Dust to Dust: A Broken Fairy Tale (25 page)

I interject before Holden can react. “Don’t start, Jess. We are happy with the way things are.” I lean more snugly into Holden and kiss him in a reassuring way. He doesn’t seem to mind, or be surprised by my reaction, making me feel calm instead of nervous that he will be mad at my hesitation. Holden knows me better than anyone, maybe even myself. It’s times like these that I realize how special it is that he can make situations like these casual and easy, instead of awkward and tense.

The rest of the evening is better than I hoped for. The four of us eat like animals, indulging in lobster and crab drenched in butter, oyster shooters, and a few bottles of wine. The entire dinner, Holden is more affectionate than usual, constantly rubbing my back, my thigh, tracing circles along my leg under the table, driving me mad, and he loves every second of it as much as me.

Just as we were finishing our after-dinner drinks, Dave receives a text.

“Please don’t tell me you are being called into the station? You need to tell them that you’ve already been drinking.” Jess is always aggravated when Dave gets pulled away on his off-hours. Truth of the matter is that being sheriff of a small town like Mantoloking means that he is actually pulled away very rarely.

I roll my eyes at Jess. “Oh please, Jess. It’s probably one of the guys telling him that Mrs. Conally’s dog has been barking all day again.”

Jess and I high-five, both laughing at the truth of my comment, but I catch a much different exchange between Dave and Holden. Dave looks up from his phone and gives a serious nod to Holden. Holden’s reaction is instant. His entire body that is pressed against my side tenses in reaction to whatever revelation Dave and he secretly exchanged. He solemnly nods back to Dave and takes a long sip from his drink. He kisses my forehead again, the bitter scent of whisky looming on his breath, and lets out a quiet sigh.

I lean back away from Holden. “What is it? What was that look you just gave each other?”

I turn my accusing eyes to Dave, knowing he will break under my pressure. He’s always been putty in my hands. He’s the most honest man I know, and can’t lie for the life of him. “Dave does that text have anything to do with my accident?” I give him my best “I caught you with your hand in the cookie jar” look.

Jess slaps Dave upside his head, making him scowl at her and let out a defeated grunt. “Fess up, Dave.”

He looks at Holden as if asking for his approval. Holden’s protective, alpha dog side was front and center now. The happiness that was seeping from every pore this entire night is sealed with palpable concern.

“Holden Patrick, you worry too much. Nothing that text says will ruin this night.”
I meant it.

Holden gives me a weak smile and presses his forehead to mine with hooded eyes. “Promise?”

“Promise,” I whisper, kissing his soft lips. I pull away, knowing I have won and turn back to Dave. “Spill it.”

Dave opens the message and shows it to me. Before I can start reading, Jess yelps, “You better read that aloud, missy. I want to know what’s going on too!”

“I wouldn’t do it any other way,” I say, slurring my words slightly. Clearly the drinks have gotten to me. Maybe that is why I’m not nervous reading the text.

I tap the iPhone screen, illuminating the message from Detective Brower.

I clear my throat, trying to sound official as I read the message to everyone. “Hey Man, video surveillance came in from the gas station next to station in Hamilton case. Waters’s car was seen leaving the scene. Bringing him in. Don’t worry, we’ll hold him as long as we can.” I silently re-read over the words that just crossed my lips, thinking I must have had a Freudian slip in my intoxicated state. But there it is in front of me. I have started to believe Jake when he said he wasn’t involved with the accident, telling myself it was all just a horrible coincidence. This message changes everything.

I sit silent, trying to process what I just read.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Holden motions for the check and Dave frantically texts back, trying to get more information. Jess only stares at me like she was waiting for me to blow.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
My head is swimming with questions. The promise I made moments ago repeated in my mind.
Nothing will ruin this night.
I kept telling myself that I should be relieved, that the person who tried to kill me could be behind bars soon. The same person who killed a part of me all those years ago.

I look up at them all and smile. Jess continues to eye me worriedly. “I’m okay, you guys. I am. This is good, right? We should all be relieved, right? It may all be over soon, right?” Tears fill my eyes at the reality of my words.
Will it ever be over?

