Double Clutch (28 page)

“
You don’t know anything,” Saxon spat, shoving Jake back. All of his cool completely evaporated and was replaced by a boiling swell of emotions. “I watched your back, brother. I kept you out of trouble.” Saxon shoved Jake again.

“
You introduced me to every stupid thing I ever did.” Jake growled, grabbing a fistful of Saxon’s shirt and shaking him hard. “I should have lost you years ago. You’re a parasite.” Jake opened his hands and let Saxon go.

After a few heavy breaths, Saxon’s cocky smile came back out. He straightened his shirt and shook the hair out of his eyes, then ran a look from my head to my toes that made a blush burn on my skin. “Whatever. But don’t think you’re going to tell me who to like or not. And we’ll let the lady decide in the end. Best man wins?”

His look was all swaggering arrogance. I was torn between fear that he’d tell Jake the secrets we had and the urge to do it myself. I hated that he knew he had a stacked deck. Jake was furious, his fists balled.

“
Come on, Jake,” I willed him. “If a teacher finds us, we’re all screwed. Let’s go now.”

“
I’ll call you later, Brenna.” Saxon grinned and smacked his lips at me in a kissy face.

Jake was at him in a split second, his fist flying through the air and straight into Saxon’s jaw. I heared the thick thud of skin and bone crashing against itself.

“
Jake!” I cried.

Just then a teacher appeared at the end of the hall. “What’s going on down there?”

Saxon stood up woozily and moved his jaw back and forth a few times. “Nothing. I was just headed to calculus.” He pointed up. Before he walked away, he spit a tooth on the floor.

“
You two, get a move on!” the teacher snapped, looking absently at our passes. I bent down and grabbed the tooth before he noticed it. We ducked into the stairwell, waited a minute, the slid out the side doors while no one was looking.

Jake and I ran back to the truck. He still opened my door, though I would have preferred for him to step on it and rush a little.

“
Have you been talking to Saxon?” Jake asked, his voice cold.

I sighed. It was truth time. “I want to tell you…”

Jake cut in. “Never mind, Brenna. That’s exactly what Saxon would want. Me to doubt you.” He shook his head. “That prick. He knows what he’s doing five moves ahead of everyone else. Don’t even acknowledge I just asked you anything.”

I clamped my mouth shut and held it shut. What else was I supposed to do?

“
You hit him really hard,” I said softly.

“
I’m sorry, Bren.” He leaned his forehead on the steering wheel and shook his head from side to side. “I dropped my basket. I know it. Are you alright?”

“
Sort of.” I felt tears prick my eyes. “I’ve never seen you just lose it like that.” I opened my fist. Saxon’s shiny white tooth was in my hand.

“
Saxon’s tooth.” Jake swallowed so hard I could see his Adam’s apple jump.

“
That was pretty Biblical of you, Jake.” We both looked at the white calcified piece of Saxon.

“
A tooth for a tooth. Holy crap.” Jake shook his head. “I guess I should just let it go with Saxon now. I’m sorry you’re in his classes. I’m sure I made this a shitstorm for you.” He pulled out and drove slowly, focused on the road and all the thoughts I’m sure were running through his head.

I unclipped my seatbelt, slid to the middle, buckled the lap belt, and leaned against Jake’s upper body. He felt good and solid under my cheek. I dropped the tooth into the rusted ashtray.

“
Don’t worry. It will be fine.” I hoped it would be. I debated telling Jake about the government project, but I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t know if maybe I should just bury it with all of my other Saxon secrets. It was hard to know.

We drove for a while and finally pulled into a local state park overlook. The lot was completely empty. Below us was the spread of trees, gold and red and orange in the afternoon sun. Jake turned the engine off and grabbed an old blanket from the back. He took my seatbelt off and made me lay down on his lap, my head nestled against the muscles of his thighs. He ran his hand along the lines of my face.

“
My race is in a few days,” he said in the quiet of the cab.

“
Are you excited?” I tilted my head to look up at his face.

