Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet (24 page)

Jack looked at the man and could almost see him get a little
paler.  The crevice into the wall led into an open cavern where a few torches
and campfires were burning, making it easier to see.

“Anyway, we were on this secret mission, doing guard duty
for your planet,” continued Porter.  “I got to see the communications from our
ground team.  I didn’t think you Earthmen were capable of advanced spaceflight
or anything like that.”

“Well, we’re really not,” said Jack.

“Then how’d you get here?” asked Porter.  “And how do you
know how to speak New Solar?”

“Speak what?” asked Jack.

“New Solar, our language,” replied Porter.  “You speak it
perfectly.”

“I think I downloaded it into my brain or something,” said
Jack.  “It’s kinda a long story.”

Jack saw Scallywag and Faruuz approach a small group huddled
by a tiny fire.  A few men were laid out next to it, bloody and beaten up
pretty badly.  An older man in the same kind of uniform as Porter and Rodham
was tending to their wounds.  A few other guys were lying there by the fire,
too, but they didn’t look beaten up at all; they were just moaning and
sweating.

As the group approached, another man stepped out of the
darkness.  He must have been in his early thirties by Jack’s guess.  He had a buzz
cut of light brown hair, and his eyes were a hard blue.  Part of his right ear
was missing, giving him a weird lopsided look.  But other than that, Jack would
have pegged him as Captain America incarnate.

“You made it back,” said the man.  “I was beginning to
worry.”

“Had to go out farther this time,” said Scallywag, tossing
him a knapsack.  “Didn’t find much.  Some clothing, a few puddles of water, a
small animal carcass or two.”

“Any meds?” the older man asked as he wiped the sweat from a
shivering man’s brow with a dirty rag.

“No luck, Doc,” said Scallywag.  “Sorry.”

The older man sighed.  “What I wouldn’t give for even a
basic first aid kit right now.”

“We’ll make due with what we’ve got,” said the man looking
into the bag, obviously not too happy with its contents.  “Let’s just hope the
other team fares better.”

“Oh yeah, we also found this,” said Scallywag, pointing to
Jack.

The man looked at Jack and squinted.  “And who are you?” he
asked.

“Name’s Jack,” Jack replied.

“He’s an Earthman, Major,” chimed in Porter.

The Major raised an eyebrow.  “You’re from the planet?”

“I was,” said Jack bitterly.  “The Deathlords kinda blew it
up.”

A visible shift went through the group.  Even Faruuz looked
somewhat saddened at the news.  The Major approached Jack and dropped to a knee
so he was eye-level with him.

“If that’s so, how did you come to be here?” he asked.

“I escaped.  With Anna and Mr. Shepherd.”

The Major’s eyes widened.  “The Princess?  She was able to
get off world?”

“Yeah,” said Jack.  “Until, you know… they caught us.”

The Major’s shoulders visibly slumped at that news.  “What
happened?”

“They boarded our ship, and I got teleported to the Deathlord
mothership along with Anna,” explained Jack.  “They threw me in here and took
Anna off somewhere else.”

“So the Princess lives?” said the Major hopefully.

“Yeah,” said Jack.  “I’m pretty sure they wanted her alive.”

“Thank the Great Observer for small miracles,” breathed the
Major.  “And what of Paragon Shepherd?”

“Last I saw him, he was doing his whole butt-kicking thing,”
said Jack.

“Then there may still be hope,” said the Major as he got to
his feet.  “I’m sorry for what happened to your planet, Jack.  I’m afraid you
may have been better off there than you are here.  But while you are, you’re
under our protection.”

“And just who are you guys?” Jack asked.

“I’m Major Ganix, a member of the Princess’s royal escort. 
You’ve obviously met Yeoman Porter and Sergeant Rodham.  This is Doctor Pyle. 
We’re all members of the Regalus Imperial Space Force, tasked with protecting
the Princess during her expedition to your planet.”

Great job
, Jack thought sarcastically.  Looking
around the cave, there had to be at least a dozen sorry looking Imperial
soldiers milling about.  Some were weathered and drawn.  Others looked tired
and miserable.  Overall, Jack thought it looked more like a prison camp than a
military operation.

“What’s wrong with those guys?” Jack asked, referencing the
men Doc Pyle was tending to.

“They’re our wounded…” said Ganix before glancing at the
other non-bloodied men a bit uneasily.  “And our sick.”

“Do you know anything about where we are?” asked Yeoman
Porter.  “Where they’ve put us?”

