DutyBoundARe (13 page)

“Come here, Gator.” He slapped his thigh and the dog reluctantly plodded over to him, even though Mathieu wasn’t the one with food. He removed the leash and hung it on a peg.

“I’m making jambalaya. It should be ready in a few minutes. You’ve got perfect timing.” She continued to work her magic at the stove he’d practically ignored since moving in.

Mathieu slipped into the narrow space behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. They were friends and play partners, not lovers, but he needed to touch and hold her.

“Hey.” She twisted to smile up at him. Something about his expression must have broadcast his inner turmoil because her smile dimmed a little, though the inner light still shone through. He could see why people went to her with their problems. She saw straight through the shit to the root of the matter. “Rough day?”

“Yeah.” His voice sounded as if someone had taken sandpaper to his vocal chords.

She reduced the heat on the burner and turned in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder and hugging him in return. He couldn’t even tell her what had gotten under his skin. Between her family and digging into the café victim, he was ready to admit there was a very good possibility she was right. Seth was out there.

He inhaled the scent of coffee that seemed to surround her lately, and even that was comforting.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“No. I’d like to forget it.” He wouldn’t, but it was best to not broach his day with her. Not when she seemed so happy. “What did you do today?”

“Took Gator out for a long walk, found a dog park that was completely unoccupied, so we played with a Frisbee.”

“No wonder he loves you more than me.”

Lisette tossed her head back and laughed. “Not true.”

“He barely pays attention to me anymore.”

“Oh stop that.” She looped her arms around his neck, the megawatt smile back in place.

There was something about her, an intangible quality that words couldn’t capture, that stole his breath when she looked this way. Happy. Content. Something more. He wanted to hold her tight, claim some of that for himself, but she wasn’t his to keep.

For now, he’d hold onto her. Just for a while longer.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.

“I will be.”

“I worry about you.”

Him? He stared at her, muddling through the statement. She was the one with a psychopath hunting her down, not him.

She reached up and ran her fingers across his cheek, up over his brow. “It’s like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You know you can’t be responsible for everything, right? You’re one man.”

“You mean work?”

“Yeah.” She rested her hands against his chest. “You take the job home with you. I see it in the way you’re wound up when you get home. I don’t want you to get an ulcer or anything.”

It was hard some days to let the job go. The things he saw, the lives destroyed and the cruel acts committed every day destroyed a little of his belief in humanity. There were fellow officers who were bitter and cynical. He hoped he never got to that point, that he never forgot the people they helped and the lives they saved, but it was hard. Especially when the system seemed to be fighting for the bad guys.

He stroked her back and mustered a smile for her benefit. “You’re right.”

His gaze dropped to her mouth, so ready to be kissed. If this were another time and maybe if they were different people, he’d press her up against the counter and take her. Kiss those lips until they swelled and she panted for breath.

The grease in the pan popped several times and Gator yelped, scampering out of the kitchen. The momentary spell weaving them together broke and she spun toward the stove.

“Oh puppy, did it get you?” Lisette pulled the pan off the burner, grasping the spatula to rescue the sausage from burning. “Check on him, will you? This’ll be done in a minute.”

Mathieu retreated to the couch and sank down on the edge. Gator huddled on his bed, ears flat against his head.

“Come here, boy. Did that grease get you?” He patted his leg and Gator belly crawled the few feet to him and rolled onto his back. Mathieu ran his palms over Gator’s smooth coat, rolling the dog over to check his head, face and snout for any hurt. “I don’t think it got you. You just aren’t used to anyone cooking, are ya?”

Amanda had never been big on cooking, and Mathieu hadn’t picked it up. Before his ex-wife, he’d eaten most meals either with his old patrol partner or his family. He hadn’t needed to know more than how to cook a few basic things. He could very well get used to meals cooked at home.

chapter Nine

Play

He glanced at the kitchen, but Lisette seemed busy. He padded into the bedroom and turned on a lamp, Gator shadowing his steps. Her backpack sat in the corner, the clothes folded and stacked neatly on the floor.

