Down the Shore (12 page)

I saw Colin sitting on our bench and he wasn't alone. He was sitting with a girl from work, Maddy. She was beautiful with naturally curly blond hair, huge brown eyes and she looked like she just stepped out of a Victoria's Secret catalog. I was jealous. I stared at him, and he felt it. He looked back at me with those beautiful brown eyes. I knew he wasn't going to wait for me. He'd given up. I had made my choice and now with Nick's body underneath me it was painfully obvious to him. I jumped down from his back and kissed him goodbye.

"Thanks for the walk. Will I see you tonight?"

"Absolutely! Want me to pick you up? There's a party in Margate tonight. Wanna go?"

I looked back at Colin and Maddy flirting with each other. I couldn't believe my eyes. He'd moved on, just like he said. I had no reason to be jealous, yet I still was. I'd made the decision for him. He was done with me. I stared at Colin for another minute before I felt Nick's hand running up and down my arm. I shifted my attention back to him.

"You know what, that sounds great. Just pick me up at the house. I want to shower before we go. Elevenish, is that okay?"

"See ya then, beautiful.” He winked and smacked my backside.

I could tell it didn't go unnoticed by my new “friend only” looking on, grimacing at the spectacle he'd just witnessed. I waved to him as I walked inside. He ignored me.

It was a long night. I had the same tables as the first night and could see Colin at the bar outside. He was truly the most drop-dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen, and it was obvious I wasn't the only one who thought so. Of course, I knew he was beautiful and girls probably threw themselves at him all the time, but it didn't make it any easier to see Maddy hanging all over him. He seemed willing to entertain her throughout the evening. I kept telling myself not to worry, that it was nothing. He was my friend, pure and simple.

It didn't hit me until the end of the evening when I approached the outside of Clancy's. Colin was still tending bar, and Maddy waited for him on the stool to finish his cleaning. The restaurant was closed; it was just staff at this point. He and she sat there casually, laughing and both smoking. She reached up to touch his face, his perfectly chiseled face. My body quivered at the display. I didn't want him to see my disappointment, so I turned my back to them and walked away. I could feel his stare, but it didn't matter. I just kept moving my feet. I had no chauffeur tonight. I moved through the crowd of people, thinking about what they were going to be doing later tonight. It was crowded and the amusement park was mobbed with teenagers. I felt like I was on a mission, a mission to convince myself that I had chosen the right one. I started to walk faster to get home; I wanted to see Nick and I wanted to see him now.

I quickly showered off, dried my hair, threw some clothes on, blotted some makeup on and sat patiently waiting for my date. I kept looking at the clock. It was well after eleven and he had not shown up yet. I could hear noise above. I wasn't worried; I was sure he would be down. It was my nerves, that's all.

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He came barreling down just before midnight to get me. I felt excited to be with him, to really start our relationship. I opened the door; he looked amazing. He was wearing a beige linen shirt, slightly unbuttoned with a pair of khaki shorts and tan loafers. He smelled just as wonderful as he looked.

"I'm ready,” I stepped out the door.

He reached down and kissed me. “You look great."

I kissed him back with more passion than I'd ever done. I didn't know what came over me. I hoped he could feel it, too. He kissed me harder, pushed me back inside and closed the door behind us. Within two seconds we were spread out on the couch, holding each other, kissing frantically. His hands moved rapidly up and down my body.
I'll let him, just this once,
I thought.
I'll stop him when I've had enough.
I'd lit a fire inside of him, and I couldn't breathe anymore. His lips were so intense. I pulled back suddenly, ending our night of passion as quickly as it started.

He sat up. “What's wrong? I thought you wanted to?” he asked, staring down at the carpet.

"I'm sorry. Not yet, okay?” I got up feeling frustrated with myself.

"Let's go, huh?” I pulled him up from the couch.

He didn't seem mad tonight. I thought he almost expected me to stop him. We walked out to the car and he opened my door, helping me inside.

