Drive (4 page)

She cut me off. “No. We’re going out. Luke’s driving and we’re drinking.”

I groaned in protest. “I hate being the third wheel, or fifth wheel if Kate and Ryke are coming or whatever.”

“You won’t be. Niko’s coming. Lots of people will be there. We’ll have fun.”

“Dell, I don’t feel like it. I have this new assignment and I need to organize my thoughts.”

“Not at ten on a Friday night.” She glared at me.

“Fine.” I glared back. “But I’m not talking to any men.”

Luke appeared between us and put an arm around my shoulders and Dell’s. “What about me?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you,” I grumbled as we reached Luke’s SUV. Just as I slid in, Niko slid in the other side and grinned at me.

“Hey. You came to watch me play, didn’t you?”

I rolled my eyes in response. “I came with Kyler.”

God, he smelled good. His hair was still damp from the shower. I wished I’d worn something besides my old jeans and a t-shirt with the team logo on it.

“How’d your pitch go?” he asked.

“Great. I got the assignment.”

His brows pulled together. “That’s a shame.”

“There’ll be plenty of women at the bar tonight who couldn’t give a shit if your accent’s real or not. You just say ‘hockey player’ and their thighs magically open.”

Luke laughed and met my eyes in the rearview mirror. “At this level, you don’t even have to say it.”

“Yep,” Dell agreed. “Jersey chasers know.”

“You’re gonna have your hands full, Coochie Monster,” Luke said.

Niko shook his head, a tiny smile on his lips.

“What?” I asked, wrinkling my face with disgust.

“Yeah, we always called him the Coochie Monster,” Luke said, still grinning as he broke out his Sesame Street voice. “Me love coochie!”

My single note of laughter was not from amusement. “I’m so damn glad I didn’t sleep with you. I can’t stand manwhores.”

“I was just having fun,” Niko said, shrugging carelessly. “If I’m unattached, why not? But that’s not happening here. I have to stay focused on my game. Getting enough rest and all.”

“I’m sure many a horny co-ed will be disappointed,” I said sarcastically.

Luke and Dell were talking about the game in the front seat, and Niko leaned over toward me.

“You like me,” he said. “Don’t pretend you don’t. And I like you, too, Sadie.”

“Don’t you like
anyone
with an XX chromosome?”

The corners of his eyes wrinkled as he smiled at me. “I like your sexy snark. And no, I don’t.”

“I’d like to interview you for a column sometime,” I said. “To get inside your head.”

“Anytime. But I bet you’ll find out I’m not the asshole you think I am.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole,” I said, my conversation with Miranda suddenly spurring a thought. “I just think you’re a serial fucker.”

He arched his brows and smiled. “Like the breakfast food? That’s some sick shit, Sadie.”

“Not what I meant, though I will admit that Cinnamon Toast Crunch beats the hell out of some of the sex I’ve had.”

Luke parked the car and we all got out to walk into the downtown bar that was already booming with activity.

“You’re saying there’s something wrong with casual sex?” Niko asked, falling into step beside me. “Are you super religious or something?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes at him yet again. “I’m saying that I think sex should mean something. Maybe it doesn’t every single time, but ideally, it should. And if you take something that should mean something, and make it meaningless enough times, it becomes … completely meaningless, I guess. Does that make sense? Like, how could sex ever be special when you’ve screwed hundreds of women?”

His expression gave nothing away as he looked at me. Dell and Luke walked into the bar, but Niko grabbed my elbow and held me back.

“It’s not the sex that means something or doesn’t,” he said softly. “It’s the person. I’m only 25, and when I reach the point in my life where I want a relationship, I’m very capable of having something meaningful. I just don’t want it right now.”

He was still holding my elbow. I stared up at him, wishing he would lean down a little more — come just a little closer. What he’d just said hadn’t sounded like a line, and I liked this side of him.

“Fair enough,” I said weakly.

His hand fell away and he opened the front door of the bar, holding it as I walked through. I squared my shoulders. A bar was the perfect spot to kick off 60 days of solitude. Any guy who hit on me tonight didn’t stand a chance – no matter how perfect he seemed.

Kate read through the instructions on how to warm up a bottle for the third time.

“And you test it out on your arm,” she said, demonstrating.

“I will,” I said, more firmly than I had the first two times.

“Babe, she knows what she’s doing,” Ryke said to Kate, wrapping an arm around her.

