Divine Charity (42 page)

Lydia gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her shoulder.

“Val and Ransome?” Lydia asked quietly.

“I’m so silly.”

Lydia shook her head, making her brunette waves bounce around her shoulders. “Not silly. They’re hot as hell. Even a very happily married woman like me can see that. And they’re such decent guys, even though they look like total bad boys.”

A chuckle escaped from Jessica and she nodded. “They’re wonderful.” She sat up straight, thinking she sounded ridiculous, and prayed Lydia would let the subject drop.

“You know, that’s something Divine seems to be blessed with. Sure, we have our fair share of crazies that find their way here, but we have a lot of good guys in this town, too.
Really
good guys,” Lydia said as she looked toward the front of the club and waved. Jessica turned to see who she was waving at and cringed.

Just what my battered ego needs right now.

Jessica wanted to crawl under the table and proceeded to slouch down into her chair but Lydia stopped her. “Oh, no you don’t, missy. It’s time to break the ice…again.”

“Easy for you to say, Lydia, you didn’t break your water all over Tank or totally lose your dignity with Troy in the room while you pushed an eight pound baby out of your vagina!”

Lydia snickered. “Oh psshh! There was a curtain separating you.”

“He could
hear
me!”

“You weren’t even aware he was in the room with you.”

“Yeah, but once I remembered, I wanted to die from embarrassment. And I had to share the rest of my story with them. I would just as soon they’d never known.”

Lydia tilted her head and had an indecipherable look on her face. “You know they don’t judge you for what happened to you, honey. They both stayed because they weren’t about to let Dornan get anywhere near you. In my book they’re just as heroic as Val and Ransome. And…”

“And what?” Jessica asked as she watched Troy and Tank make their way to the bar where they ordered beers.

“And I think their feelings are wounded because you haven’t talked much with them since Bella was born.”

“I’m so embarrassed. You weren’t down at the creek when it happened, Lydia. It was like…well…I might as well have just peed all over Tank. And then they find out that I was a sex slave to a psychotic misogynist who got me pregnant. How could they possibly look at me and not have that come to mind? And what came after…well, there’s hardly anything earthier than giving birth to a baby—”

“During which Troy cheered you on as if that baby was his.”

Jessica’s inner litany of all the reasons why she could hardly even look either redheaded hunk in the eye continued on. She’d been through a trauma the year before and was still dealing with the repercussions of it and likely would for some time to come. They’d seen her at her absolute worst. Couple that with her long-lasting and apparently fruitless crush on Val and Ransome and she was one hot mess—then Lydia’s words finally registered.

“He what?” She must’ve been either totally out of it or completely focused on giving birth and didn’t remember.

Lydia nodded. “He spoke encouragingly to you the whole time. It was really sweet. I think it really bothered him to hear you in pain. And Tank checked in with him several times through a crack in the door. If I’d known you had a thing for Val and Ransome I would’ve told you. I just never realized.” Then she pointed to the two men who were now making their way over to the group of tables Jessica and Lydia sat at. “They ask me all the time how you’re doing.”

Jessica closed her eyes and her litany played again, along with the embarrassing imagery from the bank of the Divine Creek. And they knew the truth of how Bella came to be. She cringed, imagining them looking at her with pity for what had happened to her or wondering what her situation had been like while she was held captive. “I just can’t, Lydia. Every time I think about it, I see the horrified look in Tank’s eyes when I…gushed all over him.”

Her friend smiled sympathetically and nodded. “They wouldn’t pressure you. You’ve been through a lot lately. Maybe it’s best to just take things slow, one day at a time. Hormones can have lingering effects and your feelings could change.”

She
had
been hormonal lately, as was to be expected, with adjusting to nursing and dealing with a newborn. Those were just two more reasons in a long list of reasons why she couldn’t seriously pursue a relationship. The disappointment of finding out that Val and Ransome were officially off the market, and evidently had been for a while, was just the topper.

Lydia spoke with both men as they came close and Jessica forced herself to smile as she made eye contact with Tank and then Troy.

“Hey, Jessica,” Tank said with his trademark wide-open smile.

“Good to see you getting out of the house a bit,” Troy said as she returned his smile and greeting. His hand was warm on her shoulder blade as he stroked her lightly before he and Tank moved on to the table where the men had gathered.

A curious emptiness gave her pause as they walked on by. Disappointment?

Well? You didn’t exactly give them any reason to try now did you, Jess? Besides, up until just a little while ago, you were still pining away for Val and Ransome.

Lydia turned back to her after replying to someone’s comment and said, “Everything okay? You want another Sprite? Or anything else?”

Shaking her head negatively, she thought about Charity and the dance from earlier again. It had been hard to distinguish whether they were escorting her onto the dance floor or if she was the one
leading
them.

What must that kind of female power feel like?

To be the woman that not one but three men gravitated to. It was the stuff that fantasies were made of, she knew, but it also scared her a little. After what she’d been through, she wasn’t sure she could stand to be surrounded like that. Her heart thumped at the thought of hurting the feelings of a man, or men, who just wanted to be close to her. But she knew one thing for certain. She couldn’t afford to make any rash decisions right now. She had a life to get in order, and a daughter who needed her.

Just then, another pounding rock song started and Charity, Grace, Emma, and several of the others headed for the dance floor. Jessica got up from the table.

Lydia whooped. “It’s a girls’ dance!” she said as she turned to Jessica. “You have to dance with us, Jess. It’s a tradition—Wait. You’re leaving?” Jessica nodded as she slung her purse on her shoulder and pulled her car keys from it. The crowd was suddenly closing in on her and watching everyone else have fun had lost its appeal.

