Dream a Little Dream (18 page)

She'd said she could use the experience for her writing. So why had he foolishly thought it would be any other way?

Pushing aside his disappointment, he focused on her. Despite everything, he was going to enjoy the day. If it killed him.

He prayed for God to show him the way. He prayed for some answers.

Though she didn't seem fully engaged in her sur
roundings, Molly started asking questions about cattle and auctions specifically. Conversation helped ease the tension between them. The way she was drilling him with questions, he figured she'd be a seasoned pro when they finally arrived.

While he, on the other hand, was reminded that she loved what she did.

It was a part of her that would always be there. Listening to her ask questions, he thought about all the times since he'd known her, how he'd been drawn to her. And suddenly, like a bucket of ice water in the face, he saw that the part of her he'd thought he couldn't live with was, in fact, one of the things about her that intrigued him and drew him to her.

Her commitment, her excitement about her writing, her determination—they were all attributes he admired. They were all qualities that made Molly who she was. And despite everything he'd gone through with his dad's rejection, he couldn't help loving her.

 

Molly knew she'd talked nonstop all the way to the cattle auction, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. Her nerves were shot, had been ever since she'd pushed the button on her answering machine and heard the words she'd waited all her life to hear.

At first she replayed the message four times, standing beside the machine with one hand over her mouth.
World View Magazine
wanted to interview her at their office in New York. They were considering one other candidate, but the personal quality that
Molly brought to her work had them looking at her in a highly positive light. Plus, the overseas travel was extensive, making the job well suited to a person with no qualms about being on the move. According to her résumé, she met all qualifications perfectly and should expect things to go well for her in the final interview phase.

By the fourth time she played the recording, she knew something was wrong. After years of dreaming about a job like this, she'd expected, even anticipated, her reaction would be one of overwhelming excitement and joy. She'd initially felt it during the first listen through. But then reality had set in, and everything that would occur if she took the job came crashing in around her.

She would have to leave Mule Hollow, which she'd known all along. She'd been prepared to leave it behind from the very beginning. Why then was this sense of mourning suddenly giving her second thoughts? Molly started pacing the living room.

She'd worked so hard for this. She wanted it with all of her heart. Sought it. And she would have it.

By the time she'd crawled into bed and turned off her lights, she'd thanked God for leading her and giving her the opportunity of a lifetime. All that was left before she flew out on Sunday was to tell Bob.

Why was it so hard? Just tell him!

She kept telling herself that as they wandered from pen to pen and he explained his reasons behind his bid on each bull, steer or heifer he chose from the masses. It was a lovely day and the auction wasn't exactly what she'd expected. It was very impressive, extravagant
actually, and she realized early on that Bob wasn't just buying any cattle. He was purchasing top-quality stock to build a life on.

A life for the family he wanted.

By the time they were heading home, Molly didn't care to talk anymore. Bob on the other hand took up the slack and was exposing more of his plans for his ranch. He seemed totally and completely unaware that she'd shut down. Molly realized it was because he was looking toward his future, his dream. The dream that was so far removed from hers, she was out of her element even thinking about it.

All was quiet when they pulled into the yard and Bob backed the trailer up to the pen where the new purchases would spend their first night on his property.

While he went to let them out of the trailer, Molly hurried to her car. Her heart was heavy, aching as it had been all day. With every mile they'd come closer to home, she had fought back tears. And all she wanted now was to get away.

“Molly,” Bob said, startling her as he tapped her on the shoulder. “Where are you going?”

She turned toward him. They were standing in the square of light cutting a path across the yard from the open double doors of the barn.

“I'm going home, Bob. I had a very nice day…”
Coward!

“Molly, what's wrong? You've been quiet all the way here. Talk to me.”

“No.” She swung away from him, unable to look in his eyes. But she owed it to him to be up-front. Slowly
she turned around and met his solid gaze. “What am I doing here, Bob? What are we doing here?”

He took a step toward her, cupping his palm around the back of her neck and gently tugging her toward him. “I stopped asking that question halfway home, Molly. All I know is that we're here. For reasons I can't fully comprehend, we are here.”