“I know.” She gave me a pleading look. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me to leave the kids.”

Dell stepped in to reassure her. “Sadie helped me raise Kyler from the time he was born. She knows how to take care of babies. It’s gonna be okay.”

Kate nodded and smiled. “Okay. So I guess we’re ready, then? I’ll just say goodbye to Mel.”

“You already did,” Ryke said, rolling his eyes. “It’s just for a weekend. Two nights. She won’t even miss us with Kyler here.”

A small fire at the arena where Ryke and Luke’s team was supposed to be playing this weekend had created a rare opportunity for a weekend getaway for them, Kate and Dell. I was looking forward to babysitting at Kate and Ryke’s suburban mansion, if Kate would ever actually leave.

Kate squeezed Melody close again and then squared her shoulders.

“Call me anytime,” I said, holding up my cell phone. “We aren’t leaving the house. We’ll just be playing and watching movies.”

“Thank you for this,” Kate said. “I know the kids are in good hands.”

“Yeah, I owe you, Sade,” Dell said. “We haven’t had a night away since our honeymoon.”

“Just have a drink in my honor,” I said. “And enjoy the California sun.”

The four of them said more goodbyes as they shuffled outside. When Ryke closed the front door, Kyler and Melody exchanged a look.

“Why are they all freaking out?” he asked. “My mom packed me five pairs of underwear even though I’m only gonna be here for two nights.”

I shrugged. “Just in case.”

“In case of what? I’m six, Aunt Sadie, I don’t have accidents anymore.”

“Maybe you will if we watch a scary movie,” I said, grinning.

“Yeah!” Melody jumped up and down. “Scary movie!”

“No,” Kyler said, groaning. “I hate scary movies.”

Jabbering sounded from the play yard and I walked over to see baby AJ wide awake and grinning up at me.

“Hi, sweetheart,” I said, bending down to pick him up. “Aunt Sadie’s gonna love on you all weekend.”

“He can kinda walk,” Melody said. “But he falls down all the time.”

I balanced AJ on my hip and looked at the two older kids.

“What should we do first, guys?”

“Can we watch a movie?” Kyler asked. “I’m tired.”

“Tired? But it’s nine in the morning.” I put a hand on his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s just watch a movie.”

Kyler curled up on the couch and Melody sat next to him. I chased AJ, who could sprint-crawl when he saw something he wanted. His favorite two activities were opening the kitchen cabinets and trying to climb the stairs. I quickly developed an appreciation for sitting down longer than 30 seconds in my everyday life. But the kid was so damn cute. He had Ryke’s dark hair and Kate’s sweet smile. When he let me snuggle him, it filled me with warm happiness.

Ryke and Kate’s home was filled with photos of their family. There were several beautiful ones of their tropical wedding, in which they both looked absolutely blissful. Melody grinned from atop Ryke’s back in another one. She posed in an ice-skating outfit between her parents in another. And AJ progressed from newborn to a grinning one-year old in the photos. His world seemed to be a carefree and loving one.

Would I ever have a home filled with photos like these? I wanted it. As much as I tried to convince myself my career was enough, no job could compare to the joyful expressions in these photos. And Dell had that, too. I loved Kyler like he was my own, but he wasn’t.

“Sadie!” Melody cried from the living room. I broke away from my daydream, seeing that AJ was almost to the stairway upstairs again. That kid was really persistent.

“Hang on! Be right there!” I said, hustling to AJ and scooping him into my arms.

“Whatcha doin’?” I said, grinning and tickling him. “You just want to wear me out, don’t you?”

When I got into the living room, I looked at the kids on the couch and saw that Kyler was covered in orange puke.

“Oh …!” I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep an expletive from spilling out.

His clothes, the couch, a blanket and the coffee table had all been hit. The puke was dripping from the coffee table onto the area rug beneath it.

“Sorry, Aunt Sadie,” he said weakly. His face dropped into a miserable expression.

“Ky, it’s okay.” I set AJ down and rushed over. “I can clean this up, it’s okay. Do you feel like you might be sick again?”

He shook his head, but said nothing.

“Okay. First let’s get you into the shower so we can clean you up.”

“AJ, no!” Melody said. I turned and saw the one-year-old standing with the support of the coffee table, running a finger through the orange vomit.

“No!” I echoed. “Eww.”

