Don't Break My Heart (Return to Redemption, Book 6) (10 page)

“Did you have a good time dancing with Jamal?” Trisha put
her arm around Haley’s shoulder. “He pulled off some pretty fancy moves out
there.”

“Totally. He promised to teach me the next time I see him.”

“When is that?” Justin asked in a concerned tone.

Haley shrugged. “I dunno. He said he’s buyin’ his uncle’s
car. He suggested maybe he could take me to the movies next week. Can I go?”

Trisha squashed the urge to point out the question should’ve
been phrased as
May
I go. Lindsey had
been an English Lit major. Clearly, Haley had been without her mother to
correct her grammar for too long.

Justin shook his head. “I don’t know how eager I am for you
to ride with such an inexperienced driver.”

Trisha suspected he worried even more about her being alone
in a car with the boy.

“If Jamal drives up to Redemption, I’ll take the two of you
and pick you up.”

“Oh, come on!” She stamped her foot.

“I’m sorry you don’t like it, but I worry about you. That’s
my deal. Take it or leave it.”

“Fine.”

He unlocked her door, handed her the keycard, and hugged
her. Haley then flung her arms around Trisha. “Thank you so much for my new
dress. I love it. I had such a great time today. It felt almost like I was with
my mom.”

A lump swelled in Trisha’s throat, making it difficult to
talk. “You’re welcome, sweetie. I had a good time, too.”

“Maybe we can do it again back in Redemption.”

She swallowed hard and gave a noncommittal, “Maybe.” She
didn’t want to lie to the child, but she had every intention of keeping Haley
at an arm’s length. If she had any hope of avoiding Justin, she couldn’t let
the kid get too attached to her. “Sweet dreams.”

“Can I ride back in the car with you and Uncle Justin
tomorrow?”

“No,” he answered, sparing her from turning Haley down. “You’ll
have a lot more fun on the bus with your friends. You had Trisha to yourself
the whole last half of today. Tomorrow is my turn.”

“Okay,” Haley agreed, her lip sticking out. “G’night.”

As she closed the door, Trisha walked ahead and pressed the
down button.

The elevator’s bell dinged, announcing its arrival. He
stepped in behind her. “Are we going to your room tonight?”

“Justin, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to sleep
together again.”

“You’re right.” He chuckled. “It’s a fantastic idea.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I thought you were being Trisha.”

“Stop it! I’m trying to tell you it’s probably best if we
say good-bye now. You don’t need to ride with me tomorrow.”

“I know I don’t
need
to.
You’re a very capable woman with a GPS. I
want
to spend the day with you tomorrow. And tonight.”

“What if
I
don’t
want to be with
you
?”

“If you claim that, you’ll be lying through your teeth.” He
followed her off the elevator to her room. “What’s going on here? You had your
fun last night, and now you’re running away again?”

Pretty much. “Last night and this morning weren’t just fun.
They were unbelievable. But that’s all I can handle in my life right now.”

“I thought we were gonna enjoy our time together until we
head home.”

“That was the original plan, but you’ve been pushing for
more.” Unfortunately, he hadn’t pushed for quite enough. If he wanted to marry
her, she might feel differently.

“I’ll stop pushing. Just spend tonight and tomorrow with me,
and you won’t hear from me again until you decide you want to call me.”

She would cherish one more night with him. But every time he
kissed her, she fell more and more deeply in love with him.
Again
. And whenever he smiled at her,
she completely lost the ability to think straight.

She’d stupidly thought she might have finally gotten over
him, yet here he was again, worming his way back into her heart. It should’ve
been evident she’d deluded herself when she deliberately chose a sperm donor
with a profile that could’ve been his.

“Please, Trisha.” He flashed his perfect white teeth at her.
“I’ll make it worth your while.”

There was that damn smile again.

She had no doubt Justin would put her needs first. He always
had. She closed her eyes, blocking out his too-handsome face. “Okay. But I’m
holding you to your promise. When we get back to Redemption tomorrow—”

“I swear. I don’t even have your number, so I can’t call you
even if I want to.” He took her key card and opened the door.

