Dusty Britches (68 page)

Feller tightened the saddle cinch and pressed his forehead against the saddle for a moment.
“
I ain
’
t even fit to touch her…let alone kiss her mouth raw, as you put it.
”

“
Why not?
”
Dusty whispered, afraid for a moment that maybe there was really some reason Feller wasn
’
t worthy of her sister. Maybe some secret criminal act or…

“
Because she
’
s perfect and I
’
m a scroungy ol
’
cowboy.
”
Mounting qui
ckly, he rode out at a mad pace—
as if hell itself were nipping at his heels.

Dusty
’
s heart ached for Becca. All day while the men were gone to town or out working in the pastures, Dusty
’
s heart ached for someone other than herself. Becca was becoming
quiet, withdrawn, unfriendly—n
ot
so
unlike Dusty had been. It couldn
’
t happen to her Becca. It couldn
’
t! Not heartache, fear
,
and hate!



It was almost suppertime when the hands rode in from their various endeavors. Ruff drove the wagon and team
,
and Dusty watched from the kitchen window as Ryder and Feller unloaded the rest of the supplies. Twice Ryder
’s eyes were drawn to the house. S
he could
’
ve sworn that
he saw her, but he looked away—
almost guiltily. And then,
very
unexpectedly, he didn
’
t even come in for supper
.
Dusty
’
s fears began to grow
,
her imagination running
toward wild venues
. He
’d changed his mind about her—f
elt ridiculous for saying the things he had said to her the night before!

When the dishes were done, the evening t
alk quieted, and the men bunked
down in the parlor, Ryder still had not come in. Perhaps it wasn
’
t that he
’
d changed his mind. He seemed to be in the same defeated mood he
’
d been in after receiving that danged newspaper!
Perhaps something happened in town
,
she mused. Fortunately, Feller wandered into the kitchen in search of a cup of water.

“
Feller, I
’
m sorry for earlier today! I just…I just…
”
Dusty stammered.

Feller nodded and held up a hand for her to stop her apology.
“
There was a woman in town today, Dusty.
”

Immediately, Dusty began to feel sick. A woman? Ryder
’
s black mood? She nodded and listened as Feller continued in a hushed voice.

“
I ain
’
t never seen her before
.
I didn
’
t hear what she said to him, or him to her for that matter…but she
’
s stayin
’
at the Richins
’
boardin
’
house
,
and when she and Ryder met up…well, she was a
-
bawlin
’
like anythin
’
when they finished arguin
’
, and Ryder
’
s been madder
’
n a hornet ever since.
”

Dusty began
wringing the fabric of her dress,
tears
brimming
in her eyes.

“
I ain
’
t tellin
’
you this to upset y
a
, girl
. S
omethin
’
s wrong
,
and you need to help him through it. He ain
’
t told me what…but I
’
ve been in mind of somethin
’
since the day he rode in here. Five years is a long time and
—”

“
Maybe she
’
s his wife! Maybe he got married while he was gone and…
”
Dusty sobbed in a whisper.

“
No, no, no, sweet pea!
”
Feller reassured her, taking hold of her shoulders.
“
It ain
’
t nothin
’
like that, I
’
m sure. But…but I think he
’
s carryin
’
around some deep scars and
—”

“
I
’
ve seen them,
”
Dusty blurted out.
“
On his back! He
—”

“
I
’
ve seen
’
em too, Dusty. But that ain
’
t what I mean. If everythin
’
is ever gonna be right between you two, y
a
need to help him now.
”
Then he turned
away—
simply retired to the parlor.

Dusty was in a state of panic. A wom
an! Her worst fear! Yes, i
t
had always been her worst fear—t
o find out maybe some other woman had been held in Ryder
’
s arms, caressed
,
and kissed behind a waterfall or in a barn
.

Still,
Ryder was nowhere to be found. When she looked in the barn, at the creek, even at the waterfall, he was nowhere. Had he abandoned her again? Had he ridden off, breaking her
—destroying her
completely?

Even as Dusty lay in bed listening for every sound that might signal his return, his very presence, she cried. He was lost to her! Ryder would never be hers
! The dreams had been only that—
dreams.



