Don't Wake Me if I'm Dreaming (32 page)

“That really doesn’t taste as good as I expected.” He handed it back.

I shook my head agreeing, tossing the coconut in the sand.

He knelt down with his back facing me, patting his shoulder. “Hop up.”

I climbed on his back then he walked out into the water. The waves hardly swayed the water was so calm. A cruise ship slowly moved across the water in the distance with a few small boats nearby.

“We should go on a cruise,” I suggested.

“Yeah?”

I slid down and stood at his side staring at the boats. “What did you do during the thirteen days I was sleeping?”

He looked at me before answering as if wondering what inspired my question. “I reminded myself to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to survive.”

“I don’t have any memory of the accident. I just feel this void like I lost something I can’t get back if that makes sense?”

“Probably time, you lost thirteen days. You were immediately unconscious upon impact, there’s no way you’d remember anything.”

“I remember you once told me you were worried someday it would be me you’d respond to.”

“I wasn’t there, thank God, I really don’t think I could have done it.”

“You would have probably held yourself better than you think. Instinct would have kicked in and took over.” I reached, rubbing his arm.

“I got the call shortly after it happened. Jameson called me. He was one of the first responders. I’ll never forget his voice. I had known before he said your name, you were the one he was talking about. What really sucked was calling your dad. That was the hardest phone call I ever made. He made his way to the hospital as quickly as he could.”

“How was he?”

“Not good. He hardly spoke, didn’t talk to anyone unless he had to other than Sam. There was a nurse, uh Hede or Hada, something like that. She kept a close eye on him and made sure he at least ate when she was around.”

I recognized the nurse’s name. “Hade.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I put you both through that. It must have been difficult.”

“I’m just glad it’s over and behind us. Those thirteen days felt like thirteen years.”

“You’re telling me.” I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Just don’t ever do that again.”

“As if.”

“I have to tell you something, it’s sort of strange though.”

“Matt, life is sort of strange, don’t you think?” I turned, walking back up to shore.

Matt followed me to the Jet Ski. I noticed he looked bothered.

“Are you okay?”

His lips moved to the side. “The evening of your accident, there was another accident. I was in the ICU sitting with you when I saw a man admitted into the next room. I didn’t think much of it until the next morning when I was in the cafeteria reading the paper. I read about your accident, and stumbled across the man’s accident. I knew for certain it was him.”

“What’s so strange about that?”

“The thing is, in the paper, it read that he was driving through the intersection of West Boulevard and South Tryon Street at five-thirty in the afternoon. I couldn’t help but wonder…”

I stared at him, not blinking, nor moving, swallowing hard. “Wonder…what?” I asked, holding my breath, needing to hear it from his lips, but feared it was as I dreamed it.

“Had you not been in the accident, I would have been driving through that same exact intersection at nearly if not the exact same time to take you out for our anniversary. I guess in a way, I thought maybe you saved my life, that it should have been me in the accident, not you. I mean of course I wish it would have been me, but it should have been.”

His words resonated, rendering me incoherent, unable to respond or process a clear thought. I felt the warmth of my skin shiver into ice as Matt confirmed what I had feared.
If I had said yes to Matt that night he proposed everything would have changed. My dreams showed me our future. Matt wouldn’t have left my house upset, I would have slept peacefully by his side that night and never stopped for a Red Bull on my way to work, and that evening, he would’ve driven to my apartment to take me out for our anniversary and would have…
“Stop…
Stop
!” My mind  dematerialized, absent from my body.

“Stop what?” His eyes were wide roaming around my face, wondering where my thoughts took me.

I snapped out of it, staring at him blankly.

“Are you okay?”

I covered my mouth, feeling my knees tremble.

He reached to hug me, but I quickly turned away to catch my breath, realizing I had been resentful missing Jack, but what I didn’t know was Matt would have died in order for my dreams of Jack to come true.

Quickly, I turned throwing my arms around Matt, thankful he was still alive.

***

A
fter an early dinner, we headed down to the beach and strolled along the sand. Matt watched a father and son play Frisbee, both laughing and conversing. I spent the afternoon absorbing our conversation, but gradually, spending more time with Matt, was easing me away from those disturbing thoughts, allowing me to return to normal function.

“I can’t wait to have a family.” Matt reached for my hand, smiling as the dad flung the Frisbee.

“Try!” I said, disapproving of his words.

He side-glanced at me, “I think you’d make an excellent mom.”

“On what grounds? I’m too selfish and I’ve never cared much for children.”

“You like Parker and Paisley.”

“That’s different and they grew on me.”

“As would your own kids.”

“It’s not an argument you’ll win. This is my uterus we’re talking about and it doesn’t need a dorm mate.”

“So we’ll adopt.”

“New topic.” I rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” he moaned. “Your shoulders are really red.”

“Yeah, I forgot to put on sunscreen. How red is my neck? It burns.”

“Uh, we should probably return to our room and load you up on water and Advil now. I think I packed some aloe cooling gel.”

“It’s that bad?” I asked, trying to look over my shoulder.

“It looks like it’s going to hurt like hell and probably the same color.”

“That’s not helping.” My brows furrowed.

“Sorry.” He mimicked my expression. “Let’s head back and I’ll run you a cool shower and play doctor.”

Matt and I returned to the hut and I quickly showered, as my burn was too painful to stand in the water long.

“You may be better off naked. Clothing might hurt to wear.”

“I’m not having sex with you right now, so don’t try to be funny. I’m in pain.” I held a towel securely around my body, digging through my bag for something light to wear.

