Dreaming on Daisies (26 page)

She crossed her arms. “Fine. I won’t talk to him now, but this business needs to get settled. Pa has to face some things about the past as well as the present, and Tom had better do the same.”

She turned and headed up the steps to the house, then pivoted to face Steven. “Forgive me, Steven. It’s not your fault either, but I find it hard to accept that you seem to have so much compassion for Tom after the way he’s behaved.”

He opened his mouth, but she was suddenly too weary to hear more. “We’ll talk another time, if you don’t mind. Right now I need to go to my room, read my mother’s letter again, and figure out what I’m going to do. Thank you for staying with me when I talked to Tom, and forgive me for my frustration. I meant what I said about you being a good friend and hoping you might be to Tom, as well, even if I don’t completely understand your reasoning.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

May 18, 1881

Steven settled behind his desk at the bank with a quiet groan, wishing he were back at the ranch. It was getting harder and harder coming to work each day, leaving Leah behind with her troubles and facing his own challenges, both at work and in his family life. His relationship was getting smoother with his sister and mother, and he thanked the Lord for that.

But he needed to make some important decisions. His job no longer held the thrill it once had or offered the same stimulating challenges. He’d hoped that the move to Baker City would bring contentment, but he realized anew that his position in La Grande had been eminently more satisfactory.

Was it because he was stuck in an office day after day at this new position, and he’d been able to travel while working in La Grande? Or had the discontent with his job come after living at the ranch and the fulfillment he’d found working with his hands? Whatever the case, he couldn’t continue this way much longer, disliking his job and praying the hours would pass quickly until time to close.

The gate set in the wood rail moved soundlessly, but the motion caught Steven’s eye, and he glanced up. He rose to his feet as his boss carefully closed the gate behind him. “Mr. Hunt. Did I miss an appointment with you, sir?” He peered at the clock sitting on a nearby shelf and racked his memory, but nothing came to mind.

His boss shook his head. His suit, as always, was impeccable, and his eyes sharp as he surveyed Steven’s office, then refocused his attention on his employee. “Getting along all right, Harding? Any troubling customers lately?”

Steven tried to contain his surprise and cover his unease, wondering where this was leading. “None to speak of. The usual requests for loans and an occasional extension, but nothing of consequence.”

He gestured to a chair. “Would you care to have a seat, sir?” He waited until the older man sat, then took his place behind his desk. Why had Mr. Hunt come in here instead of calling him into his office?

“I’m happy to hear that.” Mr. Hunt smoothed an imaginary wrinkle on the front of his lapel, then looked up. “Are you happy working here, Mr. Harding?”

“I, uh—certainly, sir. Why do you ask?” Steven straightened, praying his boss wouldn’t pick up on his hesitation and press the matter. “Is my performance of concern, sir?”

“Not at all, Mr. Harding.” He cast a look over his shoulder at the empty bank and lowered his voice. “By the way, I would have asked you to my office, but Mr. Parker is setting up in there for a meeting with some of the mine owners in an hour or so.”

He leaned his forearms on the front edge of Steven’s desk. “This is a bit confidential, which is why I came first thing this morning before we open the door to customers.”

“I see.” Steven didn’t, but he had no idea what else was expected. “How can I help, Mr. Hunt?”

“By giving me a satisfactory answer to what I’m going to propose.”

Steven’s mind scrambled over the possibilities and came up blank. “I’ll certainly try to be accommodating, sir.”

Hunt rapped his knuckles on the desk. “Good, good. That’s what I like to hear from my men.” A broad smile creased his face, a rarity except when in the company of large investors. “Here’s the situation. You remember Mr. Marvin Riddle at the La Grande bank, I assume?”

Steven gave a slow nod. “Of course. He was the vice president while I was there. A good man, as I recall.”

“I’m sure he is, but that’s not the issue. He’s been promoted and will be heading up a branch in Pendleton in two months’ time. The bank makes a number of substantial loans to farmers and ranchers in the area.”

Steven listened closely but still couldn’t decipher where he fit into this. “I’m happy for Mr. Riddle. He’s a hard worker and deserving man.”

“Quite so.” Mr. Hunt scooted his chair closer to the desk. “The board that governs all three banks, which I happen to sit on, met recently to decide on a replacement. We are offering the position to you, Mr. Harding, assuming you care to accept. I am aware that your mother and sister both live in Baker City now, but since La Grande was your mother’s home for a number of years, I imagine she would be content to return.”

Steven fumbled for words, but none came. He gave his head a slight shake, hoping to clear it. “Me, sir? The vice president?”

“It’s quite an honor, and of course, comes with a sizable salary increase. I can’t imagine anyone turning down an opportunity like this, but it’s your choice. You have one month to give me your decision, unless you feel you can tell me now?”

