Authors: Ilsa Evans
‘No need.’ Emily stood in the doorway, wiping her hands on a tea-towel. ‘Megan bought a two-for-one. She said it was more economical, so there’s one left over. It’s in her top drawer.’
‘Please god, please god, please god,’ muttered Jill in a droning litany as she ran from the lounge-room up the passage. ‘Please god, I’ll never do anything wrong again. Not adultery, not leaving my family, not yelling at them, in fact, Cricket can swear as much as she likes and Matt can lay about on the couch all day and Kate can wear black and Megan can – no, she can’t.’
Jill threw open Megan’s door without bothering to knock and stood in the doorway with her hand on the doorknob, breathing heavily as she stared at her daughter.
‘The test! Where’s the spare test?’
‘What?’ Megan, who had been lying face-down on her bed, raised herself slightly to stare with reddened eyes over her shoulder at her mother. The cat, who had obviously been trapped underneath her, immediately shot out and flew off the bed and through the door.
‘The test,’ shrieked Jill, ‘where is it?’
‘Um, in my drawer – why?’
‘The other one may have been ruined because of your
grandmother putting it in her mouth, that’s why,’ replied Jill. She rummaged through Megan’s underwear drawer and triumphantly raised the pastel packaged spare test. ‘Ta da! Now you need to take it.’
‘Oh,
no
, not again!’
‘Yes, again! And right now!’
‘But why?’ moaned Megan, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and staring pitifully at her mother. ‘I already
know
that I’m pregnant. Why do I need to take a test?’
‘To make me feel better.’ Jill tugged at her daughter’s elbow. ‘Come on.’
‘This is totally a waste of time.’ Megan snatched the package from her mother and marched from the room. ‘Totally!’
‘Please god, please god, please god . . .’ Jill continued her litany as she paced up and down the passage. On her third turn she glanced up towards the family room entrance and saw Jack leaning in the doorway, watching her. She smiled nervously and held up her crossed fingers. In answer, he took his hand from behind his back and held up his own.
‘Snap.’
‘Do you think . . . maybe there’s a chance?’
‘Well,’ he looked towards the bathroom door, ‘she
is
only sixteen. And sixteen year olds make mistakes, especially if they feel really guilty about something. And Megan being Megan, I’m guessing that she’s been eating herself up about ...
you
know – ever since.’
‘True,’ mused Jill.
‘So, we can only hope,’ Jack sighed. ‘And if she
is
, then we’ll deal with that too. She’s a good kid.’
‘True again.’
Jill resumed her pacing, walking quickly from one end of the passage, where she could just see the occupants of the lounge-room as they waited for news, to the other, where Jack
leant. She kept up her chant as she went, but now under her breath in the form of a monotonal muttering. Every minute or so she checked her watch and soon discovered that the seconds had never crept by more slowly.
‘Are you leaving me?’
‘What?’ Jill stopped dead halfway up the passage and stared back at Jack.
‘You heard.’
‘Ah. Um, not now, Jack,’ Jill looked nervously at the bathroom door, ‘because this could change everything and –’
‘No,’ Jack interrupted, ‘no, it couldn’t. I don’t want you to stay with me just because of this. If Megan’s pregnant, we’ll support her no matter what. But if you want to bloody leave, then leave, don’t stay because of something else. Just bloody well go.’
‘No!’ said Cricket, appearing underneath her father’s arm. ‘Don’t bloody well go!’
‘Mum!’ Megan threw open the bathroom door and stood in the doorway holding the pregnancy test out like a wand. And it might as well have been a wand, because it had certainly worked magic. There was no need for Megan to utter another word – the way her reddened eyes sparkled and the blotches on her face glowed spoke volumes.
Jill’s mouth fell open as her daughter beamed at her, and her stomach did a three-quarter tuck-jump followed by a double somersault. Then she snatched the pregnancy test from Megan and, holding it between her shaking hands, held it up and read it. And it was clear – absolutely clear, with no little blue line in sight.
‘Megan,’ Jill breathed, slowly looking up from the test to the radiant face of her daughter, ‘you’re
not
pregnant.’
‘Oh my god,’ muttered Jack.
‘
Fuck
it,’ said Cricket.
