Easy Day for the Dead (16 page)

Alex contacted JSOC to let them know they'd arrived with their precious cargo (PC): Dr. Khamenei. Alex relayed the information the doctor had given him about the top-secret lab and requested permission to rescue Dr. Khamenei's husband. JSOC told Alex to “stand by.” Hoping to receive approval to launch a rescue, Pancho and John flew with their PC on a military flight to Stuttgart, Germany. Alex and Leila resumed their business cover and flew on Lufthansa to Frankfurt, then Stuttgart.

T
uesday, snow descended on the grounds of Patch Barracks, Stuttgart, Germany. Pancho and John turned over Dr. Khamenei to JSOC for holding before joining Alex for the debrief. JSOC told Alex that he'd get a new team member for the possible rescue op, but the rescue op hadn't been approved yet.

On base, the SEALs and Leila each checked into separate rooms at the Schwabian Inn, an above-average hotel by American standards that charged discounted military rates.

In the morning, Alex gave Leila the morning off to relax and shop while he, Pancho, and John went to JSOC's intel “shed” for maps and information about the prison, such as door locks, window fasteners, skylights, alarms, and security.

Alex requested information about Dr. Khamenei's husband and the Arab Spring movement in Lebanon. Alex also asked for intel on Gholam Khan and his two comrades at the hospital in Iran.

The SEALs discussed infiltrating Lebanon disguised as a documentary film crew there to film UNESCO World Heritage sites. They put together identities for each member of their team and asked JSOC to help them with weapons, supporting documents, equipment, and a safe house. At lunch, they gave Leila her identity and camerawoman role to study. Then the SEALs went back to the
intel shed for the latest dump, which included photos of Dr. Khamenei's husband. The SEALs continued with their planning.

After dinner, as Alex was finishing a hot shower, a knock came at his hotel room door. Steam rolled out of the bathroom with him. Expecting the new team member, Alex threw on shorts and a T-shirt. He looked through the peephole. There stood Leila, appearing calm as usual. Alex opened the door. She walked in and embraced him. Her enthusiasm was contagious.

After the door clicked shut behind her, Leila pulled off her blouse—she wasn't wearing a T-shirt or bra. The rush of combat still lingered in Alex's blood, and he was primed for action. Alex took off his T-shirt and they kissed. Leila dropped her skirt—she wore nothing but smooth skin. Alex dropped his shorts, and they embraced. A knock sounded at the door. Alex ignored it.

“Alex,” a familiar female voice called. It was Cat.

Alex was confused as to why she was there, and the memory of his relationship with her collided with his feelings for Leila. Without thinking, he picked up his shorts and put them on.

“Who is she?” Leila whispered.

The knock sounded again.

Alex put on his T-shirt. “Cat.”

“Who is Cat?” Leila asked quietly.

“Alex?” Cat said.

He picked up Leila's clothes and handed them to her.

Concern filled Leila's face as she took her clothes and put them on.

“Alex, are you okay?” Cat asked.

No, I'm not okay.
He was free-falling without a parachute. He was about to hurt two women at the same time. Lower and lower he dropped—soon he would crash and burn. “Just a moment,” he answered. Alex opened the door.

Cat burst in with a big smile on her face. She looked like she was about to hug Alex, until she noticed Leila. Cat's smile disappeared.

“Cat, this is Leila,” he said.

Cat's eyes examined Leila's blouse; part of it was untucked. Cat spoke Arabic to Leila.

Leila responded in English, “I am Iranian. I speak Farsi, not Arabic. Are you Arab?”

“My grandmother is Lebanese.” Cat's blond hair and fair skin didn't pass for Arab, but when she put on a dark wig and dark makeup, she became Lebanese. Cat's eyes shifted to Alex and she asked, “What are you dressed for?”

“I just stepped out of the shower,” Alex said.

The three of them stood quietly for an awkward moment.

“What brings you here?” Alex asked.

“Am I not welcome?” Cat asked.

“I didn't say that,” Alex said.

“You're not making me feel welcome,” she said.

“I wasn't expecting you,” Alex said, feeling totally out of his depth.

“I can see that.”

