Authors: Rosie Rushton
‘Soon,’ Phoebe said. ‘When Cameron can come up and hold my hand. Not that it will make any difference. I’m not like you; I know what I want and no way am I changing my
mind because of something my mother says.’ She flicked her hair over her shoulders and looked at Anna. ‘I would have thought you would understand that more than anyone.’
Following her down into the garden, Anna had to acknowledge that she had a point.
CHAPTER 15
‘If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty
. . .’
( Jane Austen
, Persuasion
)
T
HE
F
ESTIVAL WAS INI FULL SWING.
T
HE CHARIOT RACE
had been a great success, although Charlie’s
kart lost a wheel on Stocks Hill, and he and Felix ended up pushing it to the finishing post, Felix using only his good hand and some very colourful language. The carnival procession had wound its
way through the villages of Kellynch and Drayton Magna, the fancy-dress competition was underway in the Memorial Gardens and, at Hampton House, Wild Chicks were nearing the end of their one-hour
slot.
For Anna, it was a surreal experience; the band was playing on the verandah that had, until so recently, been as familiar to her as the rest of her home, but was now bedecked, not with urns full
of the trailing fuchsias her mother had loved so much, but with Japanese Cheya lanterns, a couple of sculpted heads in marble and a tinkling water feature of the variety that her father would be
sure to call naff.
The lawn, which had once been mown to bowling-green precision, was sprouting daisies and dandelions and several oriental wind chimes had been hung from the trees by the shepherd’s hut. The
whole place was swarming with people, eating cream teas, admiring the garden or simply lounging around listening to the music and enjoying the continuing heat wave.
Twice she had played a wrong note because she had allowed her eyes to scan the garden in the hope of catching sight of Felix, although why she was putting herself through the agony, she
couldn’t work out.
It was halfway through ‘Hang On To My Heart’ that she looked up briefly and there he was, leaning against an apple tree and staring straight at her. Their eyes met and he
didn’t look away. A breeze caught the corner of her sheet music and she reached out to secure it. When she looked up, he had turned away, and was laughing out loud, that deep, throaty laugh
she remembered so well.
And the girl whose hand he was taking and who was gazing up at him with wide-eyed adoration, was Louisa Musgrove.
‘Anna?’
The band had ended its session and Anna was about to follow the others in search of cold drinks, when Ruth touched her on the shoulder.
‘Look,’ Ruth began before Anna had the chance to open her mouth. ‘I don’t have a clue about the ins and outs of what went on between you and Felix, but I do know
this.’
Anna waited for the verbal onslaught that she felt sure was coming.
‘You’re clearly much loved round here – and when us old fogies interfere in the lives of you young people, it very often ends in tears,’ she declared. ‘I can only
guess at what went on between you and Felix – he won’t talk about it.’
She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand and glanced down the garden. ‘Interestingly though, when I suggested that he might like Joseph and me to take him away somewhere for a bit,
he was very quick to say he wanted to hang around here.’
She nodded in the direction of where Louisa and Felix were still laughing and joking together. ‘He seems to be making friends,’ she commented. ‘Mind you, he won’t find it
easy.’
‘Sorry – what do you mean?’
Ruth smiled. ‘I’ve spent all my married life travelling the world with Joseph,’ she explained. ‘And you know what? I think that back home, I probably have two friends.
Lots of acquaintances, of course, but just two friends.’ She looked at Anna, her smile fading. ‘It takes a very special kind of person to sustain a friendship across long
distances,’ she said. ‘They say life is always easier for the person going away than for the one left behind.’ She looked again at Felix. ‘But you know, I’ve never
been sure that is true at all. Sometimes you come home with such expectations, such hopes . . . Oh there you are, Joseph darling! Did you get the ice cubes?’
The moment was broken and Anna was left to reflect on what Ruth had actually been trying to say.
* * *
‘Anna? Hi, how are you doing?’
Anna was about to get into her car to drive back to Magpie Cottage and change for the ceilidh when she heard the familiar voice.
‘Jamie! You’re back – great to see you. Congratulations, by the way – you must be over the moon.’
‘About what?’
‘The TV part,’ Anna replied.
‘Oh. Yes. Thanks. Have you heard that Phoebe’s got . . .’ His voice faltered.
‘Engaged?’ Anna asked gently. ‘She told you then?’
‘No, I overheard Henrietta and Leo talking, and I caught the words “Phoebe” and “engagement” – so I got Leo to tell me. I just can’t bear it.’
His jaw was grinding and he looked as if he was about to burst into tears.
‘I know it must be hard, but you’ve not been together for some time now and . . .’
‘Anna, when you love like I love, you don’t get over it,’ Jamie said dramatically. ‘I’ll never find another girl like Phoebe, never.’