The Margate party turned out exactly as I thought it would; lots of half-naked tanned girls drinking more than they could handle and men drooling all over them. I was never really like that. I didn't mind having a drink, but I knew my limit. I wanted to let a little loose tonight. I didn't have to go home to mommy and daddy anymore. No one was there to wait for me to walk through the door.

I could feel Nick watching me throughout the night. He kept my cup of beer constantly full. I occasionally slipped into the bathroom to pour out what he had given me. I hated not being in control of myself, and I didn't want to give him a reason to take advantage of me. At one point in the evening, I walked out to the deck to get some fresh air. The house felt stuffy, and it was packed with people grinding to the music. I felt him come up from behind me. He grabbed me, leaned in and kissed my neck. I jumped and yelled when I realized Nick wasn't the one groping me.

Before I knew it, Nick had the guy pinned down so fast I couldn't even comprehend what was happening. People were racing outside to see them fighting on the deck. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

"Don't you ever touch her again, clear?” Nick punched my groper one last time. He grabbed my hand and reached into his pocket for his keys. It was over. They guy still laid on the deck, his hands covering his face, screaming at Nick.

"What the hell's wrong with you, man? I think you broke my nose,” he yelled, as blood spilled out around his fingers.

"What the hell? Who was that?” I never got a good look at the boy who grabbed me.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing. It's over. Trust me, he won't come near you again.” I could feel his hand as he rubbed my back.

My head was spinning. “I don't understand. Why would I worry? I'll never see him again, right?” He was just some random guy at a party. Did he know who the person was? Was this a friend of his? All these thoughts ran through my head.

"It was Aidan. It's nothing. Like I said, he won't come near you again. End of story.” He pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. I was happy he had come to my rescue, that he wanted to protect me.

"Aidan? Your friend Aidan from the restaurant?"

"Yeah, some friend. What an asshole.” He took my hand and walked me back into the house and down the stairs.

It was late when we got back, just after three. He grabbed my hand, pulled me up to my door and asked if he could come in.

"Feel like a sleeping buddy tonight?” He cocked his eyebrows, not sure how I would answer.

I pursed my lips. “Just sleeping?” I paused. “Right?"

"I'll be on my best behavior,” he promised, holding his two fingers up like a Girl Scout would.

It would be the first time I'd ever done anything like this, sleeping with a boy, I mean except for my brother on the occasional vacation. I stood in the bathroom staring at my reflection in the mirror, looking for things to take time. I brushed my teeth twice, washed my face and brushed my hair. I couldn't stop the inevitable. Nick was lying in my bed, waiting for me and he probably expected a little more than kissing.

After I lingered in the bathroom long enough, I casually and quietly tiptoed back into my room. I was never so nervous in my entire life. My hands shook; sweat had found its way onto my forehead. Did I want to go through with this? I heard soft whistling coming from my room. I peeked through my hair to see Nick fast asleep. A sense of relief washed over me. I pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, resting my chin on his chest. When he flinched, I quickly turned over onto my side and hugged my pillow before I fell asleep.

When I woke to the sound of rain, it was still early. A storm had rolled in overnight. The thunder cracked, the lightning fierce, striking every few seconds. I had almost forgotten Nick was lying beside me. He was so still, not moving, just breathing in and out, snoring lightly. I couldn't help but stare at him. The sheet barely covered his half-naked body. I didn't remember him going to bed like this. He must have removed his shirt somewhere in the middle of the night. I had seen his chest before, several times at the beach, but I suddenly felt uncomfortable having him lying next to me. My thoughts ran to my folks, and what they would think of my decision. What would my father say if he knew? Would he be disappointed in me? Of course he would. Lost in my thoughts, I felt the warmth of his hand gliding over my stomach and reaching up through my shirt. He was careful where he touched, but I was pretty sure what his motives were this morning.

"Good morning.” He rolled onto his side and kissed me, his eyes still closed.

"Morning,” I jumped out of bed. “Coffee"

"Sure, Abby.” I read the frustration on his face. He was still waking up, rubbing his hands through his hair and over his face.

"Milk and sugar?” I didn't know what else to say. He had to be able to see how nervous I was.