Alex struggled to come up with something to say. “We agreed it'd be okay to see other people.” The moment he said it he knew he should have thought longer.

Cat's eyes went steely. “That seems to have worked well for you.”

“I heard you and Hammerhead were seeing each other,” Alex said, letting his jealousy take over.

Cat looked at the ceiling and huffed. “Hammerhead? Oh, please. Who in their right mind would believe that?”

Alex was about to say he did, but realized that when you're in a hole you stop digging. “I didn't.”

“Really?” Cat said. “Because from the looks of things, it appears that you used it to justify something.”

Alex longed to be back in combat. “Leila is a good friend.”

Now Leila huffed. “Is that what I was?”

Alex didn't know what to say without pounding himself deeper into the ground.

“Maybe a better question would be ‘What am I now?' ” Leila said.

Alex looked at Leila then Cat. “I need some time to think.”

“Time!” Cat said. “I wasted a lot of it on you. What you need is to take those feelings out of those little boxes you keep sticking them in. What you need is to learn how to love. Without love, you'll keep living in that lonely little dysfunctional world of yours.”

Alex glared at her.

“Don't give me that look,” Cat said. “I'm the one who should be pissed. Go ahead and be pissed. It's one of the few emotions you do well—and I wouldn't want to take that away from a man suffering in emotional poverty.”

“Are you finished?”

“I'm reporting for duty. JSOC sent me. There's no one else. So when you're finished laying Leila, let me know. My room is across from John's.” She turned to Leila and said calmly, “You can have him.” Cat quietly walked out the door.

Alex wanted to slam the door on Cat.
I know how to love. My world isn't dysfunctional. And I don't live in emotional poverty
. “I'm sorry,” Alex said. “I need some time.”

Leila put her hand on Alex's shoulder. “Just call me if you want to talk.” Leila walked out of his room.

I know how to love. My world isn't dysfunctional. I don't live in emotional poverty
. The more he thought it, the less he believed it, so he stopped thinking it.

He didn't know what to do about Cat and Leila, so he left his room and went to John's room. The two sat down and Alex told him about his relationship with Leila and about Cat's visit. Alex half expected John to throw a punch at him, but he just listened and nodded.

“What should I do?” Alex asked. “I've let enough relationships slip through my fingers, and I don't want it to happen again. I cared about Cat; hell, I still do. And Leila, man, I'm sorry. I should have said no. And now that Cat is here, I'm confused.”

John laughed. “Oh, to have your problems!”

“Then what should I do?”

John thought for a moment. “Look, if this was a tactical situation I'd have your back one hundred percent, but I can't tell you what to do. Yeah, I like Leila, but I mean we were just talking. I barely know her. You barely know her. Cat, on the other hand, Alex, she's one of us. She understands life in the Teams and is probably better equipped to cope.”

Alex was amazed. John understood this better than Alex did himself.

“So what do I do about Leila?” Alex asked.

John smiled. “Leila is her code name. Do you even know her real name?”

Alex shook his head. “Do you think she and Danny had a romantic relationship?”

John shrugged. “I don't know.”

“I sure know how to make a mess of things,” Alex said.

“But you usually find a way to make it right,” John said, picking up his Bible and reading.

Alex continued thinking for half an hour. He didn't need any more time. He'd wasted enough already. “Thanks.”

John grunted.

Alex stood, left John's room, walked over to Leila's door, and knocked. She opened it. “Come in.”

Alex walked inside and his head began to spin. He tried to read her face, but his head was too dizzy to read anything. “Can we sit?”

She nodded and they sat down.

He didn't know what to say, so he tried to start from the beginning and kept going. “The first time I saw you, I couldn't help thinking how beautiful you are. When you told me what happened to your husband and son, I wanted to help you. We had some tough times on this mission, like the death march through the Lut Desert, but you stayed calm, you helped us, and we made it through. Every
time. You're intelligent, talented, and honest, and I wanted to know more about you.”

“But,” she said.

“I have to fix things with Cat,” Alex said.

“She seems like she does not want to fix things.”

“I have to try. I have to believe I can. It's time to up my game.”

“Up your game?” Leila asked.

“Do better. I should've done better a long time ago.”

