Doctored (33 page)

“There are freedom fighters and I wanted to kill the bastards who did that to me.  I don’t even know who my son’s father was because of what they did.  I couldn’t let anyone touch me for so long…” she sobbed.

This time Madison didn’t wait, she got up and pulled Deanna into her arms.  She would never have guessed.  This confidant and intense woman had been so strong for so long, she hadn’t ever thought she had weak moments.  “It’s understandable you wanted them to pay for what they did…” she began.

“I don’t think you understand,” Deanna pushed her back to hold her at arm’s length.  “A doctor saves lives, she doesn’t take them.  I was thinking of things I could do to them, to all of them.  It would have hurt a lot of innocents too, but I didn’t care.  I was half a world away and I was thinking chemical warfare!”

Madison was startled by the vehemence she saw in Deanna’s eyes.  The blue had turned almost a crystal white.  She was angry and hurt and oh so vulnerable at the moment.  “But you didn’t,” she said softly.

“Only because they wouldn’t let me leave.  They made me work, made me use my skills until my mind returned to me and I realized I would never be able to find the man who was responsible, the men who did…” her voice broke again.

Madison wondered briefly what exactly they had done to her and then dismissed it.  It didn’t matter.  What mattered was that Deanna was here now, she was better, and she hoped she had left that in the past.  “You have Roman.  Are you ashamed of him?”

“Of Roman?” she asked incredulous.  “Of course not.  He’s my joy!” she said proudly.  “He isn’t a child protégée, thank goodness,” she added as an afterthought.  “But he is smart in his own way and proud to be a Kearney.  He doesn’t want to be a doctor,” she laughed.  “He says it’s too time-consuming.  He wants to be a businessman and run Kearney Pharmaceuticals someday.  The Foundation, he says, is in good hands until he is old enough and experienced enough to take it on.”  She smiled as she repeated his words.  “Not bad for a nine-year-old, eh?”

“No, not bad at all,” Madison smiled back at her.  She had a flash of her own children, wondering if she didn’t push them enough.

“Well, that’s the story I kept from you,” Deanna finished with a big sniff as she wiped her leaking eyes on her sleeve and her runny nose on the back of her wrist.  “Oh, excuse me,” she said as she ran to the bathroom, leaving the door open to grab a tissue and blow her nose.  She washed her hands up to her elbows to get rid of the snot, shaking her head at herself.  She, of all people, should know better.  She grabbed a washcloth and wiped her eyes, removing the last vestiges of her makeup from them.  She looked into the mirror.  She could see where she was missing spots of eyelashes and eyebrows, and sighed.  The stress had been getting to her recently.  She needed to get out of that hospital, it was getting to her.

“Are you okay?” Madison asked from the doorway where she was watching her.

“I’m fine,” Deanna answered, knowing there were so many meanings to that phrase and she’d heard them all from her patients over the years.  She herself had been ‘fine’ many times over the years.  She took a deep breath, centering herself, and released it slowly, expelling the bad karma she had invoked with her memories.  She did this several times until she felt her normal self.  When she had her equilibrium back, she looked up once again at Madison and asked, “Do you want to go?”

Madison nodded.  She had watched Deanna pull herself together amazingly well.  It only strengthened her awe of this woman.  After going through God only knew how much, she had come out the other side.  People thought her blessed for her brilliant mind, but this, this was the real Deanna Kearney.  She still thought of her as Doctor Cooper, but she wasn’t.  She hadn’t been that young and carefree woman for a long time.

They left the bedroom hand in hand.  Madison looked at Deanna frequently, hoping to convey her sympathy, her pride, and that she was there for her if she wanted to discuss any more with her.  She wouldn’t pry, she’d never repeat it, but she did have questions.

“Hey, Mom, are we…?” the boy came to a skidding halt on the socks he was wearing in the large foyer at the bottom of the enormous staircase they were descending. 

Madison didn’t remember the stairs from the previous night, but then she’d been fogged up about a lot of things, caught up in a lust that only Deanna could assuage.

