Divided Loyalties (31 page)

‘But I was only trying to do my best for him,’ he said aloud as he washed his dishes, angry with himself and Mrs O’Neill that he was having to justify the upbringing he had
given his child. He’d tried to set his son on the right path, as any good father would. Why should he be judged harshly for that?

Because
you
judged harshly
. The thought hit him like a thunderbolt. He stared out at the garden. The damson trees, Anna’s pride and joy, were a riot of snowy blossoms
bursting gloriously from their branches. A bright yellow gorse raised its flowers to the deep blue sky. A pink camellia was poised to bloom, its tight buds straining to be free. Such a place of
beauty, the garden he and his late wife had created, he mused. Bobby had often helped his mother in it when he was young. He and she would talk away and he’d see her laughing at something her
son had said and be jealous. His heart contracted. He had been jealous of the bond Anna and Bobby had. She’d always been so protective of her son, and he had accused her of mollycoddling
him.

Was it jealousy that had made him say those things?

He shook his head at the notion. That was ridiculous. It was abhorrence at the thought of his son physically loving another man. The thought repulsed him. It was unnatural. And how shocking that
one of
his
offspring would have such a perverted inclination. It must have come from Anna’s side of the family. There was
nothing
like that in
his
family, he
thought angrily.

A flicker of remorse shot through him. What a thing to blame on his poor dead wife.

‘I’m sorry, my dear,’ he murmured, ashamed.

Was he a harsh and judgemental person? He had always thought that he was a good, decent, upright man who took his duties as a husband and father seriously. But listening to Mrs O’Neill
today when she’d talked about God and compassion had made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe he could have been more compassionate in his life, he thought guiltily.

Why had she brought up all those subjects? Why couldn’t she just leave him be? Why did he have to think about these dreadful things now when he just wanted a bit of peace? He made himself
a cup of tea and went into the sitting room and sat down by the fire. There was still a little nip in the wind and he’d lit the fire to take the chill off the room. The flames flickered
comfortingly and Twiskers jumped up onto his lap. He stroked her head and felt a measure of comfort when he heard the deep purr roll from the back of her throat. At least he made someone happy even
if it was only the cat, he thought sorrowfully as memories of the harsh words that both Shauna and Bobby had flung at him over the years came back to haunt him. After a while, weary of his turmoil,
he closed his eyes. His chin drooped onto his chest and he slept.

‘Dad sounded as though he has a cold on him,’ Carrie turned her head and squinted at her sister as the afternoon sun sparkled on the jade waters of the Gulf. Dan
was swimming with the children and Carrie and Shauna lay on emerald green loungers under coconut straw umbrellas, sipping ice-cold Pimms.

‘He didn’t go on about it the way he usually would. You know if Dad gets a sniffle he’s usually convinced he’s getting pneumonia,’ Shauna remarked lazily, smoothing
more suncream onto her golden limbs.

‘I think he was making the effort to let on that he was all right. He’s mellowed a little. He’s not as bad as he used to be at all. I think the kids have a lot to do with it.
He’s mad about them.’ Carrie stretched luxuriously.

‘Pity he wasn’t like that when we were young,’ Shauna retorted.

‘What’s wrong with you? You’re not in great form.’ Carrie eyed her knowingly. ‘You and Greg are having a row, aren’t you?’

‘No we’re not,’ Shauna retorted hotly.

‘Look, the two of you are being so extra polite to each other in front of us, it’s excruciating. I know something’s up. What’s wrong? You might as well tell me while we
have a few minutes to ourselves.’ Carrie leaned on her elbow and looked over at her.

‘I had a go at him about not spending more time with Chloe and me, the way Dan spends time with you and the kids. Of course he went ballistic and flew off the handle and said some very
hurtful things. He’s a bollox,’ Shauna said sulkily.

‘He works hard for you, Shauna,’ Carrie said gently.

‘Dan works hard for you, too, and he spends time with you. Look at him out there with the kids.’

They raised themselves up on their elbows and saw Dan surrounded by a horde of squealing children splashing and jumping around. Behind him, bright orange buoys undulated on top of the water
where the shark nets lay strung across the bay.

‘Don’t forget, Dan’s on holiday,’ Carrie pointed out.

