Duplicity (14 page)

Trey was as insatiable as ever with his inquisitiveness.

Tilting her head up, Lilith snarled at him. He grinned, placing
his fingers beneath her chin to keep her from looking down. He kissed her, the
movement languid. She sighed, melting against him. Her heart pounded harder. A
warm, pleased feeling rose in her, making her feel as light as a balloon.

As ridiculous as it seemed sometimes, this was new to
her .
 . . to both of them.

Lilith wasn’t a complete idiot. Part of her understood Trey had
looked at her like this, like he wanted something more than friendship, for a
long time. In the beginning, though, she wasn’t ready to hear him say it. She’d
had to learn how to be a friend to more than just Mal and Dana before she could
consider anything else.

It was only in the last few months she let herself begin to
acknowledge what she felt for him. They had been sitting side by side on the
couch just like this, just talking.
Teasing.
It was
one of those moments, those perfect moments she’d only read about or seen on
TV, where she realized he was close, so close, and his warmth pulled her in.
She’d closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss without thinking about it, and
when she pulled away, what they were to each other had changed.

They were going slow, at a glacial pace, but Trey didn’t seem to
mind. They were both busy people. She had a whole life to plan and for him,
grad school was a demanding mistress. After that first kiss, there wasn’t much
difference in the way they interacted. There were more kisses involved, more
cuddling.

Slow.

Trey pulled back just enough, resting his forehead against hers.
He stroked her cheeks, traced the line of her nose, his eyes intent as he
studied her features. She felt giddy and shy. When they were together like
this, there was always a ridiculous little smile playing at her lips. It was
the strangest feeling. She felt so dumb, and
yet .
 . .

Bliss.
That’s what she felt.
Dumb and blissful.

Happy.

Over and over he told her how beautiful she was. Some days he
would take her to his bed and spend hours just talking about her body. She was
surprised how difficult it was to hear such compliments, how hard they were to
accept as truth. Sometimes she argued, but she was beginning to see herself
through his eyes.

She was beginning to feel not only connected to him but connected
to her own body, herself.

And when his hands began to wander, brushing down her side, more
often than not she felt a stirring deep inside her.
An ache.
A want.

He didn’t push. He never pushed.

Well, this time,
she
was going to push.

Anxiety twisted in her gut. It annoyed her. Why on earth should
she feel so nervous? She was no virgin.

Ignoring her trembling hand, Lilith tilted her head up, catching his
lips again as her fingers moved from his thigh to brush between his legs.

Trey moaned into her mouth and pulled back, catching her by the
wrist to still her questing fingers.

She’d been expecting this, so Lilith pushed away the innate sense
of rejection, waiting for him to say his typical line. She could see desire in
his eyes. She knew, in her heart of hearts, he’d wanted this longer than she
had.

When he spoke, his voice was a rasp. “Why do you want this?”

It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to take things further. This
was the third time he’d had to ask her the very same question.

Sex was what she was used to, what she was good at. So often in
her life now, she felt out of control. The first time, she’d tried to grasp for
the certainty sex offered. Trey was safe, and she’d just wanted to feel sure of
herself for once.

Another time, the answer had been because she wanted him to feel
good. It struck her sometimes how very good he was to her. He was patient and
kind. He pushed her when she needed to be pushed and sidestepped a lot of the
bullshit she laid down. She was so grateful, but she didn’t know how to show
it. Sex was what she was used to, what she was comfortable with. She had so
little to give, but her sexuality was something she knew could benefit him. It
had before.

Both times, he’d stopped her with that question, and though it
hadn’t been easy either time, in the end she understood. He was being a good
friend.

A good boyfriend.

Lilith cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. “I want you.”
She kissed him again. “I want you
because .
 . .
I love you.”

They were frightening words to think. The thought had occurred to
her more than once in the last few months. She’d been freaked out to the point
of nausea when it first occurred to her she might love him.

In the end, saying the words wasn’t scary at all, especially not
when he froze and gasped. He stared.

And then his face lit up in the most beatific grin.

His kiss was voracious, and she giggled into his mouth. “Say it
again.” His voice was a rumble against her lips.

“I love you.”

She was horizontal on the couch in a heartbeat, his body pressing
against hers. Then it was Lilith’s turn to gasp because holy
hell .
 . .

His body was poised between her legs so that when they moved, when
he bucked his hips against her, it caused the sweetest friction.

Lilith had put together that what she was missing from sex was the
emotion. The biology of her body worked. She could be stimulated, aroused, but
the pleasure of sex was in the emotional attachment. She was so far removed
from
reality,
she was there in body but not in spirit.

Now, her body and her mind were both very present, and sex—even
the idea of sex—was a whole new ballgame. She was so far out of her league. She
was .
 . . Well, she may as well have
been a virgin for the way her heart was trying to pound its way out of her
ribcage.

Taking a shaky breath, she opened her eyes. Trey was staring, the
expression on his face so tender Lilith’s heart ached. He brushed the pad of
his thumb over her lips. “I’ve loved you for so long.”

His simple, honest words soothed her nerves, and it didn’t matter
how inexperienced she felt. He loved her, and he would be good to her. Their
every action together was an expression of that emotion.

The giddy mood between them turned heavier but not in a bad way.
It was a serious kind of mood, intense.
Overwhelming.