Race Nine, 4.40 pm
The ninth race had come and gone while everyone was waiting for the pregnancy test results, and had brought little excitement mainly because it had felt a bit unseemly to cheer while others in the house were on tenterhooks to find out whether their lives had been irrevocably changed. However, the results of the test, when they filtered through to the lounge-room, brought copious amounts of applause. And another bottle of champagne as well. They were now crowded around the dining-room table, where Matt was setting up a game of crown and anchor, and still congratulating each other as if they had each played some part in not getting Megan pregnant.
And the most relieved of all, even including Megan, were her parents. Jack looked as if he had dropped ten years off his age in a matter of minutes, while Jill just kept closing her eyes, sighing and then smiling hugely. Megan herself had taken off to phone Justin and inform him of the happy news, and also the not-so-happy news that her father was insisting that he come to dinner that weekend. To get to know the family a little better.
Emily’s pleasure was partly marred by a feeling that she was
somehow responsible for ruining the past few hours of Melbourne Cup Day. If she had managed the test a little better, maybe none of this would have happened. But then again, she reflected as she poured herself another champagne, if Megan was having unprotected sex, it was just as well that her parents knew about it. So she had, in fact, done them a favour.
‘So what does this game involve?’ Sybil edged a little closer to the table and looked down at the green felt covering that Matt had thrown over it. The covering was divided into six huge squares, each with a picture of a different suit on it – clubs, diamond, spades and hearts – with the two remaining squares bearing an anchor on one and a crown on the other. Everybody, except Emily’s mother, who had elected to continue crocheting, and Megan, was crowded around the outside of the table awaiting instructions.
‘Well, you put your money on whatever square you want and then the dealer throws the dice – these three.’ Matt held up three specially marked dice. ‘And whoever has money on whatever is thrown gets their money back plus an equal amount from the bank. I’m the bank.’
‘Can you afford to be the bank?’ asked his father with a frown. ‘If you hit a losing streak, you’ll be up for a fair bit.’
‘Sure,’ said Matt breezily, ‘no problemo.’
‘And this is the
last
game,’ announced Jill firmly, just in case anyone had plans to stay the night. ‘Then there’s one more race and that’s it.’
‘I’m going for diamonds.’ Sybil opened her purse.
‘Hearts,’ said Adam shortly, throwing a dollar coin down on the appropriate square.
‘I’ll take – let me see . . .’ Jill regarded the squares. ‘I’ll go for anchors.’
‘And crowns for me.’ Emily dug her hand into her pocket, which she had filled with change, and put a two-dollar coin down
onto the appropriate square. Then she stood back and watched as everyone else made their decisions and placed their bets.
‘All done? All done?’ asked Matt, in a deep voice.
‘Can I come out now?’ Cricket stood in the doorway and looked at her father tearfully. ‘I’m thorry I thaid –’
‘Okay!’ Jack interrupted, putting his hand in his pocket and pulling out a handful of small change. ‘Come over here and I’ll help you.’
‘Yay!’
‘Here we go!’ Matt waited for a split second while Cricket carefully placed a ten-cent coin down onto the spade square, and then he tossed the dice across the felt covering. They rolled to a stop against the far edge, showing a pair of spades and a heart. ‘Paying spades and hearts! Paying spades and hearts! Don’t touch your money yet!’
While Matt placed equal sums over the top of any coins in the spades and hearts squares, and then scooped up all the rest with the kitchen spatula, Emily wandered over to the island bench and sat down on a stool. From this comfortable position, she could leap up and put money down when needed and still relax away from the crowd in between times.
‘Hearts are winning,’ commented Adam, as he took the stool next to her. ‘It’s a sign.’
‘A sign of what?’
‘I’ll have to wait and see,’ he replied sagely.
‘Here –’ Emily passed him another two-dollar coin as Matt started calling for more bets – ‘put this down for me on crowns and then come back here.’
‘Fine.’ Adam got up and pushed past Sybil and Jack to put her money down on the table with some of his own. Then he returned to the stool and looked at her questioningly.
‘Whatever it is that you thought he did, I don’t think he did at all.’
‘Jill told you?’
‘Yes – and so did Tim.’
‘Oh.’
‘He didn’t do it, you know.’
‘Yeah, I’m beginning to think that too.’
‘Good. So what are you going to do about it?’
‘Well . . .’ Adam looked over towards Tim, who was watching the throw of the dice with rapt concentration. ‘it’s probably too late for us. Especially since he’s been with you –’
‘But he hasn’t. That is, there was a bit of kissing and cuddling, but no sex. If that’s what you mean.’
