Don’t Deny Me: Part Three (4 page)

Mick knew this song. It was from the Dubliners’ first album, before they got signed to a major label. It had been written while the band was trying to find its voice and wasn’t typical of the band’s style. It was about love and loss and heartbreak, and once, Mick remembered, Alice had burned a copy of it onto a CD and sent it to him along with a short, viciously sad letter telling him she never wanted to see him again.

It had been the last thing she sent him.

Facing him, Alice met his gaze in that steady way she always had, not looking away. Her eyes glittered with blue and green reflections from the lighting. She wasn’t crying, but he pulled her close to him anyway. He couldn’t take away what had happened in the past, so he did the only thing he could; he held her close and tight and breathed her in and hoped it would be enough to stop her thinking about what had been and start her thinking about what could be.

When the song ended, she squeezed him hard and stepped away. “Gonna run to the bathroom.”

By the time she got back, the band was heading into an encore. When she asked him if he wanted to get out of there before the rest of the crowd, Mick agreed. They made it through the doors and to the parking garage before the rest of the traffic hit.

“Are you hungry or anything?” he asked as he navigated out of the city and onto the highway.

Alice, who’d been quiet since leaving the club, shook her head. “No. Let’s just go back to your place, okay?”

That had been the idea on his mind all night, but again, he didn’t want to seem like he was making it all about getting her into bed. “Sure. If that’s what you want.”

“If it’s what
you
want,” Alice said. “I guess I could just go back to my place. If
that’s
what you want.”

Mick bit back his irritation. “You can go home if you want. Or we can go back to my place. Whatever you want.”

“I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do,” Alice said sharply.

“I want you to come back to my place!”

She looked at him then. “Good! Because that’s what I want to do!”

It felt like half a fight, and he didn’t know why they were heading that direction, but he did know enough to shut up about it after that. Alice turned on the radio, so at least the drive to his house wasn’t too awkward, though it was quiet. By the time they got there, she was even singing along under her breath.

Inside, he offered her a drink, but she declined. Same to food. It wasn’t early, but it wasn’t late, either, not by Friday night standards.

“Want to watch a movie or something?” Mick asked, trying to figure out what he could do to make her happy.

Alice shook her head and gave him a look from the corner of her eye. “Do
you
want to watch a movie?”

“No,” he said, deciding to be bold. “I want to take you upstairs and get my mouth between your legs until you scream my name.”

A low, raw noise slipped out of her. Just like that, heat blazed between them. He had her in his arms half a minute after that. Somehow, she jumped. He lifted. Her legs went around his waist, his hands beneath her ass. If they’d been close to a table or a counter he’d have seated her on it, but all he could do was take a few unsteady steps toward the stairs.

“Shit, Alice, I’m going to drop you,” he muttered into her mouth as he put one foot on the bottom step.

They both moved, ending up with her sitting and him between her legs. Arms tangled. Mouths sliding every place they could get to. She broke the kiss with a gasp, a hand on his chest to push him back.

“Upstairs,” she said. “Bed.”

She got to her feet and moved, Mick on her heels. She took her shirt off as she walked, tossing it at him along with a sultry glance over one shoulder that had his tongue lolling out like a cartoon dog. Her bra came next, showing off those perfect tits, though she covered them with her hands and gave him a coy raise of her brows.

In his bedroom, more kissing. More hands. More tongue. She urged him to tear off his long-sleeved shirt, then let out a laugh at the sight of the T-shirt he wore beneath.

“You and layers.” She shook her head. “Get naked faster!”

Mick was happy to oblige. Alice fell back onto the bed, lifting her hips so he could tug off her jeans, though neither of them had remembered to take off her boots first. Laughing, they struggled, and he paused to soak in, once more, how truly fucking beautiful Alice was.

“What?” she asked self-consciously.

Mick shook his head and finished shucking out of his jeans and briefs. Her gaze dropped to his cock, hard as iron now. Fuck, he loved the way her eyes went all dreamy when she looked at him.

“I love watching you get turned on,” Mick said.

