Dream Lover (21 page)

The moment his breath fanned against her lips she was lost, passion ignited then of one mind their lips parted and met. She sighed, he groaned as they kissed passionately, his hands moved across her body gently, hers moved across his urgently, while her body craved more than his touch.

Suddenly she twisted her face away breaking their kiss, ‘No stop, I won’t...’ she gasped pushing him away.

Max rested on his elbows and looked down into her face, ‘Why not?’ he asked looking into her eyes.

She shook her head, ‘Because… it’s just sex,’ she pulled the sheet across her breasts, ‘you don’t love me…’

‘That’s never stopped you before,’ he told her evenly.

She pushed at his shoulders, ‘You’re heavy, please move.’

‘What’s changed?’ he turned onto his side ensuring he didn’t lean on her. ‘We both enjoy sex, making love, whatever you want to call it,’ he brushed his fingers gently down her cheek, ‘it’s always damn good and we are married after all...’

‘Yes we are and you should have remembered that before you took a girlfriend!’ she snapped moving further away from him.

Max moved quickly and caught her chin in one hand, for an instant their eyes clashed, ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured softly before releasing her.

‘Sorry what for, I found you out or you married me?’

He glared into her face for a moment, ‘Work it out for yourself, you’re an intelligent woman,’ he sneered at her.

‘You bastard,’ she whispered sliding from the bed, this time she locked the door when she went into the bathroom to cry.

Max stayed at home all day, each time he walked into a room she would walk out. Eventually she went into the nursery and locked the door behind her.

‘Open the door Quinn,’ he demanded hammering his fist against the wood, ‘open it right now, before I break it down!’

She opened the door and walked out as he walked in, by the end of the day he had taken every lock off every door, with the exception of the entrances to the house.

Meal times were a battle of wills, ‘You are not moving from this table until you have finished that meal,’ he told her.

‘I am a grown woman I’ll eat when I want and what I want,’ she snapped, pushing the plate away.

‘Yes I am aware of that,’ he told her evenly, ‘I haven’t see you eat all day and you’re not moving until you do,’ he pointed toward her stomach, ‘that’s my child you’re carrying and I seem to remember you promising to look after it,’ he reminded her.

Quinn glared up into his face, ‘that’s all you’re interested in isn’t it?’

He surprised her by leaning across the table and catching her face in one hand, looking straight into her eyes he told her, ‘Yes and if I have to force feed you I will, one way or the other you will eat properly. My child will not suffer because of your immature behaviour.’

Quinn clenched her teeth together and swallowed hard, she didn’t attempt to speak she couldn’t her throat hurt too much, but not nearly as much as her heart did.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The following day Max returned to work; Quinn wandered aimlessly around the house her mind in so much turmoil it was impossible to relax. A telephone call from Sophie came as a blessed distraction.

‘You sound…down is everything okay?’ Sophie knew Quinn well enough to recognise the false brightness in her voice.

‘Yes…no, oh Sophie I just don’t know what to do…’

Twenty minutes later Sophie had been told the whole sorry story of recent events.

‘How could you marry him knowing he doesn’t love you?’ Sophie asked.

‘I…I thought he would, but all he cares about is the baby,’ she added sadly.

‘Would you like company?’

Under an hour later Sophie was sitting with her arms around her friend holding her while she sobbed despondently. When she saw how unhappy her friend looked she was tempted to contact Maxwell Cordell and tell him just what she thought of him.

Two days later it was Quinn’s twenty-fifth birthday. Cards and flowers arrived from friends and family but nothing from Max. All day her mood changed from not caring to deep depression that he hadn’t even bothered with so much as a card. All she wanted was a card so that she knew some part of him still thought of her.

By the expression on his face when he arrived home that evening she guessed he had forgotten it was her birthday. Quickly the flash of guilt was replaced by the blank stone-faced expression he had taken to wearing when around her.

Quinn busied herself putting the finishing touches to his meal, tapping her feet to the music playing loudly on the kitchen unit, feigning an air of indifference, while inside her heart was breaking. She was aware he was standing in the doorway watching her; determinedly she ignored his presence until she finished filling his plate with food. Casserole again, each night for nearly a week she had given him casserole. All ways different each night, chicken, or pork or beef, sometimes she served it with baked potatoes other times with boiled potatoes or rice.

‘Turn that din off,’ he demanded nodding his dark head toward the c.d. player as she placed the plate on the table.

‘No I’m listening to it,’ she was only playing it loudly because she knew it annoyed him.

He caught her arm as she started to move away, ‘I’m sick of casserole, isn’t there anything else?’ he asked pushing the plate away.

‘No,’ she smiled into his angry face.

‘Have you eaten?’ he asked seeing only one plate.

‘Yes,’ she told him tapping her feet to the latest hit by the latest boy band to hit the music scene.

‘What did you have?’ he asked while prodding a piece of chicken around his plate.

‘Steamed fish, boiled potatoes and vegetables,’ she told him placing a cup of tea on table, ‘followed by cake and a small glass of red wine.’

He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment before speaking, ‘I would have liked fish,’ he said pushing his plate further away, he would have liked anything other than casserole.

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and turned off the c.d. player, ‘Isn’t life a bitch?’ she said softly leaving him sitting alone in the silent kitchen.

They were getting ready for bed when he brought up the subject of her birthday, ‘I’m sorry I forgot...’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said off handily, almost convincing herself it didn’t matter he had forgotten.

‘Yes it does, I don’t want you to think it was deliberate…’ he started to say.

She wrapped her dressing gown around her shoulders before turning back to him, ‘Please don’t bother, I don’t want anything off you.’ Quinn had no idea where the rest of her words came from, she certainly hadn’t thought of them before they spilt from her lips. ‘Except a divorce,’ she said and watched his face pale.

