Divided We Fall (25 page)

She rounded the table and sat on my lap, straddling me, taking my head in her hands. Her tongue explored my mouth.

“I think,” she gasped after a bit, “that we should go upstairs.”

“To my bedroom?” Had I been in a condition to think straight, I might have said something smarter.

She got up and slipped her sweatshirt off so that she stood there in a little T-shirt and jeans. She held out her hand. “Come on, babe.”

As soon as we entered my room we were on each other. She backed me up to the bed and then pushed me down onto my back before climbing on top of me to kiss me more. All my concerns from earlier in the day, all the problems in the whole world, melted away. The universe was only JoBell and me. And it felt so good.

Hours later, with the blankets pulled up over us, we lay there in the dark, so close that we breathed each other’s breath. I’d never felt so …
with
someone, so much a part of someone else. When we’d been together before, it had always been hot and steamy, but that night it felt warmer, safer, than anything I’d ever felt before. I wanted to stay there forever.

“Danny,” she whispered after a long time. “Danny, please don’t go. Please don’t leave me. Forget everything I said earlier today. Forget politics and laws and duty. Just stay. For me.”

I squeezed her. Of all the arguments that everybody had made this afternoon on the bridge, what JoBell had said right now made the most sense. What was the point of being in an army that was almost ready to fight itself? What was life without JoBell? I didn’t want this closeness to end.

After a long time, I began to fade into sleep. She slipped out from under my arm and moved toward the edge of the bed. I caught hold of her hand. “Where you going?”

“Home.” She smiled.

“No,” I whispered, stretching my arms around her waist to pull her back. “You are home. Stay here.”

“I can’t,” she said. “My dad would kill us both. You know that.”

I did know that, and I let her get up. I also knew that I loved her, and the feeling was so intense that it ached in my chest. I knew then what I had to do.

“Hold on,” I said when she had her shoes on. My heart beat heavy in my chest as I pulled on my jeans and went to the drawer in my nightstand. I swear my hands were shaking so much when I approached her that I thought I’d drop the black box hidden behind my back.

“What are you doing?” JoBell said. “I have to get going.”

Was this the right time? Was I being stupid? I ran through all the arguments in my head again. Was proposing to JoBell any crazier than everything that was happening in America lately? No. This was right. That much I knew. I switched on the bedside light and went down on one knee, opening the box to show her the ring. I hoped the lamplight sparkled right on the diamond.

JoBell gasped.

“JoBell Marie Linder, I love you,” I said. “I love you more than I could ever love anything or anyone. Will you marry me?”

She froze with her mouth dropped open. Then she pressed her hand to her chest and took a step back, bumping our rodeo picture off the shelf. She made a clumsy grab to catch it, but missed, and it clattered to the floor. “Oh, Danny.” Tears welled in her eyes.

I smiled. She was so happy, she was crying.

“Oh, Danny,” she said. She pressed her fist to her mouth, biting one knuckle.

My knee was getting a little sore, kneeling like this on the hardwood floor. “I want us to be together forever.”

“So do I.” She nodded as a tear ran down her cheek.

I stood up and moved toward her. “Then you’ll —”

“Not now, Danny.”

I felt almost like someone had punched the wind right out of my gut. “What?”

“I want to be with you forever too, Danny, but we can’t be engaged in
high school
. Even if our parents would let us, we’re still too young. There’s college coming. I’m going to the University of Washington in Seattle and I want you to come with me, but you’ll probably …” She paused.

I snapped the ring box closed.

JoBell went on. “But even if you come to U-Dub too, who’s to say we’ll be the same people there as we are now? Who’s to say we won’t change?”

I squeezed the box to keep myself under control. “This …” I stopped and swallowed back the stinging feeling in my throat. “My love for you won’t ever change.”

She ran to me and kissed me full on the lips. She put her hands around the box and pressed it between our bodies, over our hearts. “Keep this,” she said. “For when the time is really right.”

