Dog Soldiers (31 page)

“
Maybe it is,
”
she said.
“
It
’
s simpler than life.
”

“
Come on.
”
He closed his eyes and laughed.
“
It
’
s just like everything else. This is life.
”

“
Where springs fail not,
”
Marge said.

“
Springs?
”

She arched her back, letting her weight fall on the bed, making the frame creak.

“
Springs fail not,
”
she said.
“
It
’
s a Polish toast. It means
‘to
life.
’”

Hicks laughed weakly.
“
Jesus.
”
He turned over on his stomach and folded his hands between her breasts.
“
It
’
s a poem, you cooze. I read it. It
’
s a poem.
”

She put her face close to his and laughed with her mouth
open as if in surprise.

“
Yes,
”
she said,
“
it
’
s a smack poem.
”

Looking into her eyes,
he suddenly felt a perfect con
fidence. The payoff, whateve
r it was, would take care of it
self. There was no stopping him.

He got up quickly and went to the telephone table. It was littered with dope and debris, the smack in its plastic bag lying beside the phone.

“
This is ignorance,
”
he said, and set about packing it away.
“
This is what they call in the trade
‘
plain view.
’”
When the table was clear and the dope secured, he sat down by the phone with his forehead resting on his palm.
“
I don
’
t know what our chances are. I don
’
t think they
’
re too great. But I
’
m gonna call Eddie Peace.
”

“
Whatever
’
s right,
”
Marge said.

C
onverse had little satisfaction from the lawyer
.
A plantation of fine gray hair hung to shoulder length from the lawyer
’
s bald crown, giving him the look of a mad pinko professor in a vintage Hearst cartoon. When Con verse described his adventures in the motel kitchenette, the lawyer shrugged and smiled in an irritating manner. Con verse had the impression that the lawyer did not like him and did not sympathize with his distress.

“
This is common,
”
the lawyer said.
“
This is the way they operate.
”

The lawyer said that if Converse wanted to approach the authorities with a statement he might indeed do so but that an attorney with better contracts in the district attorney
’
s of
fice might render more valuable assistance. He said that, obviously, Converse should be extremely careful — should not agree to private meetings with anyone unknown to him and should take whatever
steps he was capable of to safe
guard his residence and person. If arrested, the lawyer reminded him, he was entitled to a phone call.

Apparently, the lawyer remarked, Converse believed in rugged individualism, and this was just as well because it would require some very rugged individualism indeed to keep him afloat.

The lawyer used the term
“
afloat
.
”

Converse had salved his ear in
Vaseline
and bandaged it with cotton and gauze. He walked along Van Ness Street, avoiding eye contact. He had spent part of the night on the floor of the motel and the rest in Berkeley, asleep under the devil drawing in Janey
’
s room. In the morning he had gone to the Pacific office and borrowed some of the Thorazine that Douglas Dalton kept handy for delirium tremens. He assumed it helped some.

Thus tranquil, Converse followed the street like a sleep walker to Aquatic Park a
nd sat on a bench among exercis
ing bouncers and topless dancers with sun reflectors at their chins. Some of the girls aroused him and arousal made him think first of Charmian, then of Marge. The urgency of desire surprised him. After a while, he began to feel a peculiar kind of contempt for his own lust and for the women who inspired it — but anger eluded him. He had no anger to bring to bear. In time, he supposed he would lose even fear. He found fearlessness an extremely difficult state to conceive, like the hereafter.

When he had rested for an hour or so, he decided to go and have a talk with June.

The San Frenciscan was a structure of pastel metal blocks built in the form of a wedge so that both grids of its mini mal windows faced the harbor. The view from one angle was of Alcatraz, from the other of Coit Tower and the Bay Bridge. The attendants in the lobby were costumed as Santa Ana
’
s hussars and many were actually Mexican.

June
’
s room was at the end
of an airless immaculate corri
dor; a closed circuit television camera surveyed the hall from a point just above her door.

