Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (142 page)

that, either.”

“He should have made a point of it, Sam. That’s the problem. I’m

just his city fuck, and I can’t be that.” God his voice sounded wobbly.

“I think you’re just making this into an excuse to dump him.” Nik

swallowed, but didn’t answer. It wasn’t true, but he didn’t have the

energy to deny it.

Nik snorted instead. It was a pathetic little snort, hardly worthy of

the name. “Nothing to dump.” It was better this way. Really.

Sam looked at him so long, so silently, Nik almost felt like he was

looking at Jurgen all over again. His chest clenched up at the thought.

Finally, Sam sighed. “Nik, he’s going to come by here. You know he

is. What are you going to tell him?”

Nik was so tired. He sat down where he stood, right on the floor,

and put his head between his knees. “I’m going to give him his
auf

wiedersehen
.”

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There was a long silence. Nik sat cocooned in his blanket, head on

his knees, looking at the little holes the crocheted design made. Why

did people make blankets with little holes in them? It seemed to defeat

the purpose. He’d ask his grandma next time he saw her.

He looked up when he heard Sam stand. He was digging his keys

out of his pocket. “You’re leaving? Who’ll put me to bed after I drown

my sorrows in that bottle of tequila I’ve been saving?”

“Jurgen’s putting you to bed tonight, Nik.” Sam spoke with

conviction.

Nik shook his head, and kept right on shaking it. “No, he won’t.

He’s—” The sound of keys in the door shut Nik up.

Dumbass didn’t need keys. Nik hadn’t locked it. Sam was smiling

at him. “He’s coming in the door right now. You must have trusted

him some, Nik. You gave him keys.” Sam headed for the door as

Jurgen was opening it. “Hey, Jurgen, just leaving,” Sam said as he

scooted past.

Nik shot up like a jack-in-the-box. Jurgen looked over at him. His

face was expressionless. He was holding Nik’s jacket in his hand. He

stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind Sam, not even

glancing at him. He dropped Nik’s jacket on the floor, staring at Nik.

Then he started that stalking thing he did. Nik swallowed and

mentally glued his feet to the floor. When Jurgen was right in front of

him, he stopped. “Why’d you leave Nikky?” His voice was soft.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you to.”

Jurgen sighed and looked down at his feet, then back up at Nik.

“Well, you better tell me what it is you do want because I can’t figure

out what the hell’s wrong with you.”

“Wrong with me?
Me
? I’m not the one who didn’t tell my fuck-

buddy about us!”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 872

Damn. The befuddled look. Jurgen was pulling out the big guns.

“Dave?”

“Yes! Dave! He said you never even told him about me.” Oh no.

No no no. He could not handle the voice wobble right now.
Please

higher power, take away the voice wobble.

“Why would I tell him about you? It’s none of his damn business.

It’s not like I’ve been seeing him. You can’t think I’m still doing him.

We got tested.”

Nik stared at Jurgen. What was he doing, going on about this? It

wouldn’t do any damn good, and he’d end up in the same boat. His

heart
wanted
Jurgen, but Jurgen’s heart didn’t want him. “Jurgen, just

go, okay? I can’t… there’s a bottle of tequila calling my name.”

Great. Now he looked befuddled and incredulous. “I’m not leaving

until you tell me what’s wrong. I can’t promise to leave then, either.

Nik what the hell is going through your head?”

Nik took a page out of Jurgen’s book and stared at him a long

time. He couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to accomplish, but it

helped him see one very important thing. He was going to have to lay

it all on the line, because Jurgen wouldn’t leave any other way.

Well, the upside of the complete, crushing humiliation would be

that Jurgen probably wouldn’t stay to hear the whole, sordid story. So

Nik just spit it right out. “Jurgen, I’m in love with you.” Jurgen looked

stunned. Too stunned to move. Nik gave him a good thirty seconds for

his head to stop spinning.

He was still standing there. Nik took a deep breath. “I know you

probably don’t want to hear that, and I didn’t realize it was happening

or I would have ended things sooner.”

Nada. Oh, god, he was going to have to
apologize
. It was

excruciating. Another deep breath. “I know you don’t love me, you

just aren’t—”

“Who says?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 873

“What?”

“Who says I don’t love you?”

Nik stared at Jurgen. When had that smile started creeping up on

his face? “Um. Me?”

“How could you think I don’t love you?” The jerk looked almost

amused, advancing on Nik again, herding him backward. Nik kept

having to look behind himself to make sure he didn’t trip over couch

cushions.

“You never told me you did.” Nik wasn’t so fond of how weak his

voice sounded.

“You never told me, either. Why do I have to say it first?” Nik put

a hand on Jurgen’s chest to keep some space between them as his back

hit the wall. Jurgen planted his hands on either side of Nik’s head,

smiling fully now.