She’d never had a need for an unlisted number, so it would
be easy enough for him to look it up on the Internet.

He laid the card on the dresser and sat on the bed. “Thank
you for what you did for Haley today.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I didn’t do it for you.”

“I know. I didn’t realize you bought her dress. I thought
she’d used her gift card to buy it. I’d like to reimburse you, if you’ll let
me. I could tell it cost quite a bit.”

“That’s not necessary. I consider it a belated Christmas
present.” She sank onto the mattress next to him. “I’ve missed fifteen years of
giving her gifts. She reminds me so much of Lindsey at her age. Smart-mouthed
and sassy. It was like having a piece of my friend back again.”

“You don’t have to tell
me
about the child’s smart mouth. I’m usually on the receiving end. She had her
mother for over thirteen years. She couldn’t help but pick up some of Lindsey’s
mannerisms.”

“It’s not just the way Haley acts or her attitude. She’s the
spitting image of her mother. Her voice and laugh even sound the same.”

He sat staring at the carpet for several moments until the
silence became downright awkward.

“Do you want to watch a little TV or maybe rent a movie
before we go to sleep?”

He shook his head. “I just want to be with you and hear more
about what you’ve been doing all these years. And what your plans for the
future are.”

Her plans? She could tell him about the baby, but that
disclosure would generate a lot of questions she didn’t feel like answering. It
was easier to avoid the subject.

“As I told you, I’m fixing up the house I bought. It’s not
very big, so in a year or two, I’d like to add a family room and another bath.”

As the baby got older, she would need more space for him to
play. She had no idea why, but she always thought about her child as a boy.
Possibly because she hoped he would look like her donor’s childhood photo.

“I could draw up the plans,” he suggested. “No charge. I’ll
even provide a construction crew at cost.”

“Thanks. Maybe when I’m ready, I’ll take you up on your
offer.” She stretched her arms over her head. “It’s late, and I’m pretty tired.
I’m gonna wash up and get ready for bed.”

“Do you want company?” he asked, reminding her of their
erotic shower that morning.

“Truthfully? No. I’d like a chance to unwind alone.”

“Okay.” He stood and picked up her key card from the
dresser. “I’ll take a quick shower in my room, pack my bag, and be back
lickety-split.”

Lickety-split turned out to be a little longer than Justin
had suggested, so she finished before he returned. She climbed into bed and
flipped on the television. The next thing she knew, she woke up cuddled against
him at dawn.

Great. She’d fallen asleep again. What did she expect,
staying up until all hours at three months pregnant?

He held her tighter and dotted her face and neck with
feather-light kisses. He stroked her hair and rolled over her, gazing down at
her. He smiled, and her heart melted as he reverently kissed her everywhere but
on the mouth—her face, her neck, her ears, her breasts, gently caressing each
spot when he moved to the next. The way he worshipped her body left a lump in
her throat and stripped her emotions bare.

She needed him to take her hard and fast so she could keep
it purely physical. She spread her legs, urging him to enter her, but he held
back and continued loving her. “I knew I missed you all these years, but I
never realized how much,” he whispered in her ear. “Thank you for giving me the
chance to say good-bye.”

He sounded as if their lovemaking would give him closure.
Unfortunately, his gentle caresses had the opposite effect on her and left her
grieving over the prospect of returning home to her empty bed.

“Thank
you
,” she
whispered. “You’ve made these last few days wonderful for me.”

He didn’t say another word. Instead he rolled on a condom
and pressed himself into her, gently rocking his hips at a leisurely pace, as
if he hoped to extend their lovemaking as long as possible.

She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him good-bye,
silently telling him how much she loved him and always had.

While Trisha checked out after breakfast, Justin carried
Haley’s suitcase to the chartered bus bound for Redemption and hugged her
good-bye. After she climbed aboard, he slapped his brother lightly on the back.
“Hey, thanks for looking after her today.”

