Dizzy Dilemmas (19 page)

“
Mmmm. You are right it is delicious,” she confirmed dodging around a chair to avoid him as he made a grab for her.

“Throw it to me!
” Gideon urged holding out his hands preparing to catch it.

“No! I snatched it so I am going to eat it!” she announced.

Unfortunately she was so busy laughing and trying to evade Gabriel, she did not see the footstool that was just beyond the chair and tripped over it. The shortbread went flying in an arc through the air; landing squarely in Gideon’s outstretched hands where upon he popped the whole lot into his mouth. Gabriel watched its progress in angst; unable to reach it and not close enough to prevent his brother from consuming it. Whilst the biscuit flew one way, Dizzy flew the other; straight into the arms of a man who had just stepped through the door.

She knew who it was even before the familiar
voice said, “My darling girl, I am flattered that you are so pleased to see me!”

“I tripped!” she retorted.

“You always say that but I think you just want to be in my embrace,” he proclaimed; keeping his arms locked around her even when he addressed the rest of the room. “Your butler said I should announce myself as he is far too busy with other chores.” Nobody seemed in the least shocked or surprised by this pronouncement and so Marcus surmised it was not unusual for guests to see themselves in.

Gideon made his way over with his hand outstretched but as his mouth was still full of shortbread he was unable to utter any words of welcome.

“Ah there you are, Glenmore,” the Dowager stated blatantly ignoring the fact that he held her granddaughter in a bear hug. “Come on in. Gabriel will fetch you a drink when he has stopped glaring at his brother.”

Ma
rcus shook hands with Gideon who, having finished the biscuit, was now able to greet him properly and much to Dizzy’s outrage they continued to converse about a curricle race they had both witnessed whilst she remained pinned to Glenmore’s chest. After trying to extricate herself without success she decided manners could be ignored and simply interrupted them.

“You can release me now, Glenmore! I have quite got my balance thank you.”

“I’m sorry gherkin; did you say something?” he looked down at her with a decided twinkle of amusement.

Dizzy gave him the look
, feeling it would be more affective than any words but instead of letting her go he laughed and turned to her brother saying, “Your sister has fallen for me yet again, Brockton! I feel it would be much safer for me if she remains at my side. What do you think?”

“I am inclined to agree with you, my friend but in order to preserve my own safety I cannot do so publicly. She would skin me alive if I were to do so, you understand!” Gideon
exclaimed; eyeing his sister warily.

“Just let me go before I set my cat, Minerva onto you!”

“What that ball of purring black fur curled up over there by the fire?” Glenmore scoffed.

“Do not be fooled, Glenmore. She can be deadly when she unsheathes those claws. She can tear
a man to shreds in one minute and disposes of all evidence in another two!”

“Disposes? How?”

Dizzy lowered her voice and looked around conspiratorially. “She eats it! Meow!”

Both men laughed and Glenmore released her. “I dare not risk such a beastly end
!”

“I shall help Gabriel with the drinks and leave Dizzy to make intr
oductions although” he said glancing around “I believe it is only Alfie whom you have not met before.”

             
As soon as he had moved away, Dizzy pounced on him. “What are you doing here? It is a meal for family only.”

“I am almost family,” h
e replied.

“No you are not! There is no such thing as ‘almost family’ ”

“Your grandmother said I am and she invited me; this afternoon as it happens while you were out for a drive. Did you enjoy your ride around the park?” he asked politely.

“Yes it was lovely thank you. Robert is a very entertaining companion. Did you enjoy your visit with the Dowa
ger?” she too asked politely.

“Yes thank you.
She is very amusing. Her jokes had me laughing uncontrollably!”

“
Oh dear!” she laughed. “Her jokes are very rude as a rule. I have often overheard her telling them to her cronies.”

“I am shocked!” he teased “You should have covered your ears!”

“It would have been futile; rather like standing next to a church bell and expecting to cut out the noise by wearing a head scarf.  Grandmamma only has two volumes; loud and very loud.”

Leaning to whisper quietly to her, Glenmore said. “I should be happy to explain any you may not have understood.”

“Thank you but no.” Dizzy hastily replied, blushing at the thought. Fortunately for her she spotted Alfie and used him as an excuse to change the subject. “Come I must introduce you. Alfie this is His Grace the Duke of Glenmore. Glenmore you will remember our cousin Mrs Honey Dew; this is her husband, Alfie.”

“I am pleased to meet you
, Mr Honeydew and wish you a happy birthday,” Marcus greeted him.

“Ah lad, it is a pleasure to meet you but I fear you have been confused by
these rapscallions. Quite understandable I assure you,” he went on to explain. “I am Alfie Dew. My wife’s forename is Honey and is therefore Mrs Dew but the Brockton children always called her Mrs Honey Dew; they said it was such a lovely name and should be used. Of course to me she will always be my own dear Honey Potts.”

“Potts was Honey’s maiden name. Her parents
had a sense of humour it seems,” Dizzy explained. “They called her sister Flower!”

“No!” Glenmore said in total disbelief, wanting very much to laugh but unsure whether it would cause offence.
“Does she have a brother called Ink by any chance?”

“Of
course not! That would be silly!” Dizzy frowned at him. “Her brother is called Paignton; Paint for short.”

Offence or no, Marcus could not help but laugh
and both Dizzy and Alfie joined in, causing the other occupants of the room to ask the root of their humour. Upon being told, Mrs. Honey Dew assured Marcus that it was all perfectly true.

“Goodness knows what names my parents would have chosen had they
been blessed with more progeny,” she said.

