E. Godz (16 page)

"You told the Reverend Everything what?" Teddy Tumtum demanded, button eyes
fairly bugging out of his squishy fabric skull.

"I told him that I was thinking about quitting," Peez replied in a calm voice. "You
know: giving up on the competition for backing, letting the chips fall where they may as
far as who gets to run the company after Mom— I mean, who gets to run the company
next. Why are you acting like it's such a big deal?"

She had rented a car at the airport and was driving to the prearranged meeting spot
that Sam Turkey Feather had proposed, deep in the heart of a Tucson shopping mall. His
choice of rendezvous had puzzled Peez, but only for a little while. She no longer bothered
herself over the possible hidden agendas of everyone she encountered. If Edwina could
have known, she would have been so proud of her little girl: Peez was finally learning to
go with the flow.

Not so Teddy Tumtum. The only flow the little stuffed bear might conceivably go
with was a river of blazing lava a mile wide, oozing its way down Mt. What-the-hell?!
Peez had taken him out of the carry-on bag and strapped him into the passenger's seat
beside her, hoping that the scenery would distract him. He hadn't been civil since the
instant she'd told him about all that he'd missed during her visit to the Immersionarium.

"I knew it," the bear said, gazing up at the roof of the rental car as if it were about to
split open so that the angels of mercy might reach in and snatch him away, ending his
misery. "I knew this would happen if I closed my eyes for one second. I blame myself."

"Stop that; you sound like a stereotypical Jewish grandmother," Peez said gently.
"Anyway, you can't close your eyes."

"But I can take a time-out," Teddy Tumtum argued. "Especially if some people I
could mention pack me headfirst all the way at the very bottom of their carry-on bag,
where old breath mints go to die, and leave me there, alone, in the dark. Oh, it's no better
than you think I deserve, I'm sure. After all, what have I ever done for you? Just given
you years and years of unconditional love and support and guidance is all! Helped you,
counseled you, kept you from making an idiot of yourself more times than I can count on
these threadbare old paws of mine. Look at these pads! Just look at them!" He stuck out
his fuzzy arms and gave her an imploring look.

"What's wrong with them?" Peez asked the question even though she knew she'd
regret it.

"Wrong? Nothing ... if you like rags! When I was first confected, these paws were
suede! Now what are they? Tattered and frayed, worn down to chiffon, do you hear me?
To chiffon! Would it kill you to pick up a needle and thread, give them a stitch here, a
stitch there, maybe even applique a fresh set of pads onto them? But no. That you don't
have time for. But for quitting, for giving up, for throwing in the goddam towel, for that
you've got all the time in the world! For that you make time!"

Peez sighed. "Right now I'm tempted to ask directions to the Grand Canyon and drive
us both over the edge," she said. "That's sure as hell where you're driving me. I don't
know why you're carrying on like a crazy thing: I said I changed my mind. Or did you
just stop listening to me at the point where you could start hollering your lint-filled head
off for no good reason? Read my lips: I'm not going to quit the battle for the company
directorship."

"Oh, puh-lease." Teddy Tumtum sneered better than a corps of trained sixteen-year-
old mall rats. "So you're not quitting. Read my mouth stitches: Biiig deeal. You say
you're back in the fight, but as what? A five-star general or some poor moop who got
drafted when he wasn't looking?"

"What makes you think I won't give this everything I've got?"

"Don't try to fool me: I can tell. Who knows you, baby? You're still facing the fight of
your financial life with that cutthroat baby brother of yours, and you're just gonna phone
it in. And why? Because ittoo Peezie-pie went and gots her dewicate iwooshuns awww
bwoke. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Po', po' ickle Peezie."

"I got my what broke?" Peez asked.

"Your illusions," the bear said, dropping the baby talk. "So the Reverend Everything's
all about show biz, and Ray Rah's gang is all partay and pretending to be young, and
Fiorella gave you the brush-off, and Agparak gave you— Okay, so maybe you did get
something good out of that visit, but still, you're sniveling around because Edwina's top
clients either don't want to know you or you don't want to know them. Why? Because you
think they're phonies. So what? The checks don't bounce."

