Double Clutch (17 page)

I just concentrated on Jake. I made sure Saxon could see me bury myself in Jake’s arms. At the particularly steamy parts, I leaned up and kissed him briefly. He smiled down at me, and I knew it had to be obnoxious to anyone without someone of their own to kiss and cuddle. When the awesome last dance/jump sequence flashed on the screen, I drew my foot back and kicked Saxon. Hard.

“
Ow!” he yelped and looked at me with something between irritation and respect.

“
I’m sorry, Saxon.” I kept my eyes wide and my expression serious. “I had a leg cramp. I didn’t notice you were so close.”

“
No problem.” His look told me that he gave me his grudging respect.

When the credits rolled I said, “Jake, I think we get a refill. Do you want to get one while I use the bathroom? I think there’s going to be a line.”

“
Sure,” he said, then turned and gave me a quick kiss that left me wanting more.

It was excellent anyway.

As soon as he was gone I grabbed Saxon by the hand and dragged him to the lobby. There was no point in making a scene in front of all of our friends, because he would love that.

“
What do you think you’re doing?” I hissed.

He looked at me for a long minute with his eyebrows raised, clearly enjoying the entire situation. “You’re going to march me into the lobby because my fingertip touched your ankle?” he asked, his voice cavalier.

“
Don’t do that.” I shook my head and pointed at him. “Don’t twist it so I sound ridiculous.”

“
So what happened?” He reached out to put a piece of my hair behind my ear. I grabbed his hand, and held it, twisted out and away from my body.

“
This.” I held his hand up high. “You can’t touch me like that, like we’re together.” I gritted my teeth.

“
I wasn’t aware you were Jake’s absolute property.” Saxon twisted and pulled his hand slowly so we were almost holding hands.

“
I’m my own absolute property.” I pulled away from him. “And I’m asking you to stop.”

“
If touching your ankle does this to you,” he said, his body as close to mine as it could possibly be without actually touching me, “imagine what we’d be like
together
.”

“
You’re an idiot,” I spat for lack of better words.

“
Just a truth-speaker, baby.” He laughed at my back as I stalked to the bathroom.

Kelsie was in there. “Hey you!” She put on a coat of mascara and batted her eyes at her reflection in the mirror. “How’s your date?”

“
Going good.” I was still shaky from my conversation with Saxon in the lobby. “How’s yours?”

“
He’s very cool.” She winked at me. “Do you have the lipstick you’re wearing with you?”

“
Yeah, here you go.” I pulled it out of my purse and handed it to her.

“
Thanks. It makes your lips look really soft, almost like you’re not wearing lipstick.” She put it on carefully. “How do I look?” She pursed her lips for me.

“
Beautiful.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m going to pee. You going back?”

“
I’ll wait for you if you want,” she offered. Her eyes crinkled in their usual friendly way.

“
Thanks, but you go. Just tell Jake where I am if he looks frantic?”

“
That’s so cute.” She pinched my cheek. “You guys are already like some old couple.”

I rolled my eyes. “I know, we’re so adorable it’s nauseating.”

When Kelsie left, I thought about what I could do to combat Saxon and realized that was probably exactly what he was counting on. Saxon lived for mind games, and his touching my ankle had nothing to do with actually touching me and everything to do with burrowing deep in my head where I couldn’t get him out. I flushed and went to the sinks. I braced my hands on the cold white porcelain and looked at my reflection for a long time.

I was pretty. Especially with makeup and good hair and a cute outfit. But it wasn’t my made-up eyes or my crazy style that had Saxon attempting to tempt me with the tip of his finger on my ankle. My best guess was he liked me because I called him out on his bullshit. Maybe it was just novelty, or maybe it was an addiction. Because if I thought about being in a serious relationship with Saxon, I didn’t see the mind games ending; in fact I thought it would be just the opposite. Every word he said, every action he made would be to trip me up, keep me on my toes. And I was positive he would get happiness from it, perverse or real.

