Documentary (25 page)

Kai bent one of the strings and looped the other around it, twisting it into a bow. Dylan
was anxious and ready to have his hands off her before she went crazy. She considered that maybe there was such a thing as being sexually frustrated to death. She flinched when Kai slipped his finger between the horizontal string and her back and raised his eyebrows.

“How’s this one?” he asked. His lips were right at her ear, but his stare was
locked to hers in the mirror.

“It’s fine,” she squeaked as s
he shook her head. His fingers trailed her spine down to the base before he tossed her towel onto her shoulders. She finally tore her eyes away from him, breathing faster than before, when the elevator slipped open, and they both stepped in.

“What floor?” she asked as she used the towel to fluff her hair dry. Kai didn’t answer. When she looked over, he was leaning against the wall, staring intensely at her. It washed her in a flush and sent tingles to every part of her body.
Memories from fooling around on the tour bus needled into her mind, and she needed to get out of this enclosed space with him as soon as possible.

“Kai. What floor?” She spoke louder than before.

“Shit, sorry.” He walked over and pushed the number ten. “1014. Come and bring the camera,” he said when the elevator reopened.

Dylan took a quick shower, blow-dried her hair damp and slipped into her PJ’s before going to Kai’s room. She was nervous about being in there, especially because they seemed to be unable to exercise any manner of self-control around each other for very long, but Ashley’s scaldin
g words were fresh in her mind.

It was a beautiful mini-suite with the bed and common areas separated by a partition that shot out midway across the room from the wall. Dylan didn’t trust herself near the bed so she opted for a loveseat
, and he sprawled across the couch. He had showered but was shirtless, as usual.

“Kai, put a shirt on,” Dylan demanded. “And no more shirtless scenes. I promised Nina I’d make this somewhat wholesome. You get to curse, that’s the compromise.”

He walked around the half-wall and returned without any skin showing. She was a little disappointed, but it was better for his toned down image this way. And her focus.

“How come you don’t have any tattoos?” she asked after she turned on the camera. “I thought that was a rock star rite of passage.”

Kai lay back on the couch with his eyes closed and his fingers locked over his stomach. She moved to the floor directly in front of him, capturing a side view of his supine frame. “I’ve never really understood tattoos. Forcing permanence on something so temporary and fragile. Seems strange.”

“Are you saying I’m strange?” she said, laughing.

“I guess it’s a bit rebellious, too, the forcing permanence part.” Kai twisted his head toward her and opened his eyes. She lost her breath when he looked at her.
If he smiles right now, I’ll be in trouble.
“Very few things stand the chance of becoming immortal and permanent the way the written word does, though. I guess songs are my version of tattoos.” He smiled, and her heart clenched. “Happy?”

“So, the new song went over well. You were worried for nothing,” she said.

Kai shook his head. “I’m never worried for nothing. Maybe the next new song won’t, and there are other things. I overheard Ashley on the phone to Nina. We undersold in some places. My two New York shows… and a few others I have scheduled for next year. So I better enjoy this high while I can. I hope I can keep everyone’s morale up.” He looked so vulnerable she wanted to hug him. He had been so kind to her on the tour bus when she was talking about Mac.

“You want me to turn this off?”
she mouthed, lowering the camera.

He shook his head slightly. “I worry about them…
they’re all dependent on me… my whole crew. I don’t like disappointing them. They took a huge risk staying with me throughout everything. If I let them down… it comes with ramifications. They have families and people they have to worry about. And they’re living their dreams too. I was afraid we would have to cancel shows if we undersold too much. So there’s always worry.” Kai sat up, picked up his acoustic guitar and started playing something she had never heard before. “Speaking of new songs, I got part of one done today. So it’s making its worldwide debut...on camera. It doesn’t have a name yet…” Kai drew his fingers across the strings. “It’s not much. You want to hear it?”

“I do.” Dylan stood and moved back to get him completely in the frame.

Kai cleared his throat and played the opening chord.
“
Ready? It’s not much at all, but here goes.
Last time I saw you, the whole world had broken your heart/ If I could, I’d find a way to collect all the parts/ Just to make you whole again/ Find a way to pull you back from the end/ ‘Cause I—I—I…
There are a lot of I’s here,” he said, speaking briefly instead of singing. “
I’d move mountains and part oceans/ Just for a minute of your smile.”

Dylan blinked before she could control the swell of emotion in her chest and her tears fell. She dropped the camcorder and scrambled to the bathroom. Kai came in right behind her, wrapping her up in his arms.

“It wasn’t really supposed to make you cry. I was trying to tell you that you don’t have to keep it all inside because I am here for you.” Kai squeezed her tighter.

Dylan lifted appreciative eyes to
his. “You were singing about me?” Her heart jumped when she thought about what he had said about immortality through songs. She could barely remember when a guy had bothered to buy her flowers. In such a short time, he was turning out to be much more than she had expected.

Kai held her face. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Even though you’re trying to make me crazy. If I had ripped Zave’s arm off in the pool, you realize I’d be short my drummer, right?” He put his forehead against hers. “And I
need
this tour,” he said, laughing.
“Need
.”

Dylan squeezed him at his sides and realized it was a bad idea.
She was reminded that he was so solid everywhere and so nice to hold on to. “I make you crazy?”

“In the best way possible. And it seems like the wrong time to say this, but I’m really sorry about almost getting us caught on the bus
… but not really. I’m not sorry at all, actually, about what we were doing.” The two of them laughed. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“I would
, too, but we can’t, of course, or we shouldn’t. Ashley pretty much accosted me with her theories earlier.” And they had managed to get through a whole conversation without tearing each other’s clothes off. Even though she really wanted to.
We’re off to a great start.

