Easy (16 page)

I walked up the
steps to my building, and not until I got to the door did I look up and see
Kennedy standing there on the top step, his narrowed, curious eyes flicking
between Lucas and me. “Jackie.” He stared down at me as I stepped up next to
him. “I came by, thought we could talk. But Erin said you were out, and she
wasn’t sure if you’d be back at all?” I’d left Erin a scribbled note telling
her where I was. She must have enjoyed rubbing my night out in Kennedy’s face. He
looked back toward the curb, but I didn’t turn to see if Lucas was there or
gone.

“Why didn’t you
text first? Or call?”

He shrugged,
combing his hair back from his forehead with one hand, the other stuffed into
the front pocket of his jeans. “I was in the building.”

I angled my head.
“You were in the building, and thought you’d just stop by and I’d be in my
room?” I had planned to just be in my room, but that was beside the point.

“No, of course I
didn’t assume you’d be there,” he backpedaled. “I hoped you’d be there.” He
looked toward the curb again. “Is… that guy waiting for you, or something?”

I turned then and
saw Lucas, arms crossed over his chest, still leaning against his motorcycle. I
couldn’t make out his facial features from this distance, even with the flood
lights surrounding the dorm. But his body language spoke volumes. I lifted a
hand and waved, to let him know I wasn’t being threatened. “No. He was just
dropping me off.”

After a smirk of
disdain in Lucas’s direction, Kennedy turned his sharp green eyes to me. “He
doesn’t look as though he understands the concept of ‘dropping off,’ if you ask
me.”

“Well, I didn’t
ask you. What do you want, Kennedy?”

Some guy going
inside called out, “K-Moore!” and Kennedy acknowledged him with a lifted chin
before answering me. “I told you, I want to talk.”

I crossed my arms,
starting to feel the chill in the air I hadn’t felt pressed to Lucas. “About
what? Haven’t you said everything that needs to be said? Do you want to devalue
me some more? Because I have to tell you, I’m not real super amenable to that.”

He sighed as
though tolerating some sort of distraught outburst, a familiar consequence of
me being
inflexible—
his word—that I’d seen many times in the past three
years. I’d forgotten about that until seeing it again. “There’s no need to be inflexible,”
he said then, as though reading my mind.

“Really? I think there
are plenty of reasons for my inflexibility. Or stubbornness. Or obstinacy. Or
pigheadedness—”

“I
get
it,
Jackie.”

My hands made
fists at my hips. “It’s.
Jacqueline
.”

He stepped closer,
his eyes flaring. For a split second, I thought he was angry—but that wasn’t
anger in his eyes. It was desire. “I get it, Jacqueline. I hurt you. And I
deserve everything you’re saying, and everything you feel.” He raised his hand
to my face and I stepped back, out of his reach, my thoughts chaotic. Dropping
his hand, he added, “I miss you.”

Chapter 13

Snapping my mouth closed, I spun to
swipe my card and enter the dorm, and Kennedy followed me through the door. I
turned to tell him I didn’t want to talk and saw Lucas grabbing the door just
before it snapped shut. Stepping next to me, he glared at my ex and the air was
charged between them the moment Kennedy turned and noticed him.

“You okay,
Jacqueline?” Lucas asked, his eyes never wavering from my ex.

“Lucas—” I started
to reiterate verbally that Kennedy was no physical threat to me when he huffed
an arrogant laugh, peering at Lucas.

“Wait—aren’t you
the maintenance guy? The one who repaired the A/C at the house?” He glanced at
me, and back to Lucas. “What would administration think about you sniffing
around the students?”

The look on
Lucas’s face was murderous, but he held his ground without reaction, ignoring
Kennedy’s question as though it hadn’t been asked. He turned his eyes to me,
waiting for my answer.

“I’m fine. I
promise.” I held my breath, hoping he’d believe me. People near the door were
already nudging each other and whispering.

“Are you hooking
up with
this guy
, too?” Kennedy interjected.

“Too?” I asked,
but I knew what he meant before he confirmed it.

“In addition to
Buck.”

The edges of my
vision closed in. “What?”