Who wants to be constantly on her toes with her boyfriend?

I washed my hands and felt like splashing water on my face, but I knew my mascara would never hold up.

I walked out of the bathroom and smashed into the wall of Jake’s chest. My hands went up instinctively, and I could feel just how threadbare the fabric of his shirt was.

“
Are you okay?” He cradled my face in his big hands. “You were in there for a long time.”

I grinned at him because his panicked worry was just right, just what I wanted. And I realized he was what I wanted, alone. “I don’t need Pepto, if that’s what you’re dancing around.”

His smile made his eyes crinkle up, and I loved it. “You want to go in?”

“
You know, I think they made a mistake putting
Dirty Dancing
first. How can you follow an act like that? I don’t think
Footloose
is going to cut it.”

“
What do you want to do?”

“
I want to buy you some cheap Chinese food.” I gave him my best sexy wink. I’m not ashamed to admit I’d practiced it in front of the mirror. Not very ashamed, anyway.

“
I can buy you dinner.” His offer was a tad defensive.

I knew I had to match his tone with an even more defensive one. “I don’t know why you won’t accept some food from me,” I huffed. “Are you going to be this ungrateful every time we go anywhere, ‘cause I won’t be coming in that case.” I raised one eyebrow at him, very slowly. And knew he was completely taken aback, and floundering to figure out what to do.

“
Alright.” He rubbed the back of his neck, then shook his head and put an arm around my shoulders. “Will your friends be worried about you?”

“
I’ll text Kelsie and tell her so they can meet us after if they want,” I said, and even as my thumb danced over the keys, I felt a slow burn of satisfaction when I imagined Saxon sitting in the theater, plotting. I wouldn’t think of him, even once for the next two hours. “Done. Let’s go.”

“
Where is this place?” He zipped up his coat.

“
Right around the corner.” I put on my scarf and hat.

“
Wait a minute.” He slid his phone out of his pocket, held it up, and aimed at me. “You look really cute. I’m going to take a picture of you. Smile.”

I did and he snapped the photo, then turned it so I could see.

“
I do look pretty cute. Come to think of it, so do you.” I slid my phone on. “Smile,” I ordered. He did, and the picture of him was perfect.

“
Wow.” He studied the shot over my shoulder. “That chip in my tooth is huge.”

“
No it isn’t.” I kissed his chin. “It adds character.”

“
Well, enjoy it while it lasts. Once I get a job with some dental coverage, I’m getting rid of all of this character.” We ran out of the lobby and were in the chilly afternoon before I could ask him why his dad didn’t cover him dentally and when the last time he’d been to the dentist was.

I was coming to realize anything I thought I wanted to ask Jake, I probably didn’t, both because I wouldn’t like the answer and because he wouldn’t want to talk about it with me.

We ran down the street. I liked the way the wind blew my hair back, and I had to swing my hand up to the top of my head to keep my hat from flying off. Jake’s boots thumped on the pavement next to me, and if I could have taken those few seconds and folded them up to keep, I would have. They were pretty much as close to perfection as I’ve ever gotten in my life. It felt like I was running right on the line between being a little kid and being an adult. I felt free and happy and giddy, but also loved and wanted and wanting all at once. The air in our lungs made our hearts beat hard and fast and our skin turned pink and went cool.

It was over almost before it started. Suddenly we were over the line and nearer to being adults, and that had its own appeal.

The restaurant was dim and warmly romantic, complete with a bubbling mountain fountain peppered with little porcelain pagoda houses and Chinese fishermen and women all over it. Red paper lanterns with gold symbols and tassels hung from the ceilings, and there were two walls of tiny booths and a few tables scattered in the middle of the room. A girl with shiny black hair and large yellow teeth brought us to one of the booths and set menus in front of us.

Jake shrugged out of his coat, and I watched the way he moved out of his clothes with a particular interest that reflected deeper things I wanted and felt.