Mathieu went through the zipper pouches on the bag, finding toiletries, odds and ends before he hit what he was looking for.

The pictures.

He pulled the photo printouts Amber had given him out of his pocket and held the two images up together. He flipped to the second picture, which showed the victim in the same left-facing pose as Lisette’s picture.

The marks were similar.

There was even a crook, as if Seth’s pinky fingers were crooked.

It wasn’t hard evidence, but it was proof enough.

“Food’s ready,” Lisette called out.

He shoved the pictures back in her bag and zipped everything up. She didn’t need to know. Not yet.

Mathieu stepped out of the bedroom, just in time to intercept his chef. Guilt wrapped around his throat. Did she know what he’d just done? What he was keeping from her? There was no reason for her to know, not yet. It would just worry her, and he wanted her to be at ease here. Where she was safe.

“Here you go.” Lisette handed him a plate of jambalaya. “What do you want to drink? There’s beer, tea and water in the fridge.”

A beer sounded nice, but playing with Lisette was an even more appealing dessert. He would never want to dull his senses with alcohol before playing, not when some of their activities were potentially harmful.

“Some tea, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay.” She turned and headed for the kitchen.

“You know, I can get it myself.” He watched the way her hips swayed and caught a glimpse of the tattoo wrapping around her lower back between her shirt and jeans.

“Oh please, it’s the least I can do to repay you for taking me in off the streets,” she called from the kitchen.

He listened to her moving around in his home. Home. He’d never really considered the apartment home until she’d landed in his life. Would it still be home without her?

Lisette returned after a moment, two glasses of iced tea in her hand like a waitressing pro, and her dinner in the other. He helped her settle the things on the coffee table and shooed Gator away when he got too close to the steaming plates.

“I didn’t forget you,” Lisette said to the dog. She produced a treat from her pocket and reached over Mathieu for Gator to gently take it from her fingertips and trot over to his bed to munch his prize in privacy. Or better yet, where he could find all the crumbs. “For a breed people claim is so vicious, he’s a big teddy bear.”

“You should see him with kids. I took him to the family reunion last year and my cousin’s brood had him dressed up in doll clothes. It was embarrassing.” He scooped up his first bite of the jambalaya and inhaled the scent of spices and sausage. His stomach rumbled and mouth watered.

“That sounds adorable.” Lisette settled in on the opposite side of the couch, cradling her plate.

“Damn, this smells amazing. Did you make this from scratch?” He pushed the rice around, catching glimpses of shrimp, more sausage, something that looked like chicken. It was a hearty dish, to be sure.

“Of course. My mamma taught me better than to make it from a box. What do you take me for?”

Mathieu spooned a bite into his mouth and forgot how to speak. Spices bit his tongue and the flavor of the meat and vegetables washed over his palate. He couldn’t help but moan in ecstasy at the sheer perfectness of it.

“Oh my god, you’re too much.” Lisette laughed, but he didn’t care.

“Don’t tell grandmère I said this, but your jambalaya might be as good as hers.”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Don’t say that, she might put a voodoo spell on me.”

Mathieu rolled his eyes, but her cheerfulness was helping to soothe his nerves. “You know better than that.” There were a lot of misconceptions about voodoo, thanks to the popularization of it in early horror movies that featured evil witches and perverted many of the inherently good practices.

“I do, but still. Ask her to please not put a hex on me?” She giggled and he rolled his eyes again.

Lisette had only met his family in passing, but it’d left an impression. For months after they broke up, his grandmère had asked about her. Knowing what he knew now about Lisette’s past, he wondered how their lives might have been different if Lola hadn’t prodded him into the break up. Did Lola know how Lisette had changed?

“I saw my brother today,” she announced.

Mathieu froze reaching for his tea. “What?”