Jack shook his head.  “I was on the bridge of the Deathlord
Mothership, then some jerk-wad tossed me onto a platform and teleported me
here.  That’s all I know.”

Porter frowned at that news.  Suddenly, Jack felt bad about
not being more helpful.

“You look tired,” said the Major.  “You should sleep.  I’ll
have someone set aside some rations for you.”

“Thanks,” Jack sighed.  It was a small thing, but at that
moment it was the best news he’d heard all day.

Ganix turned to Scallywag.  “Captain, since you found the
boy, would you mind taking watch while he gets some rest?”

Scallywag’s eyes narrowed.  It sounded like the Major asked
a request, but it was obvious it was really an order.  “Be my pleasure, Major,”
said the red-skinned alien.  “Anything else we can do for the Empire before
settling down for the night?”

Ganix smirked before tossing him a small sack of rations. 
“Eat,” he said.  “And keep your guns handy.”

Scallywag pursed his lips sourly and turned to leave. 
“Right-o.  C’mon, lad.”

Jack followed, along with Faruuz, leaving Ganix and the
others to tend to their wounded comrades.  Jack looked up at Scallywag as they
walked away.

“I take it you guys don’t like each other?” Jack asked.

“Nothing personal,” said Scallywag.  “As far as Regals go,
that Ganix chap is better than most.  But Visini and Regals just don’t tend ta
get along all that well in general.”

“Why not?”

“Probly ‘cause we’ve been trying to destroy each other for
ages,” replied Scallywag with a smile.  “Their empire might be bigger than
ours, but we’re nicer looking and have much better fashion sense.”

Jack smiled.  Scallywag reached into the sack Ganix had
given him and took out a small handful of what looked like crackers and gave
them to Faruuz, who quietly sulked off as soon as he got his chow.  Jack wasn’t
exactly sad to see him go.

“So the Regals had you on a prison ship?” Jack asked.

“Hmmmm?” said Scallywag.  “Nah, we were here long before
that sorry lot showed up.”

“You were?”

“Yeah.  Don’t know how long we’ve been down here, though. 
Seems like months, though it’s probly closer ta a few weeks.  The bloody
Deathlords didn’t have the decency to board our transport.  One minute, we all
think we’re gonna die locked away in prison pods as they blast our ship to
oblivion, the next minute, there’s a flash o’ purple light, and we’re here. 
Wherever here is.”

“Wait,” said Jack.  “Your ship
crashed
in here?”

“Indeed,” said Scallywag.  “We weren’t on the ground two
bloody hours before the first wave hit.  Crazy zombies came outta nowhere and
started ripping through the ship.  The guards freed us all ta help fight ‘em
off.  Had to abandon the bloody thing and run into the darkness ta get away. 
Since then we’ve just been wandering around, scouting, surviving, you know how
it goes.”

Jack was paying so much attention to Scallywag, he’d failed
to notice they were walking right toward one of the strangest things he’d ever
seen until they were right on top of it.

At first, in the darkness of the cave, it looked like a
large grey boulder.  But this boulder had arms, legs, and a head.  It was sitting
cross-legged, with a large wooden club the size of a cow’s leg across its lap. 
The figure, with well-defined muscles bulging from beneath its elephant-like
skin, was as wide as two men.  Its head, with a large Cro-Magnonesque brow and
a huge square jaw that gave way to two teeth jutting out from its lower lip, seemed
slightly too small for its body.

Jack looked at the massive beast with a mixture of curiosity
and fear as Scallywag strolled up to it and gave it a swift kick.

“Oy!  Grohm!  Wake up, ya sodding Rognok!” Scallywag barked.

The large creature stirred, revealing red eyes with black
pupils.  “Battle?” it asked in a deep, gravelly voice.

“Does it look like a battle?” said Scallywag.  “I got some
chow.  Ya hungry yet?”

The creature, apparently called Grohm, simply grunted and
closed its eyes again, going back to its almost statue-like state.

“Good talking to ya, as always,” grumbled Scallywag. 
“Bloody Rognoks be the best sodding conversationalists I’ve ever met.”

“What is it?” Jack asked, his eyes not able to leave the
massive alien in front of him.

Scallywag turned and looked at Jack.  “Oh, right, ya
wouldn’t know.  This is Grohm.  He’s a Rognok.”

“What’s a Rognok?”