“
Do you come here a lot?” He glanced around at the scrolls on the walls and the glossy menus.

“
No. When I was younger we did. Thorsten thinks they serve cat meat.” I flipped open the menu and thought about what delicious meal I wanted, unworried about my stepfather’s culinary prejudices.

“
Thorsten?”

“
My dad,” I said, not realizing I referred to Fa by his given name. That’s just how I thought of him.

“
Is he your real dad?” Jake moved the silverware back and forth with his fingertips.

I was almost offended, but I reminded myself this was Jake asking me. There was no one who deserved to know more about me than he did. “No. I’ve never met my real dad. Mom and Thorsten got together when I was in elementary school. He’s awesome.” My words came out really clipped, even though I didn’t mean for them to. Jake poured his heart out to me two nights before; I could certainly fill him in on the basics without getting snippy.

“
I bet he’s cool. I mean, he picked you and your mom, right? Obviously smart.” He studied the menu with serious eyes.

“
You’ve never met my mom,” I pointed out.

“
I saw her today.” He never took his eyes off of the menu.

“
No.” I shook my head. “You weren’t there until after she dropped me off. You couldn’t have seen her.”

He looked up from the menu and right at me. “I was there.”

“
But you didn’t come out to meet me.” I felt a little burr of nastiness. “I looked for you.”

“
I was watching you.” His eyes were dark and serious.

“
Why?”

“
Because you’re pretty.” He stated it like it was simple fact. It made me feel a warm, tingly rash over my skin. “Because I love the way you walk and how your hair is.”

“
How it is?” I teased.

“
Like long and always moving around. Like a wave. Or grass. Long grass. It doesn’t sound flattering, not like I meant it to.” His face showed the frustration I imagined he felt.

“
I’m pretty flattered.” I blushed at the difficulty of talking this honestly about things you don’t usually talk about. “I love when the wind blows the grass and it all ripples in a pattern. It’s beautiful.”

“
I’m sorry you have to take my weird compliments and try to make them sound normal.” He cleared his throat and pointed to the menu. “Did you ever eat the spring rolls here?”

“
I completely love your weird compliments.” I contemplated the menu, squinting a little as if I could make the tastiest thing pop out from the paper. “The spring rolls here are the best. Let’s get two combo platters.”

“
Alright.”

“
We’ll share. I want cream cheese wontons and sweet and sour chicken. What do you want?” I looked at Jake, and he looked uncomfortable, like he’d never ordered a plate of food from a restaurant. “Do you want me to recommend something?”

“
Just order for me.” He leaned across the table and spoke low, his eyes pleading.

The waitress came over, and I nodded to Jake. “Hello,” I greeted her. “We’ll have two combo platters, please. I would like cream cheese wontons and sweet and sour chicken. The gentleman will have the spring rolls and beef and broccoli. And we’ll both have Cokes. Thank you.”

His body actually sagged with relief as she walked away from the table. “Thank you. I get so freaked out at restaurants.”

“
Really?” I was completely shocked to hear this confession. “Don’t you race dirt bikes? How could that be less scary than ordering food?”

“
I’ve hardly ever been out to a restaurant, but I got my first dirt bike when I was four.” He unrolled his napkin and balled up the paper napkin holder. “So I guess it’s just what I’m comfortable with.”

Mom and Thorsten took me out at least a few times a month, and I had eaten in some of the fanciest restaurants in the country, the ones that had extremely serious, trained waiters, professional runners for your food, and people whose only job was to refill your water.

“
Well, next time we go out, you’ll have to practice ordering.” I folded my hands on the table like I just made an executive business decision.

“
So are you asking me on a second date?” He crossed his arms and leaned back, a huge smile on his face.

“
Oh yeah.” I narrowed my eyes and gave him an evil grin. “But just as a charity thing. You know, take a clueless guy out and teach him how to order food at a restaurant. You’re practically community service for me.”