“No, sir. I mean, thank you, sir.” He forced a smile. “I’m quite honored, and I do appreciate the time to mull it over. You are correct. I have family to think about, as well as other considerations.”

“Certainly, Mr. Harding.” Hunt frowned and tapped his fingers on the desktop. “And if by chance you come to a decision sooner than thirty days, let me know. The board has another man in mind who already lives in La Grande, but you were at the top of our list. Other than family responsibilities, I can conceive of nothing that should cause a conflict.”

He pushed to his feet and towered over Steven’s desk. “Of course, we’ll be sorry to see you leave us here in Baker City. You’ve done an admirable job since you arrived, but I imagine you’ll want to accept the board’s offer.”

Steven stiffened but kept his smile firm. “As I mentioned, there are other considerations, but that doesn’t mean I’ll turn it down. Thank you again, sir, for your generous recommendation. You’ve given me much to think about.”

Hunt’s frown deepened, but he smoothed out the scowl as he spotted the owner of one of the mines.

Steven waited until his boss exited his office and disappeared inside his own door before sinking back into his chair. What had happened? Had the past ten minutes been real, or had he imagined it all?

Steven looked out over the main lobby of the bank as a line of customers formed at the first teller’s window and another two prominent businessmen strode toward Mr. Hunt’s office. Mr. Parker stood nearby, balancing a tray of coffee like a butler instead of a bank clerk. Business as usual.

Leave Baker City and move back to La Grande? Would his mother even consider such a thing now that she’d found Beth? Probably not. In fact, he knew she wouldn’t. Maybe Beth and Jeffery would think about moving to La Grande. His career as a writer and hers as an illustrator didn’t depend on the town where they lived. But somehow he doubted it. Beth seemed to have made friends at the boardinghouse, as well as the church, and Jeffery appeared quite content in Baker City. Besides, it appeared Beth’s adopted aunt intended to settle here as well.

Where did that leave him? The opportunity to take a vice presidency, which of course was only a stepping-stone to running a bank of his own, was immense.

Leah. Why hadn’t he thought of her first? The offer had hit him so hard and come so unexpectedly that he was surprised he’d even thought of his family. But it wasn’t as if he had any ties to Leah beyond friendship, although he’d change that if it were up to him.

There had been times recently when he’d touched her that she’d responded in a way that made his heart leap, but other times she puffed up like a startled porcupine.

He blew out a frustrated breath as another memory surfaced. Yesterday she’d appeared upset at his suggestion that she leave Tom alone and allow him to think through the turmoil assailing him. Somehow she’d seen that as taking her brother’s side rather than how Steven meant it—a warning that pushing Tom could result in more hurt for her.

He’d hoped that explaining his struggles with his own family would help Leah understand her brother a little better. But in all fairness, Tom wasn’t an easy person to be around. He hadn’t helped his case by keeping the truth from Leah all these years, no matter his excuse.

Steven dipped his pen in the ink pot and drew a blank sheet of paper from a stack. Time to get to work and put personal issues aside. Mr. Hunt would want this report by the time his meeting ended, and he’d better have it ready, or the offer of a new position, or keeping this one, might not be something that need trouble him any longer.

Chapter Twenty-Five

May 25, 1881

Steven hitched sideways in his saddle and peered across the brush-covered ground at Leah riding her gelding nearby. A week had passed since Mr. Hunt’s offer, and he still hadn’t told a soul. He’d planned on talking to Beth and his mother, and possibly Leah, but something held him back—more than likely, his own indecision, or possibly, concern over the various reactions of the women he cared for.

Leah brushed a strand of wayward hair from her eyes, then tugged her hat farther down on her forehead, but she didn’t turn his way or seem to notice his regard. Steven shrugged, content not to break the silence, even if he wasn’t enjoying his thoughts. They had another couple of miles to go, pushing the cattle to a grassy meadow.

He shifted to the fore again, keeping his focus on a cow and calf that kept trying to wander off the trail. What would his sister think of his proposed move? Would it bother Beth to lose her brother so soon, after so recently reuniting? Or was she so wrapped up in her new marriage that she’d barely notice?

He grimaced, ashamed of his thoughts. It probably was no more Beth’s fault than his own that they hadn’t spent time together lately, since he’d been burning the candle at both ends between his job at the bank and his work at the ranch. He hadn’t even visited the boardinghouse to see his mother as often as he should.

Ma would likely be torn between happiness for her son and grief that she might lose touch with him. But La Grande was only a two-day ride from Baker City, and he would assure her he’d visit. Ma would never move back with him, Steven knew without asking. Beth had become her world, and even his leaving wouldn’t change that.

