Don't Tell (34 page)

She reached backwards, her hands clasping the back of his neck. She pulled herself higher against him, vaguely aware the whimpers of frustration were being torn from her own throat.

He lifted his head and her heart stopped. His eyes were dark with unhidden want, his mouth wet from hers. She could hear the beat of his heart in the stillness of the kitchen. Slowly he turned her in his arms so that she was facing him. Fully facing him and everything this moment represented.

„Caroline, do you believe I love you?“ he whispered, his voice raspy and unfamiliar.

She looked in her heart and found no doubts lurking. „Yes.“

„Do you trust me?“

She looked in her heart once more. And again found no doubts lurking. „Yes.“ She didn’t hear the word come from her throat but he was evidently quite satisfied with her answer.

„Come with me then.“ He framed her face with both hands, lightly caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed her, slow and sweet. Eyelids. Cheekbones. Corners of her eyes. Everywhere but her lips, yet when he lifted his head she was trembling. „I want to take you places.“

He danced her around and backed her towards the archway separating his kitchen from his living room.

Caroline swallowed, a sliver of fear insinuating itself in her mind. „Places?“

He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently forcing her to meet his eyes. His other hand firmly gripped his cane and step by step they were swaying towards the darkened living room. „Wonderful places. You choose.“

„M-me?“

They were in the living room now, a few feet from the extra long sofa that consumed the better part of the longest wall in the room. He smiled and brushed his lips against hers. „Yes, y-you.“

They came to a stop when the backs of her legs came up against the sofa and he sobered. „I promise we won’t do anything you don’t want to do. I promise I’ll stop when you say. Somebody hurt you, Caroline. I can see it in your eyes every time I tell you I love you or tell you you’re beautiful. I promise you you’ll someday believe me, because I’d never lie to you. I just need one promise from you.“

Eyes wide, tongue inoperable, Caroline could only nod.

„I want you to promise to remember who I am. Can you promise me that, Caroline?“

Her eyes filled with sharp tears and she blinked them away. „Max.“

„Promise me?“ he persisted, brushing the tears from her cheeks.

„I promise,“ she whispered.

„I wanted to light a fire, have music, make it perfect for you,“ he murmured, stroking her face.

Touched to the bottom of her soul, Caroline lifted her hands to his face. He turned to press his lips against one palm, then the other. She trailed her fingertips down the strong column of his neck and felt the thrill of pride when he shuddered. She had the power to make this powerful man shudder. It was… discovery.

She ran her fingers up into the crisp, short hair at his nape and pulled his head down, kissing him with all the newfound confidence she possessed. Her reward was another one of his deep, guttural groans that made her insides melt like butter on a hot day. He took control of the kiss, covering her mouth with his lips and her breast with his hand. Her eyelids slid shut and her knees gave way as he guided her down to the softness of the sofa.

She heard his cane fall to the carpet. Her last coherent thought was that Max’s sofa was larger than her bed. Then he was joining her, settling his body between her legs, sliding his hands beneath her head to cradle her face.

„Look at me,“ he whispered.

With difficulty she forced her eyes to open. He was close, so close she could see each individual lash that framed his eyes. Eyes that stared at her with an intensity that made her heart start pounding all over again. „Tell me you love me, Caroline.“

She lifted her hand to his jaw, felt it clench beneath her fingertips. „I love you, Max.“

Another hard shudder racked his body and he gritted his teeth, thrusting his pelvis against hers. The hard ridge of his erection nudged at the very place that yearned for him. She felt her hips surge to meet his halfway, of their own accord.

„Oh, God,“ he whispered hoarsely.

„What?“ Caroline kissed his chin, his lower lip, his jaw, his neck. Anything she could reach with his weight pressing her down.

He shuddered again. „I feel like I could come just by you lifting your hips.“

The shiver that raced down her spine to her core had her reflexively lifting to him once more.

„Stop.“ It was a hissed warning. „I want to show you so many things, Caroline. I want to make you feel so incredible. Don’t make me come too soon.“

His words were achieving more than his kisses. She had to get closer. She spread her legs wider, lifting her knees to bracket his hips. It was better; he was closer, but still not close enough. Layers of clothing still separated her from the hard part of him that made her body weep. She wriggled experimentally, and gasped at the resulting pleasure.

