Standing in the sunlight, Miryo made a complete turn, looking at all five statues of the Goddess. Maiden, Bride, Mother, Crone, Warrior. She hesitated among them; the Warrior governed violence and death, but she could use the calm of the Mother's Water, or the solidity of the Crone's Earth. In the end she chose the Maiden's shrine; that was her current stage of life, and determination and passion
were
what she needed at the moment.
Sai dropped back to give Miryo privacy as she prepared herself for prayer. Since the shrine was the Maiden's, purification involved lighting a candle and meditating briefly on its dancing flame before she carried it with her to the shrine proper.
Once there, she slid her candle into the holder provided and sat cross-legged, gazing up at the statue of the carefree, passionate Maiden.
Youngest, Lady of Fire, you who are the energy of determination and drive
—
help me. I need your attributes. I'm not sure I can do this
.
I'm afraid. And I freely admit it. I'm afraid of failure; I'm afraid of success, and what it might cost me. I've never killed a person; I never thought I'd have to. I've never even seen anyone die. But if I am to use my gift, the gift that is my birthright and what I have struggled for all these years
—
I have to kill
.
Maiden, Goddess, why did you make it this way?
It's one thing to kill the doppelganger as an infant, to go through the ritual before your gaze, your holy starlight, has fallen on the child's face. The baby has no soul when it becomes two, and so the double can be killed without guilt, and the witch-child taken outside to be presented to you. But I do not doubt that, in the years it has been alive, my doppelganger has been in that starlight-has bathed in your light.
Does that mean it has a soul?
If it has a soul, am I right to kill it?
The question had been gnawing at Miryo for days, twisting her up inside even though she tried to put it from her thoughts. Did her doppelganger have a soul? If it did, could she in good conscience kill it, and go on with her own life?
The Maiden gazed down at her, laughing and carefree. Not worrying about consequences.
All right. If a man attacked me with a sword, I'd defend myself. And if there were no way to keep myself safe other than killing him… I'd do it. If there were no other choice. Souls don't matter, in that situation
—
or rather, they
do,
and I value mine above his. There is no wrong in killing when it is self-defense, when there truly is no other option
.
There
is
no other option here. I kill it, or my magic spins out of control and eventually kills me, and maybe other people along with me. How many times have I caught myself almost reaching for power, the words of a spell on my lips, waiting to be spoken? As in Haira. One of these days I won't be able to stop myself. So I kill my doppelganger, or it kills me. Two choices. Because I have a will to survive, I know which one I will choose. And I will live with the deed. I do that, or I die
.
The Maiden smiled blithely.
Lend me your energy, Lady of Fire. Lend me your passion and determination. Do not let me lose sight of what I have fought for all these years.
"In your name," Miryo whispered, and stood. She backed out into the center of the temple, where she bowed to each Aspect, and then left, Sai following without a word.
Hunters often laughed that every other person in Angrim was an agent. It wasn't all that far from the truth. Angrim played buffer between not one but two nearby Hunter schools: Thornblood to the north and Windblade to the south. Since the two didn't get along, the town's narrow streets were infested with their people, keeping watch from the overhanging upper stories of houses and shops. And other schools, having a vested interest in keeping an eye on those two, also seeded Angrim with their agents. The result was a city in which half the inhabitants were spying on the other half. Even those who weren't hired to gather information still sold it as a hobby.
Because of this rampant intrigue, contacting a Silver-fire agent was not so simple as it had been in Chiero. Mirage took the first step of the dance that afternoon.
"Beer and a leg of goat," she said, dropping onto a stool at an open-air bar in the eastern quarter, safely equidistant between the Thornblood and Windblade ends of the city.
The barkeep raised an eyebrow. "We don't sell goat here. Go to Razi if you want that."
"You should serve it; tastes better than lamb. But forget the food. I'll just have the beer."
He served it to her, and went about his business.
A little while later, Mirage spoke to him again. "Do you know any herb-women around here? I've been having some stomach problems."
"Where are you staying in the city?" he asked.
"The Fisherman's Hook," Mirage lied.
He nodded thoughtfully. "There's a woman two streets over, on
"Axehaft? That doesn't intersect Lord's Way."
He smacked his forehead. "Fletcher, I meant.
