Drive Me Crazy
Authors: Portia MacIntosh
It was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime…
In reality it was a business trip, prettied up as a romantic holiday, but the man behind the wheel was meant to be Candice Hart’s boss and (married but separated, I swear!) lover. Not Danny the new guy!
Not only is Candice faced with a new driver, but the office’s far too handsome hipster expects her to share the cramped space inside his ‘fully’ restored VW Beetle, aka the Love Bug, and put up with his constant opinions about her life…
Before long she is tired of playing the ‘good girl’ and, with Danny’s help, is determined to finally show the world the real Candice Hart!
Also available by Portia MacIntosh
Between a Rockstar and a Hard Place
How Not to be Starstruck
Bad Bridesmaid
‘
How Not to be Starstruck
was impossible to put down, hilarious, fun, flirty and packed with excitement.’
Victoria Loves Books
**
‘A brilliant story full of fun, gorgeous rockstars, big egos and great friendships.’
A Novel Thought
on
How Not to be Starstruck
**
‘absolutely hilarious’
Books and Bookends
on
Bad Bridesmaid
**
‘For a
Sex and the City
meets
Gossip Girl
meets “Life of the rich and famous” -vibe: get yourself a copy of both Portia’s novels. Very, very enjoyable read and can’t wait for more!’
M’s Bookshelf
on
How Not to be Starstruck
**
‘I can not recommend this book highly enough, it is a must read for any one fancying a light heart and humour read, which can be devoured in one sitting.’
Compelling Reads
**
‘
How Not to be Starstruck
had me laughing the whole way through. It was fun-filled, sweet, crazy and always entertaining. Portia MacIntosh wrote a fab book.’ 4/5 stars from Sophie*
**
‘I loved this clever satire on the world of celebrity. It’s a witty, wry look at the showbiz lifestyle and I veered from being envious of Nicole’s life, to being glad it was nothing like mine!’ 5 stars from Mrs K J Barrett*
*Amazon reader reviews
Drive Me Crazy
Portia MacIntosh
When she was fifteen years old,
PORTIA MACINTOSH
fell in with a bad crowd…rockstars. After disappearing on tour and living the rock ’n’ roll lifestyle for a few years, Portia landed a job in the music industry – but only so that she didn’t have to join the real world just yet.
Now in her twenties, Portia is ready to spill the beans on the things she has witnessed over the years. Well, kind of. If her famous friends knew that she was borrowing their lives to inspire her fiction, they would stop inviting her on tour and banish her from the inner circle. Then she really would have to rejoin the real world, and she’s still not ready for that.
Portia only started writing novels to share her secrets, but then she realised she actually quite liked writing – maybe even more than she likes living on a bus with a bunch of smelly boys – and has since tried her hand at writing about other things.
Check out Portia’s blog at:
portiamacintosh.tumblr.com
Follow her on Twitter:
twitter.com/portiamacintosh
…and Facebook:
facebook.com/macintoshportia
Contents
A massive thank you to my editors, Victoria and Charlotte, and to the rest of the Carina UK team for all of their hard work on my books.
A shoutout to my Pink Ink girls, Tay and all the lovely reviewers for all of their support. Thank you to everyone who has bought a copy of any of my books, and thank you for all the lovely feedback - I hope you enjoy this one as much as my others.
Finally, huge thanks to my family and friends for all of their support. And for celebrating every little victory with me with cocktails/coffee.
For my family
‘We should get up.’
‘Just five more minutes,’ I plead as I snuggle closer.
‘Two more minutes,’ he negotiates. ‘Someone will be round with the post any minute. Do you want them to see us like this?’
‘Let them see,’ I gasp. ‘I’m too happy to care.’
Of course I’m joking, and Will knows this.
For two peaceful minutes we just cuddle up, naked, in perfect silence. I have my head resting on Will’s chest, gazing down at his bare stomach. He’s starting to get a bit of a belly, the one a lot of men seem to develop as they approach the big 4-0. Will can’t be blamed for ‘letting himself go’ a little, though. As the managing director of his family’s massive haulage company, he works tirelessly to keep the business running smoothly.
I use a finger to trace lines on his body, of where his six-pack used to be. His heart is pounding, but the gentle rise and fall of his chest relaxes me, quickly returning my own heart rate to normal.
I wonder what he’s thinking right now. I often wonder what’s going through his mind, and how often he thinks about me when we’re not together.
‘I’m starving,’ I say out loud, although I’m pretty sure I only meant to think it.
‘You’re always starving.’ He laughs. ‘Sticking to the diet though?’
‘Of course,’ I lie. I mean, I am sticking to it for the most part, but it’s so hard when you have to pass a branch of Millie’s Cookies on the way home from work – that temptress still manages to seduce me every now and then.