Wrapped in his arms, Lilith wasn’t scared.

He traced the tip of her nose with one finger. “If we do
this .
 . .” He looked into her eyes, taking
her hand and squeezing. “You understand I want more.”

Lilith swallowed down the lump in her throat. “That’s what I want,
too.” She was surer of that single fact than she was of almost anything else in
her life. She had no real idea what she wanted to be, where she wanted to go,
if she wanted kids or not, but she was sure she wanted Trey by her side as she
figured out the answers to all his questions.

His smile was gentle. “Are you ready for this?”

Part of her wanted to deflect with a joke. She could choose to
take his words for their more risqué meaning, but she knew that wasn’t what he
was asking. “I don’t know,” she answered. She was a mess. She knew this. “But I
want to try.”

To her surprise, he pursed his lips as if he were trying not to
laugh. His eyes sparkled with mischief.

“What?” she asked, feeling
shy.

“I’m trying to decide whether to give you Yoda or
The Notebook
.”
He winked at her.

“Try not
or .
 . . the
‘it’s going to be really hard’ speech?”

He growled, a low, sexy sound, and lowered his head, nipping at
her neck. “Give me a second, and I’ll give you really hard.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You think so, do you?”

“Yep.”

He got to his feet, and before she knew it, he’d picked her up,
tossing her over his shoulder. She squealed with surprise, pounding on his
back.
“Trey!”
She called his name several times, but
he ignored her.

When he got to his room, he tossed her down on the bed. He was
over her in a heartbeat, threading their fingers together above her head. His
nose brushed hers, he was that close as he leaned over her. “What?” he asked,
as if he’d
hadn’t
interrupted their conversation at
all.

Lilith blinked. “What?” The word was hardly more than a breath.
Her thoughts were muddled, but not in that usual distracted way of hers. No.
She was there. In fact, none of the rest of the world existed. There was
nothing besides this bed, this man.

Trey brushed his body against hers, kissing her again. It started
out as a soft kiss, a perfect illustration of all the tenderness they felt for
each other. But as she writhed beneath him, pressing upward, seeking friction,
the kiss changed.
Deepened.
His tongue ran along hers.

They rolled to the side, never breaking their kiss. His fingers
were deft, undoing the buttons of her shirt. Hers
fumbled,
her nerves still raw.

How could this feel so new to her?

Dizzy with the myriad of emotions mingling with desire, Lilith
fell onto the mattress on her back again.

Trey splayed his hand over her stomach. “Are you okay?”

“
Mmhmm
.”
She
reached between them, cupping him where he was, as promised, hard. Her hands
still on him, she started to slide down his body.

“Lilith.” The husky quality of his voice sent a shiver straight
down her spine.
“Baby.”
He moved so he was straddling
her again. “Let me take care of you,” he murmured against her lips.

She didn’t understand what he wanted until he was kissing his way
down her neck. He pressed a kiss to her nipple, his tongue darting out. Lilith
sucked in a breath, her fingers tangling in his hair as his hand tickled the
skin of her belly.

So much sensation.
Her
body didn’t know how to react first. His light caress set her wiggling, and his
mouth at her breast elicited the most feral moan.

“I told you once before.” His voice was a growl against her skin
sending delicious vibrations through her body. “This is going to be very
different.”

“But I
don’t .
 . . I don’t
know . . .”

“
Shhh
.”
He
lifted his head even as he undid the button of her jeans. “Let me take care of
you,” he said again.

She looked in his eyes.

“I love you,” he said.

She trusted him.

Relaxing her grip on his hair, she rubbed his scalp, soothing the
sore spot, and nodded. When he tugged on her jeans, she lifted her hips, letting
him slide them down and off along with her panties.

His hands were warm on her thighs as he spread her legs, slipping
off the bed onto his knees. She gave a little yelp when he grabbed her around
the waist, bringing her down closer to him.

“Oh, God.”
She
threw her arm over her eyes the second she felt his mouth on her.

She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand at all. Why was this
so different?

Why did every graze of his fingertips on her stomach, her breasts,
her
neck send her into sensory overload? Never mind
that his tongue on her clit was driving her wild. She was going out of her
mind, and it was the sweetest trip.

Her mind kept trying to restart itself. Even then, she wanted to
revert to old patterns. She knew this dance, knew her part, but his hands, his
glorious tongue,
kept
her in the moment. There were no
steps. Her every movement was reaction.

“Trey.”
She
breathed his name as he bucked her hips when he brought his fingers down,
entering her. His tongue quickened in time with the curl of his fingers as he
sought that spot inside her.

She had just enough time to worry, wondering if he would be
disappointed if he didn’t find it when he did.

“Fuck. Oh!”

She brought her leg up, running the heel of her foot along his
back, needing to touch him somehow. He hummed his approval, and the vibration
did wonderful things to her.

“Trey.”
Her
voice was raw. “Trey, I need you.
I .
 . .”
She tugged on his ear.

What he was doing was amazing. She’d never felt this way
before,
never felt the stirrings of orgasm. There was a need
in her she didn’t know existed.

She wanted him inside her when she came, and she was close. So
close.

Luckily, he seemed to be on the same page. He got to his feet,
bringing her up into a sitting position, and kissed her. Their movements
together were fevered, frantic. Her hands cupped his neck and slid into his
hair. Reaching between them, Trey guided himself to her entrance.