Double Clutch (36 page)

“
Was she someone special?” I hoped it might be for a lot of reasons.

“
Yeah, Bren. I proposed to her right after she let me feel her up in someone’s parent’s bathroom at a house party. It was magical.”

“
Whatever,” I muttered, and turned my full attention back on Jake’s race. If Saxon wanted to purposefully stick his face in front of angry fists, that was his deal.

I made it a point to move far away from Saxon. I got my camera and took a bunch of pictures of Jake. Thorsten had gotten me a really high speed camera the Christmas when we were in Denmark. One of the features was supposed to be that it took really great action shots. It was how I got the one of Mom rocking out to “Yellow Submarine.” But I never had the chance to try it out on an actual sport. I was happy with the results so far, and I was already trying to figure out how they would look on silk screen.

“
These are the last two circuits,” Saxon said, sitting up. “Come on.”

We left our seats and went to stand by the guard rails where the bikes flew by so quickly and so close we could feel the heat of the bike engines.

We watched for a minute, and Saxon pointed to the tower where they waved a white flag. “We’re coming on the last lap. He still has the lead, but that bastard on the yellow bike is right on his ass.” And then Saxon did something that shocked me. “Come on Jake!” he screamed. “Don’t be a pussy! Watch your turns!”

“
I thought he couldn’t hear you.” I had never seen Saxon get so worked up and excited.

“
He knows.” He looked straight into my eyes. Then he turned back to the track. “Win this bitch, Jake! Come on, Jake!”

I screamed along with Saxon. Jake took the first turn wide and the yellow bike inched up behind him. I put my hands to my mouth and pressed, nervous for him. At the next jump, Jake gunned it and he flew past the others. I knew it must be risky from the way the front of his bike wobbled.

“
Oh God, don’t be stupid, Jake,” Saxon said lowly.

“
What’s he doing?” I felt a wave of panic overtake me.

“
He’s taking the jump way too fast so he can make up for lost time. But if he doesn’t land just right, he’s going to crash and burn.” Saxon gripped the guard rail, his knuckles white. “He’s going to get himself killed.”

He was genuinely worried about Jake. I put my hand on his, and he looked up at me and smiled a little.

“
Don’t worry, Blix. Jake will make the landing. Watch.” He didn’t sound sure so much as hopeful.

The bike was on the descent, and when it landed there was a shock of rubber and metal on dirt. My breath caught in my lungs as the bike skidded across the lanes. It looked like there was no way Jake could stop the inevitable tilt towards complete wipeout.

The stands were unusually quiet as everyone watched. Despite the laws of gravity, despite all reason, Jake righted the bike and sped ahead. He rounded the final turn and the checkered flag went down. The other bikes sped in behind him.

Jake won the race.

Saxon looked at me and held his arms up, screaming in triumph. He grabbed me and lifted me up, shaking me and screaming with happiness. He dropped me back with a thud and screamed again.

They announced Jake’s name as the winner. He rode to the stands and hopped off of his bike, pulled his helmet off, jumped the rail and grabbed me, covered in mud and sweat. I didn’t care.

“
You won!” I grabbed his face in my hands.

“
I did,” he grinned. “You were right here for me.”

Then he kissed me. His arms were around me and the roar of the crowds was behind us. I could feel his excitement from the win, and it was like I could taste the adrenaline on his mouth. He held me for a few more seconds, kissed me again, then jumped back down to get his bike.

Saxon grabbed my hand. “Come on. He’ll need help with his bike.”

We went to the truck. Jake was collecting his prize, a check for a hundred dollars, Saxon explained.

“
He could make a lot more. He could be a pro, no question.” Saxon pulled out a cigarette.

“
Does he want to?” I asked.

“
I don’t know anything about what Jake wants anymore.” Saxon’s mouth was set in a line. Jake hadn’t even acknowledged him when he jumped into the stands. I realized it had probably hurt Saxon.

I scanned the crowds for Jake. “Why are you here, Saxon?”

“
I had a grand riding on this.” He took a long drag.

I put a hand on his elbow. “Why did you bet on him?”

“
I told you, he’s a sure thing,” he growled. He didn’t shrug my hand off, but from the way he stared, I got the message that I was playing with fire, and I let it drop to my side.

I didn’t say anything else to him. Jake came over a few minutes later. He was breathing hard, and he looked exhausted.

“
Let me help.” Saxon stubbed his cigarette out under his boot sole.

Jake didn’t look like he had the energy to protest. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat, his shoulders sagged, and his eyes were red rimmed.

He and Saxon pushed the bike back up the dirt ramp and into the bed of the truck.

“
Good job, man,” Saxon said.

Jake squinted at him. “Thanks.”

They stood in awkward silence.

“
I’ll see you guys around.” Saxon turned on his heel and stalked away, hands in his pockets.

I watched Saxon walk away while Jake kept his eyes on his bike. “He bet on you.”

He swung his head to look at me. “What did he bet?”

“
A thousand dollars. Or he won a thousand dollars. Maybe you should bet on yourself sometime,” I suggested.

Jake looked at me hard. “He told you that?”

“
Yeah, when we were in the stands. He explained about the race. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know.” I looked at his face, trying to gauge if he was angry, but it didn’t look that way. Mostly he just looked tired.

“
Do you mind going to my place so I can shower?” he asked finally, dropping the whole issue.

“
No problem.” I pulled him to me and kissed him again. “I’m really proud of you. You did great out there.”

“
Thanks.” He wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug for a few long seconds.

We drove to his house, Jake singing along to the classic rock station at the top of his lungs. I laughed hard and joined him.

I was totally curious to see his house. We pulled into the lake and drove for a few minutes, winding down a few different roads until we came to a neat, boring white house. It was clean and maintained, but it was completely bland. There was no landscaping, no ornamentation, no decoration. It was just a little white box.

