‘I think you’ll find the Rule Book states that I remove the last section of the door,’ he announced. The other Caretakers dutifully stepped back. The Deputy gave a vicious kick and the remnants of the door fell into the darkness below. The Deputy stuck his head into the aperture and looked down.
‘Greetings, Deputy Chief Caretaker!’ There at the bottom of a steep flight of dark stairs the Deputy made out the figure of the Doctor. He couldn’t really believe the evidence of his own eyes.
‘You look surprised to see me,’ the Doctor continued cheerily from the depths of the Kang Brainquarters. ‘I can’t imagine why. I thought it was me you were looking for.’
‘Seize him!’ A couple of the burliest Caretakers stumbled down the steps and brought the Doctor back up. It was hard work, given the steepness of the steps, but the Doctor made no resistance. His very compliance made the slow-witted Deputy suspicious.
‘You’re not alone down there, are you?’ the Deputy asked when the Doctor had been placed face to face with him at street level.
‘Well, as a matter of fact, I am,’ the Doctor returned amiably. ‘I found this cosy little hole just by accident, some sort of broom cupboard I suppose, but ideal for a quick snooze.’
‘You don’t fool me, Great Architect,’ the Deputy snapped back. ‘There are Kangs down there.’
‘Take a look for yourself if you don’t believe me.’
The Doctor gestured courteously to the gaping hole that led down to the Brainquarters. The Deputy, whose dim brain always suspected people were trying to make a fool of him, accepted the challenge. He went down into the Brainquarters. He searched under bunk beds and inside cupboards. He upturned boxes filled with food. And he stuck his head into the Fizzade machine.
But he found nothing.
It was a weary Deputy who came back up the stairs to see the Doctor grinning pleasantly. ‘Well, Deputy Chief?’
The Deputy Chief made no attempt to conceal how peeved he was. ‘I don’t know what you’re so pleased about,’ he said with a grim smile, ‘There’s a 327 Appendix 3 Subsection 9 Death waiting for you.’ He turned to the waiting retinue of Caretakers.
‘Bring him back to Headquarters.’
And, not for the first time, the Doctor found himself being bundled off down shadowy streets for an encounter with the Chief Caretaker. He was not to know that this time his journey was being monitored by bright young Red Kang eyes. Kangs never forgot a favour.
The Rezzies seemed to have never thrown anything away. In the cupboards and drawers of their flat, neatly stacked away, were bizarre-looking mouse traps, balls of string, quantities of cooking utensils, any number of varieties of birdseed. And specially wrapped in a lovingly knitted woollen holder was what Mel had been looking for.
‘What is it?’ Pex asked as Mel held it up triumphantly. He was still recovering from his ordeal and lacked Mel’s energy for investigation.
‘It’s a map of Paradise Towers,’ Mel replied. ‘It occurred to me that when everybody was first sent here they would have been given a map to help them get around.’
‘I wasn’t,’ Pex protested but then he stopped and blushed.
‘But then – well, nobody knew I was in the ship, did they?’
Mel, however, was too busy unfolding the map on to the biggest of the glass-topped tables to notice his embarrassment. As she carefully spread out the map, smoothing out the folds, the whole shape of Paradise Towers was clear before her for the first time. She was thankful the Rezzies had been such hoarders.
Pex came over to see.
‘Now at last we can see where we are,’ Mel said, as her eyes took in the scale of the whole architectural undertaking. ‘It’s huge isn’t it? Three hundred and four floors.’ She pointed to a neat mark Tilda or Tabby had made indicating their flat. ‘That shows we must be on floor one hundred and nine.’
‘Mel –’
‘Yes?’
‘Are you sure you want to get to the pool in the sky?’
‘Of course,’ Mel returned. ‘That’s where I’m meeting the Doctor.’
‘You musn’t go.’ Pex’s face had taken on the hunted look Mel remembered from when he had been cornered by the Blue Kangs.
‘Don’t be silly, Pex.’ She consulted the map. ‘Look, there it is, on the map. Floor three hundred and four. What’s the point of having a pool if no-one ever uses it?’
‘But, Mel –’ Pex persisted, ‘only the unalive go there.’
‘Who says so?’
‘Everybody.’ Pex blushed again. ‘Bin Liner and Fire Escape.’
