Double Feature: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies (The Russel Middlebrook Series Book 3) (15 page)

"Leaving him trapped inside," I finished.

My mom nodded again. "To subsist on rainwater and rats and spiders."

I sat upright in my chair. "So I'm trapped in a cave? Is that what you're saying? I'm just that sanctimonious?"

"Min—"

"So, what, I should just ignore my principles? Not be bothered by Leah's brainless friends, or the fact that she's lying to the world?"

My mom shook her head. "That's not what the story is saying at all."

"Then what
is
it saying?"

"Just that if you demand that the whole world lives on your terms—that if you require that everyone sees everything
your
way—well, you can end up in a place that's awfully small."

I hesitated. I was still a little annoyed. I had to concede, however, that my mom's story made a legitimate point.

Russel's boyfriend, Otto, lived in another state, but he was coming to visit over Thanksgiving break. Wednesday night, Russel, Gunnar, Em, and I went to pick him up at the airport.

In the car on the ride over, I wanted to confess to Russel everything that was going on with Leah. I'd already told Gunnar, who had probably told Em. Things were still rough for Russel with his parents, but he wasn't in crisis mode anymore. He was my best friend, and he deserved to know.

For some reason, however, I couldn't get the words out. I thought about all the times I had acted all holier-than-thou around Russel. The year before, we'd started this secret gay-straight alliance called the Geography Club. At one point, we'd had to decide whether to stand up for this kid who everyone thought was gay and who everyone was bullying, or to stay quiet and protect ourselves from maybe being bullied too. This was the time that Kevin had acted like such a baby. I, of course, had made a big stink about how we couldn't compromise our principles. Yet now here I was with Leah, this person who basically agreed with Kevin, that gay people should just stay silent if it means jeopardizing their popularity. It wasn't that Russel would judge me for being with her; he wasn't like that. Still, having to explain it to him would make me feel like a hypocrite. Maybe I
was
a hypocrite. Or maybe my mom was right when she'd implied that I could be sanctimonious.

"So," said Russel as we drove along. "Has anyone figured out what the hell a 'brain zombie' is yet?"

"That is a damn good question!" said Em. "What
is
a brain zombie?"

"They haven't mentioned it in any of the scenes I've been in," I said.

"Me neither," said Russel.

"Just because we don't know the explanation," said Gunnar, "that doesn't mean there
isn't
one. Or maybe it's just a working title." Even now, he took any disparagement of the movie as a personal criticism.

"Okay," said Russel. "So I have another question."

"What's that?" said Em.

"Who do we think is turning the school
into
zombies? The principal, the janitor, or the school nurse?" By now, everyone else had figured out as much of the plot as I had.

"The school nurse?" said Em. "You mean Nurse Busty McNipple?"

"She's not that bad," said Gunnar.

"You would say that!" said Em wryly.

"What?" he said cluelessly. "No, wait, I'm not attracted to big boobs."

She whacked him on the arm. "Thanks! Thanks a lot!"

"It's probably the janitor," said Russel.

This made me perk up. Russel thought the villain was the janitor?

"I think so too," said Em.

"Yeah," said Gunnar. "I totally think it's the janitor."

"Wait," I said, surprised. "You guys all think it's the janitor?" How was this possible? Russel, Gunnar, and Em were all supposed to be
smart!

They all nodded or shrugged.

"There is no
way
it's the janitor," I said. "It's either the nurse, or someone completely different—maybe the captain of the football team."

"Min," said Russel. "In a nutshell? You're nuts."

"I am not!"

"Sorry, Min," said Em, "but Russel's right. It's the janitor."

"But what about the fact that the nurse is giving them all flu shots?" I said. "
That's
how she's turning the students into zombies!"

"It's a red herring," said Russel. "There's a reason they have the janitor acting all macho."

"That's the red herring!" I exclaimed. "It can't be the janitor. It's
always
the janitor." Telling Russel about Leah could wait. For the time being, I had to convince him and the others that it was Nurse Busty who was turning the students of our new high school into monsters—"brain zombies" or otherwise.

*   *   *

The next day, Thanksgiving, I had an early dinner with my family. My mom wore a sweater with a turkey on it that simply had to be seen to be believed. Afterward, I drove over to Gunnar's, where he, Em, Russel, and Otto were having a little Thanksgiving dinner of their own. Once again, I was somewhat preoccupied by the whole situation with Leah, but I confess, I had a very nice time.

At one point, I excused myself to go use the bathroom. The door opened, and the smell of cheap potpourri wafted out from inside. I'm not a big fan of potpourri, even the expensive stuff, but when it comes to bathrooms, I guess it's better than the alternative.

Otto stepped out.

"Oh," I said. "Hey."

"Hey, Min!" he said.

Otto was a friend of mine from summer camp, but I hadn't spent any time alone with him since he'd arrived the day before.

"It's so great you came to visit," I said. "Russel's really excited."

"You think?"

I was surprised he said this. Then again, Russel had been a little distracted at dinner. Was something going on between them?

"He is," I said. "Trust me."

Otto leaned back against the wall in the hallway. "I was so pissed when Russel's parents found out about me. I thought I'd have to cancel." Russel's parents had refused to let Otto stay with them, so he'd ended up staying with Gunnar.

"Are you excited about the movie shoot tomorrow?" I asked. Russel had arranged for Otto to be an extra too.

Otto thought for a second. "Yeah," he said. "Part of me wishes Russel and I could be alone. But I know Russel really wants to do it. Are you having fun?"

"On the movie?"

He nodded.

Was
I having fun on the movie? I honestly didn't know. The past few weeks had all been about Leah. I had barely paid any attention to everything else going on around me.