She looked at his face, mouth open as though to say something, but all she did was lick her lips. Then slowly, deliberately, she moved back on the bed and let her thighs fall open. One hand drifted along her inner thigh to stroke a fingertip along her pussy. Then, oh fuck, she stuck out her tongue to lick the same fingertip. Her eyes never left his.

Mick knew an invitation when he got one. In a heartbeat, he was between her legs. Hands slipping beneath her ass to lift her close so he could feast on her. At that first long lick, she gave a low cry. When he found her clit and let the flat of his tongue stroke over it, her hand went to the top of his head.

He loved it when he made her react this way. He loved turning her on. And hell yeah, Mick loved making Alice come.

He flicked his tongue over her slick flesh until she cried out again. Then he moved up the bed, rolling onto this back and pulling her along with him until she ended up straddling his face. Much better, now she could ride his mouth and tongue, really getting herself off, and all he had to do was lay back and enjoy every second of it.

Mick closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in every smell, every taste of her. Alice moved on his mouth. Slowly at first, then faster. Her hand reached behind her to stroke his cock, and the arch of her back pressed her pussy harder against his mouth. He was drowning in her and didn’t care; all that mattered was how good this felt.

When she started to shake, he knew she was close. Her stroking hand faltered, edging him. Mick gripped her hips to keep her from moving off him. He wanted her to finish right there, right on his mouth, he needed to feel her come on his tongue. Just. Like. That.

She shouted his name, hoarse. Her pussy throbbed and pulsed under his tongue. He drank her in, savoring every second of her climax, his balls aching for release. He protested with a groan when she moved off his face.

Alice laughed, low and throaty, but her giggle turned to a groan when she seated herself on him. For a moment, neither of them moved. Breathing hard, she looked down at him. Mick ran his hands up her body to cover her breasts, and when she reacted with a sigh and another of those dreamy looks, he pinched her nipples lightly.

“Oh,” Alice said. “Yeah. That. Again.”

So he did it again. And again, when she asked. When she started to move on him, Mick gave himself up to everything. The slow, building pressure in his balls. The sharp sting of her nails digging into him.

He wanted to fuck her forever, but he wasn’t going to last more than another minute. Alice moved faster, focusing on his face now. She looked determined. Riding him. Responding to his reactions.

“Come for me, baby,” Alice said like he’d be giving her a gift.

Mick gave her what she wanted. Pleasure exploded through him, so fierce he was sure he knew what dying felt like. There was nothing else but this ecstasy. Nothing more than the feeling of her body gripping his, urging him to the edge and hurtling him over it. In that moment, there was nothing else for him but Alice.

She collapsed on top of him, her mouth on his throat and her hair a delicious tangle all over his face. His arms went around her, holding her close. When she finally rolled off him to flop, spread eagled on the bed, he could barely muster the strength to move. But he had to. He needed to look at her face. It was the last sight he wanted in his vision before he fell asleep.

“What?” Alice said when she noticed him staring. She rolled to face him. “What?”

“That was fun.”

She smiled, but only after a second or so, as though she hadn’t quite been certain of how she wanted to react to what he said. Then she moved in close and kissed his mouth. She took a fingertip and pressed it to each eye, closing them.

“Sleep,” she whispered, and he gave her that, too.

* * *

Hello, gorgeous. I had to leave before you got up. I started the coffee for you and fixed that squeaking drawer in your bathroom. See you later.

—Mick to Alice

* * *

Dayna had pinged Alice online that morning, and with the barest amount of prompting had admitted that she’d been with Paul the night before. Alice had immediately invited her to lunch. There were conversations you simply couldn’t have in a text window.

“The sex was amazing,” Dayna said. “It’s always amazing, even when I’m wracked with guilt about it.”

“What do you feel guilty about?”

“Jay.” Dayna looked sad. “I know he’s in love with Paul as much as I am. I think sometimes that if I weren’t around, Paul would maybe make a real effort with him. Make it work.”

Alice thought about that. Jay’d told her he’d finally broken it off with Paul. He was dating a new guy, a few of them, in fact. He wasn’t happy about the breakup, but really, who ever was, even when it was the best choice?

“If Jay weren’t around, do you think Paul would make a real effort to make it work with you?”

