Dress Me in Wildflowers (29 page)

Tammie sighed as she watched her disappear up the stairs. “I sure hope she gets good news tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Farrin said, helpless in the face of something she couldn’t accomplish by hard work or willing it so.

****

By the time they reached Dr. Canton’s office the next afternoon, Farrin could barely feel her hand because Janie had squeezed it so hard during the ride from her house to Sloan-Kettering. As they walked inside, Janie’s face took on the pallor of someone being led to execution.

“Breathe,” Farrin said.

As if she’d forgotten it as a necessary part of living, Janie inhaled deeply, then let it out in a long, shaky breath. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“That will only make you feel worse, so concentrate on breathing. Think about something nice, like how the wildflowers are going to look in the inn garden come spring. I can see their bright colors already, can’t you?”

Janie nodded, but she didn’t look the least bit relaxed by the image.

When they reached the office and the nurse came to escort Janie back, Farrin asked, “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

When Janie disappeared behind that door, it was Farrin’s turn to get nervous. Her stomach rolled, and she couldn’t stand still. To avoid thinking about it, she walked into the hall and called Justine.

“Zora Marshall called and she wants to meet you next week, down in Oak Valley,” Justine said.

Exactly what she needed, something else to make her want to bury her head under her covers and hide from the world. “Okay, set up the time and let me know the details.”

“And I believe Katrina Wellington has gotten wind something is going on and is planning on doing a hurry-up piece, evidently with this mysterious informant as background.”

When it rains, it pours.

“Tell Zora’s people that when you talk to them. Any other wonderful news you’d like to share with me?”

“The First Lady called and wants you to be at the White House the day of the wedding for any final alterations that might need to be made.”

Normally, such a request would have been routine and Farrin wouldn’t have thought a thing about it, but today the thought of dealing with Mrs. Hutton made pain explode inside her skull. “Next week seems to be filling up rather quickly.”

“Good thing you’ll be back in the office.”

That thought increased the ache. What she wouldn’t give for a couple of carefree weeks on some isolated Caribbean beach with nothing but sun, sand, surf and quite possibly Drew. The thought of making love in some secluded cove made a flush race up her neck and suffuse her face.

“How’s your friend?” Justine asked.

“She’s in with the oncologist now to get the results of her tests.”

“I hope she gets good news.”

“Me, too,” she said, then ended the call.

When the door opened, Farrin turned, expecting to see Janie. But the petite blonde wasn’t the one crossing the hallway. It was Matthew Canton, and Farrin only had to take one look at his face to know. “No.” The word came out on a strangled sob.

Matthew gripped her shoulders to steady her. “I’m sorry.”

Farrin shook her head. “No, that can’t be right. She’s going to be fine. She’s got two little kids. How can someone who went skating last night be . . . ?” She couldn’t say the word. “Where is she?”

“She wanted to be alone for a few minutes. She wanted me to tell you because she didn’t think she could.”

Farrin looked up at Matthew’s face and saw genuine regret there. She wondered if he wore the same look for all the patients he had to give bad news or if he had felt an initial interest in Janie as a woman? “There’s nothing you can do?”

“I’m afraid not. The cancer is much too advanced and has spread.”

Tears pooled in Farrin’s eyes. “How long?”

“Just a few weeks, six at the most.”

“I don’t understand. How can that be?”

“She’s been strong for her children, holding herself together by a string. She’ll need help, lots of it, in the coming weeks because she’s likely to start deteriorating very quickly.”

Farrin stalked down the hall a few feet, turned and slapped the wall over and over, punishing it because she couldn’t punish the vile disease wracking Janie’s body. “This is so unfair!”

“I know.”

The office door opened, and Farrin spun away to dry her tears. She listened to the quiet exchange between Janie and Matthew, and turned in time to see Matthew lean down and give Janie a lingering hug. She doubted he did that for all his patients. Why couldn’t these two have met sooner, when Janie still had years ahead of her and the kids could have had a positive male role model in their lives?

Farrin bit down on the urge to scream and curse fate.

After Matthew disappeared into his office, it took several moments for Janie to turn toward her. At first, neither of them spoke. Finally, Farrin forced words past the lump in her throat.

“I’m so sorry. I was so sure you’d get good news.”

“It’s not your fault. I appreciate what you’ve done.”

Farrin wanted to be strong for Janie, but she lost the battle. First one tear, then another rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away, but identical drops took their place. “I’m sorry.”

Janie walked forward, and the next moment they were holding each other in the hallway, not caring who saw them and their tears.

They cried until they couldn’t cry anymore, then retreated to the ladies room to wash their faces and try to lessen the redness and puffy lids.

“We’re quite the sight, aren’t we?” Janie said as she stared into the mirror.

“Now I remember why I don’t like to cry.”

“I can’t let the kids see me like this. I want them to enjoy this trip, to enjoy Christmas before I have to tell them.”

“We can go wherever you want to, do whatever.”

“Don’t you have to work?”

“That’s why I have employees, good ones.”

Janie kept staring into the mirror. “I’ve always wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building.”

“Then that’s where we’re going.”

The observation deck was icy cold but full of people nonetheless. And Janie didn’t seem to mind the brisk wind as she walked to the edge and gazed out at the rooftops of Manhattan.

“It’s amazing how they can build something this tall. It makes you feel like you’re in the clouds,” Janie said.

“Sometimes you are up here.”

“It’s definitely something you don’t see in Oak Valley.”

“No, but the view from Cane Ridge is breathtaking in a different way.”