He reined his horse sharply to the right and bumped him with his spur, urging the gelding after the rogue cow. She darted around a tree and ducked into a stand of brush, her calf galloping close behind.

Leah’s horse broke into a canter and headed toward them. “Need help?”

He waved a gloved hand. “No, thanks. You’ve probably got enough ornery critters on your side of the herd.”

She nodded and moved in a wide arc, returning to the outside flank of the couple of dozen head still moving forward.

Steven pushed his mount a little harder, and they reached the stand of brush at the same time the cow and calf broke through. “Aha! I got you now.” He uncoiled his rope and swung it, dropping the loop over the cow’s horns, then looped his end around his saddle horn. The bawling cow dug in and pulled, but only wrestled for a moment before she dropped in behind Steven’s gelding. She swung her head and bellowed for her calf, then trotted along behind.

Steven moved closer to the cow as they neared the herd, shaking out his rope and flipping the loop over her head. “Go on now and don’t run off again.”

He slowed his gelding to a walk and fell in along the flank opposite Leah. What would she think if he told her about the possible move to La Grande? Would she be sorry to see him go, or shrug it off, figuring it nothing more than an inconvenience that she’d need to find another cowhand to take his place?

Truth be told, she’d be better off to find someone steady who could help her and Charlie and give a full week’s work, since Tom didn’t pull his weight as many hours as they needed. Maybe he shouldn’t mention it until he’d made up his mind whether to take the job.

But why stay? The vice presidency would give him a solid financial foundation, and it wouldn’t be long before he could purchase his own home.

He looked around him at the mountains in the distance and the broad expanse of lush pastureland that stretched clear to the base of the foothills. La Grande was beautiful too, but this place was special. Was it only the beauty of the landscape that drew him?

His gaze drifted to the woman sitting on her horse as though she belonged there. Leah was born to the land and loved it with every fiber of her being. If only he believed she could come to care for him, as well.

She chose that moment to shout and wave, jerking him back to his immediate surroundings. “We’re here. Let the herd settle.”

Steven reined to a halt and rested his hands on the pommel. A spring-fed pond about twice the size of a large settler’s cabin glistened in the sunshine. A creek ran out the end closest to them and wended its way through the meadow. The cattle drifted toward the water, dipping their heads as they neared and stopping to drink their fill.

Leah trotted her horse around the rear of the herd and slowed as she neared him. “We made good time and didn’t lose a single head.”

Steven chuckled. “Not for a lack of trying on the part of that spotted cow and her calf.”

Leah’s laughter rang out, clear and full of quiet joy. “There always has to be one.” She dropped her reins on her horse’s neck. “I love this life! The blue sky, the green grass, the feel of a horse under me. I even love these ornery cattle.”

He grinned, her joy contagious. “I’m not sure I agree with the cattle, but the rest sounds good. I’ll miss it all if I leave.” The words slipped out before he’d realized it.

Shock swept across Leah’s features. Her arms fell to her sides, and then she reached for the reins and pivoted her horse to face him. “What do you mean? Are you planning to leave?”

If only he could take the words back—return to the earlier happiness. He’d ruined a perfect moment and caused her worry. But maybe it was better this way. It wouldn’t be fair to spring it on her if he should decide to take the position. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so? What, exactly, does that mean?” Leah stared at him, her gaze steady, her eyes bright. Her smile trembled a bit. “You’re scaring me, Steven. What are you hiding?”

“Nothing. I’m simply working through some things and trying to make a wise decision.”

Her smile faded. “About leaving the ranch.” The words were flat, almost without expression, as though waiting for more and not sure how to process it.

Now Steven really wished he’d kept quiet, but he was in it too far to back out now. He couldn’t lie to Leah—wouldn’t lie to her. She deserved to know the truth, whatever it cost him. “Actually, possibly leaving the area.”

“Really. I see.” Her eyes met his for several seconds and then swung away. “I’d hoped that you and I—” Her voice choked. “I need to get back. We’ll talk on the way to the ranch.” She urged the animal into a fast walk.

Steven closed his eyes for an instant, then followed. “Will you let me explain?”

She kept her gaze trained straight ahead. “What is there to say? You’re moving away. I should have expected as much. When do you leave?”

He nudged his horse forward and bent over, grabbing her reins and hauling her horse to a stop. Somehow he must break through the frozen reserve she’d built and make her understand. “I didn’t say I was leaving, only that it’s a possibility.”

Leah yanked on her reins. “Let go of my horse, Steven.”

He tightened his grip. “Not until you listen to me. If I have to, I’ll haul you off that horse and hold on to you until you do.”

Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Frustration boiled in Steven’s chest, and he released his hold on her reins and swung his leg over his saddle. “Won’t I, though?” His boots thudded as he landed. He dropped his horse’s reins on the ground and stalked around to where Leah sat unmoving.