“
Yeah,” he said, but his voice was a little dull for Jake. “I don’t really know if I’m ready.”

“
Maybe you should practice. Is that how it works?” I rubbed my hand under his shirt, along the hot, soft skin of his stomach.

“
Yeah.” He laughed, but it was muted. “But I don’t have a lot of time now. I’m bumped to full time at Zinga’s. Just getting the day off for the race was a big deal.”

“
So, no weekends together for a while?” My heart sank a little.

“
Sorry, Bren. But now I can drive you back and forth to school.” His palm scratched along my cheek, and I pushed my face against it.

“
Jake, I can’t take rides back and forth with you.”

“
Why?” His voice was clipped, because he knew the answer.

I sighed. “Mom will not be cool with it. And you’ll be going out of your way. It’s too much time added on to your day.”

His hand stopped for a few seconds, then he started rubbing my head. “You were pretty pissed at me when I said I didn’t want to go farther, uh, physically.”

“
Yeah.” I felt a deep hussy blush. “Sorry.”

“
You are not.” He looked down at me, his wide grin. “It’s okay, you don’t need to be. I should have been more sensitive about your feelings, and I wasn’t.”

I sat up on one elbow and craned my neck to look at him. “This isn’t an apology, is it?”

He shook his head and said, “Nope. It’s a point. If I’m going to try to respect your wishes even though it makes me uncomfortable, shouldn’t you do the same for me?”

“
So you want me to be cool with you getting a lot less sleep and spending a fortune in gas?” I crossed my arms, annoyed.

“
Yeah, Bren. And I’ll try to be cool about you throwing yourself at me.”

I slapped him on the arm, and he laughed. I sat up and twisted myself around so I was facing him, and then nestled myself on his lap, my legs on either side of him and my knees pressed on the worn seat. The steering wheel was close at my back, so I was squashed against Jake.

“
I’ll let you pick me up tomorrow.” I ran my finger down his nose and to his lips, then pressed on them to keep him quiet. “But you have to wait at the end of the road for me. I’m not going to have this fight with Mom. And I promise I will ask her if you can pick me up on Saturday.”

He kissed my finger. “Thank you.”

“
Don’t thank me,” I warned. “It’s a trade.”

He closed his gray eyes and groaned. “What do you want?”

“
A lot of guys would be happy to have such a shameless girlfriend,” I balked.

“
Well, I’m not one of them,” he growled. “We don’t have to rush things. There’s plenty of time.”

And behind his caution for me, I could see a caution for himself. It had never really occurred to me how nervous this all might make him.

“
Are you nervous?” Way to go, super-direct Brenna.

“
Maybe I am,” he said, his smile a little embarrassed. “When you’re drunk, you always have this feeling like you’re the man. But maybe I’m not the man, you know? Maybe it was all an illusion.” His hands moved up and down on my back, rubbing in wide circles through my hair and shirt.

“
I don’t have a lot of experience, but I think you’re better than your hype,” I said honestly.

He kissed me softly. “Thanks. I want to be good for you.”

“
You are.” I pressed against him.

“
But?” he asked, his voice husky.

“
You could always improve. With practice.” I leaned my head to kiss him. My hair fell forward and brushed his face. His hands moved up my back and slipped up my neck then under my hair. He cradled my head, kissing me softly and surely.

He pulled back. “What do you want, shameless hussy?” He kissed my nose.

“
What I did for you,” I demanded, trying to keep my voice from wavering. Because, of course, I was nervous.

He kissed me harder then, rubbed his hands over me, moved them under my shirt and beneath my bra. I pressed against him and his kissing got erratic, his lips rubbing my face, cheeks, and neck. He moved his head down and pulled my shirt up. He looked at me, his eyes worried with questions. I nodded.

He pulled my shirt over my head, unsnapped my bra without fumbling and pulled me closer on his lap in the chilly afternoon light. His hands were on my back. He rubbed up and down slowly and made my skin a rash of goosebumps.