Dayna looked faintly surprised, then frowned. “He got a phone call while we were watching TV, and he got up to take it in the other room. It might’ve been Jay, though I’ve heard him talking to Jay before, and I don’t think it was. I think he was talking to another woman. So, do I think if Jay weren’t around that Paul would make the effort? I don’t know. I guess not. But then he calls me up and he knows all the right things to say, and he knows just where to touch me, and the next thing I know, we’re in bed.”

“I’m the last person to tell you not to give in to a magic cock,” Alice said. “Believe me, I get it. Especially after a long, long dry spell, finding that person who makes everything work just right is super hard to give up. Even when you know you should.”

“
Oh,
really? Are you talking about that guy you met the last time we went out? Bill?” Dayna stirred sugar and cream into her coffee and set the spoon on her plate before giving Alice a significant look.

Alice laughed and shook her head.

“No way. Mick?”

Alice smiled.

Dayna laughed. “Wow. You guys. Again. Kind of gives a girl hope.”

“It’s either going to be the greatest love story ever told, or the greatest tragedy.” Alice sipped her own coffee and contemplated ordering cheesecake. Not that she needed it or was even that hungry after the giant salad she’d had for lunch, but because … cheesecake.

“Thanks for meeting me.”

Alice looked up at Dayna’s off tone. “Sure.”

“I just needed to talk to someone about stuff. And nobody knows like you do, about everything.” Dayna took a deep breath. “And look, I know Jay’s your friend …”

“I love Jay, and we’ve been friends for a million years,” Alice said, “but you’re my friend, too.”

“And you don’t like Paul.”

Alice couldn’t deny that, not exactly. “I like Paul just fine. I don’t like the way he treats the people who love him so much.”

“And you don’t understand why we do.” Dayna turned her cup in her hands and looked sad.

“Honestly, I don’t understand why anyone falls in love with anyone,” Alice said somewhat sourly.

Dayna looked surprised. “Uh-oh. Sounds like that’s heading more toward tragedy than love story.”

Alice was silent for a moment while she tried to put her feelings into words. She thought about seeing Mick at Bernie and Cookie’s house for the first time after so long. That first weekend, the kissing, the touching. The passion. Then his phone call, opening the door to him, his declaration. All the months that had passed since then.

“It’s like you’re elated, right? You get this high from being around the other person. Whatever it is, chemistry or whatever, you get a zing.”

“Yeah,” Dayna said with a sort of dreamy sigh. “The zing.”

“But you can’t be high forever. You have to come down, sometime. And the higher you were, the harder it is to hit the ground.”

Dayna waved to the server. “Deep philosophical questions need dessert. Two chocolate cheesecakes with strawberries, please.” To Alice, she said, “But that’s why people keep falling in love. Because it feels so good when you’re up.”

“I was totally and completely in love with him. That first time. God.” Alice shivered at the memory of it. “So caught up. Everything he did or said. I couldn’t get enough of him. The sex was great. And he could make me laugh the way no man ever has. I was so gone for him.”

“And now?”

Alice chewed the inside of her cheek for a second, thinking. “The sex is still great. Better, even, though I would never have imagined that could be. We still talk for hours, and that’s great. So long as we’re not talking about us. Then all of a sudden it’s ‘can you hear me now?’”

Dayna laughed. “I’ve had that conversation myself.”

“So why can’t I just go along with it? Have fun, like he says? I do have fun with him,” Alice said in a low voice. “He still makes me laugh harder than anyone else.”

“But … ?” Dayna prompted.

“But I haven’t forgotten how much he made me cry, too. And I
am
older. I know myself better now. A lot of what I put up with when I was twenty-three, I wouldn’t put up with now. I deserve better than to settle for half measures or someone who doesn’t listen to me or make me important. I’m trying hard to put it all in perspective. That’s all. Keep my expectations reasonable.” Alice laughed ruefully. “Look, I know that you can’t depend on any one person to make you happy, but damn, it’s not good to be with someone who makes you sad.”

Dayna looked stunned. “Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Yes. That, all over. That, ten times. Paul never makes me feel important, and he sure as hell makes me feel sad.”