Dave shakes his head. “I have to be honest here, Cam. The evidence doesn’t point to Jake at all. The alibi he gave for the night of the accident was confirmed by several witnesses. There’s no evidence other than the car pulling out of the parking lot, and we all know the Waters have several cars. To lock him up for good, you need to make a statement about what…” He clears his throat nervously, looking at Holden as if he is about to jump across the table and pummel him for saying it aloud. “Um, you know…about his history with you.”

I shake my head. “Not yet. Let’s see if it really was him first, then maybe. It’s all I can promise right now. We all know how powerful his family is. I can’t risk my girls getting hurt out of retaliation. I have no doubt Mary Waters will stop at nothing to protect her little baby.” The words are like venom coming out of my mouth.

“Jake Waters or someone on behalf of Jake Waters wants me quiet. At least tonight I can sleep peacefully knowing he will be watched like a hawk. So tonight….tonight, we celebrate!” I lift my glass and force a smile, but the gravity of the situation chokes me, making it seem as if I am trying to breathe through a straw.
Fresh air. I need fresh air.

Not able to hold back the tears from the overwhelming feeling, I shoot out of my seat and run out of the restaurant, hiding my face with my purse.

“Cam, wait! Babe, stop!” Holden calls as he chases after me.

I stop dead in my tracks in the middle of the parking lot and turn back to the restaurant. Holden, the man I have loved ever since I knew what love was, stands tall in front of the illuminated doors, looking more like a god than a man. He opens his arms to me, and it is as if the action is something I’ve waited my entire life for. I run back into his arms, unleashing a waterfall of tears. He runs his hands down my hair, kissing me in between his soothing motions.

“It’s alright, babe. I’m here. It’s going to be okay. It was
always
going to be okay. I will never let anything happen to you. Ever.”

I gather myself and look up at him, mascara streaming down my face. “I know, Holden. I know.”

“Let’s go,” Holden says as a group of people exit the restaurant, eyeing us curiously.

“What about Jess and Dave?”

“They’re coming. We’ll wait in the car,” he says, leading me over to his black BMW. “Not quite the night we were hoping for, huh?” He somberly smiles, opening the door for me.

I look up at him, tracing my hand across his strong jawline, and then over his pouty lip. “It’s not how I planned, but like I said. It’s still a night to celebrate. Either way, we are one step closer to having this nightmare over. Now take me to bed or lose me forever, baby.” I smile, playfully reciting one of Holden’s favorite lines. I wipe my face, determined not to let this news destroy our perfect night. I am an adult. I know the importance of what happened, and the possibilities of what is to come. But I also know I can’t control anything that is happening right now, and refuse to live my life in fear. If I do, he’s won. Nothing that Jake, or his family, can do is going to keep me from being happy. Jake promised me he’d leave us alone, and I believe him. That is how I am going to choose to look at this.

The drive home along the quiet shore street is filled with tense conversation, everyone avoiding the elephant in the room. We pull down the gravelly street to Holden’s warm, comforting home. I can’t help but smile at the peace I now feel here.

“Do you guys want to join us for a dip?” I ask, not wanting the turn of events to change my plans of relaxing in the spa while overlooking the peaceful bay.

“Um, thanks, Cam, but we’re beat. Can we take a rain check?” Dave asks politely, avoiding any more awkwardness.

“Sure. Of course,” I answer, hoping Holden and I can still enjoy the rest of the night.

“Thanks for a great night, you guys.” Holden kisses Jess on her cheek and shakes Dave’s hand, whispering something in his ear. I decide to let it go because I am done talking about Jake Waters tonight. Tonight is about being happy.

Jess and I embrace. “I’ll call you in the morning,” she says sweetly.

Holden and I walk up his steps and into his dimly lit home. I smile every time I walk through these doors lately, my heart warming at the sight of pictures the girls have made posted all over his walls. While I would have preferred a much more orderly display, just the idea that Holden doesn’t care about how messy it makes the house look—he only cares that it makes the girls feel proud—makes my heart melt.

I turn to Holden, leaning up on my toes to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I give him my most alluring expression, wanting him to know exactly what my intentions are. His smile returns, his dimples deep and seductive.

“No talking about the text or Jake Waters tonight. I. Mean. It! I’ll meet you in the spa in ten. You get the wine; I’ll get the towels.”