He searched her eyes. Molly's heart was beating uncontrollably and her throat felt as if it would explode with the effort of holding back the tears welling within it.

Bob wrapped her in his embrace and slowly lowered his lips to hers. His eyes met hers just before their lips touched and Molly thought her legs would buckle from the emotion warring in his beautiful eyes. In his powerful arms, his heart racing against hers, Molly thought she could stay in the moment for the rest of her life. And for an instant the world disappeared as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. His hand came up to cup her jaw as if she were a delicate flower and she sighed against his lips. It was such a gentle and sweet gesture and the kiss was so full of promise that it broke Molly. Suddenly she realized that this was the Miss Right kiss—the one she'd wanted but dared not hope for. With that thought a tear slipped down her cheek before she could stop it.

It was a heartfelt wish come true, but she knew now, nothing could ever really be between them. She could never be the woman of his dreams.

She could never be the traditional housewife and mother that he so fervently wanted. There were so many things against it. It would never work and she knew it.

Her heart was pounding and every fiber in her body
was fighting her as she gently pushed against his shoulder breaking the kiss. “I have something to tell you. I'm leaving for New York the day after tomorrow. I—” She forced lightness into her heart that she didn't feel. After all she was going after her dream, this was the best for both of them. “I have an interview with
World View
. It's everything I've worked for. Everything I've dreamed of.”

Bob blinked. His nostrils flared as he sucked in a deep breath. “I see,” he said, looking at his boots. “It's a done deal?” His gaze met hers.

Molly shifted from one foot to the other. “Pretty much. One other candidate, but they said the odds were in my favor.”

He gave a curt nod, sucking in a deep breath. “It was inevitable, your dreams coming true. You deserve it.”

Molly smiled but didn't feel it. He wasn't even trying to hold her back. What had she expected? They had become close over the past few days…maybe not as close as she'd thought. If he was feeling the strain she was feeling, wouldn't he at least try to hold her back? Or maybe he just understood better than she did that no matter how many kisses they shared, they were still worlds apart when it came to anything lasting that could connect them.

Why did that make her want to cry? “Well, I need to go,” she managed. “You'll be okay?”

He nodded, blinking. “Yeah. Like I told you. It's time for me to get back to my life.”

She took a step, toward her car. “Yes. You do need to do that.” She stopped backing up. “I had fun. This week.”

He nodded. “Me, too.”

She spun away and hurried inside her car.

“Molly.”

“Yes.” She looked back, a thrill of expectation slicing through the darkness in her heart.

“Good luck.”

“Oh.” What had she been expecting? “Yes, th-thank you.”

A
dela patted the chair beside her. “Come. Sit with me before you go.”

Molly set her suitcase down on and eased into a wicker chair beside the matching one that Adela was sitting in on her front porch. Molly had been so overwhelmed at the shower that they hadn't had a chance to talk.

“What scares you, Molly?”

Molly didn't want to hear that question anymore—she didn't really know the answer.

Adela laid a delicate hand on her arm. “I've been watching you and reading your articles since you moved here. You write about how wonderful Mule Hollow is and you write about all the successful weddings we've had, yet I sense there is a part of you that doesn't believe.”

“Believe?”

Adela leaned her head slightly and her smile saddened. “You don't believe…in…”

She studied Molly for the longest moment, and
Molly felt as if the deepest secrets of her heart were being exposed. Her heart began pounding, and she felt her palms begin to sweat.

“…you don't believe in happily ever after.”

Molly looked down at her hands, unable to see the truth reflected in Adela's eyes. Unable to sit, she stood and started pacing. Storming to the end of the porch, she stared down Main Street, then she whirled around and stalked back to where Adela sat patiently, her hands folded in her lap. Her expression was one of patience.

