Drifters' Alliance, Book 3 (18 page)

“Maybe. But I think not.”

Something in the tone of his voice has me sitting up and paying close attention. “Why not?”

He clears his throat. “It’s the reason I kind of lose my temper sometimes. I think when they make a copy … it gets degraded a little.”

“Really? What do you mean?” I lean in closer, wanting every single detail.

“I’m missing some things. Some memories. Some feelings. Things I should know.”

“Like?”

“Like the secret language Gus and I used to share.”

I’m getting tingles all over my body in anticipation of his explanation. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “All our lives, since we were babies, we had this language that only we spoke. Words, gestures, nothing anyone else could pick up. We could spend an entire day together without speaking a word of normal language and get along just fine. I lost that when the copy was made.”

“Shit.” I feel really sad for him, and I don’t even know what that’s like, to be able to communicate with someone on that level. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. And I lose patience sometimes. I used to be calmer than I am.”

“Maybe it’s from all the years of living with Gus.”

He tries to smile, but it doesn’t work out so well. “Nah. Gus is a saint. He puts up with my lame ass all day and all night long. He’s always been there for me.” Tam looks up at me with pleading eyes. “Please don’t do anything to him. Don’t punish him for helping me.”

I shake my head. “You don’t need to worry. As long as he doesn’t try to screw me, he’s safe. And so are you.” I stand, now completely decided inside my own head and heart. “I’m not going to discriminate against you any more, Tam. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, but I’m not going to beat myself up about my mistake.” My voice goes harder. “Regardless, I want you to be square with me. If you feel something weird happening or something going on in that shadow head of yours, you have to tell me right away. I can only help you if I know what’s going on.”

He stands and holds out his hand. “I promise.”

I shake his hand and smile. “And I promise not to float you for being honest.”

He grins. “Deal.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I’M RUNNING THE PILOTING SIMULATOR alone from the flightdeck when Adelle comms in.

“Captain Cass, I am sorry to interrupt your flight training, but Captain Beltz has come aboard and is requesting an audience with you.”

I pause my flight docking protocol program and take a breath to calm myself.
I hope programming open access for all Alliance members to come aboard without a prior reach request wasn’t a mistake.
“Send him to the flightdeck. Lock out his access to any part of the ship but here.”

“Yes, Captain.”

I stand and then sit right back down. My hands go up to touch my hair, but I yank them away immediately. My fancy hairdo is mostly still there, perhaps a little messier than it was, but still recognizable as something I could never do myself.

“Ridiculous,” I say to myself when I realize I’m primping. “It’s just Beltz.”

Still, I’m happy that I finally got out of those cruddy work clothes and back into my gifted black flightsuit that fits me like a second skin. And with the new secret compartment I’ve sewn into the waistband to hold the chip hosting my former computbot’s programming, I feel like everything is right again. For some reason I’d rather not contemplate right now, I want Beltz to see that I’m not always a scrub.

When the door opens, I turn my seat around to face him, both hands resting on the arms of the chair and my shoulders back. Whatever confidence I feel while seeing him again is faked, but he’ll never know it.

He strides through like it’s no big deal that I nearly killed him three days ago. “You are alone,” he says, stopping at the base of the steps below me.

I lift a brow. “So? Should I be worried?”

“No.” He seems anxious. Worried. Stressed.

“What’s on your mind, Beltz?” It gives me strength of mind to see him so nervous and out of sorts. It’s nice to not be the only one feeling off balance.

He looks out my clearpanel. “You are almost ready to leave.”

“Yep. I’m just running some sim time while we button things up. Making sure I remember how to dock my ship.”

He seems surprised. “You are worried about piloting your ship?”

“I’ve never done it live before. I left the station on my own power, but it was docked by Tremblay before I came onboard.”

He frowns. “Do you want me to come with you? To help you pilot?”

My heart flips around a little at what feels like a romantic gesture, making it difficult to answer without sounding like a silly girl. “No, that’s fine.” My ears are burning. “I can do it. It’s not a problem.” I look at the arm of my chair at the array. “I’m scoring ninety-eighth percentile in the practice runs.”