‘Of course you will, and one who will treat you better,’ Anna replied resolutely. ‘The theatrical world must be full of great girls.’
‘None as great as Feebs.’
Time
, Anna thought,
for a change of conversation
.
‘Are you coming to the ceilidh tonight?’
‘I don’t know that I can bear it – not if Phoebe’s going to be there.’
‘She’s not, she’s gone back to London.’
‘To be with him, I suppose,’ Jamie sighed.
‘Come,’ Anna said firmly. ‘And that’s an order, OK? I’m relying on you.’
Normally, Anna loved to dance but she simply couldn’t get in the mood. Jamie had turned up and then sat, morose and silent, by the bar staring into space, Louisa
monopolised Felix, and Henrietta was all over Leo. She had hoped Shannon and the others would stay for the evening, but they had other plans.
Anna was in the loo, which was really a Portakabin outside the parish hall, when she heard familiar voices through the open skylight window.
‘If Mallory moans one more time about nobody eating her flaming flapjacks this afternoon, I’ll scream.’
That was Louisa.
‘Honestly, how Charlie puts up with her, I’ll never know,’ she went on. ‘She’s so stuck up, just like Gaby. Anna’s OK – although she’s a bit of a
pushover. But then, from what I hear, you know all about that.’
Anna held her breath. Louisa must be talking to Felix.
‘I’ll tell you what, though,’ she said. ‘No one on earth would make me do something I didn’t want to do. Mum tries from time to time but she usually gives up with
me. Hen is far more obedient!’
She laughed and Anna could just imagine the effect that those immaculately even white teeth, and that flawless skin and her piercingly blue eyes would have on Felix.
‘But talking about Anna, you know what my mum says? She thinks . . .’
What her mother thought, Anna was never to discover because Louisa’s words were drowned out by someone banging on the loo door and demanding to know whether Anna had died in there. She
stood at the washbasin, letting water trickle over her hands and gazing in the mirror in a trance. A pushover? Was that how people saw her? It wasn’t true – and how could Louisa say
such a thing to Felix of all people?
As she wandered disconsolately back into the hall, Henrietta came bounding up to her, closely followed by Leo, balancing two over-full glasses of wine.
‘Anna, wait! Isn’t it amazing? I can’t wait, can you?’ She grabbed Anna by the arm. ‘At first Mum wasn’t going to let me and Lou go, but . . .’
‘Hen, I don’t have the remotest idea what you are on about,’ Anna sighed, not really in the mood to play along.
‘Didn’t Zac call you?’ Henrietta frowned. ‘He and Sula are having this kind of house party next weekend. It’s so cool.’
Anna was about to reply when, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Louisa and Felix coming back into the hall, hand in hand.
‘It’s going to be great,’ Henrietta babbled on. ‘He said he’d invite Leo and me, of course, Charlie and Mallory, Louisa and Felix . . .’
So their names are coupled together already,
Anna thought, feeling sick and tearful at the same time.
‘He probably won’t invite me,’ Anna said quickly, playing for time.
‘Don’t be silly, of course he will,’ Henrietta said. ‘Zac likes you a lot.’ She paused, glancing over to the bar where Jamie was still sitting, slumped over a
lager. ‘And Jamie, of course,’ she said, ‘so it won’t all be couples.’
‘Are you going to Zac’s?’ Felix asked Anna a few moments later while the others were dancing.
‘I’m not sure.’ She wanted to add ‘Do you want me to?’ but didn’t dare.
‘So what’s the problem?’ Felix asked. ‘Do you have to ask your father’s permission to attend a party where I’m going to be a guest?’
‘No,’ Anna said wearily. ‘And you know what? Your snide remarks are getting very boring. I kind of think
you’re
the one who needs to grow up.’
With that, she turned and walked out of the hall. She couldn’t believe she’d said that, but she realised that she meant it. As she reached her car, her hands were shaking so much
that she could hardly get the key into the lock. As she fumbled she heard footsteps behind her. Turning, she came face to face with Felix.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said and then he grinned. ‘But I’m glad I made that stupid remark.’
‘Really? I can’t think why.’
‘Because,’ he said, ‘
I saw a glimpse of my feisty Anna
. Anyway, gotta go – promised to walk the twins home.’
She sat in the car for several minutes before switching on the ignition. And all the way back to Magpie Cottage, one phrase kept reverberating round and round in her head.
‘
My feisty Anna. My feisty Anna
.’
My Anna.
It was probably just a slip of the tongue
, she thought.
But I was once his. And what he doesn’t realise is that I still am. And somehow, it feels like I always will be
.
CHAPTER 16