Don't Look Back (9 page)

“Are you okay?” he asked, clearly concerned.

I hardly heard him as I pictured Trevor waiting on my front porch, fury in his eyes.

The knock sounded again, louder this time.

“Do you want me to get that?” Marcus asked.

Visualizing Trevor’s fury turning into outright murderous rage at seeing Marcus answer my door, I quickly shook my head. “No, that’s okay.” I dashed out of the room, down the stairs, and to the door before Marcus could move. Looking through the peephole, I saw a stranger standing there. Relief cascaded over me in waves and I thought I might pass out from my lightheaded giddiness. I opened the door to see what this stranger wanted.

“Lily Jamison?”

Confused that he knew my real name, I nodded, then glanced behind me to make sure Marcus hadn’t overheard. The coast was clear.

“I have a few packages to deliver. Please sign here.”

He held out an electronic pad and I signed, remembering the items I’d had shipped from Lovelock. “That was fast,” I said, handing him back the electronic pad.

He grunted in response. “Do you want the boxes inside?”

“Yes, thank you.”

As he set the first two boxes on the living room floor, Marcus came down the stairs.

“That’s the last one,” the man said, setting a box on the floor.

Grateful he hadn’t said my name again, I thanked him and watched him leave.

“More garage sales?” Marcus asked, a teasing gleam in his eyes.

I laughed, happy there was no nefarious story behind the appearance of the boxes. “No. I decided to sell my Dad’s house and had some things shipped here.”

“Oh. Do you need any help moving them someplace else?”

I looked at the stack. I had planned on storing them in the secret room and since I didn’t want anyone to know about it, I told him I’d take care of it later.

“You really shouldn’t be lifting heavy things. You know, in your condition.”

Then it occurred to me that I could have him bring the boxes up to the baby’s room. I could push them into the secret room later. “I guess you’re right. If it’s not too much trouble, could you put them in the baby’s room?”

“Sure.”

As he reached for the first box I stopped him. “That’s actually the TV, so that can stay down here.”

I watched as he lifted two boxes at once. His muscles flexed and I couldn’t help but feel the pull of his maleness. Trying to push those feelings down, I watched him make several trips up the stairs. Just watching him made me tired and I was glad he had insisted. Finally he came downstairs for the last time. I saw him look at the box that held the TV.

“Would you like me to get that hooked up for you, Kate?”

“Don’t you think I’ve taken up enough of your time?”

He smiled and his startling green eyes drew me in. “Not at all.”

“Well, if you don’t mind, then I won’t object.”

After opening the box, he carefully lifted the TV out. “Where do you want it?”

I pointed to where the cable was sticking out of the wall. “The cable’s over there.”

He walked to where I pointed. “Do you have a table or anything to put it on?”

I shook my head.

“Okay. I’ll just put it on the floor for now then.”

As he screwed in the cable he glanced my way, then back at what he was doing. “When that guy knocked on the door, you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” He glanced at me again, apparently waiting for a response.

“Is that a question?” I asked.

“Just an observation.”

I nodded, but resisted the urge to tell him everything. It was becoming fairly obvious that the more time I spent with Marcus, the more lies I would have to tell. I decided it would be best to keep our interactions to a minimum.

A short time later he had the TV working. I thanked him and did nothing to encourage him to stay. He left a few minutes later. Within moments of closing the door behind him, intense loneliness washed over me.

Chapter Fifteen

The next day I decided it was time to start looking for a job. Even though I’d gone online and applied to several retail stores, I hadn’t heard back from any of them. Picturing the cute downtown where I’d tried to get a job at the bakery on my first day, I thought I’d check with the places there. I locked Greta in her crate, grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

When I got to the row of stores a few minutes later, I found a parking place and climbed out, glancing up and down the street, wondering where to start. Walking to one end of the street, I went into the first store and approached the counter. The girl at the register smiled at me and asked if she could help me.

“I was wondering if you’re hiring,” I asked, a friendly smile on my face.

She shook her head. “Not right now. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Thanks anyway.”

I left that store and went to the next one, repeating the same procedure and getting the same result. After going into half a dozen stores, I was beginning to feel discouraged, but I kept going. When I reached the corner I crossed the street. The first store on this side was a boutique called
Billi’s
. Huh, I thought, thinking of my friend Billi.

I pushed the door open and heard a bell ring. As I glanced around I noticed an eclectic collection of vintage clothes and jewelry, as well as funky knick knacks.

“Can I help you?” a voice asked.

I looked at the unfamiliar face and asked the same question I’d asked at all the other stores.

“I don’t think we’re hiring right now,” she said.

I must have looked completely dejected, because she added, “Hang on a second. The owner’s in the back. You can ask her.”

I nodded, not having much hope. As I waited, I looked through the nearest rack of clothing.

“Kate?”

I spun around, a smile on my face at the sound of the familiar voice. “So this
is
your store!”

Billi smiled back. “Sure is. Maddy here says you’re looking for a job.” She gestured to the girl I’d spoken to.

“That’s right. I haven’t had much luck finding one though,” I admitted. “You’re not hiring by any chance, are you?”

“Actually, I was thinking about bringing another person on part-time. Are you looking for a full-time position?”

Hope surged through me. “No,” I quickly answered. “I wouldn’t mind full-time, but part-time would be fine too.”

“Well then, how would you like to work here?”

I grinned. “I would love it.”

“Great! Can you start tomorrow?”

“Yeah. What time would you like me to be here?”

“I need someone for the early shift, so say, eight o’clock in the morning?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“All right then. Bring your social security card and driver’s license and we’ll get everything started in the morning.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

I left the store feeling fantastic. I had a job! And Billi would be my boss. We hadn’t spent very much time talking in the dog obedience class or the self-defense class, but she’d been friendly to me. I looked forward to getting to know her better.