“Are you using the Centurion 4 sim card?”

“No. It’s just some random patterns.”

“I will have Jens bring you the card for Centurion 4. It will be better to practice what you will actually see.”

“Thanks. I’ll send over some nuts in exchange.”

He shakes his head. “No. I cannot accept your nuts. I have also rejected the offering from your green goddess.”

That has me coming to my feet. “Why?” I’m pissed. It’s like he’s trying to hold his generosity over my head and force it on me. I can’t be owing people like that,
especially
guys like him. Alana was right; he’s wily as hell, and I have a feeling I’ll never know what’s really up his sleeve.

“Because,” he says, his stubborn jaw jutting out. “It is not right.”

“What’s not right?” I walk down one step to put us at eye level with one another. “You did me a service, and I’m trading back. That’s how we do it out here. Just because we’re in the Alliance together, doesn’t mean we just give things away.”

“Sometimes it does mean that.”

The flicker in his eye tells me he’s not being exactly truthful.

“Huh-uh. Wrong. You’re lying. You wouldn’t do this for Kaiholo or Alana.”
Or maybe he would do it for Alana. They seem to have some unfinished business together.
I hate that a twinge of jealousy flickers in my heart over that thought.

He looks at the floor, then the wall, and then the ceiling, as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Either he has to use the head really bad or he has something on his mind that’s eating him up inside.

“What is it, Beltz? What’s bothering you?”

He finally faces me, his expression turning rock hard. “You.”

I point to my chest. “Me?
I’m
bothering you? What did I do?” My feelings are hurt by his statement, which is ridiculous.

“No. What
I
did to
you
is bothering me.”

I laugh, my heart soaring when I realize this means I don’t really bother him. “Are you talking about our wrestling match the other day?”

“Of course I am talking about that. What else would I be talking about?”

I walk down the remaining two steps and put my hand on his arm to calm him down. “Beltz. Listen, man. We’re cool. It’s no big deal.”

His free arm flies out to the side in frustration. “But I fractured your bones, your ribs … tore out your hair.” His tone is nothing less than anguished.

I shrug, feeling all squishy inside. I’ve never had a guy get upset over hurting me before. It’s kind of … sweet. I’m fairly certain he hasn’t cried over other bones he’s broken, and who knows what he was about to do to Alana before I intervened.

“So? I almost strangled you to death. We’re even.”

“We will never be even. Never.” He bends over and throws both arms around my waist so he can pick me up and hold me tight against him. I’m so high up, his face is mushed into my boobs, but that doesn’t keep him from saying what he needs to say. “A man of my size should never touch a small girl in anger. But that is what I did, and worse, I injured you. If it were not for the medical intervention, you would be marked for life by my hand.”

I put a hand on either side of his head to angle his face up to mine. I can’t help but smile at the fact that he sounds like a little kid who’s disappointed his mother. “I’ve been beat up much worse in my life. It’s really no big deal.”

He loosens his hold enough that I drop down a few inches, sliding against his body. This new suit of mine makes it so I can feel every inch of his muscled chest, and that turns me all tingly inside. Now our faces are level with each other, mere centimeters apart.

His breath is minty and warm as it brushes across my mouth. “You tell me the name of the person who did that to you. I will kill him.”

“It’s a long list of people, actually.”

“I will kill them all.”

I have to suck in my cheeks to keep from laughing. I shake my head no.

“Okay, do not tell me. It does not matter. I will find out who it was. Do not worry; I am very determined when I want to be.”

My smile disappears. “Stay out of my past, Beltz. It’s nowhere for you to be.”

“Call me Gunter.” His voice is softer, making him sound more dangerous than when he was about to snap my neck. I’ve had my body broken plenty of times, but never my heart. Not really.

I almost can’t say it. It comes out as a whisper. “Gunter.”

He leans in and begins to kiss me.

I’ve been kissed before, but not like this. Not by a guy like him. Before, it was always either a joke or a dare, a fumbling in a dark corner of a training room left empty after a day’s work … two people goofing around and killing time, trying to remember something tender about life when every other part of it is about fighting and being superior to one another. Now, it’s something entirely different. There’s a heat there I’ve never felt before. A spark of something warming me from inside and spreading across my body.

