit into
their skinny clothes…

Of course! I know just who to see…
and maybe she can give me some advice too.

Becca hoped, anyway.

* * * * *

“So you’re asking if I have any warm
weather clothes?” Kat asked. “Why me?”

“Because we’re almost the same size. Well,
in the hips anyway,” Becca said.

Kat snorted. “Yeah, you’re not nearly as
big up top as me. Lucky for you, you don’t need to borrow my ‘over the shoulder
boulder holder,’ as Liv calls my bra.”

Becca smiled. “I guess you’re right—not
that I’d try to borrow a bra anyway. Unless you have a fur lined one?”

“Hmm, that would be really sexy.” Kat
smiled. “I
don’t
have one but I might want to make one.”

“Oh, do you sew?” Becca asked with
interest.

“Nope. Who needs a sewing machine when
you’ve got a
clothing pattern replicator?”

“A what?”

“This. Look.” Kat led her to a strange
looking machine in the corner of her living area. It had a screen on one end
and a wide slot with a tray at the other. “See…” Kat was rapidly typing
something into the touch screen. “It has connections to the Earth and Kindred
Internet. Anything you can think of you just type in the search engine. When
you find what you want, you input your measurements and hit the replicate
button.” She pressed a button and the machine began to hum. A moment later
something popped out of the slot at the other end of the machine and landed in
the tray. “Go on,” she nodded at Becca. “Pick it up.”