Diving Into Him (11 page)

“Ugh.” Griff scowled. “For someone so smart, how can you really be this stupid?”

Her mouth dropped open. Before she could say anything, though, he ran right over her, his words shooting through her like an arrow through her heart.

“Of
course
he loves you, Jett. He paid for your treatment.”

Rain gushed from the sky, dribbling from the gutter and splattering the pavement. Water rushed down the street. Jett huddled on the front stoop of the condo just under the lip of the roof. Smoking outside had never been a problem—until spring came pouring in. She brought her cigarette to her lips, watching the rain pound the grass in the islands that divided the parking lot of the complex. The parking spot in front of her was empty. She wished that Griff would hurry up and get there so they could go to practice at Perry’s.

Ever since her argument with Koty the morning before, things had been increasingly awkward in the house. When he finally did come home, hours after stomping out, he refused to speak to her, never mind even look at her. Griff hadn’t wasted any time leaving, either—forcing her to spend the rest of the day alone with Koty. She had hoped to get back into the studio and start moving forward, but at the last minute, the owner of the studio called to tell her that he was having some repairs done and they would have to wait until the next day to use it, forcing them to use Perry’s place again.

Jett sighed. As usual, everything in her life was blowing up, all at once. She stared out at the grey sky, bare trees poking against it. Spring was always chilly and wet in New England, she remembered—especially the month of April. Things wouldn’t truly warm up until late May or early June. She wondered why she stuck around a place so gloomy and unpredictable. She could have easily moved somewhere warmer. Even when she and Koty first started talking about the new band and moving out of New York, she could have chosen Austin or Los Angeles. Instead, she had gone farther North, for reasons she still wasn’t entirely sure of. She had no idea what it was about Boston that had called to her.

Standing underneath the edge of the roof, staring out into the rain, she wondered why she bothered making any choices at all anymore. She always found a way to screw things up. When Koty finally walked in the door, she thought she would be able to talk to him. She had never known him to blow up or storm off. Instead, he went straight to his room, locking the door behind him. She tried knocking, but he completely ignored her. After sitting outside of his door for twenty minutes, she gave up and went to her own room.

Maybe she had been wrong, she surmised. Agreeing to live with him—even if they slept in separate bedrooms—had probably given him false hope. She shook her head at herself. It wouldn’t have been entirely false. So many nights had passed when she wished that he would just break their unspoken agreement. When he finally did make a move, she had thought that things would change. It should be easier for her to connect with him, but instead, she just kept pushing him away.

“Why?” she whispered to the rain. When she was with Tyler, it was easy. He didn’t expect anything from her. From the moment she had met Koty, he had wanted something from her. At first she had thought that he was trying to sleep with her, in order to stir up public interest in his own career as a boy band singer. Then she had discovered that he wanted to join Perpetual Smile. It hadn’t taken long for them to sleep together, though. Part of her wondered if that was all he had wanted all along. She flicked her cigarette into the street. Shivering, she patted her pockets for her phone. Her fingers only found her cigarettes and lighter. She turned and pushed the door open. She eased inside, closing the door behind her. Keeping her eyes low, she moved into the house. “Did Griff get lost, or what?” she called across the living room.

Koty sat at the counter, his back to her. He perched on the stool, as still as a statue. The muscles in his back and neck were tense, though.

“Are you going to refuse to speak to me forever?” She sighed. “This is so immature.” She felt ridiculous, arguing with someone who had never been her boyfriend. Instead of having Tyler meet her at Perry’s apartment during practice, she had given up on trying to get Koty to talk to her. She had met Tyler at a diner instead. She hadn’t stayed out all night, but she hadn’t come home before midnight, either. She had no idea whether Koty went to bed early or if he had stayed up waiting for her. She didn’t care.

Pacing the living room, she lifted her hands in exasperation. “What do you think the guys are going to think when they notice that you won’t talk to me?” She could just hear Perry’s remarks. He would probably say something about how he thought none of them were sleeping together, yet she and Koty were fighting like lovers.

Koty remained silent.

She grabbed her phone from the coffee table and checked her messages, intending to send a text to Griff to tell him to hustle. A new message caught her eye, though, and she opened it. “Griff’s not picking us up,” she said, reading it. “He had to bring the rental car in for a check engine light. We’ll have to walk and meet him there.” She threw up her hands in exasperation. “Are you kidding me?” She tapped out a response, thumbs blurring. She glanced at Koty, hoping for any indication that he was even listening to her. He remained still, though. She frowned. “Did he text you, too?”

She crossed the short distance between the coffee table and where Koty sat. Standing just next to him, she put her hands on her hips. “Did you already know?” She glared down at him. When he said nothing, she took his silence for an affirmative. “So you let me sit out in the rain outside, waiting, for nothing?”

He turned toward her, an eyebrow raised. “How does it feel?”

His tone was soft, but she still flinched. She blinked at him. She had never known him to be vindictive. Eyebrows furrowing, her mouth dropped open as she realized that she had never really known him at all. He hadn’t asked questions about her life, but she had never bothered to ask about his life, either. If he had been using her, she had been using him just as much.

“What?” He stood from the bar stool. Even while standing flat on his feet, he towered over her. If he wanted to, he could hurt her—and she didn’t know him well enough to be one hundred percent sure he wouldn’t.

Her hands fluttered to her stomach, as if she could undo the knot forming in the pit of her belly. She still hadn’t gotten her period, either, she realized. Her eyes widened.

“Now you’re ignoring me.” He smirked, laughing ruefully. Blue eyes stared down at her. Several locks of black hair hung over his forehead, creating spindly shadows across his face.

She took a step back. “Just leave me alone.” She turned to walk away. He caught her arm and spun her around. His touch was gentle, but forceful. She frowned at him. Wrenching away from him, she moved toward the stairs. “I don’t know what to think of you anymore.” She bounded up the stairs.

“Me?” he called after her. “What about you?”

She darted into her bedroom, closing the door behind her and locking it. She didn’t think that he would try to come in. Still, having it locked made her feel safer. Backing away from the door, she sat down on her bed. She inhaled through her nose, the oxygen stilling her shaking hands. Staring down at the quilt, she traced the patterns sewn into the fabric with her fingers in an effort to calm herself. Each breath was less jagged than the last, until she felt her heartbeat normalize.

Shaking her head, she drew her knees up to her chest. The man downstairs was not the Koty she knew. He was an emotional mess. She ran her fingers through tangled hair, slightly damp from stray raindrops outside. The intensity of his reaction shook her. Blinking back tears, she buried her head in her arms. She wished that she could just curl up in bed and sleep the day away.

Knuckles rapped on her door. She jumped, head snapping up.

“I’m going to the studio,” Koty called from the other side.

Her heart thudded in her chest. If she stayed home or waited and showed up separately, the other men would wonder what was going on. If she walked with Koty, though, she would be alone with him. Twisting her lips to the side, she lowered her feet to the floor. She stood from her bed, staring at the door, measuring her choices.

“Jett,” Koty said, his voice full of pain. “Where did we go wrong?”

She pressed her lips together. She didn’t have an answer for him. Perhaps if they had met at a different time in her life, things would be different. She would never know, though. Taking a deep breath, she crossed the room to the door. Unlocking it, she pulled it open. “Let’s go,” she said, brushing past him.

They walked to the studio in silence. Jett clutched an umbrella in one hand, holding a cigarette to her lips with the other. Koty walked just behind her, huddled under his own umbrella. Droplets of rain pounded down on the fabric, bouncing onto the sidewalk. Her boots sloshed through puddles. She kept her head low against the driving rain, wishing that Griff had just picked them up. She wondered if he had ditched them on purpose.

The silence stretched between them, interrupted only by the sound of the falling rain and the occasional passing car. She finished her cigarette and plunged her free hand into the warmth of a pocket, wishing she had thought to wear gloves. She wished that she had thought to do a lot of things.

By the time they arrived at the studio, Jett felt chilled to the bone. She jogged toward the front door, closing her umbrella only once she was inside. She left it leaning against the wall near the door. If someone stole it, she wouldn’t be too heartbroken. Griff was going to give her a ride home, whether he liked it or not. Not bothering to see if Koty followed her, she bounded up the stairs. Pushing through the door to the studio, she steeled herself for the men’s questions. Her breath caught in her throat as she entered the room, though.

Tyler perched on the piano bench next to Max, watching as her keyboardist warmed up. Jett stood frozen in the doorway, heart galloping in her chest. Her mouth dropped open.

The stairs creaked behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know that Koty was there. He started to say something, then his words died, crashing to the floor.

Tyler glanced up. He flashed her a bright smile. When he saw the expression on her face, though, his eyes flicked to Koty behind her. He stood from the piano bench, took a step toward her, then stopped. Confusion shimmered in his eyes. He remained smiling, though. “Surprise,” he said.

She wished that she had stayed home, after all. “I didn’t know you were coming,” she said, swallowing hard.

“That’s why they call it a surprise.” He took another step toward her, then halted.

Koty slipped past her, his shoulders stiff and square. “I didn’t know we were adding a new member,” he said, shooting her a look.

She opened her mouth, but Tyler spoke before she could think of anything to say.

“Don’t worry,” Tyler said. “I’m instrumentally challenged.” He held a hand out to Koty. “Tyler Sall.”

Koty did not shake his hand. He turned away from Tyler and strode toward his guitar. Draping the strap across his shoulders, he turned on his amplifier.

Pressing her lips together, Jett moved into the studio. “You shouldn’t have walked here in the rain,” she told Tyler.

He moved in to kiss her, but she eased past him as if she didn’t notice. Turning on her microphone, she turned to Griff. “How did you make out with the car?”

Griff’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?” He blinked at her. Then, as he glanced from Koty to Tyler to Jett, his eyes widened. “Oh. Right.” He cleared his throat. “It was just a bad code.”

“Great. So you can give me a ride home.” She flashed him a thumbs up. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tyler sit down on a folding chair. She dragged her eyes back to Griff, heart slamming in her chest. “Any chance you’ve heard from that guy yet?”

He shook his head. “It won’t be for a while.” He studied her, eyes questioning.

“Boss,” Perry interrupted. “Why is it that we can’t even have one day off?” He lay  on the floor, sprawled on his back, his head propped under an arm.

Jett sighed. It was no wonder that has wasn’t part of King Riley anymore. “Griff is working on getting us some more shows. I want to have an EP recorded and ready for our next one so that we can make some extra money.”

Perry sat up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes. “Speaking of, when are we getting paid for this show?”

Her neck and shoulders stiffened. She wrapped the cord of her microphone around her arm. “You’ll get paid as soon as I do,” she said. Sweat dampened her palms. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth, making her words clumsy. Taking a deep breath, she motioned for him to get up. “Let’s go through our set list and figure out which songs we want to record.” She turned away from Perry and plucked the set list from the floor in front of her. As she scanned the list, she saw Koty move out of the corner of her eye.

“So, Tyler.” He crossed his arms.

Jett’s head snapped up. She looked from Koty to Tyler.

Koty took a step toward the other man. “What brings you here, to our practice session?”

For the first time, Jett realized that both men were the same height. They squared their shoulders, almost in unison. Her lips parted.

“I’m here to see Jett,” Tyler said. He cocked his head back and crossed his arms.

She cleared her throat. “Is everyone okay with recording all five songs?” She held the paper up.

None of the men seemed to hear her. Max and Perry watched as Koty took another step toward Tyler. Griff stood from his drum kit, shooting a nervous glance toward Jett.

“Well,” Koty said, standing with his feet apart. “This is band business.”

Jett lowered the sheet of paper. Her arms dropped to her sides. She licked her lips. “Can we focus, gentlemen?”

Koty ignored her. He jutted his chin toward Tyler. “Nice meeting you.” He jerked a thumb toward the door.

Pressing her lips together, Jett took a deep breath through her nose. “Tyler is my guest,” she said, meeting Koty’s eyes. She gave him the smallest shake of the head.

“Funny,” he said. “I don’t remember you telling me that he was coming.”

She sighed. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Griff cleared his throat. “We’re paying for this studio time.”

Koty snorted. “You mean
I’m
paying for it.” He shot Jett a pointed look. “This band is just as much mine as it is yours.”