Easy Street (the Hard Way): A Memoir
Read Easy Street (the Hard Way): A Memoir Online
Authors: Ron Perlman
Copyright © 2014 by Ron Perlman
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available for this book.
ISBN 978-0-306-82345-9 (e-book)
Editorial production by
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thon Production Services.
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DESIGN BY JANE RAESE
Set in 12-point Dante
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This book is dedicated to the believers, quintessential of whom are my beautiful wife and best friend, Opal Stone, my kids, Blake and Brandon Perlman, who always direct me to true north, and my dear, dear Mom, Dorothy Rosen Perlman Kestenbaum. And equally important, to the unbelievers, who have shaped me as surely as the waters shape the mountains.
contents
Foreword by Guillermo del Toro
1
A Coupla Cannibals Are Eating a Clown . . .
2
A Coupla Drunks Walk Out of a Bar . . .
7
Just Good Enough to Not Get Paid
9
Wanna Set the Night on Fire . . .
17
They Call Them Shrinks for a Reason
20
The Doctor Will See You Now
Memory is, by definition, imperfect.
In reading Ron’s memoirs, I am delighted to discover nuances and details I had long forgotten. This proves to me that it is not enough to have lived one’s life if you have no one to share it with. The Perl and I have been friends now for well over two decades. He is my brother, my blood, and my confidant. I love him because he is, as you are about to discover, one of the most imperfect, most charming human beings on the planet. Agent Myers in the first
Hellboy
film expresses one of the few maxims I have been able to verbalize and one that I live by day to day: “We like people for their qualities, but we love them for their defects.” In writing this line I meant to say that we must not simply “accept” imperfection when it is revealed to us—we must celebrate it. This, I assure you, is the true sign of friendship.
Ron and I hide nothing from each other, and we are, therefore, able to be at ease when we hang out. Ron wears his imperfection with great pride, but he went through a long and painful process to be able to achieve such a state of grace. This process is detailed in several chapters of the book you are about to read. The Perl has embellished every anecdote in which I am involved, that much I know.
I am glad he recalls—or has fabricated—so many details. It makes no difference whether I agree with them because I would much rather hear Ron tell the story than pursue accuracy. You see, Ron happens to be the best raconteur I have ever met. All the stories he tells have a setup and a punch line and are always entertaining.
You can and will spend hours with the Perl and learn more about yourself, what it means to be human, by hearing him tell you tales in which he fumes, cringes, or grovels at the feet of life. His triumphs and struggles are instructive and entertaining in equal measure. He is not gossipy, but he stays compelling. He gives you a map of his flaws but is kind enough to be mum about the many flaws of others. He is Virgil to his own Dante and takes us all on a travelogue of self-discovery and acceptance.
Ron’s journey as an actor is woven tightly with my own growth as a director. I was a fan of his early enough that we caught each other in the infancy of our careers. He neglects to tell the story, but he stood by me on
Cronos
when his team advised him to leave the production. We were entirely broke and unable to pay him his due weekly salary, but he trusted me. I gave him my word that he would get paid every cent if he stayed and finished the production. I never forgot this, and I, in turn, stood by him as my choice for Hellboy. Back then it didn’t make the financing of the movie any easier.
I didn’t really care. I stuck to my belief that Ron was Hellboy. It was a simple fact because, naturally, I had written the part for him. All those lines in both movies, the ones that seem improvised and spontaneous, seem so because I know the man as well as I do and have such kinship with him. Ron is Hellboy, yes, but I will always look upon Ron wishing I could be him when I grow up. That has proven to be out of the question as I turn fifty and my only growth is now lateral. But one can hope . . .
Ron and I are not afraid of a good fight or a verbal dustup when we get too big for our britches. We knock each other around from time to time, but we always end up standing on a burnt-out battlefield when everyone else has toppled. We have gone through day shoots, night shoots, all nighters, seventy-two-hour days, lack of funds, mutiny or bliss, explosions, slime, blood, freezing rain, six-hour makeup jobs, and each other’s tempers, and we’ve got each other’s back every time.
Our friendship is stronger than ever. I love Ron. I love his defects and love the fact that he has chosen to ignore mine. We are fallible as
humans and very exacting as artists, and that is a combination you can only reveal to your closest companions and accomplices. I have seen Ron grow into the most unlikely of leading men, and he has remained my constant partner in crime. Some of our adventures together are chronicled in this book, but most of them are not. Each movie we’ve made would give enough chill and thrill to fill a book this size, but Ron is chronicling his most important endeavor: his truce with himself and the long journey to being able to live at peace in one’s skin.
I read speedily and hungrily through every page and discovered details and episodes in Ron’s life that I knew nothing about. This book is bound to surprise you too, even if you are already a fan, and it will turn you into one if you are not. May we all love Ron for those precious defects he has made all his own, and may we all live long enough to witness and share his earnest, pratfall-laden journey into full realization.
Love the Perl. You will too.
Guillermo del Toro
Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy, Pacific Rim