"Thanks," Mirage said, and left.
She had to grin as she left. The elaborate steps she had to tread to meet the contact, though necessary, were a very silly game. The request for goat had marked her as a Hunter; the stomach upset asked after a certain contact. Since she had named the Fisherman's Hook, he knew she was at the Cracked Oak. Urgony meant the contact would come tonight. The misnamed street said how.
She visited the herb-woman on
An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. One, then two quick.
Mirage rose and let in her contact.
"A 'female complaints' healer?" she said, raising one eyebrow mockingly. "What a dull disguise."
Wisp looked unamused, and since she had a face like a knife and had long since mastered the art of making her five-foot body seem ten feet tall, the look carried force. "I'm getting old. Climbing through windows is something I leave to stupid young Silverfires who need to show off their shadow-skulking. Stealth isn't all about hiding behind bushes, you know."
Mirage bowed. "Have a seat, then, and rest your old bones, which are no more decrepit than your tongue—and I see
that
hasn't lost any vigor."
That made Wisp grin, but only slightly. Her weathered face looked hard enough to fight a rock and win. A real smile might have broken it. "All right. What do you need?"
"Not much. A message to Silverfire."
"Which is?"
Mirage passed her the paper. The code on it was com-plex enough that Mirage always had to work to write in it; Wisp read it like ordinary lettering. "Huh. You bringing trouble down on us, girl?"
"I hope not," Mirage said. "But better to be safe than sorry."
"A good motto to live by, though not one most Hunters pay more than lip service to. Why in the name of the Warrior did you take this job?"
"You would have."
"Just because I was young and stupid doesn't mean you have to follow in my footsteps."
"Ah, but then you became old and wise." Mirage put her hands up in mock-defense against Wisp's glare. "I wanted a commission. And it looked like a challenge."
"You hate the witches. So why are you working for them?"
Mirage shrugged uncomfortably. She still couldn't explain it.
Wisp gave her a close look, and then nodded slowly. "All right. You're not the most levelheaded Hunter Silver-fire's ever produced, but you're not entirely stupid, and you have a good instinct." Her face grew even more serious then. "Watch out, though. The city is crawling with those damn bastards."
"Those damn bastards," in Wisp's lexicon, meant Thornbloods. "More than usual?"
"A whole crew of them have been here for the last week or so—between jobs, and champing at the bit. Watch out for them. I know you don't get along with their kind."
"I'll be careful."
"As if that means anything with you children. Five years out of school, and eager to prove you're the next legend. Burning Angrim down around our ears is not the way to do that."
Mirage grinned. "Trust me. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. I'll do my best not to get into trouble before that."
Miryo paced restlessly, back and forth across the length of her room. It lacked an hour yet until her plan could be put into motion, and every minute grated on her nerves like a rasp.
I might well be flayed alive if the Primes find out about this.
She blessed the Goddess for sending her
She forced herself to stop pacing and took a deep breath.
You've made the plan. Now see it through
. A half hour before the appointed time, she went downstairs. The most convenient thing about living in a house constructed by the Fire Ray was that it had structures built in to accommodate spies. It was to one of those she went, and there, alone in the stuffy darkness, she closed her eyes and calmed her breathing. Now she just had to wait.
A clanging sound; that would be the gate bell. Miryo's breath caught.
Footsteps. Sai opening the door, welcoming the visitor. Two sets of footsteps, one of them quite faint. Then Miryo put her eye to the spyhole, bit one fingernail, took it out of her mouth, and watched.
The Hunter entered the room.
very
few Cousins would have agreed to it. But Miryo couldn't bring herself to say to the Hunter, "Find someone who looks like me." Nor could she show the drawings; the effect would be the same. So she needed a substitute witch, and since Sai hardly ever opened her mouth, it had to be
"What is it you want done, Katsu?"
The disguised Cousin held out one of Ryll's sketches from Haira. "This woman is in Angrim. Find her. Bring her to me. Do not kill her. You have two days to carry this out. Your fee will be ten up front, and fifteen more upon completion."
The Hunter took the paper, and although the mask hid her expression from sight, Miryo received an impression of surprise, and perhaps even triumph. "I accept. You'll have her within a day."