She awoke slowly,
comforted a bit by the night breez
e breathing through the windows,
softly billowing the curtains into the room as it whispered with the fragrance of honeysuckle
and
ripening apples from the orchard. The quiet midnight lowing of the cattle in the fields brought her mind out of sleep and into co
nsciousness. Her body was tired—
ached from the strenuous emotions s
till lacing through her. As
her head lay on the comfortable, down-filled pillow, she wondered if merely the single hour of rest would give her back the strength she had lost.

Closing her eyes, Dusty listened again for some sound that would tell her
Ryder was there—
that he hadn
’
t left but
had
merely gone for a late, late, very long walk to ease his mind about whatever the woman in town had said to him
—
or meant to him. The air was still warm from the lingering heat of the late summer day
,
and the crickets still chirped their lullabies of the night.

H
er senses were suddenly alerted by a noise. She opened her eyes again,
looking
toward the open window. It took her anguished mind a moment to realize that something besides a summer breeze was entering her room by way of it. She startled, all at once fully awake when she
realized Ryder was climbing into her room through the window.

“
What on earth are you doin
’
?
”
Dusty asked, glori
ously relieved to see him there—h
opeful! Still, propriety demanded she act appalled. Didn
’
t it?
“
What on earth…
”
she began again, sitting upright in her bed.

“
Ssshhh,
”
Ryder shushed her firmly, a deep scowl puckering his brow as he stepped into the room and began striding toward her.

“
Don
’
t you
dare to shush me,” she scolded. O
bediently, however,
she’d lowered
her voice to a whisper.

He looked angry. He’
d looked angry and determined even before he had completely entered the room. Before Dusty could act in any manner, let alone decide what manner
to act in—
for she
was in rather a state of shock—
Ryder Maddox had stripped off his boots, quietly gone and closed the door
leading
from her room to the house
,
and now
sauntered
toward her bed.

“
What are you doin
’
in here?
”
she asked him. Her senses were completely alive!

In the very next moment and
fully clothed,
he slipped
be
neath the covers of Dusty’s bed. Stretching out
next to her,
he
propped
his head
on his hand, his elbow
planted firmly on the mattress, as he stared at her—
almost furiously.

“
Excuse me? Are you listenin
’
to me? What are you doin
’
?
” she asked, looking down at him—
silently giving up prayers of thanks for his very presence.

Ryder gave no explanation. He simply reached out, took her chin firmly in his strong, callused hand
,
and forced her head back down to her pillow
. S
he now lay looking directly up at him. Dusty was dumbfounded
—completely mute with shock—
delirious with delight! She could say nothing. She could
n’t
move. All she could do was lie there
—
in bed
,
for pity
’
s sake
—
staring at the man
who
had her completely under his control!

“
Is this my place?
”
he asked through clenched teeth. His jaw was so tightened Dusty could hear his teeth grinding with agi
tation. She knew he was angry—b
ut at what? She knew it wasn
’
t directed at her. What then? The woman in town?

“
Is it?
”
he demanded in a booming whisper.

“Wh-
what?
”
she stammered, still unable to c
omprehend the entire situation—
let alone his reasons for placing her in it and the meaning of his question.

“
Here!
”
he stated, releasing her chin and literally pounding his index finger on the
mattress
on which they lay.
“
In bed…next to you…every night! Is this my place?
”

“Ryder…I—
I don
’
t…
”
What did he mean to
ask
? Where had the question suddenly come from? It was madness!

Again he took her chin in his hand and leaned over her, his face so close she could feel the warmth and moisture of his breath on her lips as he spoke.
“
I should leave,
”
he said.
“
Now! Tonight! If I had any brains a
-
rattlin
’
around in my fool head…I
’
d leave! And I will…if this ain
’
t gonna be where I find myself one day soon.
”

Dusty still didn
’
t understand what h
e was trying to convey to her, b
ut she had heard him say that he should leave. He couldn
’
t leave! She would die if he left! Where
had
this come from? Why was he wanting to leav
e so soon
?

“
What do you mean, you
’
re leaving? You can
’
t leave me
—
I mean…you can
’
t leave!
”
she
exclaimed
.
“
There
’
s too much to be done
,
and…you said y
a
weren
’
t gonna
—”