Molly ran a hand through her hair then grabbed the chain at her neck. “I see the hope of happily ever after.” She let her hand drop and slap herself on the thigh. “But then I look around and I don't know, Adela. Is it just something that really only a few lucky people actually achieve? I mean here in Mule Hollow there is a sense that love can survive. It's one of the things that drew me here. But out there—” she let her hand fly out in an arch “—I don't know. It's like everything has to be perfect in order for love to make it through all the garbage that the world throws at two people. I can't even begin to figure out my folks' problems. They just didn't work. Whatever the great common denominator to a happy marriage was, they didn't get it. It's so easy for some people.” She was rambling, she knew it, but there was a lot to get out. It was as if now that she'd started talking about it, she couldn't stop the flow. Everything wanted out.

“Molly, there is a common denominator. The Lord.”

“True. That's the way it's supposed to be, but I see
Christian marriages fall apart every day, too. It's not as easy for most people as it was for you. Or for Norma Sue or Esther Mae.”

“So you think my marriage was easy? Molly, most marriages take a lot of hard work and focus. I think that one of the reasons so many fall apart is that it
is
hard work. Even for people who love the Lord.”

Molly sank into the chair again, remembering all the harsh words she'd heard her parents yelling over the years.

“Molly.”

“Yes, ma'am.” She looked up from her hands to see Adela smiling.

“I can't tell you why every marriage doesn't work. There are too many variables, but if a couple puts God at the head of their household, and if a man and a woman love each other unselfishly, seeking God's will first, then they can have a beautiful life together. And so much fun and joy. Believe me, there is enduring love out there. Life is much more when you can walk hand in hand with the one you love.”

Molly sighed. “Oh Adela, I'm so confused. After all these years I have the opportunity for the career that I've always wanted, or thought I wanted until I fell in love with Bob.” She loved Bob Jacobs.

The realization stunned her. It wasn't as if it had blindsided her. It was more that it always had been there. Like the way Bob had shown her to ease into the saddle on her first horse ride, she'd eased into understanding that what she felt for Bob was love. “But there are so many things that make it impossible.” She spoke the words to Adela, but also to herself. Just because she
acknowledged that she loved him didn't suddenly make everything in her world right.

“Nonsense. Nothing is impossible. Two people just have to seek God and then work together to make it happen.”

Molly wasn't so sure of that. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Adela nodded, her blue eyes full of encouragement.

“What about you and Sam? I mean, I've been watching you and I know you love each other.”

Adela's smile faltered and she looked down the road toward Sam's Diner. “I've loved Sam always as my friend. He's more dear to me than anyone on earth and he's loved me always.” She paused thinking. “Molly, I'll share this with you because maybe it will help you. Maybe that's why God set this meeting up. Sam is a stubborn man. Full of pride and fear. I would marry him in a minute because I truly believe that God has blessed me with loving not once, but twice in my lifetime. But my Sam.” Her smile broadened. “My Sam, I think, fears that I could never love him like I loved Theo. Deep in his heart, he's jealous of the love we shared. I think he's afraid to have faith that our love can be as special.”

Molly couldn't miss the sadness in Adela's voice as her smile faded. Forgetting her own worries, she scooted to the edge of the chair and reached for Adela's hand. Such a wise and loving woman.

“Have you spoken to him about this?”

The older woman squeezed her hand tightly. “No dear. I can't fight Sam's fight for him. He must work through his own faith and come to realize that God
blessed us with each other. I pray that one day he will wake up and trust my love enough to ask me to marry him. But even if he never does, it doesn't change my love. It is here for him. Patiently waiting.” She patted Molly's hand. “Now, you should go. You don't want to miss that plane.”

Glancing at her watch, Molly was surprised at how time had flown. It was true, if she was going to catch her flight she needed to get on the road now. Reaching out, she hugged Adela. “Thank you. I'll see you when I get back.”

Picking up her suitcase, she placed it in the back seat, her heart feeling heavier than the case. Her dreams were on the verge of coming true and all she could think about was Bob.

“Adela,” she said, before closing her door. Adela smiled. She was standing on the steps, her hands folded together, watching Molly. “Pray for me.”

She nodded. “I am.”