Driven (36 page)

“For what?”

“You went over and above. The stuff in the bus for the kids. Having them here today. Everything.” I look back up at him, tears of happiness swimming in my eyes, and say softly, “Zander’s first word.”

“A break-through is so important to healing invisible wounds.” I know he understands these words more than most. He reaches out and wipes the lone tear that spills over. That simple sign of compassion leaves me shaken. His eyes meet mine, and I can see the feelings he has for me in them. I just wish he could see them himself. He slips his sunglasses on his face, shielding my ability to read more from them, and holds his hand out to me. “Come walk me to the pits?”

When I just stand there staring at him, confusion etching my face, he answers for me by grabbing my hand and tugging it so that I am forced to go along with him. We walk in silence, both occupied by our own thoughts. So many questions I want to ask remain unspoken on my lips for this is not the right time or place for them. I place a hand on my stomach to settle the nerves fluttering there.

“Why do you seem so nervous when I’m the one that’s going to be hurling myself around the track at two hundred miles an hour?”

I stop and look at him and am unable to see through his dark lenses, wondering if he really doesn’t get that spending time with him, being with him when I can’t have him, does this to me. Has me walking on eggshells and thinking of what ifs. I decide to take the easy way out. “I’m nervous for you. Aren’t you ever afraid that you are going to crash?”

“Oh, I’ve crashed plenty of times, Ryles.” He lifts his sunglasses so that our eyes can meet. “Sometimes you need to crash a couple of times to learn your mistakes, and then when the smoke clears, sometimes you’re better off in the end. Lesson learned in case there is a next time.” He shrugs, squeezing my hand and smiling shyly, “Besides, sometimes the dents just add more character in the long run. Looking pretty can only last so long.” Our eyes hold each other’s, and I know he is talking about more than racing. My eyes beseech his, silently asking the questions I’m afraid to voice, but he slips his glasses back on, pretending he didn’t see them. He tugs on my hand again to start walking, our linked fingers the only answer I receive.

I try to think of something to say to add some levity to our walk. “Aren’t you supposed to have a pre-race face on or something saying you’re
in the zone
?”

“Something like that,” he laughs at me, “but it’s not a race today. Besides, I usually get that way once I walk on to pit row. It pisses my sister off to no end.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I can just tune everything and everyone out instantly,” he says wryly, a diminutive smile on his beautiful lips.

“Typical male,” I laugh shaking my head. “Thanks for the warning, Ace.”

“And she says I look mean. I try and tell her its just part of my job but she doesn’t buy it.” We walk for a bit more in silence, a smile on my lips. I can hear an engine revving off to my left and hear the clatter of a wrench on concrete somewhere to my right. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come today.” His words surprise me. I think I do a pretty good job of hiding it on my face. “I thought you might send another counselor in your place instead.”

“No,” I murmur as we stop at the corner of a building, and I look up at him. Doesn’t he realize that even when he pushes me away I am irrefutably drawn to him? That I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to? “I wanted to see you in your element. Watch the boys experience it.”

He watches me for a moment, nodding at someone who walks past before returning his eyes to mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” I mouth back to him, fighting the urge to avert my eyes due to the intensity in his.

“This is as far as I go,” he tells me, leaning back against the wall, propping one foot back behind him.

“Oh.” He runs his thumb over my knuckles on the hand he is holding.

A slow mischievous smile spreads across his lips. “Don’t I get a good luck kiss, Rylee?” He tugs on my hand and has me falling against him. He splays his free hand against my back, holding me up against the solidity of him.

His warnings, his mixed signals, the hurt he’s caused all vanish when my eyes flutter up to see his sensual lips inches from mine. Every muscle beneath my waist clenches in desire. I close my eyes momentarily, wetting my lips with my tongue, before opening them back up to meet the clear green of Colton’s.
Why the hell not?
It’s not like the term levelheaded has been in my vocabulary the past few weeks when it comes to him anyway. Sensibility slips through my fingers like sand when I am near him. “It’s the least I can do,” I murmur to him as he removes his baseball cap.

