Don't Let Me Die In A Motel 6 or One Woman's Struggle Through The Great Recession (10 page)

So yo
u
can see that in this story, there are no Hollywood vill
ains, not among the people I kne
w.
We wer
e all
just
fellow travelers on the
storm
-tossed Ship of Fools.

There followed a period of relative peace, except for the phone calls from Nigel.
Here is a typical example:

“Hello, Amy?”

“Yes, Nigel.
You called
me.”

“How’s Aurora?”

“She’s
fine
.
She’s at the
movies
with a friend.”

“A girlfriend?”

“Yeah, uh…sure.”

“Did you take her there?”

“I did.
And I’m going to pick her up.”

”Before dark, I hope.”

“She’s indoors.”

“What’s she seeing?”

“
Harry Potter
.”  I lied.

“Does she call me Dad?”

“Well…no.”

“That’s your fault.”

“
I’m sorry
?”

“
You
don’t call me Dad.”

I sighed.

“In fact,
her hostility toward me is all because of you
.”

“Hello, I’m not God!
I can’t control other
people.”

“Did you hear
that Seattle is getting a new viad
uct?”

“
What?
Uh, no.”

“It’s going to be
a new road
with
wider lanes
, and you can get there by taking the
554
bus to the
99
.”

“That’s fascinating.”

“I really wish you’d come back to Seattle.”

“Nigel, I’ve told you a hundred times – I don’t like it there.”

“It’s not that bad.
They’re building an upscale
mall in Bellevue.
”

“I don’t like
the weather.
”

“It would be better for Aurora.”

“
Why
?
Because
you’re
up there?”

“Los Angeles is a vast,
terrible
city.
It’s simply too big.”

I tried not to laugh.
“OK.”

“There is a very dangerous element down there.”

“And you think that Seattle is
Valhalla
?
That
there are no gangs or murders?
”

“There are more people who speak English.”

“All of Aurora’s friends speak English.”

“But
Pico Pico
(
her
high
school
)
is
93%
Latino.”

“So?”
This is when my
Russian temper
flared
.
My Grandma, who had
otherwise
been
a
nice
lady
, had
had
a hatred of blacks and we
’d
sparred over this even when I was
little
.
Once,
I’d
even driven her from
the house.

“That school is crap.
Aurora can get a better education here.”

“But she’s a terrible student.
What does it matter if she’s in a
top
school?”

“
I need to take
charge
of her education, like I did last year.”

“
I’m not
an idiot,
OK?
”

“Did you know that Seattle has the most educated workforce in the country, outside of Silicon Valley?”

“
And most of them are out of work.
Microsoft
’s
laid off
5,000
.
”

“Everyone here thinks that
you’re
to blame for Aurora being taken from me.”

“Who’s everyone?
You and the
c
lerk
at
Krispy Kreme
?”

“Must you be so horrible?!
My parents hate you, of course.
”

I put on my
thick Hollywood skin
.
“Nigel, what do you want?”

“Can you send
me $200
?
I need to take
the dog
to the groomers.
And I need a new pair of shoes.
Mine have holes at the bottom.
”

I sighed.
“Alright.”
Later, the lady at the b
ank would
commend me for sending money to
my son.
 
“
Are you trying to find a job
?”

“I’m volunteering at Mountains To Sound Greenway.
We’
re clearing blackberries from
Cougar
Mountain.
”

“That’
s fabul
ous, but
I’m talking about a job.
That pays
money
.”

“There’s nothing out there right now.
Besides, I always do horribly on an interview.”

He was right
.
Once Nigel op
ened his mouth, his hir
ability
sunk to zero.
He’d told liberal, ex-hippy librarians that he believed in
Internet
censorship; that the head of a film company was spending too much on travel.
Nigel had the
incalcu
lable
gift of telling people exactly what they
didn’t
want to hear.
It was like
Chorus Line’s
Dance 10, Looks 3. In this case: IQ 10, EQ 3.

“There should be a special category for people like me.”

“
How so
?”

“Those who wish to contribute to society, but not for monetary gain.”

“Yes, that job is filled.
I
believe
it’s called Prince Of Wales.”

“Did I mention that the 550 is expanding its route?”

“I really don’t care.”

“Does Aurora call me Dad?”

“You just asked that five minutes ago!”

“
You’re
turning her against me!
Everybody says so!”

CLICK.

Remember
these calls came once, thrice, ten times a day.
I told him not to call me at work.
He did, repeatedly.
I told him
not to email
my
sister
,
since it upset
her.
Again,
he
continued
.

“I don’t care!” he would yell when I
busted him
.
Like Aurora, he was completely beyond my control.
Was there anyone in my life who didn’t have a
major
DSM?
(
from
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
).

Mine was DSM-IV, 309.28 - Adjustment Disorder With Mix
ed Anxiety and Depressed Mood.
Mixed Anxiety? 
I’ll have
mine with
a twist of lime
.

“I’d like to see him in jail.
I can put him there.
I can.” Aurora was n
othing if not
confident.

I didn’t have these fantasies, but Nigel’s jackhammer-like
obsession with Aurora, his excoriating of the
D
C
FS
, me, her, and the world, grew boring after the tenth time,
and numbing after
the hundredth.
 
He was a
Novocain
Of the Soul.

Aurora’s hatred of Nigel
took
on
fantastic proportions.
I absolutely
couldn't blame her
.
When
they were
together in North Bend, he had, for
some reason,
put her rabbit
outside
in his cage
.
The next
morning,
he was stiff as a board.
He wasn’t used to that kind of cold.

“Oh well,”
Nigel
had
told
her
.
“N
atural attrition.”

When I heard, I called him,
screaming like mad Bertha Mason
in the attic.

“
What kind of thing is that to say
about a beloved pet
?!”
I was
outside The Improv
on Melrose,
ready to audition.
For some reason, I didn’t feel funny.

“Beloved!” he snorted.
“S
he never even looked at him!”

“Is that a reason to kill?!”

“Well, I didn’t think—“

My voice rose
so that only bats could hear
.
“That’s the problem!
YOU DON’T THINK!
YOU NEVER THINK!!”
I
hung up, hoarse but happy, and strode into the
comedy club.

There was another
episode
so incredible – and
which
so presaged the future
– that
it must be relayed
, Dear Reader.
Slip on your
Kevlar vest
,
‘
cause this one’s a doozy.

They were living in the
I
ssaquah house,
in a tony
equestrian neighborhood
.
Aurora liked to
walk to her friends
’
to see if they were home.
When I was young
–
When Nixon Ruled The Earth
–
I
would do
the
same,
rooting out
my
pals
for a study break
.
We would go swimming, watch TV,
ride our bikes
.
You know –
the
stuff
that kids do.

For Nigel,
who’d never had friends,
her
being out of his sight
was more than his
DSM
could handle
.
So one
afternoon
, he ran
down the driveway
after her, yelling down the block.

“You can’t just walk
the streets
alone!
”
He
caught up and
grabbed her arm
violently.
“
What
do you think you are
–
a common
whore
?!
SLUT
!”
She was then fourteen, and a virgin.

When
Aurora told me
, I was sick, and so was my Mom.
T
his
was his idea of Parenting,
a concept he
exhorted to anyone within earshot.
His supporters knew him as Poor Dad – the guy being screwed over by me and the D
C
FS.
They never got to see – as Aurora and I
did
daily –
his
nasty
, brutish side.
When
ever
he
had a
tantrum
, he
would tell her
to “Piss off!” and “Fuck off!”
Not exactly Father O
f T
he Year.