For quite a while, she declined to open but after he had slid his red and yellow Vietnamese press card under the door she let him in.

“
Why didn
’
t you call up?
”
she asked him. She was fair-haired and freckled with a hardening baby face, wearing tight faded Levi
’
s and a halter with anchors on it. Her voice reminded him of the voice
s of telephone operators who an
swered from Bismarck or Edmonton when he misdialed an area code.

“
What else you got with your name on it?
”

He showed her his passport. There was a color television set in the room tuned to the day
’
s Giant game; the sound was off.

“
How
’
d I ever get mixed up in this happy horseshit?
”
She took a cigarette from a pack on the television set and lit it. She seemed slightly drunk or fatigued.

“
I understand you had my daughter for a while.
”

“
Isn
’
t she all right?
”

“
I hope so,
”
Converse said.
“
I haven
’
t seen her.
”

“
Well, we took good care of her. You ask Bender.
”

Converse went to the blue tinted window and looked out
at
Treasure Island and the bridge.

“
Do you know where Marge is?
”

She widened her Scandian cornflower eyes in annoyance.

“
Don
’
t give me a hard time.
”

“
Understand my position,
”
Converse said. June shook her head,
and turned her back on him. He
saw that there was another room with a second television set in it. A pale blue uniform suit with a flight pin at the breast pocket was spread on its hanger across a bed.

“
What were you doing over there?
”
she asked him.

“
Writing.
”

“
So you
’
re back and your old lady is doing something else. It
’
s not unknown.
”

“
It
’
s awkward for me.
”

She gave him a brief, shrill laugh.
“
Well don
’
t be peasant about it, man. Learn to live with it because some things are more important than boy-girl.
”

“
Boy-girl,
”
Converse said,
“
isn
’
t the trouble.
”

She looked at the bandage over his ear.

“
No?
”

“
First there was the disappointment. Then yesterday somebody burned me over a stove.
”

She put her cigarette out and shook her head quickly with her eyes closed.

“
It
’
s not my problem, John. Don
’
t give me a hard time.
”

“
If this is your idea of a hard time, you haven
’
t met the people I have.
”

“
That
’
s a threat,
”
she said.

“
No, it
’
s not.
”

The walls were beige with silver bamboo leaves painted on them.

“
Is this where you had Janey?
”
he asked her.

“
I don
’
t live here. Who burned you?
”

“
Two guys.
”

“
Freaks?
”

“
More or less.
”

“
I get it,
”
she said.
“
I see.
”

He sat down carefully on the edge of a sofa that matched the walls.

“
If you get it — where
’
s Marge?
”

Her eyelids fluttered. Her eyes looked slightly out of focus as though the effort of being casual was putting her to sleep.

“
Marge is away, man. On vacation, Pee Vee. Guaymas. Rosarita, cha cha cha.
”
She snapped her fingers twice.

“
They
’
re hiding for Christ
’
s sake. I don
’
t know where they are.
”

“
All right,
”
Converse said.

She settled onto the far end of the sofa and looked at her watch.

“
How did Janey end up with you?
”

“
I was doing a favor for a buddy.
”

“
For Ray Hicks?
”

“
Yeah for Ray.
”
She
watched him drowsily and lit an
other cigarette.
“
They didn
’
t screw you. I mean as far as I know they didn
’
t. They got taken off.
”

Converse could not restrain a sigh.

“
They still got the dope though. It
’
s your dope, right?
”

He shrugged without answering.

“
Well, they still got it. Or as far as I know they still got it.
”

He was nodding thoughtfully as though the intellige
nce were of some value to him.

“
Scared?
”

“
Yes, indeed,
”
he said.

“
You seem just like an ordinary guy. Why
’
d you try it?
”

“
We
’
re all just ordinary guys.
”

June laughed.

“
That
’
s what you think. Do you know Those Who Are?
”

“
Those Who Are? Those who are what?
”

“
Forget it,
”
June said.
“
It
’
s a gag.
”

“
It sounds really funny,
”
he said. She looked at him with sympathy.