‘Greg comes home to us for three weeks in the summer and he still doesn’t have time for us, he’s so busy sorting out his property portfolio.’ Shauna dismissed that
argument out of hand. ‘You’re a family, Carrie, a tightly knit unit. Sometimes I just feel I’m a trophy that Greg can deck out in jewels and designer clothes to show off to his
colleagues. And as for Chloe, he couldn’t be happier that we have Filomena to look after her. It means he can abdicate all his parental responsibilities. He thinks he’s the perfect
father and husband by simply providing for us financially. He can’t understand why I get pissed off. It’s not what I imagined our life would be,’ she ended glumly.

‘Come on now, Shauna, don’t tell me you’d be happy in a three-bedroom semi-detached with a nine to five husband like most ordinary mortals,’ Carrie mocked. ‘That
was never you and never will be.’

‘OK, well, not quite that, but I can’t help envying you and Dan. You’re so close and you have such fun together.’

‘We have our ups and downs too. Don’t forget I’m competing with bloody glasshouses.’ Carrie lay back against her cushions enjoying the feeling of lethargy that was
spreading through her.

‘But you still
like
each other,’ Shauna muttered. ‘I don’t think I like Greg any more.’

‘Don’t say that,’ Carrie protested. ‘You only feel that now because you had a row. It will blow over.’

‘Do you think I should try for another baby?’

‘Do you want the truth?’ Carrie sat up and swung her legs onto the sand so that she was facing her sister.

‘Oh, OK, then.’ Shauna eyed her warily, knowing that her sister wasn’t going to pull her punches.

‘If you think having another baby will change Greg, it won’t,’ Carrie said bluntly, ‘especially as he’s been putting it off for so long. If he was any different
with a new baby from how he is with Chloe it would be a big surprise. I think if you’re going to have another baby you’re on your own, more or less, and that’s being honest,
Shauna. I don’t think his heart’s in it and you have to be realistic.’

‘I know, but I really do want a brother or sister for Chloe.’

‘Have one, but just be sure you’re not going into it with false expectations. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m wronging the chap.’ Carrie shrugged and took a long sip of
her drink.

‘Do you think I’m a bitch? Do you think I’m being disloyal saying these things to you?’ Shauna pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and stared at her sister.

‘Don’t be silly, it’s
me
you’re talking to. That’s what sisters are for.’

‘I know, and I really appreciate having you to talk to. That’s why I want someone for Chloe. I’d hate her to be on her own.’

‘She does have my gang, don’t forget,’ Carrie assured her. ‘And Greg
has
been a kind and generous husband.’

‘I know. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m starting my midlife crisis.’

‘Give over. I haven’t had mine yet and I’m older than you are,’ Carrie teased. ‘Now order me another drink, I’m on my holliers!’

‘Greg, can we make up before you go to Dubai with Dan and Davey tomorrow? It’s really stressful having a row when visitors are here and Carrie has copped it.’
Shauna turned to her husband, who had just got into bed.

‘Well you started it, Shauna,’ he retorted. ‘And you made me feel really bad. I felt totally unappreciated. I felt nothing I do for you matters. I’m not working my ass
off just for me, you know,’ he added plaintively.

‘I know,’ she muttered. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I do appreciate how hard you work for us. I’d just like us to spend a little
more time together.’

‘We will, I promise,’ Greg said placatingly, relieved the coolness was over and that his wife had made the first move. ‘This summer will be our best ever,’ he assured
her. ‘We could spend a few days in Paris on the way back after the holidays, if you like.’

‘Don’t forget Chloe will be starting school,’ she reminded him.

‘Damn, forgot that. Nix Paris,’ he said grumpily.

‘I know what we could do!’ she exclaimed eagerly. ‘I’m sure Carrie would mind Chloe for a few days and I could fly to meet you there on your way home in August. We could
have a romantic few days.’ Her eyes sparkled at the idea. She’d be off the Pill and wouldn’t it be wonderful to conceive a baby in Paris? Not that she’d mention it to her
husband right now. She didn’t want him getting into a bad humour again.

‘
Brilliant
idea,’ Greg approved, bending down to kiss her soundly. ‘A romantic holiday in Paris is just what we need.’

Shauna read the email and smiled. It had been sent hours earlier. Excellent. Things were going as planned and she liked being on top of things.

‘Carrie,’ she called to her sister who was ironing on the balcony.

‘Yep?’

‘Filomena will do that when she gets back from the park.’