He looked at my body for a long time. His hand shook when he brought it up to my breast, his fingers careful on my skin. I felt a shiver erupt over my skin where he touched me and where I wished he would. Without looking away, Jake reached for the blanket and draped it over my shoulders. I saw him swallow hard before he moved his head down and kissed me on my breastplate. He leaned his forehead against me, and I felt his breath warm on my skin. Then he was kissing, kissing all over, and it was really good. I leaned into him, and just when I thought it couldn’t feel any better, he opened his mouth and sucked on my nipple. I could feel it get wet and hot between my legs, and that was becoming familiar to me now. His hands cupped my breasts and his mouth licked and kissed me, then sucked hard and once in a while he pulled away and groaned. He was hard.

I rubbed my body against his, not completely sure what I was doing, but just going on what made me feel good, then better.

His mouth still on my breasts, Jake slid his hand down and undid the button on my jeans, then slid the zipper down. He moved his big, rough-skinned hand down, underneath my underwear line. My eyes opened wide when I felt his fingers slide against me. He pushed them in deep, where I was completely wet, and then slid out and rubbed against where I felt most sensitive. He pulled his mouth away from my breasts and watched me closely. His fingers moved around, sometimes feeling uncomfortable, sometimes feeling so good, it made me close my eyes and pant a little. He took his cues from me, repeating whatever made me squirm and grab hard at his arms. Soon he had set up a rhythm, and I felt like his hand was some kind of key, unlocking something I had always wanted to feel, but hadn’t known how to get at. And then there was the feeling I had yesterday, but this time it shook my whole body. It felt like every muscle in me clenched hard, then relaxed and melted. I cried out and threw myself against Jake.

He pulled his hand away, and I lay against him, breathing heavily.

“
Are you alright?” he asked into my hair.

“
I think I came.” My body felt like I had just stepped out of a warm bath or plunged down a log flume or eaten the most amazing piece of chocolate cake with whipped cream, or maybe all of those at once and better. It was weird and awesome all at the same time.

He laughed. “Yeah. I could tell.”

I laughed too. “I love you, Jake.”

“
I love you, too.” He kissed my mouth, then found my bra and held it up, at a total loss for what to do with it. “Um, I have no idea how this goes on.”

I laughed and shrugged it over my shoulders, then reached around my back and snapped the clasp back in. “You’re an old pro at taking them off, aren’t you?”

“
I can’t believe you put it back on that fast.” His hands turned my shoulders so he could look at the closed clasp.

“
I wear one every day, Jake. When you first wear one, most girls put it on backwards, then move it around.”

“
But you’re a pro now.” He ran one finger under my strap.

“
I’ve had boobs for about four years.” I cupped my pink polka-dot bra covered ones in my hands. “They’re not much, but I like them.”

“
They’re really nice,” Jake said, a blush on his face. He smiled at my laughter. “Seriously, they’re the most perfect boobs I’ve ever seen.”

I laughed giddily as Jake pulled my shirt over my head. I loved him, and it felt so good. My body felt new, the way it had after a few months in Denmark with a different diet and exercise, but this change had been almost instant. I felt like me, but better.

“
You’re still hard.” I kissed his neck.

“
No way.” He lifted me off of his lap and sat me back on the seat. “It doesn’t always have to be about me. I haven’t always been able to stop when I needed to. This is good practice.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re just a chicken.”

“
Because you’re such a temptress?” he said softly, his hand on my cheek. “God, you’re so pretty, Brenna.”

And it was definitely the perfect thing to say. Because I melted right there and stopped arguing with him, and we kissed for a long time. In fact we kissed for so long, I lost track of time entirely.

“
What time is it, do you think?” I blinked in the warm, low sun.

He checked his cell phone. “Wow. Time to go. Now.”

We rearranged ourselves into normal sitting positions. Jake turned the key and the engine purred with a loud rumble. He started to pull out of the parking spot, then looked over at me. “Where do you need to go?”