Holden knows better than to argue. He takes my face in his giant hands and pulls me in for a kiss. He brushes his lips across mine, taking in a deep breath, driving me mad. His tongue slides across the opening of my lips, testing me. I respond, pulling him down closer to me, pressing my body against his. I run my hands down his back, under his loosely hanging shirt, tracing my fingers over the ripples of his perfectly sculpted chest. He lets out a soft groan, tightening his grip on my face, setting my core on fire.

He softly bites my bottom lip before begrudgingly pulling away. “Wine. You said something about wine.” Holden’s eyes are beaming with desire. He tries pulling me back in for another kiss, and I know exactly where this is heading.

I smile, leaning back and avoiding his kiss. “Spa. Ten minutes. I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks.”

“Me too,” he says, grabbing his swim trunks from the hook by the porch. “See you in ten. If you make me wait much longer, I’m going to come and track you down, and there will be no spa. All I can think of right now is being buried inside you.” He starts stalking his way back over to me. I laugh and run down the hall, looking over my shoulder at Holden smiling back at me with pure lust in his eyes.
He is perfect.

I shut the door behind me, smiling like a two-year-old in a candy shop. Holden really can make me forget about anything but him when we are together. He makes me happy to the core. There have been many times that I have questioned how I could actually have attracted a man of Holden’s caliber. But when I am with him, he never makes me feel like I need to question anything. He treats me as if he’s the one who has won a prize, not the other way around.

I slip on my black one-piece cut-out suit, hoping to hide the signs of inactivity on my body.
I really should have thought through this whole spa thing.
Holden’s sleek, athletic body left no one wondering if he worked out. It is clear he does, even with clothes on. Me—I ran almost every day before the accident, but still ate like a truck driver. The problem now is that I still eat like a truck driver, only I haven’t exercised in almost two months. I grab a sarong, and wrap it around my chest, hoping that the darkness combined with Holden’s beer goggles will distract him from my curvier hips.

I step out onto the dock and take in the cool salt air. Summer is almost over, and soon nights like these will be a summertime memory. I absentmindedly step over the low wooden fence that separates my dad’s home and Holden’s, and sit down on the rough wooden dock. I skim my toes across the crisp waves of the lagoon, letting each gentle wake calm my nerves as it has done so many times before. The soft shuffling of stones behind me lets me know Holden is approaching. I close my eyes, remembering the last time we sat on this dock together all those years ago when his parents died. Holden was as broken then as I was. I couldn’t understand how he could treat me the way he did back then. But now—now I know that his leaving then was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. We needed to heal, become who we were destined to be. All that matters to me now was that we are together.

Holden slides in next to me, leaning back on his hands as he slips his feet into the water next to mine. It is déjà vu, in the best way. I lean my head on his shoulder as we sit there in silence, letting the memories do the talking.

“I love you so much, Cam,” Holden says, staring out to the water. “I know I messed up a lot along the way, but I hope you know how real this is for me. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life as I am that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I start to interrupt, but Holden pulls me in closer to his side and kisses my head. “Let me get this out, Camryn.” He turns towards me and grabs me by the thighs, pulling me on top of him so that I am straddling him, our bodies touching in all the right places, separated by nothing but the thin layer of cloth of our bathing suits.

“I
am
going to marry you one day. But I know you’re not ready for that yet, and I’m okay with that.” He kisses my lips, sending sparks down to my toes. “But when I do ask you, there will be no doubt in your mind that you want to be with me forever, too.” He deepens his kiss, setting my body on fire. “We were both broken, Camryn, and I know that scares you. But we can still have the fairy tale. You have been the glue that helped put my life back together. Even when we weren’t together, you were always in my heart. Always on my mind. It seemed as if no matter how far away I was from you, something always was there reminding me of you…and that’s because everything I love has to do with you. I couldn’t come back here because seeing you was too painful back then. I wanted you so badly, but knew I was no good for you. Making my life better, putting the pieces back together, fracture by fracture, was always for you, Camryn. Always so that I could be the man you deserve. And now I want to be the glue for you. I want to be the one to put you back together, because you are the most perfect creation that has ever been put on this earth, and I can’t live without you another moment. I don’t ever want to live my life without you at my side again.”