“I think so,” she said with a nod, avoiding eye contact with the others at the table, afraid to even look over and see if Tank and Troy noticed. She didn’t have the right to expect them to. “I don’t want LuAnn and the guys to stay up late on my account.”

Oh, because eight o’clock is soooo late.

Lydia checked her watch, but smiled in understanding as she hugged Jessica. Quietly, she said, “It’ll get easier, hon. You’ll see.”

Trying to swallow the silly knot that was growing in her throat, Jessica nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Several of the other girls caught her as she prepared to walk to the door and said good-bye, but Tank and Troy were involved in a conversation with Val and Ransome and didn’t seem to notice.

Silly, I thought you weren’t interested. Didn’t have time. And weren’t you just crushing on two other men?

The guys that worked the front door nodded to her kindly as she walked out. She looked back and noticed that one of them kept her in sight as she made her way to her car nearby. Knowing he did that made her feel safer as she traversed the sidewalk but each step felt heavier as defeat settled on her shoulders like a weight.

“Jess!” a deep voice called from right behind her. Without thinking, she immediately halted in her tracks, turned, and a big solid body bumped into her.

She gasped when solid, familiar hands wrapped around her upper arms, keeping her on her feet. Tank. His name seemed even more appropriate. “Sorry. I didn’t expect you to stop quite that fast.”

His clean scent surrounded her and she suddenly felt a little lightheaded. Her pulse accelerated as she looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? I bumped into you,” he said, a wide smile on his face. “I heard you were leaving and wanted to make sure you made it out to your car safely.”

“Oh…well…thank you.” She looked down at his hands, still on her upper arms and then looked up at him. He slid his hands down her arms until he finally released her. Warmth lingered on her skin where he’d touched her.

“Troy wanted to come, too, but we thought it might be a bit…overwhelming for you.”

She noticed that his face had gone a little ruddy as he gazed at her. Was he embarrassed, too?

“That was really sweet of him…and you…” Taking a deep breath, she wasn’t sure what else to say. The way Troy’s green eyes sparkled when he smiled made her wish that maybe he’d come with Tank. She always wondered what thoughts were going on in his head when he smiled at her.
Okay, that’s definitely hormones talking, Jess
. “I really appreciate that. I thought I’d go out with Lydia and her friends for a little bit this evening but…”

“Worried about Bella?” he offered, and she willingly took the excuse. Only it wasn’t completely an excuse. Her arms ached to hold her tiny daughter. She gave herself a mental shake, thinking she’d obviously jumped the gun with this night out.

“This is the first time I’ve been away from her for the evening.” In truth, it had been harder than she’d expected but she could at least be honest with herself about why she was leaving earlier than expected. It had more to do with raw emotions and unexpected revelations.

“And she’s doing okay? Progressing all right?”

“Oh, yes,” Jessica said with a nod, actually quite proud of how well Bella was progressing.

Tank seemed relieved for some reason and smiled. She only saw understanding in his eyes, accepting her excuse for leaving without argument. “Well, be safe. And hey, don’t be a stranger,” he said as he held the car door open for her. “I’m—we’re glad to see you getting out a little bit. Next time we’re at the Dancing Pony will you save us a dance?”

The dance Charity Connors had shared with her men came to mind even though she knew that wasn’t the kind of dance he meant. She averted her eyes under the guise of putting the key in the ignition and then tried to smile at him. “Maybe so?” she replied, unsure why she voiced it as a question. Did she want that? Could she handle it?

He closed her car door and at the very last second, leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. “Good night, Jess. Drive safe.”

Her cheek tingled all the way home.

Mid-May…

Charity stood in the living room of the expansive lakeside cabin they’d stayed in a few months before, when their journey as a ménage had begun. She’d made the trip there by herself after work, as Justin had requested when he’d called her earlier that day. Of course the hours until she could leave work had inched along at a snail’s pace. Beau was staying with Noah that weekend and Justine was spending time with her grandparents.

The dwindling rays of the sunlight reflected off of the water through the large windows at the rear of the house, bathing the room with a warm glow.

She lifted the flaps of the box with her name emblazoned on the outside and peeked inside. Justin had explained that a box would be waiting for her when she got to the cabin, and to follow the instructions inside, and to wait for them.

Tearing into the first bag, she discovered a tiered, cotton skirt. She held it up to look at it and smiled when she realized she could see out the back windows through the lightweight ivory fabric. Then she saw the label at the waist.

“Hips and Curves! Awesome!”

Giddy with excitement, she grabbed the packing slip from the box and realized she was holding a—

“Petticoat?”

The next package contained a sexy ivory lace underwire bra that was soft as a whisper and would go well with the petticoat. As she held it up to the light and noted its sheerness, the redolent fragrance of leather wafted from the box.

“Oh, my lovers. What this?”

Lifting the last package, she sighed happily as she removed the tan leather underbust corset she’d had on her wish list at Hips & Curves for
forever
. After carrying the box to the bedroom she laid the pieces out on the bed. Tapping her index finger against her lip, she wondered what their plan was.

Glancing in the box, she spied a small notecard.

Put on the costume. Good serving wenches don’t need panties. You’ll know what to do when the time is right.

Love, Justin

“Serving wench?” A gasp exploded from her, followed by a happy squeal. “Oh, hell-
fucking
-yes!” She danced up on her toes and then ran for the bathroom clutching the garments and the note.

She stopped in front of the mirror and smiled at the note taped there.