Janie nodded. “Every place has its amazing spots, I guess.”

They stared out at the city for a long time, and Farrin let Janie be alone with her thoughts. When they returned to the car, inspiration struck.

“Raoul, take us to Fifth, to Tiffany’s.”

“Tiffany’s?”

“Yes, I need to get some Christmas gifts.”

If Janie thought Farrin doing her Christmas shopping on the afternoon when she’d gotten the news she only had weeks to live was callous, she didn’t say so. When they walked inside the jewelry Mecca, Janie’s eyes widened like a child’s walking into the old FAO Schwartz store.

“I keep expecting to see Audrey Hepburn walk in,” Janie said.

They browsed the display cases. Farrin pointed to a sterling silver and gold disc pendant decorated with butterflies. “This one, please,” she said to the clerk.

When they moved on to the next case, Janie asked, “What is that like?”

“What?”

“Being able to point at something and people jump to do your bidding.”

“They’re used to it. That’s how the higher end places operate. And unlike some of their customers, I try to be grateful for the service.”

She chose an aquamarine drop pendant and matching earrings for Tammie and a diamond rose pendant for Faye to add to the butterfly pendant she’d chosen for Dara. A bit extravagant for a child perhaps, but the girl deserved it. Not that anything was going to fill the hole she’d have in her life soon.

One more piece to buy, and she had to find the perfect necklace. She moved from display to display until finally she spotted it. The ready clerk moved up to assist. “The gold and diamond dogwood,” she said. Those delicate flowers reminded her of the riot of white and pink blooms that would fill the hillsides around Oak Valley come April.

With her purchases in hand, Farrin led the way outside. “Where to now?”

Janie looked up and down the street. “I have no idea.”

They ended up window shopping at Louie Vuitton, Prada, Fendi, Gucci and Saks before heading inside St. Patrick’s Cathedral to warm up and rest.

“It’s peaceful here,” Janie said as she stared at the impressive interior and watched as the devout lighted candles in the alcoves. “Makes me never want to leave.”

Farrin knew the feeling. Even non-Catholics like herself found a type of holy calm and peace inside these walls, a stark contrast to the frantic and materialistic surroundings on all sides of the historic church.

But after a half-hour of soaking up the church’s peace, they rose and headed out the heavy front doors.

“Is there a chance we could tour your studio?” Janie asked when they were seated in the car. “I know Dara would enjoy it.”

“Absolutely.”

They picked up Tammie and the kids and made their way to the garment district. When they walked into the stark black and silver foyer with one of her latest bridal creations showcased on a central black pedestal, Dara stopped and her jaw dropped open. “Wow,” she said, extending the word in awe.

Farrin led the way into the inner studio where several more dresses were displayed and around which the business offices were located. “Everyone, this is Justine, my assistant.”

“I like your hair,” Amie said.

By the look on Tammie’s face, Farrin could tell that she wanted to tell her daughter to not even think about getting maroon highlights, not until she was forty at least.

Farrin led the little group through the two floors that made up Farrin Taylor Designs. Jason looked like he’d rather be anywhere than among all the “girly stuff” like bridal gowns and hundreds of bolts of fabric, but he remained a good sport throughout. When they reached the sewing room, the noise level went up considerably, necessitating they talk louder.

“That looks like hard work,” Dara said to one of the seamstresses.

The woman looked startled, as if she wasn’t used to someone speaking to her. She looked at Farrin as if she were going to get into trouble for pausing. Where had she gotten that idea? The image bothered Farrin as she led her friends through the rest of the tour.

When they reached Kiki in PR, Farrin left the group to listen to how they made contact with actresses in an effort to dress them for the Oscars.

“I guess your friend got good news today,” Justine said.

The horrible truth of the diagnosis rushed back. “Actually, no. But for now, we’re ignoring it so the kids can enjoy their trip and Christmas.”

“So . . . ”

Farrin met Justine’s eyes. “I’m going to be gone a lot in the next few weeks.” She still couldn’t verbalize the word. To do so would be so final.

“I’m sorry.”

“We’re going to go eat dinner after we leave here. I want my place to look like Santa himself lives there when we return.”

Justine picked up the phone. “I’m on it.”

Farrin walked into her office and was startled by how foreign it felt after her cozy spot at the inn. She still liked this one, but it was a bit like culture shock to walk into the modern space with its crisp lines and glass-topped desk. She picked up her phone. “Adam, bring me a checkbook.”

The accountant did as asked without question, making Farrin feel a bit like a dictator of a very small country. By the time the others completed the tour, she’d written fifteen sizeable checks, the larger ones for the seamstresses who were the lowest paid of all her employees. She sealed them in envelopes with the recipients’ names on the fronts. If she had to give up her home and live in her office, she would. She wasn’t going to focus on crunching numbers now. With the checks in hand, she left her office and paused by Justine’s desk.

“Please hand these out before everyone leaves today. And, Merry Christmas.”

As they walked back through the dress displays, Dara looked up at Farrin and asked, “Can I work here when I’m older?”

“You can do whatever you want.”

“I thought you were going to make maps,” Tammie said.

“Oh, I’ll do that too. I can multi-task.”

They all laughed as they stepped onto the elevator. Farrin had no doubt that Dara might do exactly that.

After dinner, the group returned to Farrin’s to find a virtual winter wonderland. Justine had outdone herself.

“Whoa!” all the kids said in unison.

“Oh, Farrin,” Tammie said. “How?”