“At least where your name is concerned Dizzy, my son and his wife acted in ignorance which cannot be said of your parents, Honey
,” remarked the Dowager.

“About her name!” Marcus said “I have yet to learn what it is. As I am almost family will someone not enlighten me?”

“None of us are that brave!” replied Genevieve whilst everyone else shook their heads.

“It will be a lovely surprise when you stand beside her at the alta
r,” The Dowager consoled him.

“You can hardly expect me to propose to a girl without even knowing her name!” he tried to inveigle an answer from them
.

“
Grandmamma rid your mind of the notion that Glenmore is courting me for it is merely a farce. There will be no proposal and no standing at the altar so you can drop the subject right now,” Dizzy stated firmly. “Now I believe it is time for us to go into dinner!”

“Gherkin you wound me! I lay my heart at your
dainty feet and still you will not look kindly on my suit,” Glenmore sighed dramatically.

“
Unnatural girl!” the Dowager blustered. “The perfect marriage prospect; handsome, titled and well heeled and you will not take him seriously. Mark my words; before long some other girl will snatch him up and you will kick yourself! You need to take measures to secure him, my girl!”

“Is it only
me who finds this conversation bizarre? Grandmamma if he is perfect husband material perhaps you should bring him up to scratch and marry him! Don’t laugh Glenmore,” she threw over her shoulder as she stomped out the door. “You are in danger of overplaying your hand and I might just marry you to teach you a well deserved lesson.”

“Perhaps you should compromise her and be done with it, Glenmore
,” suggested the Dowager shocking a gasp out of her other two granddaughters and a laugh from her grandsons.

“She
is jesting,” Gabriel assured Marcus but everyone was dumbfounded when the Dowager told them she most definitely was not.

With only nine to sit down to dinner and it being an informal family affair, several leaves had been removed from the dining table to create a more intimate atmosphere
. As was the tradition, the one whose birthday it was chose the menu, and so Alfie had requested a selection of dishes that were his particular favourite including oysters; beef marinated in wine and poached pears.

Dizzy recognised her tactical error as soon as she entered the dining room. Being first meant that the rest of her family would leave the seat next to her free for Glenmore. She therefore made a show of talking to Eric the footman, ostensibly checking that all was ready but
delaying having to take her place so that she could seat herself as far from the Duke as possible which would not be nearly far enough given the size of the table. She shuddered at the thought of the meal which in all likelihood would last around three hours with her family watching her every move and analysing each word she exchanged with the Duke. Her sisters, glad of a respite from their grandmother’s matchmaking now that she had Dizzy to focus her intentions on, would sympathize with her but not assist in anyway lest they draw unwanted attentions on themselves. Whilst ever there was real potential to marry off their little sister, they were safe. Of-course, should Dizzy actually marry then they would once again become the victims of the Dowager’s machinations but whilst she remained unattached they could enjoy the freedom; long may it last.

“Come along Gherkin, delaying the inevita
ble will not make it any better,” Glenmore said offering her his arm. “Your Grandmother will insist we seat beside each other and will order a complete table reshuffle if necessary so you might as well give in gracefully now.”

“I never do anything gracefully, Glenmore as you should probably know by now. This is just going to be dreadful and I hold you entirely to blame
! If you keep up this ridiculous scheme of yours it will only get worse; we will be watched like hawks everywhere we go and they will pick over all our words and gestures!” she told him grumpily.

“They would not if we were married
,” he pointed out.

“No but then may I remind you, this farce was devised by you so that you could avoid marriage. Remember?” she said; exasperation lacing her tone.

“So it was, sweetheart, so it was.”

             
Her worse fears were not to be realised Dizzy was glad to note a short while into the celebration meal. Her family having got their way in the seating seemed content to leave them alone and as the whole affair was informal, society rules that dictated one spoke only to those on either side of you were soon set aside so that a general conversation in which everyone could contribute could thrive.

             
The Brockton family, Glenmore soon discovered were a rather argumentative lot when they got going. A number of topics were introduced and on each occasion it was not long before they were disputing each other’s opinions; even going so far as to getting quite heated over some issues. Whilst they wrangled with each other, Glenmore noted that Alfie serenely ate his dinner only interjecting a comment when he was called upon to clarify a particular scientific point. Mrs Honey Dew, whilst holding some strong views of her own took on and was accepted in the role of mediator and she was often called upon to restore order and make a judgement. Although her findings were not always appreciated by the losing side, her ruling was accepted without rancour and everyone would move onto the next subject matter. Politics; usually the domain of male only gatherings were discussed and Glenmore noted that, although they did not agree with each other; they were all Whigs in their outlook.

             
Whilst the others were debating the length of the working day for the average factory worker, Marcus took the opportunity to have a private word with Dizzy.

“This reminds me very much of sitting down to eat with Erica’s family. They are not as argumentative as you lot but definitely as loud, with everyone trying to talk at once and interrupting each other.”

“And how do you find it? Do you favour the more formal approach?” she asked.

“I find it vastly entertaining and much prefer it to the dinner parties I normally attend, although they do have their place
I suppose. Tell me, do you ever come to blows?”

“Not now but we used to when we were children. It was better really because we would have a fight and then it would all be forgotten. Now there are occasions when we will not speak to each other and that can drag on for days. The longest was between Genevieve and Georgiana and it was a full two weeks before they would agree to disagree. As I recall Mrs Honey Dew had to be fetched from her sister’s house where she was staying at the time, to come and act as intermediary. Do not worry though, we tend to always follow the same format
; serious subjects over the savoury courses and more light-hearted topics over the deserts. It must be the sugar content that puts us all into a more frivolous state of mind,” she explained.