"Teddy Tumtum, it's not just about the money."

"What, do I look like I was stuffed yesterday? It is so too!"

Peez shook her head and fixed her eyes on the road. "There's no talking to you when
you're like this," she said. "I give up."

"Yes, you're good at that," said Teddy Tumtum, smugly getting in the last word.

* * *

"Mr. Turkey Feather, I presume?" Peez said, extending her hand to the Native
American spiritual leader. They had met, as previously arranged, outside The Gap. (To
quote Sam, "These days it's the closest we can come to heading someone off at the pass.")
"Or do you prefer Turkey Plucker?"

Sam's eyes opened a little wider in pleased surprise. "How did you know that?"

"I like to do my research," Peez replied. "I feel it's a courtesy to the client to know
everything you can about him or her."

"Commendable. May I take your bag, Ms. Godz?"

"What bag?" Peez looked to left and right, puzzled. She'd left her carryon safely
locked away in the rental car.

"The one with your chief research assistant packed inside," Sam said. "The bear?"

"How do you know about Teddy Tumtum?" Peez blurted.

The Native American laughed. "You're not the only one who does research. If we
both make it a point to know as much about the other as possible, we can call it courtesy
instead of espionage. And yes, I would prefer if you called me by Turkey Plucker, though
if you really want to know what I'd like the most, just call me Sam."

"Only if you call me Peez." The pair of them exchanged smiles that were not in Dov's
extensive repertoire.

Soon thereafter they were riding along the highway in Sam's truck. Teddy Tumtum,
retrieved from the carry-on bag in the rental car trunk, was pressed against the windshield
singing Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer at the top of his stockinette lungs.

"You were the one who insisted on bringing him," Peez said to Sam. "Happy about it
now?"

"I can take it," Sam replied, his jaw set in grim determination. "I keep telling myself
that after everything else my people have endured at the hands of the White Man, an
obnoxious stuffed bear is no biggie."

"Is it working?"

"No. Right now I'm ranking him somewhere between broken treaties and smallpox-
infected blankets."

"Hey, I resent that!" Teddy Tumtum interrupted his droning song to voice his
objection, then groused: "Damn. Now I lost my place. I'll have to start all over from the
beginning. Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of— YEEE!"

Sam stopped the truck. "You really shouldn't have thrown him out the window, Peez."

"I know." Peez's head drooped in contrition. "But it just felt so good!"

It took her the better part of an hour to find the little bear again. After spending that
much time out in the midday sun, the initial thrill of pitching him out the window was
well and truly gone.

"There you are!" Peez panted when she finally laid hands on him once more. The
little bear had been sprawled in the shade of a cactus plant. "Why didn't you say
something to let me know where to find you? I tried invoking your homing hex, but it
didn't work, for some reason." She gave him a suspicious look. "Did you disable it,
Teddy Tumtum?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Teddy Tumtum made an art of sarcastic payback. "I was under the
impression that you didn't want to hear from me ever again. My goodness gracious me,
wherever might I have gotten that idea? Oooh, could it have been something as trivial as
being flung out the window of a speeding truck?!"

"Oh, calm down. You're stuffed. You bounce. The fall didn't hurt you."

"Maybe not my body." Teddy Tumtum sniveled and wiped invisible tears from his
eyes. " 'Ooo went and bwoke my ickle heart. Bitch."

Peez laughed. "That's my Teddy Tumtum!" She gave him a hug and climbed back
into Sam's truck.

"Found him?" Sam asked casually. "Way to go." He started up the truck again and
drove on. Throughout the whole search-and-rescue operation, he had remained
comfortably ensconced in the air-conditioned cab, letting Peez do all the work of finding
the bear. Now it was time for a reckoning.

"Yes, I found him," Peez said angrily. "Not thanks to you, might I add."

"None expected. I wasn't the one who threw him out the window."

"Maybe not, but you've got to admit, you shared the benefit of it."

Sam shrugged. "I get a lot of that response from you city folk. First you do something
I didn't ask for, maybe even something I never wanted, then you tell me I benefited from
it so it's my duty to share the cost. But do you ever ask me if I think the results help me
live my life more comfortably, or did they just help you advance your idea of how you
think I'm supposed to be living?"