„Dammit, Caroline.“ Max pressed her into the sofa harder, immobilizing her seeking hips. „I – “ He never finished the thought, his hands skimming under her sweater, finding the softness of her breasts. She arched her back, desperate for more, crying out when he gave it to her, pushing her sweater up, her bra down and lowering his mouth to her nipple in a single heated movement. She cried out again, begging him with her body to take more of her into his mouth. He did, lashing her now-sensitive nipple with his tongue. Her breasts had never, never been a source of pleasure and now the pleasure was so intense she thought she might just die from it. Impatient, she grasped his jaws and pulled until he switched to the other breast, humming his approval. He lifted his head and stared at his handiwork, her nipples now erect and straining. And wet.

He lifted his eyes to hers. „You’re beautiful,“ he said, his voice rough. „You’re also wearing too damn many clothes.“ He took her sweater by the hem and in a single movement pulled it over her head, flinging it… somewhere else.

Her mind immediately raced to the scars on her neck, grateful for the darkness. She prayed they wouldn’t show in the darkness. Then she forgot about her scars when his hands fumbled with the front clasp of her bra, his knuckles brushing her aching nipples until she whimpered.

He lowered his head to nuzzle the underside of one breast, dragging a sigh from deep inside her. He lavished, kissing one breast than the other, teasing, lightly biting. Never hurting. Always pleasuring. He suckled, driving her higher and higher until she was arching into his open mouth once again. Her hips writhed, surging up to close the distance between their bodies. She cried out, calling his name, begging him for more.

Max lifted his head and moved his weight to his side. „Caroline, look at me.“

Eyes glazed, she looked into his beautiful face. And felt every muscle convulse when his hand cupped the juncture between her legs, his fingers restlessly moving against the fabric of her old blue jeans in a rhythm she instinctively understood.

„Is this what you wanted?“ he asked, his voice so rough it was almost unrecognizable. She nodded, catching her lip between her teeth. He dropped his lips to hers, kissing her hard. „Don’t try to hide all those little cries from me, Caroline. They’re mine.“ He kissed her again, clamping his fingers against her possessively. „I’ve laid in my bed dreaming of this. Dreaming of you. Dreaming of the sounds you’ll make when I make love to you. Of all the things you’ll beg me for. Please, Caroline. I want to hear you ask me for all the things that make you scream.“

„Max.“ She lifted her hips, chasing the feel of his hands on her most private, protected parts. He kissed her mouth, her breasts, working her hard until every thrust of his hand brought her hips off the sofa. She wanted him. Wanted him inside her. It was wondrous. A miracle. She’d almost touched heaven itself –

And then he stopped. Once again she dragged her eyes open. He was staring down at her, his jaw clenched. „I’m going to ask you this only once. I promised we’d stop whenever you said.“

Caroline reached for him, her hand molding against his erection through his slacks. „Don’t stop. Please.“

He hissed an oath and rose to his knees, tugging his shirt free. She watched, awestruck as the most beautiful chest she’d ever seen emerged from beneath that plain white shirt. Broad, thick corded muscle, covered with dense, thick, curly dark hair. He struggled with the button at his cuff then yanked until the button flew off. His shirt landed on the floor next to the sofa. Caroline sat up and ran her hands up and across the breadth of his chest, through the crisp hair and his hands paused at the button of his slacks. His head dropped forward and his face tightened as he absorbed the feel of her hands on his body. He’d obviously been waiting for her to do just this very thing. It was new, incredible. That she could bring such pleasure to his face. She trailed her fingertips downward through the hair on his chest until it narrowed at his waist.

She pushed his hands away and looked up to find his eyes open and staring at her with an intensity that shook her soul. Keeping her eyes on his face, she slid free the button at his waist and slowly slid the zipper down. His chest expanded with the deep breath he drew and he waited.

Caroline reached inside the elastic waistband of his boxer shorts and closed her hand around hot, throbbing flesh. The breath he’d been holding escaped in a rush. „Please don’t ask me to stop now,“ he gritted as she lightly ran her fingers up and down his swollen length. „Please.“

In answer she tugged at his slacks.