Then I thought about showing her my social security card and driver’s license and a wave of worry washed over me. I pushed it aside, knowing there was no other option.

When I got home I tried to use my last full day off to get everything organized. After playing with Greta in the backyard for a while, I went into the baby’s room, slid open the closet, and opened the entrance to the secret room. All of the boxes that Marcus had brought up to the room were stacked neatly in a corner of the baby’s room. One by one I moved them into the secret room for storage, then I secured the door.

As I was about to slide the closet door closed, I noticed the light that seeped around the edges of the small door and realized if Trevor was looking for me, that light could give away my position. Going to the linen closet, I dug around and found a blanket, then brought it into the secret room. Holding up the blanket, I considered how to hang it over the door, then noticed several nails sticking out of the wall above the door.

After folding the blanket into fourths, I pressed the fabric against the nails until holes formed and the blanket hung securely over the door. Then I got on my hands and knees and, pushing the blanket aside, crawled out of the secret room. I closed the small door behind me and stood back, examining the door for any sign of light. It was completely dark around the door now.

Satisfied that I had disguised the fact that a large room lay hidden behind the door, I pushed the boxes against the door and slid the closet door closed. Then I turned and faced the baby’s room.

As I looked around, I made a mental list of the items I would need for when the baby came: a dresser and changing table, a rocking chair, a mattress for the crib, as well as linens and a few baby outfits. The thought of buying all of those things didn’t stress me out quite as much, now that I knew I would have some income.

Now that my home felt organized, I wanted to relax. I pulled out my laptop and went online and immediately pulled up my email account. As I saw the inevitable email from Trevor, my heart pounded. I knew I had been putting off checking for an email from him since I’d gotten back from Reno. The thought of his reaction to my tricking him scared me.

With trepidation, I clicked on the email.

Dear Lily,

I know you probably expect me to be mad about what you did, but honestly I’m not.

I stopped, shocked by what Trevor had said. I reread it to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood, then continued on.

I would have done the same thing if I were you. I know that stuff was yours and I don’t begrudge you taking it. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was to get to Circus Circus and find out you weren’t there. I know I haven’t done a lot to deserve your trust, but I really thought you wanted to see me. I know you don’t believe me, but I still love you so much! I want us to be a family again. Please, Lily. Please tell me where you are. I want to be with you so bad that it hurts.

All my love,

Trevor

I stared at his message, overwhelmed with confusion. He had reacted completely opposite of what I had been prepared for. I had expected him to be furious with me and to say how much he hated me and wanted to hurt me. I had been prepared for that. But his expression of love and understanding had taken me completely by surprise and I didn’t know how to react.

As I thought about his words, then remembered Amanda telling me that Trevor didn’t love me anymore, I wondered what to believe. It hadn’t looked like Amanda was living there, so maybe she was just saying what she thought and not what Trevor had said. Then I remembered Trevor kissing her before he came to meet me. That image didn’t seem to match up to the love he had professed in his email.

What was I supposed to believe? The words he told me or the actions I saw? In either case, I felt he had betrayed me by being with Amanda. It’s true that I had left him and he could do what he wanted, but if he loved me so much, why was he with her?

When I visualized them embracing and Trevor kissing her and then her acting like I was the intruder in my apartment, I felt fury spreading throughout my body. Taking several deep breaths, I forced myself to calm down, worried I could hurt the baby by letting my emotions get so out of control.

Without thinking, I hit the Reply button and composed an email to Trevor.

Trevor,

If you love me so much, why are you with Amanda now? And why did you tell her to not let me leave?

Lily

I hit Send before I had a chance to change my mind. I had to know why he was with Amanda.

Shutting down my computer, I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels before finding a show that looked interesting. I watched TV for a while, then fixed myself something to eat. When it was time for bed I took my eReader, the one Trevor had gotten me for Christmas, and brought it to bed. As I selected a book, I remembered the day he’d given it to me. It was the same day I had told him I would marry him. We had been so happy. It was hard to believe how much had changed in such a short period of time.

I read for a while, then turned off the light, excited to start my new job the next morning.

Chapter Sixteen

I arrived at
Billi’s
right at eight o’clock. She met me at the door and invited me in.

“We probably have a little time before any customers come in. Let’s go in back and get the paperwork filled out.”

I followed her through the small store and into the office tucked in the back. She sat at the desk and invited me to sit in the extra chair.

“Do you have your driver’s license and social security card?”

“Yes.” I pulled them out of my wallet and handed them to her, nervous about what she would say. I watched as she looked them over, then she looked at me.

“I don’t understand. This says your name is Lily.”

“Well, that’s my legal name,” I said. “Kate is my nickname.”

She seemed to accept that. “Okay.”

She had me fill out some other paperwork and after I’d signed where required, she smiled at me. “That’s it. Let me show you around.”

After going over where things were and what some of the procedures were, she told me to let her know if I needed any help and then went back into her office. I wandered around, making myself familiar with the inventory. As I was examining some decorative items on one of the shelves, I heard the bell tinkle as a customer entered the store.

“How may I help you?” I asked the woman.

She told me what she was looking for and I spent the next fifteen minutes helping her. More customers came in and I stayed busy until it was time for me to leave at one o’clock. I said good-bye to Billi and she told me my assigned days to work. As I drove home, I smiled, satisfied with my morning. I had enjoyed working at
Billi’s
boutique and looked forward to working there the next day.

The first thing I did when I got home was to let Greta out of her crate. She was ecstatic to see me. We went out back and I threw the ball with her and worked with her on some of the training techniques we’d learned. She’d been doing really well and I thought she might be ready to be left out of her crate when I was at work. I would be gone less than six hours. Even so, I knew I would feel better if she had a way to get in and out of the house on her own.