Double Dragon Trouble (7 page)

Mordred leaped onto the bridge. His face was eggplant purple. His violet eyes gleamed with rage. “STOP!” he boomed. “LET GO OF MY WHEELBARROWS!”

“All right, Uncle!” said Bilge. He raised his hands from the rolling barrow.

Mordred lunged at Bilge's barrow. But he was too late. It bumped over the side of the bridge and plunged into the moat. Piled high with gold as it was, it sank quickly to the bottom—if there was a bottom—of the moat.

Mordred clawed at his face in horror. “What have you done?” he shrieked.

“This, Uncle,” said Maggot. “He did THIS.” And he gave his wheelbarrow a shove.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screamed Mordred as the second wheelbarrow splashed into the moat and—BLOOP!—vanished.

“I'll save you, my poor gold!” Mordred cried as he leaped into the moat. SPLASH! He disappeared under the murky waters.

“Alas, poor Uncle Mordred,” said Angus.

“Bilge and Maggot are scary,” said Wiglaf. “No wonder Mordred tore up that ransom note.”

Mordred's head popped up in the moat. “Bilge!” he cried. “Maggot! Dive in and get my gold!”

“Fat chance!” shouted the little lads. They cracked up laughing.

Mordred's booted feet kicked up a splash as he dove down once more.

“Erica will be sad that she missed this adventure,” said Angus.

“But she will be very happy with the big, exciting story we shall write for the
DSA News
,” said Wiglaf.

“True,” said Angus, as Mordred's head popped up in the moat once more. “We've got a front-page story for sure.”

Written by students for students with absolutely no supervision! Vol. II

by Wiglaf of Pinwick

In a deep dark cave Angus and I were held prisoners. But it was not dragons that trapped us. It was Angus's twin cousins, Bilge and Maggot.

They wrecked the cave that was the retirement home of two lady dragons named Lucinda and Ethelred. When these dragons get upset, their crests pop up on their heads, their eyes shoot sparks, and their pearls glow like red-hot lava. They are VERY scary. But in truth, they are not half as scary as Bilge and Maggot.

Bilge and Maggot are DSA's newest students. Maybe if we are nice to them, they will behave. It's worth a try!

by Angus du Pangus

There we were at the bottom of a deep pit. Things looked hopeless for Wiglaf and me.

Then I remembered my stash of goodies. Wiglaf and I began eating Jolly Jelly Worms. Bilge and Maggot were watching us, and I could tell they were getting hungry. So I got out Graham Cookies, Medieval Marshmallows, and Cocoa Cubes. That did it. Bilge and Maggot threw us a rope, and we climbed out of the pit.

What did I learn from this experience?

Two things:

It is good to carry a little stash with you at all times.

It is bad to be related to Bilge and Maggot.

by Gwendolyn of Gargglethorp

Royal greetings to all! My parents rule Gargglethorp. That makes me a princess—duh! I am very good at getting my own way. Practically everything I have is made of gold: my hairbrush, even my toothbrush! I went to Pretty Little Princess Preschool. Then I attended Princess Prep. I made all As, but I got sick of taking classes like the Princess Walk and Princess Knitting. That's why I transferred to DSA. I love the new DSA lasses' uniforms. I am so into fashion, and read
Damsels' Wear Daily
like every single day! My closet is totally stuffed with clothes. (If you have any room in your dorm closet, let me know, will you?) Oh, and Wiglaf? How about sitting next to me in Slaying Class next week?

My Full Name is...
Princess Gwendolyn
Glorianna of Gargglethorp

My Favorite Subject is... Me!

My Favorite Food is...
Anything
served to me on a tray.

My Favorite Riddle is...
Why couldn't the princess
skeleton go to the dance?

by Angus du Pangus

A lovely dragon lady was kind enough to give me the recipe for a dragon-sized batch of dragonmint chip cookies. They're delicious and easy to bake—adjust cooking methods when necessary. Bon appétit!

Ingredients:
3 pawfuls wild dragonmint
6 pawfuls flour
⅛ pawful salt
7 pounds goose fat
2 pawfuls red hot sugar
4 pawfuls brown sugar
pawful vanilla
6 large goose eggs

Chop dragonmint until it forms a sticky paste. Roll into balls. Cut each ball into quarters to make chips. Set aside.

Combine flour and salt in a bowl. Set aside.

Cream together lard, red-hot sugar, brown sugar, vanilla, and goose eggs.

Add flour mixture to goose fat. Toss in dragonmint chips. Stir. Place batter on cookie sheet. Open your mouth and flame cookies until done. Enjoy!

Advice from Erica von Royale

DSA NEWS
is a school paper. We don't do articles on nearby villages. Why don't you pick a school-related topic?

 

 

As editor-in-chief of the
DSA NEWS,
I have the right say what goes into this paper. There will be no stories about Toenail.