‘Well, after being attacked by Kangs and nearly eaten by Tilda and Tabby, I can’t see that I can possibly be in more danger up there than down here,’ Mel scoffed. ‘Might even have a swim if I’m lucky.’ She broke off as her sharp eyes spotted something else on the map. ‘Now that’s odd.’
‘What?’
‘Look down there.’ Mel pointed to the bottom-most section of the map. ‘Basement’ the legend read. And then right across the section, practically obliterating all details of its layout had been printed the words, ‘Entry Forbidden to All Residents of Paradise Towers on Pain of Death.’
Pex gulped. ‘Well,’ Mel said, determined to look on the bright side, ‘at least it sounds as if it’s safer going up than going down. You needn’t come if you don’t want to, Pex.’
‘But I do.’ Pex’s face was anxious but still resolute. ‘It’s my job to protect you.’
Knowing how fearful Pex was, Mel tried to persuade him to think again. After all, he had saved her life once now, didn’t that mean he had done enough? But Pex could be very obstinate when he wanted to be as Mel had already learned. And after recent events, she was secretly quite glad that he might tag along. She was beginning to feel quite fond of this muddled-headed, cowardly, self-appointed vigilante.
‘So you’re coming with me, come what may?’ Mel asked finally.
Pex nodded. The discussion was over. Mel started to fold up the map to take with them. It would transform their journey.
She didn’t imagine it was going to be easy. But for the first time she really believed they could make it to the great pool in the sky.
‘Welcome back, Great Architect.’ The Chief turned from the bank of screens in his Headquarters to face the Doctor who was bundled into his presence by the proud Deputy.
The Chief’s bloodshot eyes took in the prisoner gloatingly.
‘I’m relieved that it’s you and not my Deputy who will be enjoying the 327 Appendix 3 Subsection 9 death. For a start, his demise would have involved an enormous amount of extra paperwork.’
‘Chief –’ The Deputy had picked up bad news from his Mark 12 LDCE on the journey home and wanted to discuss it. ‘Chief, just now I heard reports that Caretaker number 97 stroke 2
subsection 9 has disappeared without any known explanation and that Caretaker number 348 stroke –’
‘I’m well aware of that,’ the Chief cut in brusquely.
‘But, Chief,’ the Deputy continued, too concerned to notice the Chief’s growing impatience. ‘If this goes on and the Cleaners
are
out of control, how many of us are going to be left?’
There was a deathly silence. The Deputy stopped, shamefaced. He had gone too far and he knew it even before the Chief started to reply in a hushed but stern voice.
‘Deputy Chief Caretaker, by talking out of turn in such a way, you have just broken so many rules and regulations that it would take several hours just to enumerate them.’ The Deputy bowed his head.
‘Wait outside.’
‘Yes, Chief.’
‘And that goes for the rest of you,’ the Chief added, daring the other Caretakers to pick up the baton of protest his Deputy had so quickly dropped. There were no takers, he noted with relief. The Chief’s searching gaze turned back to the Doctor. ‘I think it would be a good idea if before his death, the Great Architect and I had a nice little Regulation 13 Appendix 2 Final Conversation.’
Moments later the Doctor and the Chief were alone in the control room. Two strong wills confronted each other in silence.
The Doctor decided he would wait for the Chief to start. If he was to die anyway, he might as well see what the Chief had in mind in sending his subordinates all away so peremptorily. The Doctor was fairly certain there were things the Chief had to say which were not for the ears of the already rattled Caretakers.
‘Are you the Great Architect?’ The Chief suddenly broke his broody silence.
‘You mean, you’re not certain any more?’
‘Oh, I shall kill you anyway,’ the Chief put in, ‘but it would be interesting to know.’
‘What makes you think I am the Great Architect anyway?’
the Doctor enquired. ‘Haven’t you ever met him?’
The Chief shook his head. ‘Just when Paradise Towers was being completed, before any of us got here, he disappeared under mysterious circumstances. He’s never been seen since.
Anywhere.’
‘How odd.’ The Doctor was deliberately non-committal, waiting for more.
‘Odd indeed,’ agreed the Chief, ‘for a being whose head was apparently full of extravagant future plans.’ He stared balefully at the Doctor. ‘But I always knew in my bones that he’d turn up again one day. And start altering things just when I’d got them the way I wanted.’
‘And that would justify killing me – I mean him?’
‘Oh yes.’ There was not a scrap of remorse or doubt in the Chief’s voice. The Doctor felt now was the time for him to take the initiative. Not least because he could feel anger building up inside him against the Chief’s cynical ruthlessness.