Conscious of the tummy he’s developing, Will is on a health kick at the moment, and knowing how much I love my junk food, he suggested I might like to join him. I suppose I was a few pounds overweight – and maybe this was his tactful way of telling me – so I agreed to do the same. Oh, how I wish I hadn’t now.
‘OK, fine, I’m getting up,’ I say, although I make no attempt to move whatsoever. ‘Can I get you a coffee?’
‘Please,’ he replies, also remaining in position. ‘This thing wreaks havoc on my back. It’s not very comfortable, is it?’
‘Well, it’s a desk, not a bed,’ I say as I pull myself upright. ‘It’s not supposed to be comfortable.’
‘Maybe we should get a bed for in here. Well, not a bed, that would seem odd.’ He laughs as he glances around his office, as though trying to figure out where one could go. ‘Maybe a sofa bed?’
‘Yeah, maybe,’ I reply, unable to fake even a little enthusiasm. He makes it sound like we’re a married couple, picking out furniture for our home.
A few more seconds of silence together, me alone with my thoughts and him with his – that is until a knock on the door breaks us from our thoughts. We know the drill.
‘Damn,’ Will says quietly as he wrestles on his trousers before calling to whoever is behind the door: ‘One minute, please.’
‘It’s locked, right?’ I ask as I hurry on my underwear, then my dress.
‘Yes, it’s locked, but that still makes us look bad.’
This isn’t our first moment like this; you think we’d be better at it by now.
‘No rush, Mr Starr.’ It’s Caroline, his secretary. ‘Except I’ve got the post for you, and it’s quite heavy.’
‘She’s not going anywhere,’ he whispers to me, panic in his voice.
I exhale deeply. Being romantically involved with your boss is not all it’s cracked up to be, especially when you have to keep your relationship a secret.
Will and his wife, Stephanie, were in love, once upon a time. They got married, had a couple of kids but then, as Will moved through the ranks of the company, eventually reaching the top spot when his dad retired, they just fell out of love and decided to call it a day. The thing is, Will is very much the face of the family business, and despite the company being huge, they really play up the family angle. Now that Will is in charge, they paint him as a good guy, a family man, so leaving his wife and two young kids simply because he didn’t want to be with his wife any more would not have painted a pretty picture. And in a way Will was lucky that Stephanie agreed to pretend they were still together, to keep up appearances, and to keep Will’s/the firm’s wholesome reputation in tact. So, despite Will and Stephanie’s understanding, divorce isn’t on the cards any time soon, and if Will were to be caught sleeping with his assistant, it would ruin him. So it isn’t exactly unusual for us to sneak around and keep our relationship a secret.
‘You’re going to have to hide,’ he snaps at me in a whisper – like this is
my
fault.
‘Hide?’ I ask in disbelief. I’ve never had to hide before. ‘Where?’
‘Under the desk,’ he instructs, pushing me under the large, oak desk in the centre of his office.
‘You’re effing kidding me?’ I ask, and Will shoots me a look – I know that he doesn’t approve of swearing, but I thought that might be OK given the circumstances. I can tell from the look in his eyes that he is dead serious. ‘Fine.’
Down I go, underneath his desk. I watch as Will straightens up his tie before bushing his suit down, exhaling deeply as he heads for the door. I am just about to tuck myself away when I realise that I forgot to put my stockings back on. I spy one of them on the floor, and it’s within arm’s reach so I grab it. No sign of the other one, but there’s nothing I can do. Will is opening the door.
‘Good morning, Caroline,’ he says breathlessly. ‘I thought you were at the doctor’s this morning?’
‘I was,’ she replies. ‘I’ve been, all is well. I know I took the morning off, but I thought there’s no sense in waiting until the afternoon to come in – may as well make myself useful. I see Candice is running late.’ Caroline sighs. ‘Ah well, best she has a lie-in. I think that one is getting a lot of late nights at the moment.’
I can only see Caroline’s feet, but I feel my eyes narrow as I shoot them a death stare.
Sweet Caroline (that’s what I call her – because she isn’t) may just be an evil genius, and were I not the target of her evil master plan to oust me from the company, I might actually be impressed by the way she operates. You see, Sweet Caroline is nothing but sweetness and light to me – in front of other people. Sometimes, I even hear her saying nice things about me to other people, making caring excuses for any mistakes I might make, or excusing my lateness for me like she did today (by making it sound like I’m out partying every night). This means that, to everyone else at the firm, Caroline
is
Sweet Caroline, but when it’s just me and her she is horrible to me, and because I know her niceness is an act I cannot be nice back to her, or be nice about her to others. This leaves everyone else wondering why I don’t like Caroline, because she’s just
so
nice to everyone, and speaks
so
highly of me… I’m telling you, she’s an evil genius.