“Sit. I’ll put this on your burn.” He glopped aloe into his hand.

I sat on the bed between his legs and held up my hair.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch,” I fussed as he lightly coated my back and neck and shoulders with the gel. Unsure if I was hot or cold, I shivered. I wanted to lie down. “I feel cold.”

“Don’t cover up to get warm. Your skin needs to breathe to release the heat.”

“You should have been a doctor.” I pulled the bed sheet over my body, lying on my front side.

“Get some rest. I’m running to the pharmacy to see if they have anything with Lidocaine. I’ll grab some snacks, too. Any requests?”

I lifted my head “Chips.”

I laid waiting for Matt to return, but it was taking him longer than expected. I closed my eyes to rest, hoping to no longer feel my skin burning. It took a while, but I finally dozed off.

***

B
eautiful bouquets of white flowers line the pews, and countless amounts of candles line the head of the church. With a whoosh of air, my surroundings transmogrify, placing me in the parlor room.

I sit in front of the vanity fixing my makeup in the church parlor when I receive a text from Jack. It has been close to twenty-four hours since we last saw each other, and I am beyond missing him.

“Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful to begin it with you”

Jack’s mom notices my heartfelt smile.

“How are you holding up, dear?” She pins her short, dark hair from her face.

“I’m getting married to the most fantastic and remarkable man I’ve ever known. I’m perfect. Maybe a little nervous, but perfect.”

She reaches down picking up the orchid intended for my hair. “May I?”

I smile approvingly.

She secures it into the side of my hair.

“Thank you.” I turn my head looking into the mirror at the flower.

“I have something for you.” I watch curiously as she walks over to the bench and sorts through her bag. “This,” she explains while walking toward me, “belonged to my grandmother and has been through a few weddings since, including my own. Jack’s sister Mary wore it, then Annie wore it last, and now it is your something borrowed if you’d like?”

“Grace, you are so kind to include me in your family tradition. This is such an honor.” I held my hand to my chest with a smile expressing my gratitude.

She opens a long black velvet box revealing a very delicate, diamond necklace with several small blue stones.

“Oh wow, your grandmother had impeccable taste.” I look at the tennis bracelet Jack gave me and realize he had it made to match the necklace and my engagement ring. “Very ingenious.” I smile holding up my wrist for Grace to see.

“Jack’s great-grandfather designed the necklace. Such a charming man he was, much like our Jack. This was his wedding gift for Jack’s great grandmother. Oh, speaking of,” she reaches into her sweater pocket, “your soon-to-be husband also had a little something he wanted me to give you just before the wedding. He hoped they’d warm any cold feet,” she says as she presents a small black box.

“My feet are actually sweating in my heels.” I laugh. I open the gift box and remove the earrings that complete the set. “He’s going to make me rotten if he keeps spoiling me.”

“Let him. It brings him joy.” She clasps the necklace around my neck after I slide the earrings on. “I’m glad you two found each other, and this church,” she says, looking around the room. “This takes me back. You know his father, and I have had many wonderful years together that all began in this same church.” She leans forward, lowering her voice. “That’s not to say he didn’t sleep in the guestroom with the dog a few times, but it’s those tough times that made us who we are today.” She smiles.

“Grace, if I become half the wife and woman—”

She interrupts me. “Come on now, today is about you dear, not me. You look fit to suit a prince.”

“That’s my intention.”

I stand in front of a full-length oval mirror, completely assembled in my bridal attire, wearing the gown my mother once wore on her wedding day thirty years ago. The white silk dress hugs each curve of my body. Trailing is a five-foot train, and the waist length veil makes me feel like a princess.

I hear a tap at the door. “That better not be you, Jack!”

“It’s your father. Are you decent?” he asks.

“Come in, Dad.”

“I’ll leave you two be,” Grace says as the door creeps open. They exchange smiles as my dad slowly approaches me with a tender smile, his chest filling with air. “This was so much easier with your brother. I couldn’t give him away fast enough.”

I smile.

“But you, I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

“I’m getting married, dad, not moving to Europe.”

His eyes look gentle as he speaks, “You look so much like my Ella.” His blue eyes sparkle from the sun’s light shining in the window.

“Yeah?” I smile, remembering a picture of her on their wedding day. “Does the dress look okay on me?”

“Ella couldn’t have worn it better herself. You look perfect, sweetie.” He reaches for my hand, gently cupping it between his. “Your mom would have really liked Jack, you know. She would have approved, and she’d be so proud of the woman you’ve become. I’m so proud of you, Sash.”

My eyes begin to swell. “I really miss her.” A tear trail begins flowing. “Ugh, I’m going to smudge my mascara.” I laugh as more tears roll down my cheeks.

He reaches, pulling a hanky from his pocket, handing it to me. “It’s clean.” He smiles.

I burst into laughter, wiping my eyes “Thanks. Oh no, you can’t cry too, dad! What happened to you being my big strong hero?” I whole-heartedly smile, reaching to dab his tears.

“It’s just a little dust in my eyes. It’s an old building you know. Besides, I think you’ve found your real hero.”

“How’s he doing? Please tell me you guys didn’t give him a hard time last night?”

“We roughed him up a little. Had to let him know you were my love first.”

“Dad.” I grin.

“Kidding, just kidding, he’s doing great. Didn’t even appear nervous.” He takes another deep breath. “He’s just ready to be your husband.” He smiles miserably.

“It’s going to be okay. He’s right for me.”