"Abby, why don't you come back to bed?” He patted his hands on my pillow. “I'm not going to do anything, I swear."

I stood in silence just looking at him, not knowing how to react.

He looked outside. “It's miserable out, c'mon,” he pleaded, smoothing his hand over the sheet.

"I'll be right back.” I ran into the bathroom and frantically brushed my teeth. I didn't want my first sleepover to be ruined by bad breath. I quickly worked my way into the kitchen to make the coffee, and waited impatiently for the last drop to drip into the pot. I poured two cups and took a deep breath before turning back to my bedroom. When I walked in, he was already fully dressed, staring out the window, looking out my window at the storm.

"Hey, I have your coffee."

"Thanks, but I'd better go,” he sighed.

"Why? You just said..."

He stopped me. “Just thought of some things I have to do. Later though, okay?” He leaned down, kissed my forehead, turned to walk away and he was gone.

He had kissed my forehead. That couldn't be a good sign. He kissed me like a friend, no passion, no feeling. I lay around all day, moving from the couch to my bed and back and forth, wondering what was so important he had to leave me. I had the night off and was happy I didn't have to face Colin and his fan club. I didn't even care. I was more concerned that my morning had ended so abruptly, and that it was my fault. I watched soap opera after soap opera, talk shows, even Spongebob. The day went by slowly, and I hadn't heard from Nick. The rain stopped just after six, and the sun burst through the clouds, trying to dry the streets. The humidity was overwhelming.

I was starving. Makenna and I had made plans with several girls from work to go into Avalon to see a band play. I hadn't really paid attention to my attire; I was still wearing my sweats from the night before.

"Why aren't you getting ready?” she asked.

I sprang from the couch, “Shit, give me twenty minutes, okay?"

I quickly showered, threw on my favorite little sundress and raced out the door.

It was after seven and we had a half hour drive to Avalon, where we intended to have dinner and dance the night away. At the WindDrift, a two-man band played alternative music until eleven. The WindDrift had always been a great place to hang out with friends. It was a mixture of families, young and old, all looking for a good time, somewhere to just have fun. I used to go there every year with my parents. I counted the WindDrift as one of my favorite places. It had been progressively getting warmer once the rain stopped. People were back outside, walking and riding bikes.

Once we arrived, we took the last two tables in the far back corner. Others joined us and before long we had twelve girls, all sitting, talking and having fun. Slightly after nine, the band finally took the stage to play. They were both young, maybe early twenties, grungy, cute and had great sultry voices. They played some classic Jimmy Buffett, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty. But, when they played The Kings of Leon we all jumped out of our seats, practically leaping onto the dance floor. It was so much fun and we didn't care who watched us. We took over the entire dance floor. For the first time since I had come down the shore, I truly felt like myself.

We had not been dancing for more than ten minutes when Makenna tugged on my arm, and whispered in my ear,

"Oh, my God, he's here.” She pointed over to the bar with her eyes.

"Who's here?” I asked. I didn't want to stop dancing.

She rolled her eyes, “Colin Murphy, that's who.” She turned my body so I faced in his direction.

I stopped dancing immediately, as I noticed him staring at me. He sat casually at the bar, no more than thirty feet from me, drinking beer with his friends.
Illegally
, I thought to myself. I turned back to my friends, keeping up the charade. I didn't want him to ruin my night. In that brief moment, I wished I were of age or had a fake ID. I needed a drink, something to give me the courage to go talk to him. I didn't expect to see him tonight, friends or not.

I grabbed Megan's arm, “Did you tell Colin we would be here?"

"Nope.” She grabbed both my hands and we moved to the beat of the music playing in the background.

I couldn't think, or concentrate on anything.

"Is he still staring?” I asked, biting down on my lip.

She peered over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, “I don't think staring is the right word,” she paused. “More like drooling.” She kept laughing.

"This is ridiculous. I'm gonna go talk to him, be right back.” I turned to approach him.

I could tell I caught him by surprise, but he never took his eyes off me. They never wavered. I had to admit I was a little nervous as I walked over to him.