„God.“ He pushed himself to his feet and dropped the slacks and boxers to the floor in a jingle of keys and change. He dropped to one knee and found the condom he’d slipped into his pocket. „Hold this,“ he muttered, thrusting the packet into her hand.

Reality intruded.

She stared at the packet, trying to control her panic. He expected her to put this on him. In all her life she’d never used one. Then her concerns were doubled as he dragged her jeans and panties down her legs. The cool air against her hot body was a jolt. She was exposed. More exposed than she’d ever believed she’d be again.

It was time. Through his painstaking preparation, she hadn’t once remembered the pain of sex. Now she did.

Now she did.

„Caroline.“ She looked away, not able to meet his eyes now that the moment was so close. „Look at me.“ She did, then looked away again. He took the packet from her hand and she heard the foil rip, felt the sofa give as he settled himself back between her thighs. „Please look at me.“ She tried to meet his eyes. She couldn’t.

He nudged at her opening with what felt like an iron rod. She tensed. She couldn’t help it. „I want you. God, I want you so much.“ He pressed forward, catching his breath. „I love you, Caroline. I don’t want to hurt you, ever, but I want you so much I think I’ll die if I stop.“ He clenched his eyes shut. „Do you want me to stop?“

She did, desperately, yet she lifted a hand to his face, unwilling to deprive him. She’d survive it. She had before. But this time would be different. It would be worth it, however much it hurt. She loved him. It would make the difference. It would.

„Don’t stop,“ she whispered, then prepared herself for the ripping intrusion.

His shoulders shuddered as relief rippled through his body. „I won’t hurt you. I promise.“ He guided himself in, pushing, pushing. „I’m sorry,“ he whispered. „You’re just so tight.“

Her body tensed, involuntarily shrinking away from him.

„Remember your promise, Caroline,“ he begged, voice a mixture of hoarse and sweet pleading. „Remember you promised to think of me, to know I love you. Relax, Caroline. Please. Let me take you just one more place.“

And as he soothed, he pushed until he was fully joined to her body.

He was… inside her. And it didn’t hurt.

„Remember I love you.“ He began to rock and her body began to feel the stirrings of pleasure he’d aroused so effortlessly before. She relaxed, her knees lifting to draw him deeper. His groan told her she’d done well. He reached between them, finding the exact spot that made her arch against him and moan. He surged and withdrew, again and again, until she was climbing again, higher and higher. Almost…

„Max.“ She grabbed his shoulders and bit her lip. Then let him hear her cry out when her body finally touched heaven in its magnificent splendor for the very first time. Groaning her name, he joined her, his powerful body jerking and shuddering as he found satisfaction deep within her body.

He sank into her arms and she held him, welcoming his weight, smoothing her hands across his damp back. If the pinnacle had been overwhelming, the aftermath was enough to sweep her under. She felt so whole. So right. Emotion rushed in on a wave and she clutched him tighter, burying her face against the solidity of his shoulder. It wasn’t until he heard her sniffle that his head lifted, his expression devastated.

„I hurt you. God, Caroline, I’m so sorry.“

She shook her head, hoping she could someday make him understand. „No, you didn’t. It didn’t hurt, Max.“ For the first time, she knew what God had ordained. For the first time she’d given her body freely. For the first time there had been ultimate pleasure. For the first time there had been no ripping, tearing pain.

He was looking at her, trying to see inside her soul even as his body remained nestled within hers. „Who hurt you, Caroline?“

She could have told him then, but her body was still rippling from the sensations with which he’d gifted her. Allowing the memory of him to intrude seemed obscene.

„Not you,“ she whispered, pushing his hair from his forehead. „Not you.“

Chicago

Friday, March 16

10 P.M.

It had taken five beers to loosen the girl up, the first one probably going to counteract the caffeine from the coffee he’d bought her first. Winters looked at her from across the tiny table in the overcrowded bar that conveniently forgot to card his very obvious minor. Now she was finally starting to show some effect of the beers he’d been pouring down her throat.

„So are you ready to tell me what brought you to your friend’s house tonight?“