‘She has enough to be doing, and anyway I’m finished now.’ Carrie unplugged the iron and stepped into the lounge. It was uncomfortably warm and she was perspiring. She
couldn’t understand how her sister remained so unaffected by the heat. They had three days left of their holidays and although she’d had a ball she was looking forward to a walk along
the beach at home in a bracing breeze. ‘I’m going into my bedroom to read my book until the kids get back,’ she announced.

‘It’s like the Arctic in there,’ grumbled Shauna. Dan had taken Hannah for a walk in her buggy along the breakwater. Jenna had invited Chloe, Olivia and Davey over to her
apartment and the sisters were enjoying a few hours together. ‘So will you come to the airport with me while I pick up our guest? It’s a pain in the ass that Gabrielle Reed can’t
pick her up. Honestly, if you invite a guest to give a talk to your Emirates Historical Society you pick them up yourself.’ Shauna threw her eyes up to heaven. ‘Her and her bloody
migraines.’

‘Don’t be so unsympathetic,’ Carrie rebuked. ‘Would she do it for you if the positions were reversed?’

‘That old warthog? You must be joking,’ Shauna scoffed.

‘Well then, why are you doing it?’

‘Because Linda Faradi is the vice president of the society and she was supposed to do it but one of her kids has a bug and she doesn’t want to spread it around. So she asked
me.’

‘Well at least your car is air-conditioned. What time have you to go at?’ Carrie poured herself a glass of fresh orange juice.

‘About six. We’ll be home by half seven and Greg has booked a table in a Mexican restaurant which is fairly laid back and the kids will like it as well. Is that OK?’

‘Fine,’ Carrie assured her. ‘I’ve put on a half a stone since I came out here. I’ve never been to so many restaurants. My waistbands are getting tight.’

‘A week at home and it will be gone,’ Shauna assured her. ‘What are you reading?’

‘The new Michael Palin, I love him.’

‘Go and make the most of it. I’ve to make a few calls about the art group’s annual dinner.’

‘Don’t you ever get fed up of all the socializing?’ Carrie perched on a stool at the breakfast counter, enjoying the couple of hours alone with Shauna.

‘If you didn’t socialize here you’d go mad,’ Shauna said dryly. ‘It takes your mind off how far away from home you are and how much of an outsider you are in such a
different culture. It gives you a false sense of security, if you like. Every expat is in the same boat. It’s our common denominator.’

‘I suppose so. I just wouldn’t have the energy for it. Or the wardrobe,’ Carrie joked.

‘Della loved it.’ Shauna made a face. ‘I wonder does that mean we’re alike?’

‘Wash your mouth out with soap.’ Carrie grinned. ‘She’s unique and I don’t mean that as a compliment. I don’t know how she and Greg can be so different.
He’s very hospitable and not at all mean. And she’s such a tightwad.’

‘She takes after their mother. You’ve met Joanna; you’ve seen how odd she is. She rarely sees him or Della. Greg is more like his father, I think. It was such a pity he died
when Greg was in his teens. Joanna’s a very self-centred woman. She does her own thing and to hell with anyone else. No wonder Della turned out the way she did.’

‘Thank God my in-laws are not only normal, but nice too.’ Carrie yawned. ‘Right, see you in an hour or so.’

‘Enjoy it.’ Shauna followed her to the bedroom. Carrie flung herself down on the big bed.

‘This is such a luxury,’ she purred. ‘The only time I get the chance to read at home is when I get into bed at night, and I usually fall asleep after a few pages.’

‘Well make the most of it then. Would you like a mango smoothie?’

‘Oooh, I’d love one. The mangoes here are
gorgeous
!’

‘Coming up.’ Shauna smiled, enjoying the fact that Carrie was totally relaxing on her holiday. Her sister was always very good to her when she went home to Ireland in the summer. It
was nice to be able to reciprocate the kindness.

Noel slid on his glasses and peered at the telephone number in front of him. Should he dial? He dithered. What would he say? It had been a long time. He sat down on the small
phone seat and picked up the receiver and slowly dialled the number written on the pad. His heart began to thump as he heard the ringing tone. His palms moistened. Hastily he replaced the receiver
and went back out to the kitchen. The fire was low in the grate so he threw on a log and a couple of briquettes. It began to spark and flames licked around the ends of the log.