“She’s a hard ass. I’ll tell her to back off—”

“Thanks. I didn’t like how she said what she said, but she was doing her job. I don’t want any special treatment.” Kai’s hands fell away from her face and hooked around her waist as hers slipped around his neck. His five o’clock shadow brushed her ear, and his fingers pressed a little deeper into her skin. He sighed like he wanted to say something as his hands slid down to her hips. Dylan knew she would never get tired of how it felt to be in his arms: Cared about and appreciated. Keeping her emotional distance from him would be impossible. He was just too sweet. She buried her face in the curve of his neck.
And so damn sexy.
Whenever she was around him, there was scorching heat in her bones, a call to him from deep in her body. Kai’s lips grazed the edge of her jaw and her knees wobbled. He swiveled her hips until her butt rested against the edge of the marble counter, and she knew he was thinking about lifting her to it. Stable, solid surfaces were either going to be a gift or curse for them.

“It was really fucking hot when you bit my shoulder,” he said suddenly. Dylan blushed, first at the statement, and then from the pressure of his erection against her pelvis.

“So you’re into that kind of thing?” she teased.

“I’m into you...” Kai inhaled her hair. “…Biting my shoulder.”

“Kai…you’re making this difficult,” Dylan said from between clenched teeth. Areas of her body responded to the words, and if he kept talking like that, she’d need him to touch them in a moment. Or maybe it was time to go before they did something stupid. She pulled away from the hug and walked back into the room. She picked up the camcorder. “I should get to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kai followed her to the door and opened it to let her out. She heard it shut behind her, but it re-opened when she was down the hall. “…Or you can stay?” Kai said, his voice echoing in the quiet space. When she turned, he smiled. “…As a friend. For real. Can you stay a little longer?”

She didn’t want to leave either. As hard as it was to be around him, she didn’t want to go back to her hotel room. Kai made her feel a way she hadn’t in a long time. Dylan walked back to his room and sat on the couch beside him. “Okay, what’s on your mind?” She folded her legs under her and leaned against the chair arm.

“How come you’re not doing the scavenger hunt this year?” he asked. “Yeah, I checked out your Facebook pictures when you finally accepted my friendship.”

Dylan laughed and shrugged. Both of the previous years, she and her friends had completed and won the school-year-long scavenger hunt in and around San Francisco. It involved a lot of kissing statues, wearing strange clothes in strange places and taking photos with random people. She had even made a short film to go along with it about the joy and disappointment of finding things in life. She missed being involved this year, but it hadn’t seemed like something she should’ve participated in this time around. Someone else was on track to win it this year, even though Dylan had hoped to take the trophy home the entire time she was at CSFC.

“Did you not do it because of your brother’s death?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I guess stuff like that isn’t really part of my life anymore,” she said vaguely, not meeting his gaze. She hoped he would sense her desire to change the subject.

“Tell me about Low and Katie.” Kai picked up the acoustic guitar and strummed a chord. “You’re always on the phone with one of them.”

“If you ever meet her, you can’t call her Katie; it’s reserved for best friends only. They’re
my
Lek.” Dylan touched her chest. “Good people. They haven’t let me push them away, even though I’m going through this rough patch. You’ve got a pretty good group too.”

“Yeah.” Kai absently plucked one string. “Lek and Ribs…
Jamie and Dette… Abe and Wes, too. When I quit singing after
Evernight, the Elliotts got me through that whole shit. We moved to Bali for, like, a year. Straight up just chasing surf.”

“I don’t even wanna know what else you guys were chasing,” she teased, rolling her eyes. “The three of you…
all that dreaminess….”

Kai laughed. “Ah, yes. There’s only one thing Abe and Wes love more than surfing.” Kai started playing a song she didn’t recognize. “I was actually dating Lee back then though.”

Dylan gasped quietly. If her quick calculation was right, he and Yeardley had been together more than two years, maybe even closer to three. “Really? Just her?”

Kai stopped playing and gave her an incredulous look
of offense. “You gotta stay off those websites, baby. I don’t even know half those girls. I always tell people, if someone lined up everyone you’ve
ever
hung out with who was of the opposite sex, regardless of the relationship, everyone you’ve ever dated—seriously and not so seriously—and threw in some randoms, people would think you slept around, too. One of the perks of being a celebrity, I suppose.”

Dylan raised her eyebrows, almost not believing still. “Wasn’t she in California? That’s a real long distance relationship.”

“Yeah, but stability with one person beats just fucking everybody any day of the week, Dyl. Wes Elliott doesn’t believe this but, for me, it’s true. And she visited a lot. We usually never left the room when she did.”

Dylan smiled but that information was
too much
friendship for her. Of course, she knew he had sex (she had more or less witnessed Tiffany’s afterglow), but she didn’t want to think about it. Unless she was thinking about him and herself.

Kai set his guitar down. “You wouldn’t do the long distance thing?” he asked, staring at her.

“I’ve never really thought about it. Every guy I’ve ever dated has just always been… there…” Dylan shrugged as she straightened the waves of her hair between her palms. “…Right where I was, so it never really came up.”

“Makes sense.” Kai nodded and placed his hand on her knee as he stared off at the bedside clock across the room. “
Maybe we should head to bed.” He flashed a quick smile, but he looked anxious to get her out all of a sudden. She was just glad they were finding a way to get close as friends, even if it was somewhat awkward. When Dylan stood, Kai followed her to the door, where she paused.

“Goodnight, Dyl,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“You too. And profit aside, I don’t care what your record label says, Kai. The people who don’t come to your shows…they’re the ones who are missing out. It’s not you.”