“Because it’s obvious I love you, you big, stupid asshole! Look at

me, I’m a mess. I’m sitting on my living room floor wrapped in an

afghan crocheted by my grandmother.” Jurgen was shaking his head

before Nik was done.

“Not obvious, Nikky. You push me away all the time.”

“At least I talk to you, you never tell me anything. Look at

tonight!”

“You talk to push me away. You’re always waiting for me to leave

you, but I didn’t and I’m not going to.” Jurgen had dropped the smile

and was looking at him seriously again. “How could you possibly

think I don’t love you?”

Nik’s whole reality shifted, this time. Almost like it had always

been a little bit skewed, and was just now snapping into its rightful

place. Not quite there, just hovering over. He bit his lip. Was this

happening? “So,” Nik asked in a whisper. “What are you saying?”

“Of course I love you, Nikky. You think I’ve ever driven two

hours after work to be with anyone then driven two hours home the

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 874

next morning? When do you think was the last time I got on my knees

for a guy? Or come in my jeans?”

“But. But you said you hadn’t met the right guy—”

“I was trying to get a reaction out of you.
You
are that guy for me,

Nikky. You think I’ve ever chased a guy after he left before?”

“No?”

“Nikky, I didn’t say anything to Dave because I never thought

about him again after I met you. I didn’t bring you with me to say hi

when I saw him at the party because I wanted to warn him you knew

about him. I was going to get you. He just found you first.”

Nik was dumbfounded. He shook his head some more.

Jurgen nodded his.

Nik stopped moving and just looked. Jurgen looked so…

trustworthy. Nik swallowed.

Jurgen stared at him a few seconds, waiting for him to say

something else he supposed. Finally, he leaned in and brushed a few

kisses on Nik’s lips. “Breathe Nikky.”

Snap
. Everything fell into place.

Nik sucked in a breath. He sounded like an iron lung. “You big

dumb asshole!”

Jurgen started laughing. He put a hand on the back of Nik’s head

and forced his face onto his shoulder. “Yeah, but I’m your big dumb

asshole. And you love me.”

He probably couldn’t convincingly argue with that. Nik let his

arms creep around Jurgen, squeezing him tight. “You love me, too.”

Jurgen kissed his temple. “I do, Nikky.”

THE END

Author bio:
Anne Tenino began writing for her own entertainment

in third grade, but life intervened, and she didn’t get around to

submitting anything to a publisher until the week of her 40th birthday.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 875

While spending most of the last three years recovering from Lyme

Disease, Anne started writing for herself again. The Lyme Disease

had led to the demise of her “real” job, and the laptop was right there,

next to the bed… In the long, rainy, Pacific Northwest winter, writing

is sometimes a mood-saver.

Anne’s husband is adorably confused by her love of reading and

writing about man lurve, but he’s always been a supportive sort. Just

don’t ask him to read it. Her two school-aged daughters think it’s cool

Mom’s a writer, but aren’t clear on why they can’t tell Gramma about

it.

When not writing, Anne likes to read, travel, cook, and shirk

housework.

You can see what Anne is up to by checking out her (sadly

neglected) blog at
http://annetenino.wordpress.com
or checking out
her Goodreads profil
e http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/483…

In early August 2011, her first novel-length work,
18% Gray
, will

be released by Dreamspinner Press.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 876

Pia Veleno – FREEDOM’S SOUVENIR (Vacation Romance)

Genre:
contemporary

Tags:
closet, vacation, meddling sister, lawyer,

Dear Author,

artist

Last summer, I went on a

Words:
14,757

cruise, and one day while I

was out roaming the ship, I

FREEDOM’S SOUVENIR

saw this guy sitting and

reading and he just looked

by Pia Veleno

so peaceful and content that

I needed to take a photo. But

when I got home, I saw the

Nick Boden let his backpack slide off his

guy in the background who

shoulder as he angled through the congested

looks like he is spying on

him… I wonder if they have

terminal in Miami International Airport. He

a story to tell.

found an unoccupied span of not-quite-white

[PHOTO: A man relaxes in

wall and leaned against it. He still felt stuck in

a lounge chair in nothing

the middle of a crowd—worse, like a salmon

but swim trunks and shades.

swimming upstream in a flood of tired, cranky,

One arm reaches over his

and often pungent travelers. He dropped the

head, showing off strong

abs. One knee bent, a book

backpack between his sneakered feet and

is propped on his thigh. In

scanned the crowd of weary faces. Families

the distance, behind a

towed small children, business men wove past

support beam and tinted

glass partition, a figure

with expert precision, and a handful of couples

appears to be discreetly

with

joined

hands

chatted,

sometimes

watching our reader.]

animatedly, about their vacation plans.

Please.

“See anything good?” The female voice at