‘Ah.’
‘And it’s another spade with a heart and a club!’ called Matt. ‘Don’t take your money yet! Don’t take your money yet!’
‘So how would you feel,’ Adam said, ‘if we – you know?’
‘Fine. Go for it.’
‘You’re serious?’
‘Totally. But this time –’ Emily grabbed his sleeve as he got up to collect his winnings – ‘don’t keep him a secret. Bring him around, introduce him to the family properly.’
‘Even Corinne?’
‘Even Corinne.’ Emily smiled as Adam wrapped her in a bear-hug, and then watched as he went back over to the table, grabbed his money and threaded his way slowly to where Tim was standing. As he reached his destination, he glanced back across at her and grinned. She grinned back and gave him a thumbs-up.
‘Are you matchmaking?’ asked Jill as she took Adam’s seat.
‘Trying to,’ Emily smiled, ‘and you’re next.’
‘Place your bets! Place your bets! Aunt Emily! Did you want to put any money down?’
‘Yes.’ Emily fished a dollar out of her pocket and threw it across to Matt, who caught it deftly. ‘Put it on crowns, they’re bound to come up soon.’
‘Listen, about last night –’ Jill glanced over to make sure that Jack was out of earshot – ‘it was a total accident. I would never do anything like that if I knew, well, knew what I was doing.’
‘What did you think you were doing?’ asked Emily curiously. ‘Pottery?’
‘No, of course not. I was asleep.’
‘I’ve heard that excuse before. In fact, I’ve used it myself.’
‘No, it’s true.’ Jill grabbed Emily’s arm earnestly. ‘I was out like a light and, when he got into bed with me, I thought it was Jack. Really I did.’
‘I believe you. Do you think Jack will?’
‘He must never know.’ Jill went pale at the thought. ‘We’ve got enough problems.’
‘True.’
‘And hardly anything happened, anyway. All he did was touch my . . . my –’ Jill pointed to her right breast as if Emily were unaware of its exact location. ‘My breast.’
‘Jack’s watching,’ commented Emily mildly.
‘Oh!’ Jill dropped her hand as if it were on fire, and flashed a look across at her husband. ‘You bitch, he is not!’
‘Mind you, I’m definitely better off without him.’ Emily dropped her gaze meaningfully to Jill’s chest region. ‘Especially if he can’t tell the difference between you and me.’
‘Hey!’ Jill looked down as well. ‘Mine aren’t
that
bad. Considering I’ve had four kids, that is.’
‘Exactly.’
‘And the throw is a heart, a diamond and another spade! That’s a heart, a diamond and another spade! Leave your money where it is! No money till the dealer says!’
‘What’s happened to crowns?’ grumbled Emily, pulling another dollar out of her pocket and waiting for Matt to cover the bets.
‘Mum –’ Megan walked over and, clasping her mother’s hand, stood next to her and beamed – ‘I’m not pregnant.’
‘I know, darling,’ Jill grinned back. ‘Marvellous, isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘But you do realise we’re going to have to have a chat about this, don’t you?’ Jill stroked Megan’s hand and looked at her sternly. ‘And why didn’t you tell me that you were . . . that you wanted to – I would have made sure –’
‘Oh, you don’t have to worry,’ Megan said fervently. ‘I am so never going to do
it
again. Never.’
‘I should bet against that instead of on crowns,’ commented Emily dryly.
Jill frowned at her sister and then turned back to Megan. ‘We’re still having a talk, though. Also, Megan, how far over are you?’
‘Over what?’
‘Overdue. I mean, your periods. How late are you?’
‘Mu-
um
!’ Megan flushed, looked around wildly, and then focused back on her mother. ‘Do you
mind
?’
‘Yes, actually.’ Jill looked back at her evenly. ‘So answer the question. How late are you?’
‘Like, you know . . .’ mumbled Megan, letting go of her mother’s hand and fiddling with her top instead. ‘About three days.’
‘
What
? Three
days
?’
‘Yes, three days,’ replied Megan defensively. ‘Why?’
‘But, Megan –’ Emily didn’t know whether to laugh or cry – ‘three days is nothing! If I thought I was pregnant every time I was three days over, I’d be buying the damn tests in bulk!’