He fixed his adversary with a steely look. ‘Like everyone else in Paradise Towers,’ he began, ‘you seem terrified to face up to the reality of what’s happening here. I mean, killing me won’t help you to find out who is sending those robotic cleaners out to kill people. You’ve certainly got your Deputy and all the other Caretakers thoroughly scared for their lives. And that’s a problem which isn’t going to go away.’ The Chief was returning his gaze steadily up to now but the Doctor suddenly took a leap into the unexpected. ‘Unless, of course, you’re giving all those orders yourself.’
‘A ridiculous idea!’ The Chief’s dismissive reaction was immediate but there was something shifty and nervous about the way his eyes were starting to move. The Doctor gained the confidence to carry on.
‘Ridiculous perhaps. But I do have a better one.’
‘And what is that?’
The Doctor took his time now, choosing his words carefully.
‘Of course,’ he began brightly, ‘there can be no doubt you have been allowing the Cleaners to kill off
some
of your people, as well, of course, as any poor innocent Kangs they can find, for reasons that are, for the moment, beyond me. But then I’m not a power-crazed psychopath.’
‘What did you say?’ The Chief was furious and his voice echoed round the room. But the Doctor kept his head. The more the Chief blustered, the more certain he became he was on the right track.
‘Look, Chief Caretaker, you’re going to kill me anyway so you may as well make use of my brain, for what it’s worth, while I’m here.’ The Chief saw the force of this and subsided back into his chair as the Doctor continued: ‘What I also think is happening here, besides your own activities, is that Caretakers, Kangs, Red, Blue, Yellow, anyone in sight is being killed off
without
any instructions from you. And without any reference whatsoever to that precious rule book of yours.’ He paused. ‘And that’s why you’re worried. You don’t know who’s doing it.’
‘Oh, don’t I?’ The Chief had been listening intently up to now but the last thrust was too much. His sallow face went red with rage and he rose angrily from his seat. The Doctor had touched a nerve all right.
At that moment the Chief was furious enough to have done anything but, luckily for the Doctor, the control room door slid open and the Deputy burst in looking agitated. He was speaking before he was fully through the door.
‘Report from Floor 109, Chief. Two of the oldsters have apparently disappeared and it is believed that they have gone down the XY3 standard issue waste disposal unit.’
‘What!’ The Chief was genuinely thrown off-balance.
‘It’s unheard of, Chief,’ continued the Deputy. ‘I should remind you that under the emergency regulation number 56
subsection –’
‘Yes, yes, I know,’ the Chief cut him off impatiently. ‘I have to go and find out what’s happened. Why do things like this always happen at the most inconvenient moment?’ He started to move decisively towards the door. ‘Deputy, I leave you in charge.’ His face twisted into an ugly smile. ‘I don’t need to remind you of the consequences of any second mistake.’
‘No, Chief.’ The Deputy shuffled uncomfortably. And then, just as he was leaving, the Chief had a sudden inspiration. He turned back and glanced at the Doctor, who was still seated where the Regulation 13 Appendix 2 Final Conversation had taken place.
‘Perhaps we should allow the Great Architect to see a copy of the Illustrated Prospectus to Paradise Towers. Might bring back happy memories.’ The ugly grin returned, a relish of revenge for the discomfort the Doctor had caused him. ‘Not that I shall be away long. It’s against my principles to keep anyone waiting.’
The door slid to and he was gone.
‘And no funny business with the rule book this time, all right?’ The Deputy’s tone was almost pleading as he had once again to assume control of the prisoner.
But the Doctor did not answer. Indeed he barely heard what the Deputy was saying. His mind was elsewhere, turning over far bigger and more baffling problems than how he was to escape again. The chat with the Chief had started to open up extraordinary possibilities but their implication still eluded him.
Perhaps the Illustrated Prospectus to the Towers would furnish the clue he still needed.
8
It was inevitable, Mel supposed, but it was still a shock. She had decided to make a detour to where they had left the TARDIS on the corner of Fountain of Happiness Square. It had seemed a good idea to be able to fix in her mind where it was located for when the time came to leave Paradise Towers. She could even mark it on Tilda and Tabby’s map. Now she rather wished she hadn’t bothered. The sight of the TARDIS covered all over with graffiti was not encouraging.