“A race of big tough browners, that’s what,” said
Scallywag.  “Their world got hit by the Deathlords not long after the fall of
Regalus Prime.  Most Rognoks just liked to run around and beat each other
senseless most o’ the time, so very few of ‘em were off world before it was blown
to bits.  Grohm here was already in the Pit when we arrived.  He’s never said
how long he’s been here, but I get the sense it’s been a while.”

“So he wasn’t on the prison ship with you?” Jack asked,
feeling slightly relieved.

“Nah,” said Scallywag.  “Honestly, he’s one o’ the reasons
we’ve been able to survive so long.  Rognoks can take a ton of punishment, so
me and Faruuz just stick near this guy and let the zombies attack him while we
pick ‘em off.  Works pretty well actually.”

“You just let him get attacked?” Jack asked, astounded.

“He don’t mind,” shrugged Scallywag.  “If there’s one thing
a Rognok likes ta do, it’s fight.  We just let him do it.”

“So only you and Faruuz survived from your ship, huh?”

“Not at first,” sighed Scallywag as he slid down next to the
slumbering Rognok and popped a cracker in his mouth.  “There was a small group
o’ us, guards and prisoners.  Once we found Grohm and determined he wasn’t
gonna kill us, we followed him back to this cave.  Since then, our numbers got whittled
down.  Some got killed in the occasional zombie raid, others just wandered off
after getting all sick, never to be seen again.”

“Sick?  Like those guys the Doc was tending to?”

Scallywag nodded.  “Whatever it is, it seems to affect you
Regal types rather quickly.”

“But not you?”

“Meh,” shrugged the alien.  “Haven’t noticed anything yet.”

“Oh, but you
will
…” came a low, snarky voice.

Jack turned and peered into the darkness nearby, where the
voice had come from.  He could make out a strange figure moving in the shadows
and could hear the faint sounds of whirring and motors, almost like those a toy
electric car makes after being turned on.

With a
Clank
and a
Klack
, the figure stepped
into the light, revealing an extremely strange looking robot.  Its body was
ridiculously thin and rickety, with various mismatched parts that made it look
like the robot had been patched together from many different types of metal.  Its
body was scarred and rusted a bit, and it walked with what looked like a slight
hunch in its back.

In contrast to its flimsy body, its head was wide and oval-shaped, the occasional screw loosely popping out from its cranium, with large black lenses on either side for eyes, and a small horizontal box underneath it that glowed red with a waveform pattern when it spoke.  Overall, Jack thought it almost looked like some type of cross between a creepy old man and a pair of huge binoculars.

If Scallywag were surprised to see some rickety walking
robot appear out of nowhere, he didn’t show it.  He simply rolled his eyes and
popped another cracker into his mouth.  “Oy, here we go…”

“First, it will start as a slight fever,” said the robot. 
“Then the cold sweats will begin.  Your joints will ache, your breathing will
become labored.  Eventually, you’ll be unable to sleep.  Your mind’s grasp on
reality will begin to deteriorate as your body’s vital organs begin to shut
down, causing an agonizing, painful, horrible, and inevitable -
death!
 
Mwuahaha!  MWU-ahahaha!  MWUAHA—”

Suddenly, a rock flew up and conked the robot on the side of
the head, courtesy of Scallywag.

“Ow,” it said, rubbing the impact site with its three-fingered
metal hand.

“Shut it, rust-bucket,” grumbled Scallywag.  “Last thing I
wanna do after a scouting mission is listen to ya drone on.”

“You sure that stuff is gonna happen?” asked Jack, the image
of Yeoman Porter and the other sick Regals flashing into his mind.

“Of course it will!” exclaimed the robot, exasperated. 
“I’ve meticulously documented all the recorded symptoms among you organics. 
‘Tis only a matter of time before you all fall prey to this sickness, leaving
me the last one standing!  Mwuaha!”

“Trust me, before I go down, I’ll be sure to take you with
me, robot,” said Scallywag off-handedly.

“Many have tried…” it replied.  “All have
failed!
”

Another rock dinged the robot on the side of its head.

“Ow,” it said.

“But how do you know for sure?” insisted Jack, suddenly
worried about this sickness.  “I mean, could you be wrong?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” said the robot.  “I’m a genius!  I’m
never
wrong.”

The robot shuffled up to Jack and leaned over him.  “I don’t
believe we’ve met.  My name is Heckubus Moriarty, the greatest – and most
feared – evil criminal genius in eight star systems!” it said dramatically.  “Perhaps
you’ve heard of me?”