He parked and came around to open my door.

“
Am I going to meet your dad?” I asked.

He shook his head. “He bowls all day Saturday, then watches ESPN with the guys all night.”

“
He went bowling instead of going to your race?” I linked my hand in Jake’s.

His eyes looked hot and angry, and I wished I had kept my big, direct mouth shut for once.

“
Yeah.” He opened his front door and led me in. We stood in a small, depressingly plain living room. The walls were stark white. The carpet was brown. There were two old LazyBoy recliners and a plaid couch. I followed Jake to the kitchen, white with dark cabinets and a dingy yellow laminate countertop.

There was a small dining alcove with a dark wood table and four straight-back chairs.

“
You want something to drink?” Jake asked. “All we have is soda.”

“
I drink soda sometimes.” I smiled and looked around, taking in all the boring nothing in Jake’s house. “I’ll have one.”

It was the store brand, but I wasn’t brand picky when it came to soda. It all tasted like sweet bubbles to me. He led me to his bedroom.

There was a twin bed with a dark blue cover. There was a scratched desk with a lamp and a plain chair. A dresser in the corner supported a fairly old TV with an Xbox and a banged up PS3. A few motocross posters were tacked neatly on the wall, and Jake had printed the picture of me at the movie theater and taped it neatly right next to his bed.

“
I know.” He smiled apologetically. “It’s pretty boring.”

“
It is,” I agreed. “We could redo it sometime, if you wanted. If your dad was cool with it.”

He shrugged. “I mostly just sleep in here. My father never ever comes in here, so it wouldn’t matter to him either way.” I sat on his bed and he sat next to me. Then he pulled me back and we bounced against the mattress and laughed. He started to kiss me, but I, for once, held back. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“
I’m sorry. You’re getting dirt all over me.” The dirt on his gear was drying and crumbling.

“
I’ll fix that.” He jumped off the bed and stripped off his clothes, right down to his boxers.

“
You’re pretty comfortable getting undressed in front of me.” I had a hard time taking my eyes off of him.

“
You’re always figuring out some way to get me out of my clothes,” he accused. He put his stuff neatly in the hamper and smelled his own armpit.

“
Jake!” I yelled. “That’s gross.”

“
What?” he balked. “I stink. I was doing it out of consideration for you.” He pounced on me and pinned me to the bed. “I was just going to tell you I need to get in the shower before I overpower you with my pit stink. I’m a pretty nice boyfriend, aren’t I?”

I pretended to gag. “I can’t think. You smell too disgusting.”

He kissed me all over my face, and I giggled because his good mood was contagious. He jumped up and headed out of the room. “Five minutes. Try not to get in any trouble.”

The minute I heard the shower come on, I started to conduct a thorough search of his room, and I didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it. It was my right as Jake’s girlfriend to spy.

It was fairly disappointing.

His closet was disgustingly neat and tidy. He had barely any clothes, and they were all clean, hung up, and neat. The drawers of his desk held fairly normal things; a Swiss army knife, thumbtacks, scissors, a razor knife, a ruler, some glue and rubber cement. Next to his bed was a small nightstand. I was not surprised to find a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues. There was one little box under his bed. That was the only thing that made me feel at all guilty, but I looked in it anyway.

It had some Boy Scout patches, an old Spiderman action figure, a little first place MiniMotocross ribbon, and some pictures. They were mostly Polaroids, and mostly blurry. One was a woman with long brown hair wearing a tube top and big sunglasses. She was smiling and there was a baby on her lap. He looked like he could be Jake, but I couldn’t be sure. Babies mostly looked the same to me. There were a few more pictures of little Jake, some really cute school pictures and a Halloween picture where he was dressed as Dracula. There was one where Jake was probably six or seven. A dark eyed boy with spiky black hair had his arm around Jake. Saxon?

In the bottom of the box there was a little folded note. When I opened it up, I felt a warm, sweet heat flow through me. It was the note I’d written him in class, the one where he invited me to the race. He had kept it tucked in the box where he kept all his most valuable possessions. I ran my fingers over the creased edges.

I heard Jake come out of the bathroom and shoved the box back under the bed, then sat very still on his mattress, wearing my best innocent face.

“
Were you snooping?” Jake asked, a good-natured smile on his face.

I opened my mouth to deny it, then shut my mouth. No more lying.

“
Just a little. I was curious.”

“
That’s okay.” He waved his hand at the little bland room. “Sorry I don’t have much to snoop through.”

“
It was fun, anyway.” I sat on his bed and leaned back on my elbows.

He had his towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else on. His eyes looked me over hungrily. “I saw you in the stands the whole time.” He came to sit next to me on the bed.

His skin was still warm and damp, and it smelled so good, with that soapy-shower scent clinging to it. The gel had been washed out of his hair, so it fell messily, almost in his gray eyes. I caught a whiff of mint from his toothpaste, and when he smiled, that twisted eyetooth made my heart thud.

“
I watched you the whole time. And I was brave. There were many scantily clad girls who were not happy to know you were taken.”

He pulled me over and kissed me. “Definitely taken,” he said, his voice deep. He kissed me until I was lying back, my hands on his nearly naked body, running over the relaxed muscles. He was already hard.

“
I know where your lotion is,” I whispered.

He laughed. “Shameless hussy,” he said and kissed me again.

I took over then, and when I had satisfied him, he returned the favor, and then we lay in each other’s arms, staring at his too white ceiling.

“
It’s kind of weird that I’m still completely dressed and you’re completely naked,” I said in the comfortable silence.

“
That’s the kind of manipulative girl you are. Somehow you always convince me to get naked, whether I want to or not.” He kissed my nose. “But, speaking of my nudity, I need to get dressed if we’re going to get to the show on time.”