All sense of reason and modesty at our surroundings vanish the minute his lips capture mine. I pour all of the pent up hurt and emotion and need from the past few days into our kiss, and I know that I can taste the same in his response as well. The pressure of his hand on my back urges me on, tempts me to run my hands up his chest, skim fingers on his neckline, and tangle in his hair curling at the back of his neck. Our hearts pound against each other as we each take what we need regardless of the impasse we find ourselves at.

Our surroundings slowly seep into my conscious as I hear someone shout out “Get a room, Donavan!”

I feel Colton’s smile against my lips as he breaks the kiss and turns his head to the right and yells laughing, “Fuck off, Tyler! You’re just jealous!”

I hear a loud chuckle as Colton turns his head back to me, and I run my hands down to frame his face. “Good luck, Ace!”

We stare at each other a beat before he leans back down and brushes a tender kiss on my lips. A silent goodbye now that I am more confused then ever. “Remind me to bring you to my next race?”

“What? Why?”

“Because if that’s how you kiss me good luck when I’m just testing, I can’t wait to see what it’s like when I’m really racing!” He raises his eyebrows, a playful smile turning the corners of his mouth, and he squeezes his hands that hold my waist. I laugh out loud at him allowing myself the moment to relax.

“Colton?”

I turn to look into the startled eyes of a stunning woman a few feet to our left. She has a classic beauty that reminds me a lot of Haddie. She has tendrils of blonde hair that cascade around her shoulders, her caramel colored eyes regard me pensively, and her full, painted lips purse as she takes me in. I feel a punch in the stomach for despite being pressed against Colton, in the split second I have to size her up, I can see true adoration and love in her eyes toward him. Something about her is different though, and the feelings I see in her eyes are much more intense than say Tawny’s or Raquel’s.

Will the endless barrage of women in love with Colton ever end?

“Impeccable timing as usual,” Colton grates through gritted teeth without even looking at her. I look back at him, slightly confused as he kisses the tip of my nose and pulls back. “Rylee, meet my annoying little sister, Quinlan.”

“Oh!” This makes sense now! I extricate myself from Colton’s arms, the interruption not allowing me to even think about our intimate exchange. I hold out my hand in greeting to her, my cheeks blushing in color at the thought of the first impression she must have of me. “Hi. I’m Rylee Thomas.”

Quinlan looks at me up and down and then to my outstretched hand before eyeing Colton, an incredulous expression on her face. She shakes her head at him, a warning look in her eye as she completely disregards my hand. I let it fall as Colton sighs a warning to her, “Quin?” She just looks at him like a mother does when scorning her child. He glares back at her. “Q, quit being rude. I’ll be right there. I’m a little busy right now.”

She snorts rudely, surveying me again before turning on her heel and stalking off the way she came. “Sorry,” he mutters, “she can be an annoying little punk sometimes, regardless of how old she is.” And with those words, for some reason, I think I get it. She thinks I’m one of Colton’s little disposable playthings. And she acted how I probably would act if it were my brother. Disgusted. Fed up.

“It’s okay.” I step back from him. “You need to get going.”

“That I do,” he nods, running his fingers through his hair.

“Be safe, Colton. I’ll see you at the finish line.”

“Always,” he says before flashing a quick, roguish smile at me and then turning to walk toward the pits. I watch his sexy swagger as he tugs his baseball hat on his head and adjusts it. He turns back to look at me, the bill of his hat shadowing his eyes and a wayward grin on his lips,
dangerous
written all over him. If nothing else, he is the definition of sexy. I sigh, shaking my head as I instinctively smile back at him. He turns back around, and I watch him until I can’t see him any more.

Where do I even begin to process the last fifteen minutes and Colton’s mastery of mixed signals?

CHAPTER 20

“Okay, boys, I think that last wing adjustment dialed it in. Great job! I’m going full throttle for the last twenty starting next time I hit the line,” Colton’s disembodied voice comes over the headset as we hear him on the stretch of track behind us.

“Don’t push too hard, Colt. We’ll need to make a couple more adjustments for next time out. I don’t want you burning up the motor before we can mess with it.”

“Relax, Becks,” Colton laughs, “I’m not gonna break your baby.” I can hear the engine rev up on the backstretch as Colton heads out of turn two. “Davis? You on?”