“How will I know —”

She pressed her finger to my lips. “You’ll know, Danny.” She kissed me again, and then hurried from the room.

I followed her downstairs to the kitchen, where she went to the back door. She stopped there for a moment and looked back at me. Then she slipped outside and the door slammed shut behind her.

I stood in the kitchen for a long time watching that closed door. Then I made myself a drink of lemonade from water and a powdered mix along with some ancient vodka that Mom had forgotten at the back of the cupboard, going over everything that had just happened. JoBell said she loved me, said she always would, and that she wanted us to be together. If that was true, then what did she mean with all that stuff about going to college and changing into different people? Did she think we’d meet people at college that we liked more than each other? Did she think she’d take some classes and learn that she didn’t love me anymore? No way. I took a sip of my vodka lemonade and shook my head as I went into the dark, lonely living room. I’d mixed my drink way too strong.

Maybe it was time to admit to myself what JoBell had almost said tonight. I probably wasn’t going to college in Seattle or to any other big university. Yeah, I wanted to stay closer to home, but it was more than that. I wasn’t flunking out of high school, wasn’t in danger of not graduating, but my grades weren’t that great. So far this year, with the bad dreams about the Battle of Boise and even about Lieutenant McFee’s death keeping me awake all the time, and the waking nightmare of everything that had happened, I had not been able to focus on my schoolwork at all. What’s more is that I simply wasn’t able to make myself care about homework and grades. Never could. Is that why JoBell had turned me down? Because I wasn’t smart enough? Because she knew I wouldn’t be going to college with her?

I didn’t
need
college. I had my plan, my perfect plan, to take over the shop someday and raise a family here in Freedom Lake with my JoBell. What was the good of any plan if it didn’t include JoBell?

I pulled the ring box from my pocket and squeezed it in my fist against my forehead. Why had I asked her tonight? She was right. We were still in high school. Nobody got engaged in high school! That’s why she’d said no. None of that other crazy stuff mattered. Me and JoBell were good. Good for each other. Meant to be together. Soul mates or whatever.

I took a drink, the ice cubes clinking against the glass in my shaky hand.

I had asked her to marry me because everything else in my life was falling apart. I was afraid that I would have to leave, and I didn’t want to lose my girl in the process. I only wish … How was I supposed to come back from a rejection like that? I’d tried to put our relationship on a higher level and she’d shot me down. What happened to us now?

Later, I did my duty as a good son and called Mom in Spokane, even though I really didn’t want to talk to anyone right then. She said she was fine, but I could hear the shadow in her voice, and my call log showed me she’d already tried to call me a couple times tonight while I’d had my comm on silent. Luckily, the conference had set her up in a nice hotel with room service that offered chamomile tea. She said I shouldn’t worry about her at all, but I’d been worrying about her my whole life.

The next day was worse than Monday. I still had the deadline for reporting for duty, but now I had a touch of a headache from last night’s drink, and I had to face JoBell. By the look on Becca’s face when she saw me, JoBell had told her about the flop proposal from the night before. At lunch, when I asked JoBell to come over that night, she made an excuse and then went to the bathroom. Becca would hardly look at me. She said quietly, “Give her a little time. It’ll be okay.”

So Tuesday night I sat alone on the couch, flipping through feeds on the living room screen to see if there was something live that was good. Of course, there was nothing worth watching, and I didn’t feel like catching old shows on the Internet. I sighed. “I’m bored enough to actually do homework,” I said to nobody.

The doorbell rang and I jumped up, thinking it better not be a reporter. I was pissed enough to finally give them a statement, and it wouldn’t be one they would like. I opened the door a crack so I could slam it shut if it was trouble.

And there Becca stood on the porch, smiling and holding a foil-covered pan.

I hadn’t expected to see her and had no idea what to say. “Um, hey.”

She laughed a little. “Can I come in?”

Reporters out in the street started taking photos. “Oh.” I opened the door and rushed her inside. “Yeah. Sorry. Sure. What’s up?”