‘What?’ he asked with a look of incredulity.

‘You heard a divorce,’ she told him calmly. ‘No cards, flowers or meaningless trinkets, just a divorce, that’s the only present I want off you.’

‘You really mean it don’t you?’ he asked after a long silence.

‘Yes, why shouldn’t I? We don’t love each other, all we do is make one another miserable,’ she told him calmly, inside she was falling apart but she was not going to let him know, so bravely she lifted her chin and looked in to his stunned face.

‘What about the baby?’ he asked.

‘A child needs their father to be part of their life, I just don’t want you in mine,’ she gave him a cool appraising look before carrying on. ‘It would achieve nothing to make things unpleasant for anyone concerned. I won’t make things difficult for you to see your child,’ she informed him.

Max stood open mouthed and listened as she calmly told him how things would be. He had never seen her so controlled or so calculating in her efforts to hurt him. For one of the few times in his life he was stuck for words, he sensed if he attempted to say what he wanted she would have something tucked up her sleeve to hit him with. Something very hard and hurtful and so for the time being kept his mouth firmly shut.

‘We’ll stay together until after the baby’s born,’ he said breaking the silence.

Shaking her head she told him, ‘No I don’t want to stay here any longer than is necessary,’ she turned and looked to where he stood, seemingly rooted to the spot.

That was enough to bring him out of his state of shock and they argued for over an hour. In the end he talked her into staying. ‘The nursery is ready, and you’ve always said you like this house,’ he argued, ‘why give yourself more work to do having to start again?’

He was right of course; she would have to find somewhere, more likely than not it would need decorating. ‘You stay here, I’ll move out but not until after the baby is born,’ he reasoned. ‘I’m not leaving you on your own...’

‘And I’m not staying here to be your wife,’ she glared up into his stunned face, ‘in any shape or form!’

At that moment he decided she must really hate him and he was almost ready to give the freedom she seemed to desperately want. For the next few long moments they glared at each other across their bedroom, while Maxwell wondered how things had become so bad.

‘I’ll stay on the understanding you don’t expect me to cook for you, I’ll keep the house clean but that’s all,’ she conceded. ‘You can start by sleeping in another room, if you don’t I will.’ Her voice filled with steely determination, hiding the desperate need to feel his arms around her, hiding the fact she didn’t care he didn’t love her, hiding that she still loved him and would for all time.

So in a state of shock he agreed, at that moment he would have agreed to anything just so long as she didn’t leave him, or send him away all together.

Over the next few days they hardly looked at each other, to Maxwell’s disappointment Quinn looked more relaxed than she had for weeks. He was passing the nursery when he heard her talking softly, he stopped closed his eyes and listened. He could visualise her sitting on the floor, gently stroking her stomach while whispering softly to their unborn child, telling him or her she loved them. He opened his eyes, unaccustomed tightness in his throat made it hard to swallow, and he suddenly realised he missed her more than he thought possible. Missed her in his bed, missed her swollen stomach pressing into his back and the gentle kick of their child. Missed the way she would wrap her arms around his neck and swing herself up into his arms, ‘I love you Maxwell Cordell,’ she would say looking straight into his eyes, he’d never told her once he loved her and now he’d never get the chance because he was sure she didn’t love him any more.

Quinn spent hours in the nursery, sometimes just looking at the tiny soft sheets and blankets or opening and closing the miniature chest of draws. She had finished the painting and decorating, the room was soft lemon and pale green the furniture white. Max had brought a big white rocking chair home for her to sit in while she nursed the baby, but for now she sat and rocked herself while she cried for hours.

The phone rang as she was making her way into the kitchen, half expecting it to be her mother she lifted the receiver to her ear hiding her surprise when she heard Max's voice.

‘It’s me,’ he spoke softly into her ear, ‘I was just ringing to see you were okay, are you?’ he asked after a moments hesitation.

‘Yes, fine,’ she replied after her own slight hesitation.

‘I was concerned…’ he started to say.

Quinn cut in quickly, ‘I won’t do any harm to your baby,’ it was hard to keep the edge from her voice.

‘I never thought you would… I didn’t ring to fight,’ he said quietly, ‘I’ll see you later.’ When Quinn didn’t reply he cut the connection turned his chair and stared out of his window.

A growing number of employees of Cordell and Smyth were concerned by the change in the Chairman, almost overnight he had changed from the loud dictatorial employer who very rarely closed the door to his office, into the one who sat in his office all day with the door tightly closed not taking calls and avoiding meetings whenever he could.

Maxwell was still looking out of his window nearly an hour later when Paul came into the room.

‘Maxwell,’ he called as he walked across the expanse of thickly carpeted floor, ‘they are waiting for you in the board room.’

Max turned around with a deep frown creasing his brow, ‘Hell I’d forgotten,’ he muttered looking at his p.a. ‘I’m not really in the mood, clear my diary for the next few days will you,’ he asked while ignoring Paul’s surprised expression.

Paul sat in the vacant seat the other side of Maxwell’s desk, ‘Sorry no can do, not until…’ he opened his diary, ‘the day after tomorrow. You look like…hell,’ he decided after looking him over for a few seconds.

‘Yea, well I don’t feel much better,’ he said quietly after a few moments silence. ‘Did you always know you loved Melissa?’ he asked taking him by surprise with his question.

‘No not really, I only realised after we split up for a while,’ he gave a half laugh, ‘I was terrified she wouldn’t come back to me. Did she make me suffer!’ he laughed again. Taking the plunge he asked, ‘Problems?’

Max sighed and nodded his head vigorously, ‘You could say that,’ he lifted both hands and ran them through his hair, cursing softly when the phone rang. Paul lifted the receiver quickly and took the call; pressing the privacy button on the phone he told Max they were still waiting for him in the boardroom.