Divinity (9 page)

“The act of walking through such a serene place will serve to calm your mind further and will solidify this place. Come, we have a bit further to walk.” He strode toward the center of the field with Julia close behind him.

After walking for several minutes, Julia realized there did not seem to be an end to the field. As far as she could see there was only tall, green grass, rolling like waves in the breeze. She inhaled deeply, the aromatic grass adding to her serenity.

“This place,” she murmured.
“What
is this place?”

“This is the place between waking and dreaming, the place you will envision in your mind while meditating. We call it the Second Realm. It is the bridge to the higher realm.”

“Higher realm?” Julia asked. “Do you mean Heaven?”

Michael’s eyes found Julia’s. “It is a place with many names. Heaven is one.”

Julia ran through a quick mental checklist—Nirvana, Summerland, Valhalla. There were many more, of course, but she had only to look into Michael’s eyes to see that she was on the right track.

“Come here and walk the field until you are fully here,” he said, returning to his teaching. He took on an instructive tone, losing his earlier lightness. He was all business now. “Meaning that your conscious mind is not on the Earth realm, fretting about the day’s events. Once you are in this state of readiness, the bridge will appear.”

Michael waved his arm ahead of him. His fingertips left streaks across her vision like the sparklers with which she scribbled in the air as a child, leaving behind memories of light.

As the light faded, a semi-transparent bridge appeared. It was made of every color Julia had ever seen, the light weaving together almost the same way both Gabriel and Michael had when they first appeared to her. It spiraled up to and through the clouds.

Her jaw worked silently, failing to find words for the exhilarating beauty. A single tear trickled from the corner of her eye.

“I forget how magnificent these things are, having seen them so often,” Michael said. “It is refreshing to see for a while through those human eyes of yours.”

“Where does it lead?” Her voice was hushed, as if she would disturb the beauty of the bridge if she spoke above a whisper.

“To the heavens. Right now we are in the realm between.” Michael’s voice was low and soothing. Julia could feel the vibration of it. “Come.”

As Michael began to ascend the spiraling bridge, Julia kept up with him easily. She was surprised she didn’t feel vertigo, since there was nothing solid beneath her feet.

She laughed at herself as she imagined falling through the bridge and plummeting toward the Earth. In her quick visual, Michael swooped down out of the sky and caught her, cradling her protectively as he took her back up to the bridge.

A sound snapped her out of her mini-daydream. She looked ahead to see Michael watching her, amused.

“It’s not likely. I don’t wear spandex, and I don’t like phone booths.”

Her face flushed crimson. Her embarrassment deepened when she realized the sound she had heard was Michael. Snickering. As she joined him, her own light laughter felt good after so much turmoil.

She forgot all about that when they reached the top of the bridge and she saw the giant wooden doors. Michael swung the doors open for her, and said three words that covered her from head to toe in goose bumps and flooded her with the most profound feeling of peace she had ever known: “Welcome home, girl.”

“This is dangerous.”

Gabriel turned to face the owner of the intruding voice. He kept his expression flat, though he was disturbed that Uriel had managed to see what Gabriel was watching. “Uriel.”

“Gabriel.”

“What is dangerous, Uriel?”

“Showing her the way. Welcoming her home. There is a reason they live in ignorance of these facts. Humans are ill-equipped to deal with this. Even Children.” His last word dripped with animosity.

“She already found her way, Uriel. She thought she was dreaming, but she has visited frequently.” Gabriel turned his attention back to watching Michael and Julia. He was beginning to admire her resilience, and see her potential.

“Do you favor this one?”

“Uriel, sneering does not become you. I am merely observing, as we do with all of them. I suggest you take it up with Michael.” Gabriel had little patience for Uriel at the best of times. The tone of his voice had always grated on Gabriel’s nerves.

Uriel left with a huff.

“Sometimes I am surprised it was Lucifer who crossed the line and got himself banished, and not Uriel.” Michael’s voice surprised Gabriel, but he did not show it.

“He does have some misguided anger,” Gabriel answered. “You have an odd look in your eye, Michael. What is it?”

“Twice now Uriel has found you. Why?”

“Perhaps he was merely curious.”

“Perhaps,” Michael said, looking off into the distance. “He should have enough of his own work to do. Is he aware of her relation to you?”

“I believe so. He did not mention it, but I think he is.”

“This does not sit well with me, Gabriel. We will have to be more careful. It is too soon to let the others in on our plans.”

“He has seen nothing of our plans,” Gabriel said, folding his arms. “He has only witnessed me viewing her. And what if he knows she is mine? Watching over them is something we are all prone to do. Find Zach-ariah on any given day and you will see him checking on his own several times.”

“That may be true, but you will need to be more careful.”

“I will, Michael. Do you think Uriel has his own plans, or that he would try to stop us?”

“We’ll see.” Michael was silent for a long time, his attention obviously elsewhere. When he spoke, his words had a weight to them that sank into Gabriel’s being. “Pray I’m wrong.”

IX

T
HIS—IS
Heaven?” Julia stammered. Her stomach knotted. It was disconcerting being in Heaven. She felt obligated to be dead. Fear gripped her, and though she knew it was irrational, she wondered if, now that she had seen Heaven, she would be allowed back to Earth. She turned to ask and Michael shook his head, interrupting her before she could begin.

“You’re not dead, and I didn’t bring you here in order to trap you.” He took a step forward. “You need to find your spirit. There is no better way than to come here to find it.”

Some of the tension lifted from Julia’s shoulders and she took a tentative step forward. She had thought Heaven would be all pearly gates, shiny gold, and fluffy clouds. Perhaps even a clerk at a desk with a big log book in front of him, or Saint Peter standing at the gates, trumpet in hand, waiting to announce the new arrivals.