“I know that your master plan was to eat frozen pizzas or canned soup all week.” She went to the kitchen, put the pan on the counter, and leaned over to start the oven. “But since my parents are on vacation in Florida with Eric’s mom and dad, I thought I’d bring you some real food.” She peeled the foil off the dish. “My famous lasagna. Won a blue ribbon at the 4-H fair freshman year.”

“You didn’t have to do this. I’m good with the frozen pizzas, really. Plus I have some fish sticks.”

“You’re good with that stuff, but it is not good for you. Plus, it’s too late. I’ve already made this. Now I have to bake it, and then we can eat.”

“But … That’s a pretty big pan. I hope you’re really hungry or counting on leftovers because I don’t think you and me —”

She leveled her gaze at me. “Relax,” she said. “The others are on their way over right now. If you
are
going to report for federal duty tomorrow, and this is your last night at home, we thought we’d send you off in style.” She reached up to unclip the shiny butterfly from her hair. “And no matter where you go, I want you to remember that you have friends back home who care about you.” She held the hair clip out to me. “Take this to remind you of that?”

Except when we were little babies, I’d never seen her without that clip. She’d told me once that her older sister had given it to her on the day she died of cancer, asking Becca to keep it to help her remember.

“Becca, I can’t take this,” I said quietly.

She grabbed my hand, opened my fingers, put the butterfly in my palm, and closed my grip around it. “Yes, you can.” She kept my hand in both of hers. “No matter what you choose. No matter where you go. I don’t want you to forget me. Forget us.”

“I could never forget you guys.” It was silent for a moment. Then I smiled. “And what if I stay home?”

She laughed and pushed my hand away. “In that case, I’m going to want that back.”

“Hey, you two didn’t start without me, did you?” Sweeney came in carrying a duffel bag that was obviously packed with some sort of box. “When the folks are away, the kids will play! My old man won’t miss a few beers.”

JoBell and Cal arrived next. JoBell shut the front door. “Damn it, Eric, why don’t you shout that a little louder? I don’t think the reporters or the cops heard you. Or do you want me to just call them and ask them to bust us?”

Believe it or not, a grumpy JoBell yelling at Sweeney actually made me feel better, closer to normal after the awkwardness from last night. She followed me into the kitchen, where we were alone, and kissed me on the mouth. When she pulled back, her face was still close to mine and her fingertips slipped down my cheek for a moment, sending tingles through me.

“You okay?” she whispered.

I took a step back from her. Somehow her concern bothered me. I’m not gonna lie, having my marriage proposal rejected last night hurt, but being treated like a wounded little puppy didn’t make me feel any better. “Yeah. I’m fine,” I said. “You know, forget about last night. I was an idiot.”

“No.” She put her hands on my upper arms. “Danny, it was beautiful, it’s —”

“Yeah, I know. It’s cool. I get it.” I broke free from her grip and went to join the others in the dining room.

As I came into the room, I heard the welcome
crack-hiss
of a beer being opened. “So my parents are gone,” Sweeney said. “Becca’s parents are gone, conveniently to the same Florida resort. And maybe this will influence your decision about tomorrow, buddy.” He tossed me a beer — a good, expensive one, Wild Moose, brewed in Montana. “I’m thinking I’m going to have to have a party at my house on Friday. A big party. Epic. An off-the-hook stupid party.”

“Hell yeah!” said Cal. He chugged half his beer. “Samantha’s kind of been giving me the eye in government class. I think this weekend could be it.”

“Down, boy,” Becca said. “Sorry, but Sam is so not into you. I happen to know that her and Chase Draper were —”

“Wait. Hold on. Quiet,” JoBell said, turning the volume up on the living room screen. President Rodriguez was giving a speech, sitting behind his desk in the Oval Office.

“Oh, will you shut that off?” said Sweeney. “Better yet, put on some music.”