“I was afraid of this.”

“JSOC still wants you on this mission. The guys and I want you on this mission.”

“I want to continue.”

“And I want to stay friends with you.”

“When she came through that door, I was afraid of this.”

“I'm sorry.” He paused. “I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it. Tomorrow, if we're still waiting for the rescue mission, I need to spend some time with Cat.”

“What if she does not want to spend time with you?”

“I have to believe she will. And I don't want you to have to stay in this hotel room alone all day. I'm thinking maybe Pancho and John can show you around Germany, if you like.”

She scratched her head. “I do not want to see Germany. I want to see you. Just let her go.”

“I can't.”

“Yes, you can.”

Alex said nothing.

“My real name is Shalah Farshid,” she said. “Farshid was my family name before I married.”

Alex remained silent.

Leila became quiet, too. Finally, Leila broke the silence. “I envy her.”

“I'll tell Pancho and John to take you out tomorrow.”

“I do not want to go out.”

“I'm sorry.”

Alex turned to go, but Leila stopped him. “Just one more thing,” she said. “Kiss me goodbye.”

He hesitated like he was standing in front of the railroad tracks—the red lights flashed and the bells rang.

“Please do not tell me you are sorry,” Leila said. “Show me with a kiss.”

The red lights continued to flash and the bells continued to ring—and now the crossing gates began to lower as he stepped onto the tracks. He leaned in and tilted his head. He let the tension out of his lips before they touched hers. Leila's lips were smooth. Alex put one hand on her hip and the other slowly sifted through the back of her hair. His closed lips touched the top of hers. She closed her eyes. He softly kissed one eye then the other. He kissed her bottom lip. His lips traced hers in a slow circle. Alex opened his lips slightly. She opened hers. Leila's breath was minty. He kissed her gently. She kissed him back. His tongue touched inside the edge of her lip. Her tongue touched his tongue, stimulating it. His right hand descended her neck and stopped between her shoulder blades, holding her. Leila's hands touched his face.

The train illuminated Alex in its lights as it blasted its whistle. Alex was too entranced to step off the tracks. He took a step forward. Leila took a step back. Kissing her deeply, Alex walked forward, easing her backward. When they reached the bed, Leila sat to keep from falling. Alex continued forward, pushing her onto her back. He picked up her legs and put them on the bed. Alex lay near the middle of the bed, next to her. They kissed. Leila rolled on top of him. Then Alex rolled on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him. He lost himself in the sensuousness of her mouth.

Red lights flashed, bells rang, the light shone bigger and brighter, and the whistle blew louder—now it was too late to step off the tracks. Alex rolled off her and lay on his side next to her. He placed his hand on her belly, and when her head turned to face him, he
kissed her. His consciousness disappeared into Leila. His hand caressed her body. She pushed his hand away and sat up, breathing heavily.

“Mamnoon,”
she said. Thank you.

Alex stared at her for a moment, not understanding.

“Thank you,” she said.

He was in a daze.

“I think you better go now.”

Alex sat up, still looking at her.

“Please, go.”

Alex stood and walked to the door. He stopped and turned to look at her.

“Wait.” She rose and walked over to him. Leila held his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly. Then she stopped.

“Mamnoon,”
she said with tears in her eyes.

He walked through the door and turned around, but Leila closed the door in his face. Alex returned to his room, but his legs could only move sluggishly. Although he should already be at his door, he was still in the middle of the hallway. Finally, his hand pulled out his key card and unlocked the door. He grasped the door knob, but his hand seemed to move in slow motion. The door opened and he entered. Just walking to the bed exhausted him. He sat down, but he knew he wasn't finished. He felt terrible about bringing tears to Leila's eyes, but he had to put her out of his mind.

I have to try to fix things with Cat. But how can I talk to her with the same lips that just kissed Leila? I could wash my face, but that wouldn't wash away Leila's memory, and her scent would still be on me. I could shower, but then I'd smell like I was trying to wash away something. No matter what I say to Cat, she'll still be angry. No matter what I do, I'm damned. Damned or not, I already made up my mind. I already wasted enough of Cat's time without being able to make any kind of commitment to her.