“Roman, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.”  She pulled Madison forward to her side, proudly.  “Madison this is my son, Roman…Roman Kearney.  Roman, this is Madison…” she began, but he excitedly interrupted her.

“MacGregor?  This is the Maddie of your stories?” he asked with obvious joy on his face.

Madison looked surprised and turned to Deanna.  Deanna just smiled and nodded at her son.  “Yes, Roman, this is the Maddie of my stories,” she confirmed gently.  “It’s rude to interrupt though.  She prefers to be called Madison now.”

“My apologies, Ms. MacGregor,” the boy said formally, back to the well-mannered kid she had met in the bedroom.  Remembering she had been nude under those covers in the bedroom, she blushed slightly as she nodded.

“My mom speaks of you often when she tells me about Africa and her time in Mamadu,” he continued almost as formally.

There was a loud crash in one of the rooms off the foyer where they were standing and Deanna suddenly asked, “Where is Spot?”

The boy looked guilty.  “We were playing and I forgot,” he began and quickly left on slippery socks to see what the cat had gotten into.

Deanna tried hard not to laugh and failed, a slight snort came out and Madison looked at her in surprise.  The boy obviously delighted her.  There was no hint of the sad tale she had told her up in the bedroom, no hint of the anxiety or utter desolation she had indulged in, however briefly.  “Come on, I better get you home before you see my cat and run away in terror.”  She tugged at the hand she was holding and Madison realized that the boy hadn’t even noticed they had been holding hands, or if he had, he had accepted it.

“Why, what’s wrong with your cat?” she asked as she was led to the front door, but Deanna wouldn’t tell her, she would only smile.  “Is it okay to leave your son alone while you…?”

“I have a housekeeper,” Deanna reminded and led her, not to the front door as Madison had assumed, but to a set of stairs that led down to a built-in garage.  There was room for six cars, but there were only two—the Rover that Madison was familiar with and a Volvo station wagon, plus the two Waverunners they had so much fun on the other weekend.  Other than that, the large garage was strangely empty.  Deanna made sure to tuck Madison in the SUV, even pulling the seat belt across to securely fasten it, stealing a kiss in the process.  “All tucked in?” she asked with a grin.

Madison was bemused.  She’d learned more about Deanna in the last few hours than she had in the months they had chatted.  She couldn’t recall one time where she had asked Deanna direct questions about her past or what she had done in the last ten years, much less what had happened in Africa after she had left.  She felt very selfish about that and ashamed.  She should have asked, taken an interest.  She should have known long before this morning what had happened.  As a result, she was fairly quiet on the ride home.  It wasn’t until they’d pulled up in front of her house that she realized Deanna had held her hand the entire drive home.  As she went to pull it away, Deanna pulled back and looked at her.

“Are you disgusted?” she asked quietly as she pulled off her sunglasses.

“Disgusted?” she asked, confused.  “With what?”

“With what I told you this morning.”  The blue was completely back in her eyes and they were looking earnestly into Madison’s own green eyes.

“Of course not,” she answered.  Something was lacking, a bit of conviction perhaps and Deanna pounced on it.

“But…?”

“But nothing…” she began, but those blue eyes probed and held her.  “I should have asked sooner about what happened to you.  I feel ashamed that I never did.  How selfish of me.  I could have….”

“Changed nothing that happened to me,” she finished for her.  “Eventually I would have to tell you about my past.  I’ve told you and now we don’t have to talk about it again, okay?”

“No, we don’t have to talk about it, but I would love to hear more about your son.  You never said….”

“That’s because Roman is the only true innocent in this.  I could have left Africa when you did.  Instead, I convinced myself that I was indispensable, that I couldn’t possibly get hurt.  A man was killed because of me.  Not a man I liked, perhaps, but in the end, he was chivalrous.  Another man lost his mind with what they did to him.  I was lucky to get him out, but maybe it would have been better if he had died.  That boy is the only true innocent here.  I aim to make sure he knows how much I love him and how much I need him in my life.  I will never let anything happen to him if I can prevent it.”