“You watch too many movies, girl. This just happens to be the image with which you are comfortable, the one you have seen before. This is where you enter in your dreams, is it not?”

“It is, but those were dreams. I didn’t know it was actually Heaven, and there were always battles on the other side of the door. Strange battles, without weapons. Explosions of light…” Julia’s voice trailed off as she remembered, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “Was that real, Michael? Are there battles in Heaven?”

“There will be no battles on the other side.” Michael peered through the door, then looked back at Julia with a kind smile. “It was real—at one time. The battles you saw were distant memories. This is simply a doorway into the realm. Once you open it, you enter in the spot you intend to enter.”

He stepped through the doors, and she followed close behind. The only difference on the other side of the doorway was the floor—it was made of clouds. Her feet disappeared into the mist, but she could feel them resting upon something solid. They were in a space without walls or ceilings that continued on as far as she could see. She thought it was like looking out over the ocean.

Julia’s chest tightened. Again, she wondered if she might be dead. She shoved the thought aside and breathed deeply.

Michael waited for Julia’s breathing to return to a steady rhythm, and then continued.

“Those dreams you have, they were of your assignment long ago.”

“My assignment in Heaven? When?”

“Long before there was a physical plane. It was your ‘job,’ or more accurately, your spirit’s job. You collected and healed the innocents. Apparently you relive it in your dreams.”

“I really don’t understand. Are you telling me there are battles in Heaven? That I am—was—what? A medic?” Julia’s voice was rife with confusion, her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all.

“A ‘heavenly medic?’” Michael arched an eyebrow.

As perplexed as she was, Julia had to admit it did seem rather silly.

“In a sense, yes, you were,” Michael said. “These dreams are memories of a distant past. In your dreams, you often become your spirit because it is easier. You would journey all over the world in seconds. It would take days, or weeks, on the lower plane. Here, there is no physical matter. There is only energy. But be aware. It can be very dangerous when you are dreaming in spirit form. Because of who you are, you are like a beacon. You draw the negative ones to you.”

“Negative ones?”

“We are straying quite far from the topic,” Michael said. He shook his head. “There is positive energy and negative energy. Your spirit is made up of positive energy. There is always a struggle for balance; therefore, the positive will always hunt the negative and vice versa. When they are chasing you in your dreams, you will hear a squeal. Similar to the sound of a bomb dropping from the sky.”

“I have heard that before. In those dreams, I’m always running from that.” She shuddered and her wide eyes searched the air.

“They won’t come anywhere near you here in the highest realm.” He winked at her. “In the dream realm—the Second Realm—they think you are an easier target because you are neither spirit nor physical form, and your light calls out to them.”

“My light? What do you mean? Why would they be after me?” The desperation she felt at her ignorance was sweeping her into a heart-pounding frustration. “This would all be so much easier to understand if you had only come to me earlier. If Gabriel had…”

“Patience.” Michael swept his arm, leaving those little trails of light streaking across her vision, and suddenly there was a reflective surface directly in front of her. It was translucent and appeared to be made of mist, but she could clearly see her reflection in it. She took a step forward and, for the first time, Julia set eyes upon her spirit-self. She had expected to see a plume of light similar to those she could see inside other humans. What she had come to think of as their spirits, or their essence.

Instead, she looked like a starburst of pure, white light, with the shape of giant white wings extending from each side. The same bluish hue that emanated from the mists of Gabriel and Michael’s arrivals now radiated from her. She gasped.

“I’m an angel?”

“This is your true form, girl. Before you fell to Earth, and landed in a half-human shell, this was your appearance. Inside, it is still what you are. This is your being.”

“I’ve seen others like this. On Earth, I mean. I sometimes see what’s inside a person.” Julia looked to Michael for verification of that truth, which he gave with a slight nod of his head. “So I am an angel in spirit. In a half-human, half-angel body. Why?”

“The mating of an angel and a human creates a child that is capable of hosting an angel’s spirit in a way that will allow that spirit to avoid the limitations of humans. A heavenly spirit—an angel—can come to Earth, and be born into a human body. But then it has all the limitations that a human being has. Five senses only, limited communication and perception, and the physical sensations that a human experiences are so intense that often angels will become sidetracked with the pursuit of physical pleasures.”

“You mean, like…sex?” Julia asked, her eyes wide.

“Yes.” Michael laughed. “Show me a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting, and I will show you a room full of distracted angels.”

Julia joined Michael in his laughter, though she felt somewhat awkward doing it. She had always thought of angels as much higher beings.

“It isn’t a low thing,” he said, reading her thoughts. “It’s just something we don’t have without a physical form, so it is one of the main reasons angels agree to leave Heaven to go to Earth. Right now, if you were to take any angel’s hand and caress it, they wouldn’t feel it the same way you do. The point is that we needed you to have your angelic senses, as well as your humanly ones. You needed to blend in with the humans, and still have vision, insight, and ability. So Gabriel and Zachariah fathered several children.”

“Several? How many?”

“Twelve. There were twelve of you. And yes, you all volunteered. Before you came here, you saw why we needed you, and glimpses of what your life here would be like. You gave your consent. That is to say—your spirit did.”

“I agreed.” Julia shook her head, trying to believe that she had agreed to live through this life she had tried to escape only a year ago. “If I signed on for this, then why would I have…?”

“We are not able to allow you to keep your memories from the higher plane,” Michael interrupted. “If we did that, you would have been recognizable and in grave danger. Also, the human psyche has its own limitations. We need you to remember in your own time, in your own way. If we came right out and told you the truth without you seeing it for yourself, your doubt would take over—or your pride. And that might break you. Your attempt on your life did serve a purpose. It made you realize that you are here for a reason. It made you start to become open to the reasons why that might be the case.”