JoBell stared at the screen and held up her hand. “Shhh.”

President Rodriguez spoke sternly, looking directly at the camera.
“… have every hope for a peaceful resolution to this crisis. However, Governor Montaine has produced an intolerable situation by posting Idaho National Guard soldiers along all the borders of Idaho in an illegal effort to block the entry of federal military and law enforcement personnel. I cannot wait any longer to take action in reply. That is why, effective immediately, all federal financial aid to the state of Idaho has been cut off. Furthermore, I have given orders to the United States Army to create a blockade that will allow anyone to leave Idaho, but will not allow any people or materials to enter. All flights into the state have been canceled.”

“He can’t
do
that! That’s totally illegal!” JoBell shouted.

“Shhh,” Sweeney said. He wasn’t messing around either, but really listening.

“I appreciate the cooperation of the governments and people of Washington, Oregon, Nevada, and Utah. I’ve been in touch with the governors of Montana and Wyoming. They have met in emergency session with their legislatures and agreed that they don’t want the dangerous situation that Governor Montaine has created spilling into their states. They have also asked that besides normal business at existing federal military outposts within their states, no additional federal troops be assigned for blockade operations. Instead, the Idaho borders with Montana and Wyoming will be closed and patrolled by state police and National Guard personnel from those two states. The end result will be the same. As of this moment, the Idaho border is closed.”

“Bastard’s gonna try to starve us out,” Cal said.

“If Governor Montaine and the members of the Idaho state legislature who voted for nullification truly support the people they claim to represent, they will stand down their soldiers and surrender themselves to federal authorities.”

“Now Idaho representatives are arrested for voting like morons?” JoBell said.

“If they start arresting every elected idiot, there won’t be anyone left,” said Sweeney.

“In the meantime, I fully expect all members of the Idaho National Guard to report for federal duty by zero eight hundred hours tomorrow as ordered. Any member of the Idaho National Guard who does not report at that time will be deemed as guilty as Governor Montaine and those select members of the Idaho legislature.

“The Idaho Crisis has gone on for far too long, and now, unfortunately, unprecedented measures must be taken to restore order and the rule of those laws duly passed by the legal representatives in the United States Congress. Further announcements will follow. May God bless the United States of America.”

The screen went black for a second and then went back to the CNN newsroom. A gray-bearded man sat motionless for a moment before snapping alert.
“Welcome back to the CNN Idaho Crisis situation room. I’m Al Hudson. We’ve been monitoring large-scale troop movements in the northwestern part of the United States all afternoon, and there’s been much speculation about what those movements could mean, but it seems now we have our answer. For any of you joining us now, and for those of you who saw the president’s announcement and are as shocked as I am, let’s review what the president of the United States just told us.”

The screen went dark. Becca was holding the remote control. The look on her face made it clear that she wasn’t listening to any arguments about turning it back on. A tear ran down her face, but she quickly wiped it away. She looked to Sweeney and me. “Our parents are trapped out of state. We need to talk.”

Becca’s comm rang.

“JoBell, a call labeled urgent is coming in from your father,”
said Digi-Eleanor.

“Breaker one nine! Hey Cal, Daddy Big Bear is squawkin’ for you. Come back now, ten four,”
said Cal’s Digi-Trucker John.

“Mmmm, Eric, baby. You got a call coming in, you big hot stud.”
The voice from Sweeney’s comm was breathy and hot.
“Come get it, big boy.”
Sweeney picked up his comm. I saw the naked brunette in the bottom right corner pop-up video.
“Yes! Eric, I want your fingers on me. Touch me all over! Tap in to that call. Tap me hard, Eric.”

“Hey partner, your mama’s calling. You gonna take this?”
said Digi-Hank.

Everybody knew their worried parents were calling, but nobody tapped in yet.

“Ooooh, Eric, tap me! I can’t wait any longer!”

“Okay, Trixie,” said Sweeney. “Calm down, baby.” He seemed to notice us staring. “What?”