Madison was fascinated with how impassioned Deanna had become.  She looked like a fierce mother protector and she had never even considered that this woman could or would be one.  She smiled.  “It’s obvious you love him dearly.  Is that why you always wanted weekends off?” she guessed.

Deanna nodded.  “That’s when he comes home from his school in Santa Barbara.  He is in a private school up there, protected from his cousins and the media that follows the Kearney’s.  I want no gossip to reach him if I can help it.”

“What…what does he know of his father?”

“As much as I do,” Deanna shrugged.  “He knows that his father was not a very nice man and that in the heat of battle people do things they shouldn’t.  He knows he was a soldier and that I don’t know his name.  How can I tell him I don’t know which man he was?” she asked sadly, but quickly centered herself and released the negativity.  “He knows that I love him dearly and would do anything for him.”

Madison smiled.  “We should introduce my kids to him someday soon, okay?”

“That sounds like a fine idea.  Maybe we should take the Waverunners out again?”

“Oh, God, that was so much fun,” Madison remembered.  “They were so jealous.”

“I imagine so, but I loved spending so much time alone with you,
just you
,” she finished huskily.

Madison realized then that Deanna was very adept at hiding her emotions.  Until last night she had no idea that this woman had ever loved her.  To find out that she had loved her way back in Africa and still loved her, soothed any hurt she had.  She leaned in to kiss her.

Just then the passenger side front door opened.  “What the hell are you doing?” a voice raged at Madison.  “You leave
my
children alone with a babysitter overnight, what?  So you can whore your way with a…” he looked past her and realized she was with a woman, “…a WOMAN?  You are with a woman?  What are you now, a dyke?” he roared.

“Scott!” she gasped.  “No, it’s not like that, it’s…” she tried to protest, but he wasn’t listening as he berated her.  He grabbed her arm and tried to drag her from the Rover.  The seat belt caught and she began to fall to the ground from the two counter-pressures.

Deanna was out the driver’s side of the Rover in an instant and ran around the front of the vehicle.  She pulled at Scott, yelling, “Let her go!  You’re hurting her!  Let her go!”

Scott was enraged and backhanded Deanna, not really realizing she was pulling at his arm.  It unbalanced him and the swat he meant towards her instead smacked across her face and nose.  She instantly started to bleed down the silk of her blouse as she fell to the ground.

“SCOTT!  You’ve hurt her!” Madison screamed as she released her seat belt and hopped out to go to Deanna, bending down to look at her.

He was furious and went after Madison.  She lifted an arm to hold him back, but his leg kick went under it and hit her in the ribs, knocking her to the ground and making her lose her breath.  He aimed at the downed Deanna next.

A neighbor tackled him, but not before he got in one good kick at the fallen blonde.  He fought the man who had grabbed him, but by then another neighbor joined in, having been drawn by the shouts.  He never even heard the yells of his children at what he had done.  Finally, the police were there and Scott was in handcuffs.  An ambulance was called and they checked both Deanna and Madison for cuts and bruises.  Deanna had a bad bloody nose and would have a bad bruise where he kicked her, but she refused to go the hospital.  Madison too would have a bad bruise, but that was all.  She was shaking in reaction and Deanna tried to hold her.  Madison, embarrassed by the public display, instead took her children in her arms.

“Do you wish to file charges?” Deanna was asked after the police had all their statements.  Deanna hesitated only a moment before nodding.  Scott was taken away in the back of the police car, still yelling things like “Dyke” at his ex-wife and Deanna.

“Deanna, you can’t do that,” Madison tried to argue.

Deanna couldn’t be budged.  “He attacked me and worse, he attacked you.  You are willing to let him get away with that?”

“Deanna, he is the father of my children,” she tried to plead, but there was no swaying the blonde.  Finally, unable to talk to her, Madison shepherded her children into the house, away from the prying eyes of her neighbors and the gossip that had already started.  She looked back once at the blonde.  Deanna watched her go and couldn’t say a thing.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT