Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (36 page)

have sent a guard down for you.”

Tahir’s natural curiosity restrained his frustration. “You heard

them?”

“My hearing is extremely acute. I apologize.” Jan patted Tahir’s

damp shoulder. “My visit here is two fold; Gustav asked me to escort

you to the palace and I decided to take this time to say farewell.”

Tahir stared at the unusual duke in surprise mixed with sorrow.

They had interacted a mere handful of times but for some odd reason

Tahir felt close to the wizard. “My duke, no, you’re leaving already?

Of course, you miss Noa and his extended family.”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 207

“Exactly. I already remained away too long.”

“It must be pleasant to have a loving family awaiting you.” Tahir

winced at sounding so harsh.

“I am sure you once…”

Tahir fiercely shook his head. Intense denial stiffened his body.

“Never. Please, I will not speak of them. They are in the past, my

duke.”

“As you wish. Let’s walk. Gustav is eager to see you.” They

walked upward in the cooling air. Jan wondered what this defensive

man had endured to create such bitterness? Today sharp, unsettled

emotions emanated from Tahir’s warm flesh. He hadn’t felt them

before. This man had suffered horrible trauma. Dare he ask or should

he… no, the situation troubled him too much to ignore. “Tahir, forgive

my bluntness, but what did your family do to you?”

Tahir stiffened and whirled, his black eyes meeting the duke’s

compassionate ruby gaze. Something crumbled within his angry soul.

He wanted to sink to his knees and cry out his wretched life to this

understanding wizard. The urge filled Tahir’s brain and nearly

overwhelmed him. This gentle duke would not condemn him.

No! Tahir allowed his hot anger to protect him again. He spoke in

rude haste. “By the Burning Sands, you are a wicked wizard. Stop

playing with my mind. Leave me be, duke!”

Tahir’s fury made Jan blink in surprise. “No, Tahir, I merely wish

to offer you comfort. Speaking of suffering heals far more than letting

the rot fester deep within your soul. I sense your poisoned suffering.

Your suffering is deep and tragic.” Jan reached out his fingers and

touched Tahir’s flushed cheek. “Trust me, release helps.” Yes, if he

could hold his fingers there for just a few seconds more… something

shifted to his power…

No. Release offered too much danger. Tahir jerked away from the

albino’s soothing touch and spat onto the cobbles. “Leave me alone!”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 208

Jan jerked back his hand as if burnt. How foul! Horrible damage

infected Tahir’s mind. Tahir’s quick anger allowed Jan to slip into his

inner soul and gain a brief overview. Tahir’s tormented soulscape

nearly blinded him. The wizard could do nothing to ease the vile

suffering. Forced healing increased the dilemma.

The shaken wizard whispered to the wounded man. “Forgive me

for prying.” They traveled on through the upper levels in an uneasy

silence. Jan ached to soothe this poor man’s mental pain.

A stubborn flame fanned Tahir’s soul and rebuilt his strong inner

wall. He barely saw where he stepped. During this ascent the city’s’

glowing beauty held no joy for him. No. He would not speak. He

would not confess. He would not! He could not! If he confessed, he

lost everything. Never. Not now.

THE REUNION

“Jan, Tahir. I…”

Gustav! Tahir lifted his gaze from the street’s gray stones and

looked straight into Gustav’s gaze. Tahir paused, transfixed by the

vivid emotions meeting his own. The true affection in Gustav’s eyes

almost undid Tahir again.

Gustav frowned in confusion. Poor Tahir looked like he wanted to

scream in pain. Why? Hold; keep the voice low and casual. Strive for

lightness. “What goes on here? Do you two quarrel over our dinner

plans?”

“Sire.” Tahir broke their eye contact and bowed low. Stop. He

needed to swallow the emotions, needed to seal them off.

Dear Gustav tried. After what he experienced in Tahir’s mind, Jan

didn’t possess the heart to jest. He shook his head and frowned. “No,

Gustav, we merely walked up to meet you. Forgive me for refusing

your dinner invite. I want an early start tomorrow… actually… I

believe I will leave now.” Stepping forward Jan embraced Gustav

close. When they drew apart, Jan stared urgently into Gustav’s

confused eyes.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 209

Gustav had dwelled with wizards long enough to read their strong

emotions. He nodded and squeezed Jan’s white arms. He needed to

tread carefully.

Jan turned back to Tahir. “Farewell, Tahir. I hope we meet again

soon.”

The conflicted man looked up from staring at the cobbled street.

Once again the duke’s soothing ruby gaze spoke to him. Releasing a

low moan, he dropped to one knee and gripped the duke’s white hand.

“Yes, my duke, I hope we meet again. Forgive me in turn?”

“Of course. Remember my words, Tahir. If you need my help, let

Gustav know.” Jan lightly caressed Tahir’s long, damp hair. He

whirled away and almost ran toward the palace. The man’s exposed

pain thrust into his soul like a spiritual knife.

Gustav gazed after his friend in complete amazement. He studied

Tahir who refused to look up. Should he… no. Jan had warned him.

Instead of prying verbally, Gustav touched Tahir’s shoulder. Long wet

hair had soaked Tahir’s white vest, pressing the fabric against his

swarthy skin. The visual effect looked intoxicating. “Tahir, I wanted

to escort you in person but the Tothas ambassadors were…”

Tahir stared at Gustav in complete horror. A disgusted snarl broke

free. “Tothas? You entertain those dogs at the palace? Sire, are you

mad? They are a bloodthirsty, cruel, diabolical race! What do they

want with Astridia?”