Jill frowned at Emily again before taking her daughter’s hand once more. ‘Listen, darling, three days late probably just means you were already worried about having, well, sex. And your body is reflecting your concerns. Although . . .’ she
paused awkwardly and took a deep breath, ‘um, when did you actually have . . . um, you know.’
‘Mu-
um
!’
‘That’s important, Megan,’ chimed in Emily earnestly, ‘because if it was just in the last week or so, then maybe you still
are
pregnant and it’s too early to tell.’
‘Weeks ago,’ mumbled Megan damply as she shovelled the end of her plait in her mouth and spoke around it. ‘Just after my last, um –’
‘That’s all right then!’ Jill let out her breath in a whoosh and beamed at her daughter as though she had done something particularly clever. ‘Excellent!’
‘Whatever,’ muttered Megan crossly, glaring at her mother briefly before dropping her hand and stalking back over to the table, where she stood with her back pointedly towards them. Emily grinned at her sister and rolled her eyes expressively.
‘Aunt Emily, are you playing or what?’ asked Matt loudly. ‘You’ve missed two throws!’
‘Were any crowns thrown?’
‘Yep, we just had a pair of them.’
‘That’d be right.’ Emily lowered herself down from her stool and, pulling her change out of her pocket, walked over to the table. She piled the change in front of Jack, who was standing beside his son. ‘Can you place my bets for me, Jack? Just a dollar a throw on crowns, thanks.’
‘Sure thing.’ Jack straightened the pile with a Band-Aided hand.
Emily left them to it and wandered back over to the island bench, where Jill was still sitting on her stool watching the others play. But instead of sitting next to her sister, Emily went into the kitchen area and picked up the tea-towel she had abandoned earlier.
‘Don’t tell me you’re going to finish the dishes?’ Jill swivelled around and faced her. ‘Voluntarily?’
‘Yes, I am. And manually, I might add. But if I don’t, you’re going to say I failed at being you. And you’ll never let me live it down.’
‘You failed anyway.’
‘Did not – well, maybe a little bit.’
‘So, anyhow, did you enjoy it?’
‘Um . . .’ Emily placed a dry dish onto the island bench and looked at her sister thoughtfully. ‘Yes, I did. In fact, I’ve had a ball. But only as a novelty and only because I knew I could give it back. No offence, but you can keep it.’
‘Told you so.’
‘And I see what you mean about the being-needed bit, too. It’s like you can’t turn around without someone wanting something, or having done something, or being about to do something. And this damn sink!’ Emily gestured towards the pile of dirty dishes. ‘Is it
ever
empty?’
‘Not often,’ Jill laughed. ‘Not even when the dishwasher
is
working. But what are you going to do? Has it cured you? Will you still be bored?’
‘Hmm . . .’ Emily stacked another two dishes on the bench. ‘No, it hasn’t cured me. And I’m still bored. But what it
has
done is cross one possibility off my list. No
way
am I ready to be a parent.’
‘Yes, but Emily,’ protested Jill, ‘don’t forget you took over someone else’s family, not your own. And they were already half-grown. It’s different when you start from scratch – with your own.’
‘I know, but still – no thanks.’
‘So what about the biological clock you said was sounding the alarm?’
‘I’m pressing the pause button.’
‘Interesting.’
‘Yes, it doesn’t mean I don’t want kids,’ continued Emily as
she polished a champagne flute to sparkling perfection, ‘it means I don’t want them
yet
. I’m not ready.’
‘And what about being bored?’
‘I’ve been thinking about that too. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I just need a change. I’ve been here six years now, you know.’
‘No, it was only one night,’ Jill replied dryly, ‘it just seems longer.’
‘Ha, ha. I mean Melbourne, the office, my apartment. I need a break.’
‘Your beautiful apartment,’ Jill said with horror. ‘You’re not selling your beautiful apartment!’
‘No way. It’s too good an investment. No, I’ll rent it out or something.’
‘And your job?’
‘I’m thinking a transfer,’ mused Emily, pausing in the middle of drying a mug as her thoughts formulated. ‘Maybe back to Sydney. Or even overseas. They’re opening a new office in Hong Kong. Now, that’d be great.’
‘Yes, it would be,’ Jill nodded enviously. ‘I mean, I’d miss you, of course, but you might never get another chance for that sort of thing. Once you
do
find someone, and have kids and all that, then you’re stuck. And you will find someone, you know.’