"Sure," I said. "I guess so."

"What?"

I sighed. "Well, it's complicated."

"Too complicated to talk about just passing someone in a hallway, huh?"

I laughed. "Yes, I think so."

"Yeah," he said. "I know what you mean." He thought for a second. "But I have an idea."

"Yes?"

"Let's give each other some advice."

"Advice? What kind of advice?"

"Just…advice."

"But we don't even know each other's problems," I protested.

He winked at me. "That's why this is such a great idea."

"Okay. But you have to go first."

He thought again, then said, '"Before you run in double harness, look well to the other horse.'"

"
What
?" I said, laughing out loud. "Where did that come from!"

"I don't know," said Otto, smiling. "I just always liked the way it sounded. Besides, it's
good
advice."

"I guess it is—if you live in a Charles Dickens novel."

Otto kept smiling. "Well?"

"Well
what
?" I said.

"Does it help you with your problem?"

I had to think about it. Point of fact: it fit the situation with Leah perfectly.

I stopped laughing. "Yes, actually. What do you know about that?"

"So?" he said. "What's your advice for me?"

It was a little discombobulating how comfortable I felt talking to Otto. It immediately reminded me of being with Russel. I recalled how at camp I'd felt that way around Otto too; the two of them were so much alike that being with one was almost like being with the other. They were both sensitive and funny and so very clever. They were also emotional and passionate, but still very much optimistic about life. Mostly, though, they were both just fun to be around.

"Give Russel a break," I said at last. "I don't know why he's been distracted, but don't worry. He really, really loves you. And God, is he the right guy for you."

"Wait," he said, laughing. "That doesn't count. That's real advice!"

"I know," I said, turning for the bathroom. "But I still think it's good."

*   *   *

I was dreading the next day, Friday, when we'd go back to shooting the movie. I'd seen Leah on the set the previous Sunday, but we had barely talked since Saturday night when we'd run into her friends on McKenzie Street. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, or if I should even say anything.

Friday was the day they finally turned us into full-fledged zombies. They made me up as a zombie-cheerleader, with rotting green skin and bloodstained pom-poms. As zombies go, I looked amazing, but I couldn't enjoy it, because I was preoccupied with Leah.

I was the last person out of makeup, so when I finally got to the set, they had already finished shooting the first scene. The second shot of the day was another view of the hallway outside the principal's office. When I got there, I saw that they had made Leah up as a zombie-band geek. They'd even given her a bent flute.

This was ironic. I was the cheerleader, and she was the geek. It also meant that if they did things the way they always had before, they would cluster us together with the other members of our cliques: cheerleader with cheerleader, band geek with band geek. In other words, I wouldn't have to spend the whole day standing next to her. In
other
other words, I was avoiding her again. With all the avoiding that I'd been doing lately, I felt like I was back in the seventh grade.

Careful not to make eye contact with Leah, I joined Russel, Otto, Em, and Gunnar.

The director explained how we extras were just supposed to trudge back and forth in front of the door to the principal's office. This time, however, a puddle of blood slowly seeps out from the crack under the entrance. The students at the school, full-fledged zombies now, take no notice of it, and slog right across the growing pool, smearing bloody streaks and planting red footsteps up and down the hall.

Clearly something horrible had happened behind that door. Had the principal killed someone, proving that it was he who was responsible for turning the school into zombies? Or perhaps some zombie had killed the principal, eliminating him as a suspect completely. As extras, we weren't privy to the scene behind the door. Any screams, meanwhile, would be added later, in looping, so I had no way of knowing whose blood was on the floor.

We did the first take. I passed right by Leah, but we were both in zombie mode, so I didn't have to acknowledge her. The fake blood on the floor smelled oddly sweet, like the frosting on a birthday cake.

"Excellent!" said the director when we were done. "Now let's do it again!"

Doing another take, however, meant cleaning up the mess we'd made on the floor—not to mention replacing all of our now-bloody shoes. Something told me we weren't going to be doing fifteen takes of this particular scene.

While production assistants mopped up all the blood, other assistants gave each of us a box of new tennis shoes. Leah was already changing her shoes at one end of a row of folding chairs. I sat down next to Russel at the opposite end of the row.

"So this either proves it's the principal, or it eliminates him completely," I said to him.

"What?" he said. "Min, there's no way it's the principal. I already told you, it's the janitor."

"Personally, I still think it's the nurse," I said. "Or the captain of the football team."

Russel laughed. "It's the janitor! Trust me, Min. There's a reason why we shot that scene in the computer lab."

"It's not the janitor!" I expostulated. "What about whatever's locked in the nurse's closet?"

"Your skin is coming unglued," said Russel.

"What?" Was this some kind of new insult?

"Seriously," he said. 'Your peeling zombie skin? It's peeling all the way off."

I reached up to feel my face. He was right. I was losing one of the little patches of green skin that they'd glued to my face to make it look like I was rotting.

"I'd go to makeup and have them reattach it," said Russel. He nodded toward the still-messy floor. "You've got plenty of time."

"Okay," I said. "But this isn't over. When I get back, we're going to have this out once and for all."

Russel rolled his eyes. I stood up and proceeded toward the makeup department.

I turned a corner and immediately found myself face to face with Leah. I thought she'd still be back changing her shoes, but she must have gone to the bathroom.

"Uh, hi," she said.

"Oh," I said. "Hi."

She fidgeted, looking as edgy as I felt. Why had I listened to Russel about going to makeup? He'd managed to get me mixed up with Leah yet
again
. This time, however, I didn't want to have anything to do with her.

"Just so I'm clear," said Leah. "You're avoiding me, right?"

'Yes," I admitted.

"Oh. Well, thanks for being honest."