“What do you need, Wood?” Davis’ voice fills my ears.
Wood?
What’s that all about?

On the open mic, I can hear the car downshift as he heads into turn three. “Get Zander in the flag stand.” I can hear the vibration of the car in Colton’s voice as he increases his speed, “Let him wave. Then the rest of the boys.”

“Ten-four.”

The boys are all listening on their headsets and they turn to look at me with eyes big and grins wide. Davis climbs up the stairs to the little box where we sit above pit row and motions for the boys to follow him. Dane descends and then Jax looks back at me, eyebrows raised in question. “Go ahead, Jax,” I motion for him to go, as I remain seated. “I’ll stay here.”

I watch the boys make their way to pit row, heads turned to the right as Colton comes flying out of turn four toward the start-finish line. The rumble of the engine fills my ears and vibrates through body, reverberating in my chest as he whips past us. Once gone, Davis leads them across the track and they disappear as they head to the flag stand. Moments later, Davis climbs into the little white boxed in platform with Zander at his side, and they wait for Colton to come back around the track again. I can hear the pitch of the motor heighten as Colton hits the accelerator down the backstretch. Before I know it, he is completing the two-mile circuit and tearing down the front straight away before me. Zander’s hands are on the flag, and Davis cautiously helps his little arms wave the checkered flag as Colton approaches and quickly zips past. I capture his moment and his smile with the camera before he heads back down the stairs for Aiden to have his turn.

It has been an incredible day. The boys have gotten a once-in-a-lifetime experience, thanks to Colton and his team. We’ve watched him fly around the track, come in for adjustments, and listened to the crew’s banter back and forth for the past several hours. I’ve been interviewed by reporters from the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register in regards to the fundraising collaboration of CD Enterprises on behalf of Corporate Cares. A photographer took pictures of us on and off while watching the test laps. The boys have been filled with sugary treats as well as great food that Colton’s team had brought in for us. We’ve been treated better than I ever could’ve imagined considering this was not a race or official engagement.

I snap a shot of Shane as he waves the flag when Colton passes by, pleased that I perfectly captured the look of joy in his face. When I look up from the digital image on my camera, Tawny is standing in front of me, a cool, calculating look in her frosty blue eyes. I give her a cautious but courteous smile despite her obvious censure of me.

When she just stands there and stares at me, I decide to make the first move. Her attempt at intimidation is ineffective. I just pray that for once in my life, I can have that quick wit I always think about after the fact, because I think I’m going to need it. “Can I help you?”

She crosses her arms across her ample bosom and leans a hip against the railing, her eyes never leaving mine. “You know you’re not his typical type, right?”

Oh, so that’s how this is going to be
. I watch Colton come down the straightaway and wait for the deafening sound to pass us before pulling my headphones off. I lean back in my seat and allow the knowing smirk I feel to ghost my lips—the ones that Colton’s lips had been on earlier. “And your point is what? That you are?” I cringe inwardly at my last comment, for I know that she actually does fit the Colton pre-approved mold.
So much for being witty
.

She laughs snidely at me. “
Oh, doll,
your innocent little self has no clue what you’re getting yourself into, do you?”

Condescending bitch!
“And what? If I had all of the experience that you do, I would?” My voice drips with sarcasm. “Let’s get something straight, what’s between Colton and I is none of your business. And I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, Tawny. Thanks for your misguided concern, though.”

She stares at me through the slits of her eyelids, her face twisting in wry amusement. “Oh, Rylee,
everything Colton does is my business
. I make sure of it.”

I stare at her momentarily, stunned by her impudence and wondering if there is any truth behind her words. I try to hide the bewilderment in my voice with cynicism. “I wasn’t aware he needed a keeper. He seems quite capable of making decisions for himself.” I cross my arms over my chest, mirroring her.

“You don’t know anything, do you?” she laughs cattily, her patronizing tone grating on my nerves. “Every man needs a woman whispering in his ear, telling him what’s best for him.” She smirks sardonically at me, “And
Rylee, doll
, I’m that person to Colton. Have been,” she arches an eyebrow, “and will continue to be.”