“No problem. If your truck’s still in the library’s parking
lot when we get back,” Nick told him, “I’ll take her home with me.”

“Thanks. I’m hoping to be late.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“That’ll mean I talked Trisha into letting me buy her lunch before dropping me
off.”

Jamal walked past and waved to him, “Bye, Mr. Riverá.”

Justin nodded to the boy as he leapt onto the bus. “Where’s
he going? He didn’t ride up here with us.”

“He talked his chaperone, Cal, into letting him take your
seat. Cal’s gonna pick him up at the library on the way back to Trenton.”

“Great.” He released a sarcastic snort.

“You don’t like him? He’s seems like a good kid.”

“I do. I guess I’m just freaked out by the idea of Haley
dating anyone.”

Nick chuckled. “Join the club, Dad.”

Justin glanced around to make sure none of the bus’s windows
were open or any passengers were still arriving. Despite being alone with his
brother, he lowered his voice. “I think I’m also worried about her fitting in
with Jamal’s family and friends.”

“You mean the
black
side of his family and their friends.”

“Yeah.”

“He fits in all right with Haley’s friends and family,” Nick
pointed out. “Dani and Ryan both really like him, and Sammy and I think he
seems responsible.”

“Our family is a little more open-minded than a lot of
people. I know what it’s like to be rejected by bigots.”

“What do you mean you were
rejected by bigots
? I have the same ethnic roots,
mi hermano
. Granted, I’ve run across a
few less enlightened people in my life, but I’ve never felt persecuted for my
heritage.”

“That’s because girls’ parents hated you simply because you
had a bad rep.”

“You never dated anyone in high school besides Sammy, so
whose parents.... ” Nick did a double take. “You don’t mean Trisha’s family?”

“Her father didn’t want his little girl mixed up with a
Chicano. It’s why she bailed on our relationship. She was pregnant, and Daddy
wanted her to have an abortion.”

He would’ve married her back then if she’d told him about
their baby. He would never know if she would’ve stayed had her father been
amenable to her keeping their child.

Nick’s eyebrows shot up. “
Your
baby, I assume.”

Justin swallowed hard. “Yeah. She lost it a few weeks after
she left college.”

“I’m sorry.” His brother squeezed his shoulder. “Really.”

“I never knew about it until two days ago.”

Nick jabbed his thumb into his chest. “Hey, I know what it’s
like to lose a baby. Whether you were aware of it before or not, it can’t help
but hurt a little now that you
do
know.”

“It does. It also made me regret a decision I made when Marc
got sick.”

“What decision?”

Justin stalled, rubbing the back of his neck. Hell, who else
could he confide in, if not his brother? “Uhhh, I realized that caring for
Haley would probably keep me from getting seriously involved with a woman for a
while. By the time she goes to college and I meet and fall for someone, I may
be close to forty. I’m not sure I want to be just starting a family at that
age.”

“I hear you. I’m older than you, and Sammy’s talking about
wanting another baby in a few years. After that, I’m done. I know a lot of
people over forty have babies, but they didn’t start their families at only
twenty.” Nick narrowed his gaze at him. “Don’t tell me you got snipped.”

“No. Of course not, you idiot.” He smacked his brother’s
arm. “I might still decide I want to have kids someday. I simply donated to a
sperm bank for a couple of months last summer—just in case. I figured, if I
might not have children, at least I can leave something of myself in this world
and help some infertile couple while I’m at it.”

“Seriously?”

“I know. Really stupid. I wasn’t thinking straight at that
point. Marc’s death got me dwelling on my own mortality and shit.”

“I don’t think it was stupid. I’m just surprised, although,
I can understand how you feel. It’s nice to know some of me will live on in
Dani and Christopher.” Nick looked at him askance. “So why does learning you
once lost a baby make you regret becoming a donor?”

“After Trisha told me, I started thinking about the child I
never knew about or got to hold. Now, it’s bothering me that there might be
kids of mine out there that I’ll never meet. My head was totally messed up
after losing Marc.”