Kennedy took my
arm just above the elbow, as though he meant to escort me away, and Lucas’s
hand shot out, grabbing his wrist and removing his hand from me easily.

“What the fuck?”
Kennedy’s voice was a low growl as he jerked his arm from Lucas’s grip. He put
himself slightly in front of me, facing off with Lucas, and everyone within
sight of the developing spectacle was stock-still and gawking. The two of them
looked evenly matched, but I knew Lucas’s proficiency firsthand. Kennedy would
lose, and Lucas would be expelled.

I stepped around
my ex and laid a hand on his forearm. It was rock-hard beneath my fingers. “Kennedy,
leave
.”

“I’m not leaving
you with this—”

“Kennedy,
leave.
”

“He’s a
maintenance
man, Jackie—”

“He’s a
student
,
Kennedy.” I decided not to point out that Lucas was in our econ class, in case
he recognized him as the class tutor and reported him for going out with me.

Kennedy inclined
his head, his expression transforming into concern—slightly furrowed brow, eyes
searching mine. “We’ll talk next week. When we’re home.” His meaning was clear
and directed at Lucas. The two of us were about to spend several days in our
hometown, where he would have unrestricted access to me, without the nuisance
of interference.

I wanted to tell
him I had nothing to say to him, not now or then, but my jaw was clenched so
tightly that I couldn’t speak. Still unsure what I was even doing over
Thanksgiving break, I ignored his implication that we would be alone then.
Judiciously, he didn’t try to touch me again, though his lethal expression
matched Lucas’s as they faced off. I didn’t exhale until he went through the
door.

Onlooker
disappointment was palpable. A few hung around to see if there would be a bonus
row between Lucas and me. The adrenaline was clearly still pumping through
him—his body was taut, like the hard wire of my bass strings, and when I
reached a hand to his forearm, it was granite under layers of leather and
flannel.

“I’m okay, honest.”
I sighed heavily. “Well, as okay as I can be after that.” I squinted up at him.
“Exactly how many jobs do you have, anyway? Barista, self-defense guru, fixit
guy, parking enforcement officer—and by the way, does that mean
you
gave
me the ticket I got last spring for two measly minutes of double parking when I
ran into the library to return a book?”

His shoulders relaxed
with my teasing tone, and I was rewarded with the ghost smile. “I plead the
fifth on that. I write a
lot
of parking tickets. The, um, fixit thing is
rare. And I volunteer time for the self-defense gig.”

What I’d left off this
list, and what he didn’t add:
economics tutor
.

“I guess we should
add one more, huh?” I said, watching him closely. He had a superb poker face.
No reaction at all. “Personal defender of Jacqueline Wallace?”

The faint smile
appeared again.

“Another volunteer
position, Lucas?” I asked coyly, brows rising. “How will you have time for
studying? Or anything fun?”

His hands reached
for me, gripping my hipbones and pulling me forward. He stared down at me, his
voice low. “There are some things I will make time for, Jacqueline.” Leaning,
he kissed the spot just in front of my ear, the spot that made my breath go
shallow. And then, he turned and jogged out to his motorcycle, leaving me
standing in the entryway. Once he was outside the pool of light surrounding the
building, I couldn’t see him. I turned and walked to my room in a daze.

***

Jacqueline,

Your
paper is good. Solid research. I think Dr. H will be pleased with it. I noted a
couple of small inconsistencies, and one place you may have left out a
citation. Other than that, I think it’s a valid, well-supported argument.

I’ve
attached the worksheet for tomorrow’s session. You’re caught up now, and you
seem to have a good grasp on the new material, but I’ll continue to send you
the worksheets for the last two weeks of class, if you’d like.

I
assume you’re going home over the break? I’ll be heading home Wednesday morning.
No wifi there, so I’ll be out of pocket until Sunday.

LM

Landon,

Looks
like I may get this paper turned in early—what a relief. Thank you for your
help. Yes, please continue to send the worksheets.

My
parents are going skiing over break, but I’d rather go home for a few days and hang
out with old friends than stay here on campus. They’ll be boarding Coco, Mom’s
evil-tempered little dog, so it should be peaceful and quiet.

Are
you flying home? I remember you saying you were carless.