"Wow," said Teddy Tumtum. "That's an awful lot of resentment you're harboring just
over tossing a teddy bear out of a truck."

"Friend, I've got resentment I've hardly used," Sam said. "The good news is, I don't
think I'll ever bother using it. I've got better things to do."

"Like fleecing the woo-woos and wannabes of their wampum," the bear said. "We
read the reports on your operation before we came here. Take one clutch of yuppies, stick
'em in the desert, hand them a rattle, a bottle of designer-label spring water, tell them that
their true name is Squatting Iguana or Dances-With-Dot-Coms, and have them sign on
the dotted line of any major credit card slip. Ka-ching! Money is the— YEEE!"

Peez looked accusingly at Sam. "Okay, this time you find him."

Sam pulled the truck over. "Sure you want him found?"

"Yes, I'm sure!"

"Find him, then."

"Hey, you were the one who—!"

Sam turned sharply and took Peez by the shoulders. "This isn't about finding that
snide little scrap of fake fur. This is about finding something for yourself."

"A vision quest?" Peez smiled. "I don't think so. It's starting to get dark out there.
Besides, do I look like a yuppie who wants to get spiritual enlightenment in just eight
minutes a day?"

"Making fun of something you don't understand? I expected better of Edwina's
daughter." Sam looked stern. "Don't be a fool, Peez. What I do isn't just about making a
quick buck off gullible white-eyes. I could do that a lot faster and easier if I stuck to my
fetish-bead business or started mass-producing medicine pouches. Do you even know
why yuppies—people who've supposedly got everything money can buy—feel that they
still need spirituality? After all, you can't take it to the bank, it won't help you get ahead
in business, and it won't attract a trophy spouse."

Peez shook her head. "I don't know, but I do wonder. Truth is, when I started this
whole journey of mine, it was all about just those kind of things: money, power, self-
importance. Now ..." She bit her lip, unsure of how to go on.

"Now it's different," Sam concluded for her, his voice gentle. "Now it's about
something more, isn't it?"

This time she nodded. "I used to think that what E. Godz, Inc. had to offer was just
like those mass-produced medicine pouches you mentioned. It was a business, pure and
simple. Now that I've gotten out there and seen some of the people involved, I know it's
more than that. Even the most showy, splashy, fake-looking ceremony can provide
something that people really seem to need."

"It's hard these days, living in the cities," Sam said. "Hard to stay in touch with
nature, with the changing of the seasons, the great cycles; hard to appreciate something
like a harvest festival of thanksgiving when you buy your food in a supermarket. No
matter how much we try to ignore the seasons and the cycles and the forces of nature,
we're still a part of them. We're children, Peez, and a child who turns away from his
mother before he's able to stand on his own isn't going to get very far. That's why so
many people are looking to the religions that put them back in touch with the earth. All
religions do, in their own way. But some people can't seem to find what they need in the
faiths they were taught as children. For them, religious rites became something you did
once a week or sometimes only once a year. People change their hairstyles more often
than that. The important thing isn't how they rediscover their spiritual side, just as long as
they do it."

"They do it, you help them, and E. Godz, Inc. helps you." Peez looked thoughtful. "I
was thinking about stepping out of the competition for company leadership. I was upset
by all the hucksterism I saw, but now I know it's only surface glitter. The heart of what
we do is sincere. Mother didn't just set up a cash cow; she saw what people needed, and
she created the most efficient way to serve that need. I know all that, now. I don't know if
I'm the right person to take over the job."

"Maybe that's what you should be searching for," Sam said, leaning across her to
open the door on her side of the cab. "While you're looking for the bear."

"Multitasking?" Peez gave him a shy smile and got out of the truck. "Just one thing: If
I don't come back by daybreak, check to see if I took a meeting with a rattler, okay?"
With that, she trudged off into the desert.

The first streaks of pink, purple and gold were lighting the horizon when she returned,
holding Teddy Tumtum. Her face was transformed with a deep serenity that Sam
recognized at once.