“If you’re having second thoughts, you could always buy back
your semen.”

He hadn’t thought of doing that. “You know, that’s not a
terrible idea.”

The driver started the bus’s engine as Jake jogged past them
to join his wife who’d boarded earlier. “If you’re comin’, let’s go, guys!”

Nick waved as he stepped onto bus. “We’ll talk more later.”

As Justin turned back toward the hotel, Trisha pulled up in
Frankie’s silver Corolla. He climbed into the passenger’s seat. “I’m sorry I
didn’t come back sooner to pack the car. I got stuck in a conversation with my
brother.”

“That’s okay,” she assured him. “Jake insisted on putting
the bags in the trunk. I don’t know why men think women are helpless.”

“We don’t. Jake’s a gentleman. To be honest, I think a lot
of women are
more
capable.”

She smiled sideways at him. “You do, do you?”

“Maybe they’re not physically stronger, but they sure as
hell multitask better than men. I could never do the laundry, make phone calls,
pay the bills, and take care of a screaming baby, all at the same time.
Look,”—he pointed at the GPS—“You even have this thing programmed already.”

“Our brains are just wired differently.” She pulled out of
the parking lot. “So what were you and Nick talking about?”

Oh, crap. She would have to ask.

He glanced over at the car’s fuel gauge. “It looks like we
need gas,” he said, sidestepping her question. “We’d better stop before we go
too far. I’ll buy.”

“Okay.” She adjusted her rearview mirror, and when he didn’t
say anything further, she said, “Well?”

“Well what?”

“What were you and Nick discussing?”

“Oh,
uhh
, this and
that. Nothing important.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Why do I feel like you don’t want to
tell me?”

“Maybe I don’t.”

“Then just say it’s none of my business.”

He turned and stared out the side window. “We were talking
about you. Okay?”

“What about me?”

“I told my brother I got you pregnant back in college and
that when I found out you’d lost my baby it made me rethink some decisions I’ve
made.”

“Oh.” She stopped for a red light and glanced over at him.
“Do you mind telling me what you’ve changed your mind about?”

Yes
, he minded.
“It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“If you don’t think telling you about our baby made me
uncomfortable, then you—”

“Fine.” He tossed his hands up. “Seeing as you don’t want to
see me after today, I guess it doesn’t matter what you think of me.” He spent
the next few minutes explaining exactly what he’d told Nick about why he’d done
what he had. “Anyway,” he said, finishing his story, “after Marc died, it
seemed
like a good idea.” He glanced
over at Trisha, whose knuckles had turned white on the steering wheel.

“What’re you so tense about?” He reached over and kneaded
her neck. “Would you like me to drive?”

“No, I’m fine.” She rotated her shoulders a few times. “Just
for the record, I don’t think you’re weird for wanting to help people have
children. Did you—
uhh
—have to trek
into Philly every week to donate?”

“Actually no. There’s a local cryopreservation center about
twenty minutes away in Doylestown.”

The car swerved a little. “Sorry. I thought I saw a pothole.
I think Annie mentioned that place at the wedding reception when we were
talking about Tom Foster.

“She did. I nearly choked on my champagne.”

“Really? The same place, huh? What a coincidence.”

“Anyway, Nick suggested buying my sperm back.”

“Did they pay you for it?”

“I couldn’t take money for something like that. I told them
to use whatever they were supposed to give me to help some infertile couple.
But they have to do a lot of expensive pre-testing to qualify a donor, so I
can’t expect them to just give my sperm back without paying for the tests.”

“I suppose not.”

“I think I
am
gonna tell them I changed my mind, though. I had to be crazy to make such an
impulsive decision while I was so bummed out about Marc.”

“What if they’ve already had a request for your semen?”

“It’s been less than six months. I can’t imagine they get
very many couples looking for a Latino donor.”

“You never know.” Trisha shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”

He heaved a sigh. “If that’s the case, then I guess I’ll
have to resign myself to a life wondering if I have a child out there.”

“Yeah,” she said in distracted tone. “I guess so.”