JW

Jacqueline,

Your
parents are going skiing and not taking you? You’ll be at home for Thanksgiving
alone?

I’m hitching a ride from someone with a car. Home isn’t far, though it seems like another world at times.

LM

Landon,

My
parents thought I’d be at my ex’s. We’ve traded off the last couple of years
rather than trying to join both family meals; this was his year. My BFF’s
family will be at her grandparents’ cabin outside Boulder, and I’m not in the
mood to burden anyone else.

I’d rather be alone. That’s weird, huh?

JW

Jacqueline,

Not weird to me. But maybe I’m just weird, too, and I wouldn’t know.

I’ll miss your emails.

LM

Landon,

Ditto. Have a good break.

JW

***

I couldn’t look back at Lucas
during class Monday without thinking about Saturday night. His hooded stares
made me think he was having the same issue. After I caught him staring holes
into the back of Kennedy’s head, I didn’t turn back around. When class ended, Kennedy
turned and smiled at me. I forced my lips into a line and turned my back to him
to pack up. This class, this semester could not end too soon, for too many
reasons to count.

“Can I just
say—your ex is gorgeous, but he seems like a conceited
asshat
.” Benji crammed
his spiral into a backpack that looked as though it could erupt with loose
papers any moment.

I zipped my
backpack. “Yeah, he totally is.” We waited for Kennedy to pass before moving
into the aisle, and I studiously avoided making eye contact. I was more than a
little worried about his assertion that we would talk while we were both home;
I couldn’t imagine what he could have to say that I’d want to hear.

Following our
classmates up the steps, everyone animated with anticipation of the coming long
weekend, Benji told me he’d be flying home to Georgia and coming out to his
father—the only member of his family he hadn’t told. “Mom’s known I was gay since
I was thirteen.”

I was worried on
his behalf. “Will your dad be… upset?”

He smiled. “I
think he knows. He’s just not sure if that means I’m going to show up in a
dress or something.” The thought of Benji in a dress wasn’t a pretty picture,
and I couldn’t hold back my laugh. He laughed too, adding, “I know, right?”

Lucas was gone, or
so I thought, until Benji and I emerged into the busy hallway and I spotted him
leaning on the far wall, near the side door I usually took to escape the
building. He watched us approach, but he seemed acutely aware of everyone else
as well. I imagined him watching for Dr. Heller.

“You haven’t told
him you know yet, have you?” Benji asked, speaking from the side of his mouth.

I shook my head.

“Don’t make him
suffer too much. He looks sorta vulnerable.”

I chuckled. “Right.
A tough, muscular guy like that—who’s trained to beat people up, and lies about
who he is to girls—is so vulnerable.”

He squeezed my arm
just above the elbow and smiled. “He’s either an asshat to rival all asshats
before him, or there’s a reason for those lies.”

I sighed. “I wish
I was a mind reader.”

“You might not,
once you know what’s in there.”

“If I ever do.”

Benji shrugged in
agreement and veered off toward the long hallway leading to the south exit,
turning to call, “Have a good break, Jacqueline.”

“You, too.”

I reached Lucas
and he turned to follow me, leaning close to push the door open. “Can I see you
tonight?” he murmured.

I wondered if I
was turning into a booty call. Or if that’s all it had ever been to him—if that
was his reason for not telling me he was Landon Maxfield. “I have a test
tomorrow in astronomy. We have study group in our room tonight.”

I glanced up at
him, walking beside me with his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his
jeans. His gaze continuously scanned over the crowd of people, as though he was
on guard.

“Tomorrow night?” He
stared down at me as we neared the building, and I noted that he seemed to know
exactly where I was going.

“I have an
ensemble rehearsal tomorrow. I usually spend Sunday mornings in the music hall,
but I missed yesterday.” I hadn’t told Lucas I played the bass. I’d told
Landon.

“You slept in?”

I nodded.

“Me, too.”

We reached the
entry and stopped to the side of the door. “I have to get my bass packed up,
too, since I’m taking it home with me.” Waiting to see if he’d react, I watched
his eyes, which matched the gray-blue of the overcast sky as his gaze drifted
over the faces around us. “I’ll have plenty of time to rehearse during break.”