Leah stared at him, then backed her horse a few paces. “All right. I’ll listen. You needn’t get so riled.”

He stopped one stride from her leg, his fingers itching to pull her from her horse and kiss her until she collapsed in his arms. If only he could tell her how he felt, but that wasn’t an option now.

Leah had just discovered she owned this ranch, and the last thing he wanted was for her to think he’d set his cap for her as a result. He’d be in the same position as Charlie. Living on a ranch that his wife owned and not having brought a thing to the marriage.

He needed to make something of himself—and that could only happen by accepting the promotion in La Grande. Even if he gave her the money he’d saved, would he ever be sure she valued him as much as the ranch?

He stood stiffly, legs spread shoulder width apart. “Fine, if you’re willing to actually listen. But how about you step down off that horse first?”

She hesitated for several long heartbeats, then slowly swung her leg over the saddle and stood by her horse, gripping the reins.

Steven wished this conversation had never started. Why hadn’t he kept quiet and left things as they were? He’d upset Leah before he’d made a firm decision about his future. “I’ve been offered a new position at the bank in La Grande. The vice president has been promoted to a bank in Pendleton, and the board asked me to take his place. It’s an opportunity for me to get ahead financially and an honor to be asked.”

There, he’d said it, but his mind went back to the six words she’d said moments ago. “I should have expected as much.” Why? What had he done to make her believe he’d leave?

Her silence almost unnerved him. “Leah?” He shifted his position so he could better see her expression. “Why did you say that earlier?”

She still didn’t look at him, but her lips pressed tight together before she finally spoke. “What?”

“That you should have expected as much. And what you said about hoping you and I … I’d like to know what you meant. Besides, I’m still thinking and praying about the job. What have I done to make you assume I’d leave?”

She kept her face averted. “Everybody leaves. I suppose I’d hoped you might be—” Her voice broke, and the silence lingered between them. “I care for you, Steven, but I guess I was wrong to allow myself to do so.”

Steven’s heart felt as though a lance had been plunged through it. It hadn’t occurred to him that she’d feel this way—that she’d lump him in the same camp as her mother and brother—even her father, for that matter, since the man had never really been there for Leah after her mother’s desertion.

Or that she might care for him. He’d never dared to hope, never thought he had a chance. Somehow he must help her to understand that he could never live off her inheritance.

“But it’s not the same thing, Leah. It’s a job offer. It’s not personal against you. In fact, if I go, it’s because I care about the future and want so much more for us both.” He shut his eyes and clenched his jaw as the words fell into the silence.

Not personal? Was that really true? If he took this job, wasn’t he trying to run to his future, hoping to make it more than it was now? Or was he running away from things that hurt or worried him, the same as her family had done? Wasn’t that being as much of a coward as the people who’d left a young girl to fend for herself?

She turned her head and met his gaze. Sorrow and confusion shone from her expression. “Your future.” She nodded slowly. “Then you should take the job and go. I’m sure that would be best.”

He held out his hand, willing her to take it, willing her to truly listen with her heart.

Leah backed away. She gripped the saddle horn and swung aboard. Keeping her face averted, she kicked her gelding in the side, taking off down the trail at a hard gallop, leaving only the sound of hoofbeats ringing in Steven’s ears.

Leah didn’t know whether to cry or scream, or maybe do both, one after the other. Why was she surprised by Steven’s news? She’d meant it when she’d said she expected as much. Nobody in her life could truly be counted on. They all had their own selfish needs that excluded her, and the sooner she came to accept that, the better off she’d be.

Except for Millie and Buddy. Those two dear people had never let her down. A shiver ran across her skin. If anything ever happened to either of them, she wasn’t sure how she’d live through it.

But Steven … she’d come to believe he appreciated the ranch, that he’d settled in and wanted to be her friend, maybe even more than a friend. She’d been foolish to allow her heart to dream where Steven was concerned. Dreaming only opened a person’s heart to hurt and loss.

She leaned over her gelding’s mane, relishing the wind in her face and the rhythm of the horse’s body beneath her. If it were possible and it wouldn’t kill her horse, she’d let him run like this for hours, until some of the tension eased from her muscles.

But too many other dangers lurked, like gopher holes that could snap a horse’s leg and send her sailing through the air. She slowed to a controlled canter, wondering if Steven had followed her fast pace but refusing to look. She truly hoped not. All she wanted was to figure out what she really felt and what, if any, course of action to take.

Leah let out a shuddering breath. This situation was out of her hands. If Steven chose to leave, there was nothing she could do to stop him. And if he stayed, she’d always wonder if the next opportunity that presented itself would lure him away.