Did her brother know about his visit to her parents? After what he’d experienced, he’d been mulling over the idea that perhaps her not knowing might be the best plan. But if she already knew…

“I was down on Royal in a café after walking Gator and he called me. Turns out he was only a few blocks away so he came over and we hung out for a little while.” She pushed her food around on her plate, one side of her mouth kicked up.

“Did it go well?”

“Yeah. It’s crazy, but I never really got along with him growing up. I think I like him better as an adult. I could be wrong. It’s not like I’ve spoken with him since the last time I was here, but I’m glad we reconnected.” She spooned a bite of food in her mouth and watched him over her plate.

“I’m glad.” He took a deep breath and set his plate on his knee. Telling her was a bad idea, but keeping the truth from her was even worse.

“What’s that look for?”

“I…went to see your parents today.”

“What?” She choked on her last bite and reached for her glass of tea.

“I’ve been looking into the Seth stuff, and I thought they might have some information you didn’t.”

“Did you tell them I’m here?” Her eyes were round, the muscles in her face tense.

“No, as far as they know, I’m just asking about an out of state case. I don’t even think they recognized my name.” He wasn’t even positive Lisette had ever spoken his name to her parents when they were dating.

She relaxed into the cushions, her complexion a little paler.

“Lisette?”

“I wish you would have told me you were going. If they tell my brother, he’ll figure it out.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I just don’t want them hurt because of me. It’s already bad enough that you’re involved, but they have no idea who Seth really is. What he’s capable of.”

“Do you think your brother would tell them?”

She shook her head. “No, he was really concerned about me and totally understood not wanting to tell Mom and Dad I was here. Maybe I should tell him before they do. I just—I’ve never had a good relationship with any of them, and I can see Leo and me actually staying in touch now. I don’t want to ruin that, ya know?”

“I do. Tell him, if you think it’s the right thing to do.” Mathieu knew it was, but part of him still wanted to hoard her all for himself. Even from her brother.

“He wants to have lunch tomorrow. I might tell him then.” With that decided, the tension eased from her and she tucked into her food.

“Okay. Sounds good to me.”

Mathieu turned the TV on, more for background noise than a distraction, and followed her example. The meal was as delicious as anything he ate at the weekly family dinners. And speaking of, if Lisette planned to stay much longer, they’d be facing his family soon, too. Lola knew the situation, but how did he explain it to everyone else without them jumping to the most logical conclusion—that they were a couple.

He’d talk to Lola about it later.

Lisette scratched Gator’s head
pillowed on her stomach and listened to the sounds of Mathieu in the kitchen. The sink turned on and off randomly as he cleaned up. The domestic feel of it all was so normal. She’d never wanted to play house or aspired to being married with two-point-five kids, the dog and white picket fence. But maybe she’d never wanted that because Mathieu hadn’t been part of the picture.

Her emotions were so tangled around the man. The warning signs were big and neon all around her. She was getting over what Seth had done to her a little every day, but the trade-off was falling for Mathieu all over again. And he wasn’t at a place where he was ready for her or the emotional commitment of a relationship.

She hated the woman who had destroyed him so thoroughly. He wasn’t the first man to be devastated by a woman. She’d seen several in her time at the practice in Miami, and her heart went out to them. But with Mathieu it was different. He could have been hers. It hurt to think of it that way.

If they hadn’t broken up, if Mathieu had guided her journey down the rabbit hole into kink, where would they be now? It was a life lost to them, maybe forever. His stance toward her hadn’t seemed to change. Though he cared for her, it wasn’t what she wanted it to be. She hadn’t come to New Orleans to rekindle a romance with him though. She needed to hold onto that, to remember that the hugs, gentle caresses, and the brief pecks on her cheek were nothing more than a very good Dominant caring for his play partner. That was it.

The kitchen light flipped off and Mathieu rounded the corner. He rested his shoulder against the partial wall that separated the two spaces and studied her.

Gator lay across her legs, perfectly content to serve as her living, breathing blanket. At least one creature loved her.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Yup. I’d make room for you, but I think I’ve lost all feeling in my feet.”