The Captain Cass in me says I need to back away and maybe even slap him on the cheek for good measure. But the warm, soft girl in me pushes my lips into his, sharing the sensations with this great big hunk of a man who’s holding me in a tight squeeze and swearing to kill every last person who’s ever done me wrong.

His mouth opens and his hot, wet tongue comes out and slides between my lips …

The door behind him swishes open, and whoever is coming through clears his throat really loudly.

Even though I feel as though I’m about to explode with need, I immediately break contact and push back from Beltz …
Gunter
… falling to my feet as he releases me from his embrace.

“Yeah, so thanks for the parts,” I say, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Now I feel like Alana and her crew, trading engine parts for kisses and passion. My face is on fire, and I swear I’m about to piss my pants. Sweat beads out of every pore on my body.

“You are welcome for the parts. Good luck with your mission. I am sure I will see you when you return. At the next Alliance meeting, of course.”

“Of course.” My heart clenches painfully over his statement that he won’t be meeting me alone.
How are we supposed to finish that kiss at an Alliance meeting? Dammit. Rejection sucks.
I have the most insane urge to talk to Alana about this game he’s playing. I’m definitely out of my league, but she could eat him for breakfast. I won’t do it, of course. I will suffer in silence and pretend it never happened.

He salutes and executes a military-esque one-eighty before striding from the room and nearly knocking Baebong over in his haste to leave.

Baebong stares at me as he rights himself, half of his mouth lifted in a grin. “Well, well, well … what do we have here? Did I stumble upon my captain being a girl?”

“Oh, go stick your head in a thruster.” I walk back up the stairs and sit in my chair, turning it around and firing the simulator up again.
Holy shitflakes, I can’t believe Baebong caught me kissing Gunter! How embarrassing!
I’m so confused. I’m sad that it had to end and yet hate myself for allowing it to start in the first place.

He comes up the steps and stands next to me. “Whatcha doin’?”

I can tell he’s holding in laughter, but I ignore it. “Sim time.” I clear my throat to get it working right again. “Practicing. Gunter says he can get me a sim card for the Centurion 4 station.”

“Gunter, is it?” He nods silently, acting like he isn’t giving me a huge ration of shit.

I punch him in the leg. “Say anything about what you think you saw, and I’ll make you wish you were a brownshins.” I can’t believe how embarrassed I am. What the hell. It was only a kiss. I’ve kissed guys before. Lots of times. Like, five times.

“Hey, what’s up with the threats? I’m happy for you.” He points at his head and waits, forcing me to look up at him. “This is my happy face, see?”

“I can never tell with you slant-eyes.”

He kicks me gently in the leg. “Watch it, woman. Don’t make me unleash on you.” Walking over to his station, he collapses into it, spinning the chair around to face mine. “So we’re leaving soon, eh?”

“Yep.”

“Gonna go on a secret mission? Do some recon? Kick some ass? Take some names? Blow some shit up?”

I laugh as I maneuver my simulated ship into the bay that’s been designated as my arrival point. “Let’s not blow anything up on this mission, okay?”

He sighs, turning back around. “You’re no fun.”

“So you keep telling me.” I glide the ship into the dock and a number flashes up on the simulator set. “Boom!” I yell, flicking the sim off and sitting back in my chair. “Perfect score.”

Baebong is busy with his array.

“What are you doing?” I sit forward, trying to see what he’s up to.

“Juuuust wait a secoooond …” He looks up at the clearpanel and out of the corner of my eye, I see something enter the screen.

My focus leaves Baebong and shifts over to the clearpanel, specifically the piece of the Dark located just in front of my ship that it’s displaying. Something is floating past, approximately thirty meters away.

“What in the hell is that?” I squint. “It looks like …”

Baebong slaps his hand on the array and a blue laser light flies out from somewhere above us and hits it dead in the center.

“… my hair drying rig?”

There’s a flash of blue light that beams out toward my dryer, a cloud of white debris when it makes contact, and then nothing.