“There’s a gas station.” He pointed ahead to the side of the
road.

“Thanks.” She pulled the car in and parked next to a pump.
“Would you mind filling the tank while I run to the ladies’ room?”

“Already? Didn’t your mother teach you to go before you
leave?” he teased as he climbed out of the car.

“I have a small bladder.”

Obviously. For the last three days, it seemed like she went
every two hours.

He filled the tank, and just as he finished replacing the
nozzle, Trisha returned and opened the passenger’s door. “If you don’t mind,
I’ll take you up on that offer to drive. I’m having a little trouble
concentrating this morning.”

“Sure.” He opened the driver’s door and slid behind the
wheel.

As he pulled back onto the road, Trisha dug a pack of
peppermint Lifesavers from her purse and offered him one.

“Thanks.” He popped the candy into his mouth.

“It’ll be a shame if you don’t have kids of your own. You’re
a wonderful dad to Haley.”

“Right.” He snorted softly. “That’s why she jumps on every
opportunity to remind me I’m
not
her
father.”

“You shouldn’t take it personally. She misses Marc, and I
suspect she feels it would be disloyal to his memory to think of you taking his
place. But there isn’t a question in my mind that she loves you. When we went
shopping yesterday, you were all she talked about.”

“I’ve known Pinky since.... well, you know, from when she
was in Lindsey’s womb.”

Trisha chuckled. “I can’t believe you call her that.”

“Since Marc and I were business partners, I spent more time
with Haley than I did my own niece—and I saw Dani
a lot
.”

“It’s obvious you’re close to both of them.”

“Marc fell apart after Lindsey’s accident. He could barely
take care of himself, let alone his daughter. So I became her main support.
Right around the time her father began to recover from losing her mom, the
doctor discovered his lung cancer.”

“He didn’t smoke when I knew him.”

“He never did afterward, either. They believe it was from
asbestos exposure while renovating older buildings. Anyway, I moved in with
them, supposedly to take care of Marc, but really to look after Haley. We
figured she needed a transition period.”

“Good idea.” She turned the heat down and glanced at him
sideways. “So how’d you and Marc end up going into business together?”

“That was always our plan. We were both majoring in
architecture. Then Haley was born six weeks premature and had to stay in the
hospital for nearly a month. Money got tight, so Marc quit school and started
working as a laborer for a construction company. He discovered he really loved
the job. While I finished school, he qualified for his general contractor’s
license.”

“Sounds like a match made in heaven.”

“It was. I was in charge of designing, making architectural
changes, and managing the sales and administrative staff. Marc oversaw the
construction sites and managed the workers and subcontractors.”

“You must be awfully busy now, dealing with his half of the
business.”

“I am. I expect to be pulling all-nighters to catch up when
I get home. It’s tough on Haley.”

Apparently Doc Foster had contacted Danvers right after the
wedding, because Mike had called Justin’s cell phone the previous night, eager
to set up a meeting. Justin had scheduled a lunch with him and Mike’s parents
for Monday.

“If negotiations go well, there’s a good chance I’ll be
merging my business with another builder’s. Unfortunately, if the deal goes
through, I’ll be busier than ever. I’ve been offered a huge contract to design
and build an entire school campus.”

“Then it’s probably a good thing we’re not planning to
continue seeing each other.” She chuckled. “It doesn’t sound as if you’d have
the time even if I wanted to.”

“I’d
find
time.”
He had no idea how. He just knew he wanted the chance to try to make a
relationship work with her.

Every time she infuriated him with her insistence that he
shouldn’t call her, he couldn’t help thinking about Pink’s song,
True Love
.

He definitely wanted to strangle Trisha and kiss her at the
same time. He’d felt this emotional tug of war since the day they met. So
whether he wanted to admit it or not what he felt
must be true love
.

~*~

Trisha celebrated New Year’s Eve alone, stuffing herself on
a pizza with the works and toasting the holiday with club soda and grape juice,
instead of the wine spritzer she really wanted.