What? The baffled Gustav blinked in surprise. What provoked this

over reaction? What happened here? “Tahir, they petition for final

peace. After the Red War, they ignored my overtures to meet, much

like your Curamian nobles. At least Curamia came around and

reluctantly accepted my rule. The men of Tothas never even

acknowledged me. This is a major advancement. Grueling but vital.”

This time Gustav’s curiosity refused to step down. “Why do you

possess such a low opinion of them?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 210

“Because they—they delight in breaking a man’s soul! They are

foul torturers who…” Tahir froze like a hunted fox. No, what did he

say? Gustav’s intense stare told Tahir he sounded wild. No! Fresh

stubborn stiffness ruled his body. Lowering his voice he murmured, “I

heard cruel tales, Sire.”

Gustav’s patience stretched thin. “You heard tales. From who?”

Dense silence greeted Gustav’s query. Tahir returned to blindly

staring at the street. Fine. Don’t pry. Back away. “Tahir, in time I

hope you grow to trust me as your friend. Sometimes one’s own mind

magnifies a situation into something more horrific than reality.

Tonight I shall not press. Come, our dinner awaits.”

Why did everyone want to open his soul? Tahir nodded and

followed Gustav up to the last level. Gustav’s subjects greeted their

king, their voices filled with respect mixed with obvious affection.

Curious stares brushed against Tahir. A stunned thought finally

crashed into his over-heated mind. Gustav openly walked with him.

The king acknowledged him in public display.

Noble Gustav granted him huge honor and what did Tahir do?

Rant madly about the Tothas then offer his royal lover sullen silence.

Gustav must want him badly to tolerate endless insulting nonsense.

Enough. Make the effort. Tahir forced his gaze to Gustav’s noble

profile. “Sire?”

Ah, finally someone spoke. “Yes, Tahir?”

“Sire, I… I…” Talk! Trust! Tahir needed to take a chance on

trusting a decent soul! “I endured deviant Tothas bastards when I

lived in… in Zantarta a few years ago. They were horrible men,

perverse and decadent. They… liked inflicting physical and mental

pain upon… upon…others during…” As his quiet words yanked free

Tahir winced and almost fell to the sun-warmed cobbles. Stop, stop,

stop!

What? Gustav halted and numbly stared at Tahir’s anguished face.

What did he hear? His intelligent mind filled in unspoken details

between his lover’s words. By the Gods no, how sad. He felt glad

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 211

those diplomats left the realm. Controlling his inner anger Gustav

merely nodded. That Tahir offered him those pained words showed an

amazing display of trust. “I see. Thank you. You are a brave man.”

Gustav gently touched Tahir’s shoulder.

Tahir only shook his head in anxiety. He performed an act of trust.

He released a poisoned pebble from his past. He prayed the pebble did

not bring about a dangerous emotional avalanche. At least Gustav did

not react in horror. The respite gave him great comfort.

Gustav led them into the gardens by the same back gate. This time

they traveled far into the inner palace. When they reached a marble

wall covered with a frieze depicting a long dead king, the current king

turned and smiled at his lover. “I want to show you a special trick.”

Tahir blinked and watched Gustav’s strong fingers swiftly tap

against points on the carving. A subtle click sounded. A panel in the

carving sprung open. “Sire, how amazing.”

“It’s my private back door entrance. Come. Tonight I wish to relax

in my room.” Gustav beckoned and stepped into the narrow dark

entrance.

Fear attacked Tahir’s compromised nerves. “Aren’t you going to

use a torch?”

Gustav hesitated and studied Tahir’s tense face. “It’s not a long

passage… we travel up a flight of stairs and down two short

corridors.”

“In the dark?”

“Yes, of course but…” New comprehension flared in Gustav’s

alert mind. Well, he certainly learned strange details about his lover.

He snapped his fingers and nodded. “Wait, yes, there is a candle here.

You’re right, why stumble around in the dark? Let me light our way.”

Gustav whisked the sandstone against strike stone and lit the candle.

“There. Now…” He held out his hand to Tahir.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 212

The simple gesture made Tahir want to weep. Gustav did not

question his craven fear. This sensitive king owned a blessed soul.

Tahir grasped Gustav’s hand and impulsively raised the warm skin to

his lips. He kissed the knuckles and squeezed Gustav’s fingers in his

own.

What an intriguing creature! Gustav smiled in full adoration. A

complex breathing puzzle held his hand, an emotional puzzle he

intended to solve. The task would take time.

They ascended the stairs. Tahir pressed against his king’s body.

His stare fixed on the lone candle glow. He needed to fight back his

fear. Nothing threatened him here. Nothing. Another click sounded.

Dazzling brightness banished the gloom. Tahir followed Gustav into a

large, sun-washed room. Tall windows stood open, the glass gathering

the final warm rays and reflecting them into the airy room. Tahir

gazed about in sincere delight. He had expected supreme rich

opulence yet the royal bedchamber reflected its current occupant.

Exotic light wooden furniture, the pieces carved into fluid shapes that

seemed almost alive, decorated the room. The huge canopied bed

boasted an ornate wood headboard and ivory silk drapery flowing

down from the soaring crown. Magnificent tapestries depicting

Astridia’s turbulent past softened the tawny marble walls. The room

embraced comfort, grace and serenity.

The intricate open-weave balcony intrigued Tahir. He walked

across the room and examined the ornate bronze swirls. What a