My outburst startled him, and his face twisted into an oncoming cry.

“I’m sorry,” I said, smoothing back his hair. “It’s okay.”

It didn’t help. He wailed and I picked him up to rock and soothe him.

“Ky, sit tight for just another second while I wash AJ’s hands,” I said. “Melody, I’ll need you to play with AJ then while I help clean Ky up.”

She nodded and gave Kyler a pitiful look. He was a sight.

“Why is it orange?” she asked, disgusted.

He shrugged and I couldn’t help smiling at them.

“Orange juice at breakfast,” I said. “I can smell it.”

“I can taste it, but it’s gross,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

I cleaned up AJ’s hands and left him in his bedroom with Melody in charge, herding Kyler into the bathroom. I bagged up his clothes and helped him scrub away the smell from his body in the shower.

“Did I ruin their couch?” he asked.

“No, sweetie. I can clean it up. Everyone gets sick sometimes, you couldn’t help it.”

He frowned at me. “I didn’t feel good this morning but I didn’t want to tell Mom because I was afraid she wouldn’t let me come.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Let’s get you into some clean clothes and you can rest for a little bit, okay?”

By the time I got him dressed, AJ’s wails were sounding throughout the enormous house. I tucked Kyler into bed in a guest room and ran to AJ’s bedroom. Melody was holding one of his hands, trying to soothe him.

“I think he’s hungry,” she said.

“Okay.” I scooped AJ from the floor and hugged him close. “We’ll get you a bottle, sweetie.”

I hadn’t even made it through the door when I remembered my hands were covered with Kyler’s germs and I hadn’t even washed them. I cringed and let out a huge sigh. I’d wash up before warming his bottle.

Melody was right – AJ was hungry. He took the bottle I’d warmed and was drinking contentedly when Melody came into the living room and gave me a contrite look.

“Um, Kyler puked again,” she said. “On the bathroom floor. But there’s some on the carpet, too.”

Was this for real? I could practically feel my blood pressure rising as I pictured Ryke and Kate returning to a puke-stained home Sunday night.

“Thanks, Mel,” I said. “As soon as I finish feeding AJ, I’ll change him and then put him in his bouncy seat so I can clean that up. Is Kyler okay?”

“Yeah. There’s no puke on him. He’s back in bed. Can I make myself some lunch?”

“I can make you something as soon as I finish this other stuff,” I said.

“It’s okay. I can make waffles. Do you want some?”

I smiled at how responsible this little girl was. “No, thanks. And thanks for being such a help to me.”

She grinned and skipped off to the kitchen. AJ was nearly done with the bottle, and I got up to carry him to his room for a diaper change. I undressed him and replaced his wet diaper with a dry one. I’d just put the wet diaper in the container that sealed each one in its own bag when his face reddened and he grunted loudly.

“Are you serious?” I asked, not really expecting an answer. He was. He’d pooped, and I started the diaper changing routine again.

Cleaning the bathroom took almost half an hour, and there wasn’t much I could do about the vomit splattered on the carpet outside the bathroom door. I washed the dishes and started a load of laundry before I was even able to begin cleaning up the living room. The smell was almost enough to make me sick.

“You can hardly even tell,” Melody said diplomatically as she looked at the couch. I burst into a fit of stressed out laughter. The cream-colored couch was very obviously stained.

“We could put a blanket over it,” she said.

I found a clean spot of the carpet and sprawled out on it, needing a few moments of peace. Less than a minute later, Kyler walked into the room, crying.

“I don’t feel good, Aunt Sadie,” he said. “I’m gonna have diarrhea.”

I jumped up from the floor and wrapped an arm around him.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

I was not in a good frame of mind for cleaning
that
up. This was more stressful than any deadline I’d ever faced. As the day went on, I continued to just barely hold everything together. I’d get one thing done, and two more would be waiting for me when I was done.

By bedtime, I was exhausted. Kyler’s fever was down thanks to some Tylenol, and he was resting. I fed AJ and tried to get him to bed, but he wasn’t having it. I rocked him, sang to him and even begged him, but he would not stay asleep for more than five minutes.

It was after midnight when he finally went to sleep, and I curled up on the floor of his room so I could soothe him back to sleep quickly if he woke up. I was almost out myself when the sound of Kyler yelling my name made me spring up from the floor. I’d nearly made it out of AJ’s room when I heard him stirring in his crib because I’d woken him.